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LOSINGJESS's Recent Blog Entries

portions & a rocky weekend

Monday, March 14, 2011

well I had a great week last week. I felt so in control and did the best I have done in a while. I hardly nibbled at all, which is a big deal for me because I would say this is one of my biggest issues. As a result I ended up dropping 1 pound! yay. That is pretty good for a girl my size for one week.

So what did I do to celebrate my success. I went out to a chinese buffet and even though I would say I didn't do horribly, I didn't do great either. So yesterday I felt guilty about it and I think as a result tried to eat meals which were a bit lower in points, I ended up becoming munchy and as a result I ended up nibbling my way throughout the day.

Sigh!

Ok so I am done beating myself up over that and I am ready to get back on track and try to pull a loss out of this week. Its gonna be tough because Im sure I put back on the pound I lost last week.

I have found out a very interesting thing about myself though in the past week, and without this past weekend I would not have figured it out. I dont think if I had overeaten this weekend then it would have dawned on me.

Anyway here it is. I have been eating frozen dinners from lean cuisine and healthy choice for the past week. I have something like old fashioned oatmeal with frozen fruit mixed in or an egg white spinach and cheese flat bread sandwich for breakfast... and then I have a frozen meal and some steamed vegetables for lunch and a frozen meal with steamed vegetables for dinner and then maybe some greek yogurt and fruit for snacks.

Its been working out really great and the portions are really really small compared to how I was eating before, yet they satisfy me. Anyone who has read one of my food blogs knows that my portions are huge! I was doing ok on the portions that big but I would be full full full afterwards. I am nicely content after eating the meals I have been the past week, which is nice, and obviously helped on the scale.

Another good thing about the frozen dinners is I cant eat spoon fulls here and there while cooking it and end up eating another 1/4 serving while preparing the meal. What is there is all I get so there are no leftovers to contend with and no nibbling.

So anyway, last night I ended up cooking something from scratch. I made burrito bowls... inspired by the tortilla free burritoes I order at Moe's.... It was about 2 cups shredded lettuce, 1/2 cup pico, 1/4 avocado, 1/4 salsa, 3 oz steak ..... anyway it ended up filling up an entire full size dinner plate in a giant hill. It was alot of food and after I was done (although it was really good) I was stuffed.

It was then that I realized that the portions I make at home are 2-3 times more food then what I or my husband actually need. I would save a crap load of money if I could learn to just cook less and would be a lot better off on the scale.

I unfortunatly am unable to do that at this point, so I am going to stick to the frozen dinners for a little while longer.

I blame this btw on the fact that I came from a family of 9 and from the time I was 15 to the time I moved out at 22, I cooked all of our meals. So I went from making huge portions of food to feed 9 people (most of which were overweight and ate large portions) to cooking for just me and my husband. It was extreamly hard by the way, when you cook large meals, it becomes very hard to cook small ones. I got the hang of it but maybe not as well as I should.

I bought the stuff to make dirty rice so Im gonna make that tonight. Im going to attempt to make it a more healthy portion size though and to not eat it while Im cooking.

........

gotta do great the rest of the week. I have my meals all planned out for the day, Just gotta stick to it.

~ Jess

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MALIAN1 3/14/2011 10:34AM

    Everytime you dish something up focus focus focus on the portion. Just because you made a lot of food, doesn't mean it has to hit your plate. I am going to work hard at following my own advice ( I have the same issues and you just made a light go off in my head). Thank you.

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CATE195 3/14/2011 8:53AM

    Planning for the week is very helpful. You can do it!

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WENDYSPARKS 3/14/2011 7:20AM

    Good luck and have a good week.

Wendy

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Essay for English - My Journey

Friday, March 11, 2011

This is my first essay for English. I decided to write it on my weight loss journey. A lot of it is ripped off from my blurb lol. If anyone feels like proof reading it and giving me any advice I would appreciate it. If not thanks for reading.

PS. I could use a catchy title as well, but cant think of one.

