well I have done alot of thinking this morning and Im feeling much better. I opened one of my goal envelopes a little while ago. I put each 5 pound goal inside an evelope and labeled each one with the weight I would be at when I reached that goal and inside placed a reward and a motivational quote. I totaly forgot which rewards are in each envelope so its like a surprise. My reward for reaching 195 is new workout shoes. I really needed new workout shoes so that will be a nice reward to give myself.
While in my dresser (where I keep my goal envelopes) I pulled out a few peices of clothing I keep around from my biggest. One is a pair of size 12 underwear ... wow, they are huge! Its really hard to beleive I was ever that big.... but I was.
I geuss I just need to cut myself some slack. I have been pushing pushing pushing lately hoping to see huge results ... when I should be enjoying where I am more. I geuss its really important to live in the here and now even if you have your eyes set on a point in the distance.
I think maybe I will take a break from the scale for a few weeks and just focus on being healthy and enjoying being able to do all the things I couldent do when I was 270 pounds. Im still going to work hard... but Im gonna try not to focus so much on what the scale says and maybe try to get out of the house and do something active and fun...
staying in the house day after day is driving me stir crazy.
Well Im going to have a good day today and try to feel better and improve my mood. I like being happy, so there is no point being upset over a number on the scale.
Weight lost this week: 0.8 lbs
I know Im being silly because I lost almost a pound... I know that a pound a week is going to add up to 52 pounds in a year... and thats great. I know that there is more progress to messure than just the scale.
I tell myself these things but today its just not mattering... I am so frustrated, I am litterly almost in tears right now. I have worked so hard the last 3 weeks and I really wanted to see some sort of change on the scale... instead I got a gain this week and hardly anything lost this week.
Im sorry if I seem whinney right now. I try so hard to be a strong person and I try so hard to accept every small victory just like I would a large victory.... I really try and look at the bigger picture.... Its so hard now though! I had no idea how much harder it was going to be to lose weight once I got under 200 pounds. It sucks, I have to work twice as hard to get a freakin pound .... when I was at my higher weight all I had to do was do a little walking in place 3 times a week and eat a little less and I would drop 5 pounds. Its really frustrating.
I know this is all exagerated because I have a head cold and feel like crap. I think I am going to take a few days to relax and feel better and over the weekend examine what I am doing and what I can change to aid in my efforts. Obviously I could be doing something better... I refuse to think that my body is just resistant to dropping weight now, there has to be SOMETHING I can do. I refuse to finally get under 200 pounds and then flounder in the 190s. Screw that. I have worked too hard to get here to quit and too hard to get here to just give in and accept that Im going to gain half a pound one week and then lose half a pound the next.
Again sorry for the whinney post... I will try my best throughout the day to accept my 0.8 loss and be happy for it. I lost weight, thats the big thing, right.
I got up this morning planning on doing The biggest loser: cardio max.... I got it in the mail from netflix yesterday and was really looking forward to trying it out. I pulled it out of the little paper sleve and found that it looked like it had been run over by a truck a few times and then used to clean the up the road... Just imagine someone running a dvd over the pavement in big circular motions. Big surprise ... It did not play! :-( grumble grumble.
After doing the current video I have for almost 3 weeks straight Im a little burnt out on it and was really looking forward to doing something new. I just could not bring myself to put the other video on and ended up brain storming and then desiding to put on one of the spark people 10 minute workouts.
My husbands computer is hooked into our tv so I can take the mouse and drag the web page over to the tv screen and view videos on the big screen. It came in handy today. Anyway I did the spark people cardio jump start first... it was all jumping and surprisingly hard, I had to actually use some of the modified moves because I couldent do the more difficult moves for very long. by the end of the 10 minute segments I was pouring sweat.... I did cardio kickboxing next and though I dident have to use modified movements ... some of the movements I got a little jumbled up on... Im sure if I did it a few times then I would get use to the moves and it wouldent be so bad, I think if the videos had music to keep the beat to it would be slightly easier.
I feel like I got a good workout after doing two segments though and the great thing about it was It went by quick... I like that! I may have gotten to a point where I can workout every day and I dont run and hide from it or make excuses not to do it.... but it dosent mean I like it. :-P blah! ..... I cant wait untill I get my drivers licence and a little more money so I can get outside and do something fun. I really want to take up roller blading or indoor rock climbing. that would be awesome... then I can leave these workout videos for occaisonaly instead of every day.
