Thursday, April 15, 2010
It sucks how bad a time I am having getting back on track. I did pretty good for a few days and then I let myself get too hungry yesterday while out at the store and ended up making the choice to go to cici's pizza and eat like a pig. hungry plus an un-ending supply of pizza is not a good idea, ever!
I made the desision a few days ago that I was going to stop weighing myself every week to keep myself from getting so disapointed when I dont lose very much. Ever since I told myself that though I keep getting thoughts running into my head that say " oh its ok to eat a little more because your not weighing yourself till next month" .... "its ok to eat out again for the 2nd time in less than a week because, your not weighing yourself till next month"....
Maybe weighing myself weekly is disapointing to me when I dont lose very much but I think it keeps me on track more than I realize. I think If I do it montly I will end up gaining weight back... or not lose any at all. I really dont want that.
I was looking through some pictures of myself, the fat me and me now.... I really have come a long way. I was thinking about how sad it would be if I quit right now, if I fell off the wagon so to speak and never got back on again. I could just see me in the future looking at pictures of me now and pictures of me all fat again after gaining all the weight back. It would be really sad if I never reached my goal and just threw in the towel.
I have kinda been feeling lately like I have been slipping that way, becoming more lax in what I eat and how I track my food. I do not want to stop here, I want to continue and reach my goal and then stay a healthy weight once I am there.
I know the only way that I am going to be able to do that is if I find a way to get out of the funk I am in and get back on track.
I think I might go back and start small again... maybe start my spark program over again, doing all the small things and working on keeping track of them to get my momentum going again... like drinking all my water and eating enough vegetables.
Im going to make things better again.
Ps... My sister went to my parents house this weekend and they found a picture of me when I was at my biggest. Its crazy to think I was once that big. I refuse to go in the upward direction again. Its so easy to slip back into old habits... Im not going to let myself become that person again though.