~ Jess

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I have been overweight my entire life. I started out as a chubby baby, who grew into an overweight child and by the time I graduated High school I was starting my adulthood as morbidly obese. By 18 years old I weighed 310 lbs and went on my first diet shortly after high school. My weight went up and down for years as I went on one fad diet after another. I would try a new diet for a week or two but after not getting the quick fix that was promised to me I would quit, go on a month long binge, and gain everything back. It wasn’t until I realized that quick fixes and magic pills don’t work that I was able to lose the weight that had been holding me down all my life. By taking small steps and making lasting lifestyle changes, I was finally able to lose over 100 pounds, and gain a much healthier life for myself and my family.

In January 2009 I had just had my 2nd child and weighed in at over 275 pounds. I could not shave my legs in the shower because I could not breath while bending over, I could not put my pants on standing up because I could not lift my legs up that far and The only clothes I had that would fit me were size 26 - 3X maternity clothes, which I was quickly growing out of. I was constantly in pain from the close to 300 pounds I was carrying around. The hardest thing about being overweight was I knew that I was hurting my children by being so out of shape. I could not run around with my 3 year old son, or get down on the floor with my 3 month old daughter; I didn’t feel like going outside with them or doing much of anything. Not only was I stealing away there childhood memories by being this way, I was also setting them up to be overweight as well. I was not being a very good example as a parent. At the time I didn’t think I would ever be thin (I had given up hope on that a long time ago) but I knew I could not go on living the way I was. I knew something big needed to change; I knew I needed to change.

On Jan 3rd 2009 I started on a Journey to a healthier me. I made small changes like reducing portion sizes, writing down all the food I ate each day, keeping track of calories, baking food instead of frying it and drinking more water. Slowly I introduced simple substitutions into my normal meals like switching from whole milk to fat free and white pasta to wheat. If I ate a cookie or two, I didn’t beat myself up about it, instead I worked in treats now and then so I didn’t feel the need to devour an entire box. The changes I made were so simple and easy that it no longer felt like I was on a diet; I was just living my life in a healthy way. I took baby steps when it came to exercise. I knew that if I tried to do too much too fast I would quit, like every other time before. I needed to first make activity a routine and then slowly increase my intensity. Every night I watched 30 minutes to an hour of TV so during that time I would walk in place while watching. It was easy and I could have done more but this allowed me build exercise into my life without overwhelming myself.

After a few weeks had passed I had lost 15 pounds on my own but I felt my motivation slipping away. I knew I needed some extra tools to keep me moving forward. I decided to join weight watchers and an online support group called sparkpeople.com. Weight watchers kept me accountable because I had to weigh in once a week. The thought of stepping on that scale Saturday morning and seeing a gain was just enough to keep me from having that extra helping at dinner time, or skipping my workout. The biggest help I had was sparkpeople.com, with over 1 million members and 500 friends there was always someone during the week between going to my weight watchers meetings to help me out or cheer me on. I know without both of these tools helping me along that I would not have come as far as I have. I think it is important to have as many support systems in place as you can when trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Surrounding yourself with friends, family and even people online can play a big part in how far you will go in reaching your goals. Going it alone was a mistake that I didn’t make this time.


Many things about me have changed in the past few years, you might not recognize me. I am now 150 pounds lighter than I was when I graduated high school. I no longer become out of breath doing normal every day things and I have been able to increase my exercise from walking in place in my living room to being able to walk outside, do aerobics classes and even run. In fact, I ran my first 5k in June 2010 and came in top 10 in my age bracket. I am now able to shop in the regular clothing section instead of plus size and have gone from a size 26 to a size 12. The simplest things amaze me now, like being able to wrap a normal size towel around myself instead of a beach towel or just how incredibly small my wrists appear to me. I can run and jump and play with my kids now. Instead of having to rest after a few minutes at the park I am waiting because they can’t keep up with me. I can now feel proud knowing I have passed on healthy habits like eating right and exercise and my children will not have to go through all of the problems that I did as they grow older. The most important thing that has changed is not only have I changed a lot on the outside but have also become a better person on the inside. I have love for myself and confidence in myself that I never had before now and it makes me wonder: If I have accomplished the one thing that I never thought possible, what else could I accomplish in my life?

