Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Me and my husband desided to go thru our closets and get rid of everything that does not fit. After I have lost 60 pounds and he has lost 80, I geuss we were sick of searching forever and trying stuff on, only to find that nothing looked good or fit... so why not get rid of it? Give it to someone who needs it.
We ended up with 6 huge boxes full to the top with clothes that we freecyled to people who coule use them or donated to salvation army.
Now my drawers and closet look so bleak. I have one drawer with maybe 4 Tshirts and a sweater and 2 pairs of jeans.... then in my closet where once hung all my "dressy" clothes that I got dressed in to feel pretty, there are two things. A duster type jacket thing to go over something I dont own yet and a cover up to cover a bathing suit... thats 3X and huge but will look ok over a swimsuit next summer.
I have a few things hung up in there for when I reach my goal weight that I bought from the thrift store years ago hoping to fit into it one day. 3 pairs of pants that are size 12 and 14 and two size small Tshirts and a dress that is prob a size 12 that is an antique and awesome... I found it at a thrift store for a dollar a few years back, it looks like that white dress marylin monroe wears when her skirt blows up... maybe I will wear it for halloween next year.
I know losing weight is great and all but I feel like I cant even enjoy it because I cant feel pretty with what I have to wear. I cant afford to buy clothes, I cant find anything at the thrift store and what I have now is just bare minimum get me by stuff. It makes me what to cry.
Also, I am so much smaller but I look in the mirror sometimes and all I see is a big mess. My skin is getting all loose and makes me look gross and bigger than what I am when Im naked :-( I know its to be expected because I have stretched it to 310 pounds and plus I have had two kids on top of it... so my stomach is becomming like a deflated balloon. To top it all off none of my bras fit, around me or in the cups.... I think I have lost a cup size which means for the first time in my life Im a size B. .... and btw I have loose skin on my breasts too. Cant even have good cleavage because you hike them up and there all wrinkly.
Im so happy about my weight loss but at the same time Im having a hard time adjusting emotionaly. I think I just need to go shopping and I will feel much better.... I mean when your a size 26 and you start a diet and you think about how great it would be to lose weight, what do you think about.... ?
All the clothes you will be able to wear! But I can't do that, I cant even find anyone on freecycle that has any to give me. Im really sad about it.
Sorry for being so moody right now.... I promiss I will get happy again soon... I geuss I just need a little time and I geuss Im mourning all my pretty.... but huge clothes I had to give away today.