My little sister has recently started getting up with me to workout. I geuss Its great that I have inspired her to get up and get in shape.... even though she weighs like 140 pounds. Shes still not in shape, I think she has a harder time with the workout than I do but dosent say anything because it would be a blow to her ego lol. I kinda enjoyed the alone time before though, even though maybe I dident realize it. Part of me hopes she will get sick of getting up at 6am to workout with me.
Weigh in is tomorow so Im planning on trying to drink all my water today and stay away from things with lots of sodium.... I want a good weigh in tomorow, I have been busting my butt and I think I deserve at least 2 pounds damn it! I refuse to have water weight due me in again. lol.
Last night I went out to eat at olive garden. The waiter seemed not to understanding about me and my husband spliting a meal and getting water... He looked confused almost. We ended up with worse service than all the other tables around us and I think its because he thought that we were being cheap by spliting a meal between the two of us and spliting the kids meal (like the kids eat that much food!).... I geuss he dident think he was going to get a good tip anyway so he was going to neglect our table.
Olive garden no longer offers light ranch. He brought our salad out with regular ranch on the side so I had to send it back and get light italian. This made me sad because I really like my ranch. The light itailian was surprisingly good though.
Its amazing how un-understand people who are not watching what they eat are. Like I saw these people in the supermarket the other day and we were in the bread isle.... this man picked up a package of the thomas' bagel thins (which I bought last week, they are awesome!) and said "whats the point in that?" ... His wife turned to him and said " Well thats just stupid, who would by a smushed bagel?" ..... I just wanted to turn to them and say not everyone can eat what ever they want and stay a healthy weight... It made me kinda mad for some reason.
Well back to olive garden... I ate good, I stayed within my calorie range for the day by spliting a meal with my husband and only eating one bread stick. I went over on fat and sodium though, but I figure I dont eat that way very often so it shouldent effect me too bad.
I have been doing well this week. I dident work out in the morning yesterday but I got it in when lyra took her nap. I got my workout in this morning even though I really did not want to get it in.... I hate getting up in the morning. Its so much more convient then trying to work it in durring the rest of the day and I like the fact that its done. Only 2 more days of workouts though and then I get a much needed break... I just need to push through. I have been really good on my eating latly... I feel like Im in a really good place at the moment... I really hope that sticks for a few weeks, I usually get in a good place for a week or two and then end up having a really really hard time for a few more weeks. I know that summer is comming soon though and I have my goals burned into my brain... its much much easier to stick with this when you have a concreat goal in place and its close enough to see. I want to look good in my white dress by this summer, that is my goal and thats what I am looking twards. Its keeping me moving in the right direction.
well Im hoping for a warm day so I can get out with the kids and soak up some much needed sunshine. Its amazing how much more I like being outside now that I have lost weight.... I geuss its because being active and sweating is much less unpleasent when you are thinner... its god aweful when your closer to 300 then 200.
well since starting to do the biggest loser workouts 5-6 times a week I am seeing big changes in my body already and I have only been doing it a few weeks. The before pictures Im showing now are from January so its not really week zero... but I did not take pictures week 1 ... I assure you though My arms were just as flabby 3 weeks ago as they were back in january... maybe a bit smaller but still very flabby with no definition.
I cant wait till a few more weeks pass and I am seeing big results.
If you are wondering my workout routine btw.. I am doing the biggest loser video - Biggest loser: the workout.... it comes with a high impact and low impact cardio segment, a strength training segment and a boot camp segment. Its been really great at kicking my butt the last few weeks and I feel like I am really getting stronger!
Well here they are
This is Jan - March. Im loving the difference in my arms... I also notice that the loose skin there is actually tightening up! That alone is worth all the work.
This is from Jan - March and only about 5 pounds difference and I dont know if I really look much different in the front.
This is three weeks ago and today.... I think I actually look a little bigger in the second picture but my body shape is a bit different. Im hoping to see better changes in the next few weeks as I drop more weight.
I Figure I just need to keep it up and have a little patients ... untill then I can enjoy my arms if nothing eles lol.
I have to also look at the bigger picture when its all said and done I look great compared to what I started at.