A quote by an anonymous writer that I have kept close to my heart throughout the last two years is this: "Don't take a clock on this journey take a compass. It's the direction you're moving in that matters, not the time it takes you to get there." To anyone who is struggling to reach a healthy weight, I think the best advice I can give is to make small changes that you know you can live with for the rest of your life and also not to give up just because it’s a slow process. It may take months or even years to get where you want to be but it’s really not that long when you think about it and it’s completely worth it in the end.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MALEXANDER4 3/13/2011 8:09AM

    You already know I think you are awesome. Such an inspiration to so many. I love the essay and then feelings are there in your story. Who knows, you may help one more. I give it an A+

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ANGELBELIEVER 3/11/2011 8:31PM

    Well done. I agree with the suggestions of those small changes. I admire you for having the courage to write your story.

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PAPER_WINGS18 3/11/2011 5:36PM

    Wow, very inspiring and motivational journey! Well done!

As an English teacher(err, TRYING to find a teaching job in this craptastic economy), the only advice I have for you is to make sure you write out all contractions. I.E. Wasn't =was not. Some teachers/professors really hate contractions because it's informal. Also, be sure to write out words. Like instead of 2nd child, second child. And lbs= pounds. :-)

Keep up the amazing work, and thanks for sharing your journey with us!

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XIMERAGREY 3/11/2011 4:10PM

    Well done!

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NIKKIV2 3/11/2011 3:41PM

    I think you did an awesome job with this! I think the suggestion of "Finding Jess" would be a wonderful title! Since that is what you did.

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YESITSDEB 3/11/2011 1:55PM

    What a great story. Thank you for sharing your journey! You have an awful lot to be proud of.

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1_AMAZING_WOMAN 3/11/2011 1:26PM

    What an awesome blog! Really inspiring! And I loved the quote you gave (I cut and pasted it so I can keep it in mind).

Amber

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RETURNOFSARAH 3/11/2011 1:00PM

    This is great! Well written, personal and interesting x

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2BEHEALTHYAGAIN 3/11/2011 12:32PM

    What an awesome blog/essay! It was very interesting to read and easy to follow. I like the way it's more personal. I especially love the quote that you gave "Don't take a clock on this journey take a compass. It's the direction you're moving in that matters, not the time it takes you to get there." I am going to put that where I can see it as it's quite inspirational.

Someone suggested using your page name "Losing Jess" as your title, but I think it's more like "Finding Jess" as you finally found the healthy you that was hiding deep inside!!

Be sure to let us know what you decide to title it.

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THEWEIGHTSOVER 3/11/2011 12:15PM

    I think the title is obvious, "Losing Jess" or I thought it was a very good paper. My only suggestion is in the sentence, "The biggest help I had was sparkpeople.com, with over 1 million members ...", this sentence is a bit long and wordy. Maybe you can make it into 2 sentences. I only say this is as a fellow student who has editted tons of papers in my lifetime. Whatever you decide as a title, I'm sure it will be great. Good luck on your grade and thanks so much for sharing your story, so far.

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JPVALPO24 3/11/2011 12:12PM

    That is an awesome essay!! I wouldn't change one thing emoticon emoticon

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G9FIRE 3/11/2011 11:24AM

    I enjoyed reading this. It flowed very nicely. I like the suggestion for the title including the word compass.

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SUPERTHINHIJITA 3/11/2011 10:38AM

    This was really inspirational for me. Thank you for sharing it.

What if you called it something like "Compass" ?

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CHERKYLE 3/11/2011 10:34AM

    I myself am a very poor writer, so I will not be giving advise LOL I will say however, your story held my attention and I enjoyed reading it. I am sure you will get some excellent advise from people in the know. I loved it!

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CARTONIFIED 3/11/2011 10:28AM

    I liked it! It's good! Only "problem" i ound was in paragraph 2: "i could not breath" breathe*

can't think of a title though. M'sure you will get a great hrade!

