Sunday, January 03, 2010
last year on 1-3-09 I desided today is the day and started this jounrey to get to a healthy weight. I had said it so many times before but for some reason this time it stuck and now here I am a year later and almost 70 pounds lighter.
The year really has flown by. Its amazing how much better I feel now, how much more I can do. I remember how I was when I started. I couldent stand up and put my pants on, it hurt to much to lift my legs up and put them into my pants legs, I had to sit down to do it. I could not scratch my own back, I couldent reach because there was too much fat on my back.... I was beginning to have problems wiping when I went to the bathroom, which is a major "oh crap" momment. I couldent shave my legs while standing in the shower... I actually got out of breath doing it, plus it took so long because of the masiveness of my legs. I would sit down on the side of the tub and do it when I had to go to the doctor or wear a skirt. I could not run, my ankles would give out and I would fall. I couldent run around and play with my son very long because I would get to tired. I could not fit into size 24 pants because I was too big... I had to wear 2x-3x maternity jeans, and they were getting to tight. I had to have my husband help me pull down my sports bras in the back when I put them on because they would roll up in the back and I couldent reach because I had to much fat in the way. I dident have a regular bra that fit.
I was huge. I couldent move. I was extreamly unhappy.
I feel so much better now. Its amazing the changes that can occur from just losing weight. I feel more confident, I feel like I can be a better mother and a better wife now. I can stand and put my pants on.... I can stand in some of the more advanced yoga positions now. I can shave my legs now... I do it almost daily now, just because I can, every time I do Im freakin wowed at how much leg leg there is to shave. I have no problems reaching my back now.... I no longer am looking like an M&M these days.... in fact the back fat is almost completely gone. I can reach my entire back, scratch places I never have before. I can run around with my kids... I crawl around on the floor with them, chase them, dance with them and they are trying to keep up with me now. I can fit into size 18 jeans now! I can pull up and button a size 16! I can wear a size 14 dress! I gave away all of my clothes and maternity clothes to people who needed them.... I never plan on ever being able to wear them again. When I grow out of something I give it away within a week.... I am only moving forward and never plan on slipping back again. I have a jawline now.... my neck is long.... I have a waist.... I can feel my collar bone..... I can feel my ribs and my hip bones.
my biggest change - I am happy now... so happy. I have never had this feeling before in my life.... I have such a feeling of strength and accomplishment. I have gained so much more than just physical wellbeing.... I have gained a level of mental wellbeing as well which is somehow harder to explain. Im not at my goal weight yet but I will never let anyone tell me I am not beautiful or worth it... I have had that alot in my life, but never again. I learned alot more this year than exercise and how to eat right... I learned how to love myself and take time for myself and how to get away from all the negitivity.... not only put on me by other people, but mainly put on me from me! The biggest way to fail is to be negitive and let you talk yourself down.
Some of the things that I contribute my success to are -
writing down everything I eat
making exercise a priority, making it habit, making it part of my life. I started small and made it a habit. I never did that before. even if I was eating bad I still exercised and that made me keep going.
weightwatcher.com - etools.... I kept using the etools after stopping the meetings, 12 dollars a month is worth it
Sparkpeople.com - surrounding myself with people who are on the same quest and are supportive and not judgemental. I have never had an unkind word here and have found so many great friends. The site is fun and informative... it makes me want to log in each day which reminds me of my goals. I love the emails too, they motivate me to keep going.
The biggest loser - its great to have something to watch each week... someone to journey with and inspire you. I love that they are doing two seasons a year now.
I cant wait for the next year. This is the year the really amazing things will happen, when I get to shed the last layers. I have already shed the layers that I have gained durring my adult life. I am now at the point where I have the layer left that I have had all my life. I have never been at a normal weight, I have been a big baby, a chubby child, an overweight teenager and an obease adult. I dont have the benifit of having a memorie of me at a healthy weight... I have never been there.
This year I am finding a whole new person, a person I have never met before. I am in this with everything I have and I know I will do it. There is a little fear of the unknown but mainly I am excited because I know I will do this and I know at this point next year I will have the body that I have always wanted and If this year is anything like last continue to gain the healthy mind and soul that I have begun to rebuild this past year.
Thank you to everyone who has helped me come this far. Your kindness and motivating words have helped me more than you know.
well gotta go eat my anniversary breakfast
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Well today was christmas for us, we had it a day early because of some weird scedualing problems I wont go into.
I had a good day generaly... I got to see the excitement on aidens face when he opened his presents and saw santa ate the cookies and the reindeer ate the carrot we left out. it was great.
I got a lot of really great presents this year.
* a new sports bra * a set of 8lb weights (5 lbs was getting a little too light)
* EA Active for the wii (compatable with the wii fit balance board) awesome!!!!
* that proactive acne wash (I have been wanting to try that for my chin breakouts)
* cute socks * a dove body wash gift set * a new 5 blade venus razor :-D
*mineral makeup (not sure I like it) * a FIRM workout video * fuzzy gloves
* a cashmere scarf * a 10k white gold diamond ring (from my parents)
* a new pair of bike shorts to workout in & * a potato masher.... lol
I had a rockstar christmas. one of the better ones as far as presents go.
I spent all day long cooking!!! OMG. I am tired. I snacked all day long, did not count a single point and ate some really really really bad stuff, including but not limited to
* christmas cookies, egg nog, cresent rolls with cream cheese, turkey and cranberry filling, nacho cheese dip made with velveta, tortilla chips, ittailan cream cake, turkey baked with a butter herb rub, spiral cut glazed brown sugar and pinapple ham, green bean casserole, scalloped potatoes, sausage and cranberry stuffing, ect .... ect... ect....
uhg... I feel rather sick and kinda dehydrated. I need to go fall into a food coma and then wake up and get back to eating good food and exercising.
I tryed out the EA Active game for the Wii and its really good. I enjoyed the workout I did tonight. From what I read you actually work up a sweat while doing this game.... which I totaly beleive because even with pausing for the tutorial videos tonight and with it stuck on the easiest level I broke out in a teeny tiny sweat. I think its going to be alot more fun that then wii fit .... I know the balance board exercises I did were alot more fun and involved.
It was nice most of my christmas presents were fitness related. I will put them to good use this year.
My parents came over for dinner and they kept going on and on about how good me and andrew looked. :-) Its nice when people who havent seen you in a while notice all the hard work you have put in.
I cant wait to wow people by next year :-)
Well Im gonna go sleep it off and start fresh tomorow.... good bye holidays!
I dont think Im gonna weigh in again untill the new year lol, I need time to recover.
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