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Feeling Good

Monday, March 07, 2011

Well I have been trying to get back on track for a while now... It seems that for the past few months (ever since I started going back to school) I have been slipping when it comes to taking care of myself. I stopped going to weight watchers meetings, except to do my monthly weigh in. I have been eating crap that I would not have eaten in amounts that I would not have eaten and have been pretty much a bump on a log as far as exercise goes. I have also been sick off and on for a little over a month now. Stomach flu, colds, and now I am just getting over an ear infection, sinus infection and chest cold.

The good news in all of it, is I have not let my self slip so far as to gain alot of weight. I have stayed between 159 and 164 for the past three months and am now sitting at around 160. I can thank weighing in on my digital scale every morning to me not gaining. weighing in really makes you take a step back and say, maybe I need to reel it in a bit today.

I had a rough time but I think I am finally starting to get back into the swing of things. I started out rocking the beginning of last week but finished the week strong. I went back to counting weight watchers points and got my etools back so I can now track online again. I find that tracking online helps me so much and looking back on it, as soon as I made lifetime I dropped my etools and started to have major problems staying on track. hmmm. I think its worth the 12 bucks I have to pay monthly.

I am only on day 3 of this week but I have stayed in my points range every day and exercised all three days. That is pretty major considering that I had cut out all exercise for a while there.

I have been eating a lot of frozen dinners. I have either cereal, eggs or oatmeal for breakfast and then a frozen meal and some veggies for lunch, then for dinner I have another frozen dinner and veggies. Then I eat fruit, string cheese, Greek yogurt, crackers and other things for snacks. I have been limiting myself to 2 snacks per day. The frozen meals are really keeping me on track because they are all between 5-8 points and are portion controlled so I cant nibble while I am making them or go back for seconds. Also I have found that they really are not as small in portion as I previously thought. If you take them out of the container and put them on a small plate paired with a serving of steamed vegetables or a salad, it looks like a full plate of food and is pretty good.

I'm hoping to start dropping weight again. I am dropping my goal to 5 pound increments which seems more manageable. Its funny because 10 or 15 pounds is like something to sneeze at when you weight over 250 - 300 lbs..... but when you get down to 160 every pound is a battle. Its crazy.

~ Jess

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MALIAN1 3/8/2011 9:20AM

    You CAN do it!!!

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TREASURINGLIFE 3/8/2011 8:06AM

    Keep on keeping on!!!!!!! :)

- Michelle

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MALEXANDER4 3/8/2011 6:11AM

    You have sure come a long ways. I'm proud of you for going back to school and your going to be fine. sometimes it takes a bit to get in the swing of things. Have a wonderful week.

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ANGELBELIEVER 3/7/2011 9:34PM

    I think you're doing great. It does feel good when we get back on track with our eating and exercise. Keep up the good work!

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HOPE2011 3/7/2011 7:59PM

    Congrats on making yourself accountable to yourself!

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BOVEY63 3/7/2011 4:37PM

    Congrats on getting back on track!
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I sure hope you have a much healthier March and so on...
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G9FIRE 3/7/2011 3:27PM

    Wow, look at you! Juggling school, sickness, family life AND maintaining your weight. You are still an inspiration to me, even if you say you've been struggling.



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HONORINGGOD 3/7/2011 2:28PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Photos of my first paintings

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

well alot of you know I am taking classes in college now for art. college is hard and stressful and has really thrown me off but I think it will be rewarding in the long run. I am only taking one art class, painting one. I have completed two paintings and am really enjoying it. I have never painted before so the art teacher was a little surprised and so was I for that matter on how well these came out.

Painting 1 - Moon
( with this project I was suppose to think of something to paint and then break it into at least 9 parts and paint each part in a different style or way, I went with the moon over the ocean and broke it up. Instead of breaking it into squares like the teacher suggested I broke it into different parts of a womans body. If you look you can see a face in one part, a back and legs in another)


Painting 2 - Lyra

I finished my first project ahead of scedual so I did a portrait of my daughter. It was very hard because skin tone and proportion were difficult but I think in the end I did pretty well.


..............

Anyway, thanks for taking a look. I welcome any feed back, positive or negitive.

~ Jess

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

READYRACHEL 5/10/2011 10:20PM

    I love the picture of the moon. I would hang that in my house.

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CHERKYLE 3/9/2011 12:22PM

    I love them! I cant even draw stick people LOl these are amazing!!

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RUTHANNE100 3/5/2011 10:41AM

    Wow--this cannot be the first time you've painted! These are remarkable.

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2BEHEALTHYAGAIN 2/28/2011 2:21PM

    WOW!! Love them both!! I can hardly wait to see what else you do.......you truly have a talent! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SPARKYJEANIE1 2/25/2011 10:52AM

    OMG Jess!!

You are freaking talented!!! They are absolutely beautiful! I must admit I was staring and staring at the moon one - but...I can't see the face or the body parts lol! It looks very soothing and peaceful.

AND - Lyra! Wow...faces are the toughest thing of all! Especially your baby girl! She looks full of mischief and so innocent at the same time - and those beautiful big blue eyes! Love, love, LOVE it!!!!

These are your FIRST??!! Can't wait to see how you progress in this class love. Sorry I've been off quite a bit lately...personal stuff. But, I'm good - and you're always in my good thoughts! So proud of you for school - and driving...and for being the bestest mama and wifey as well!

Have a wonderful weekend!
xoxo
Jeanie
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JLOSORIO 2/23/2011 12:02PM

    These are awesome! I REALLY like the moon photo!

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MALEXANDER4 2/23/2011 8:55AM

    Girl those are awesome. Don't give up your talent. Someday I can say I knew her when.

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STUDIETWO 2/23/2011 7:50AM

    Nice work! What a gift to be able to capture your imagination on canvas. Your daughter is beautiful. emoticon

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SYLVIALYNN2 2/23/2011 7:38AM

    Wow, you have talent!

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SPMOM2 2/22/2011 9:53PM

    Very beautiful and creative.

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G9FIRE 2/22/2011 9:49PM

    Amazing! I am floored at how awesome these are. The moon one just blows me away. I want it for my house! The picture of your daughter is also very good. I like your style. You are off to quite a start!

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SLIMSUPERNOVA 2/22/2011 9:45PM

    Am truly amazed that this is amateur art. Keep this up! Down the road you could sell your work + make some extra cash. No exaggeration.

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ANGELBELIEVER 2/22/2011 9:38PM

    These are beautiful. You have found your hidden talent. Be sure to help it grow and nurture it. All the best in your new found passion.

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NURSE_FAWN 2/22/2011 9:36PM

    They are both beautiful. You have a natural talent and you need to keep painting. I'll be seeing your paintings in an art gallery before you know it. emoticon emoticon

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AMLGARRIDO 2/22/2011 8:52PM

    They're very good!!! I wish I could paint like that!

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KTTAYLOR21 2/22/2011 8:43PM

    You did a fantastic job on both pieces!!!!! Great work!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LISA01605 2/22/2011 6:21PM

    I like both of them but I LOVE the moon one. You are very talented!

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JANRTEACH 2/22/2011 5:17PM

   
WOW WOW WOW they are gorgeous!!

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CECE0330 2/22/2011 4:39PM

    Love them! And trust me, as a former art student myself, I am VERY critical. If I thought they were bad...I wouldn't post!

Keep up the great work!

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I*AM*BLESSED 2/22/2011 4:31PM

    You have a God-given talent, Jess! These are very nice...

•*´¨) †
¸.• ¸.•*´¨)¸.•*¨) †
(¸.• ♥ Cheri ♥



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BRONXBABE 2/22/2011 4:23PM

    Jess, these are fantastic! I really love the moon one. emoticon

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P0KERS0PH 2/22/2011 4:23PM

    Wow, great job! You are very talented indeed.

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HOPE2011 2/22/2011 4:22PM

    Wonderful - you definitely have talent!

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SARAHJ19 2/22/2011 4:04PM

    WOW! Those are amazing! You did a great job! emoticon

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CARLA-216 2/22/2011 4:02PM

    Wow, these are amazing! You sure you've never done this before? :)

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MNCYCLIST 2/22/2011 3:56PM

    That's awesome! I can paint a mean stick figure but that's about it so I sure respect people who have talent like yours. Thanks for sharing.

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PINK_TEACUPS 2/22/2011 3:55PM

    Those are beautiful!

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CAMPBEND 2/22/2011 3:53PM

    Wow! You're so talented!

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update

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

well I am better now and hubby is better and the kids never got the horrible stomach flu that put me and hubby down for the count.

woosh it was bad. I came down with it at 3am on Thursday and just laid on the couch between running to the bathroom all day. Then Thursday night I got up around midnight to use the bathroom and while sitting there decided I felt really weird and bad and needed to get back to bed fast. I got up, walked over to the door and then the room went black and I opened my eyes to find myself on the floor. I have never passed out ever in my life. I suppose there is a first for everything. The only thing I can figure is I must have been dehydrated.

The next day I was still feeling a bit bad but had to get everything ready for the weekend. Me and hubby had plans to take the kids to my inlaws for the weekend and we were going to go to the art museum, get a hotel room in the city and then go see a symphony. ..... http://www.videogameslive.com/index.php?s=
home
So I had to get the kids and us pack but I still felt like crap. Then I had to pick up my son from school later that day and drive them to my inlaws house which is like an hour away. Thank goodness for GPS.... my hubby got me one for valentines day. :-)

Anywhoo Im not even at my inlaws for an hour when my hubby calls and says that he now has the stomach virus and came home from work early. So I had to rush home and baby him for the rest of the night in hopes that he would be well enough to enjoy our prepaid, no refund weekend.

I have all the luck

Fortunatly he made a very quick recovery thanks to my awesome TLC and we had a wonderful weekend with just him and I. It was a nice break from parenting and school and all that. The show we saw btw was awesome! you should check out the link above.

I feel like the stomach bug I had although horrible got me back on track in a since though. I wasnt really in a mood to eat much of anything so I really got out of the all the time snacking I was doing. Then my stomach was tender for a few days afterwards so I got back to eating small, lighter meals. Which is nice and hopefully I can keep it up. Also all the walking on saturday, between taking public transportation in the city and walking the art museum made me realize that I need to start moving again. I have not done any formal form of exercise in over a month.

Today was the first day I have exercised (besides the walking on saturday) in more than a month. Im really hoping to get back on track because lately I have just kinda been floundering along. Not really losing or gaining.... well maybe gaining a pound or two. I lost what extra weight I had gained over the past month with the stomach virus though.

Anyway. I feel like I am doing better (besides the chocolates I had today, damn whitmans sampler my hubby got me for valentines... I gave the rest to my sister though so it wont tempt me anymore) and hopefully I can keep up the trend.

~ Jess

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASHLEYW_206 2/25/2011 11:47AM

    You amaze me....how you manage to have the stomach flu and still keep up with your kids is truly impressive! I'm so glad you got to enjoy your one-on-one weekend with your hubby and you're both feeling better!

Sometimes it takes stuff like that to get us on track....I always try to remind myself what hungry REALLY feels like after I've been a crazy snacker.

Sounds like you're back on track! Awesome job! emoticon

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SPARKYJEANIE1 2/25/2011 11:21AM

    Wow love...

That was sooo much going on...and the stomach flu is NEVER ever fun in any way,shape or form!!! =( Glad you all are over that!!

Videogameslive? SOOO COOL!! My hubby and son went to that about 2 yrs ago. My son was about 11 or 12 at the time and TOTALLY LOVED THAT! Hubby too! They even bought a CD of the songs - I loove the Castlevania one...so cool how they do that - and the lazer light show made it even more amazing! Good for you guys!

Glad to hear things are getting back on track!
xoxo
Jeanie


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HIKETOHEIGHTS 2/22/2011 4:41PM

    That was some flu, glad it is gone! Bet it is Great to be back to your workout routine, emoticon

Thank goodness for in-laws!

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