LORIVIOLA   41,519
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still streaking, but i've learned it's okay to back off… and a Non Scale Victory

Sunday, June 22, 2014

on thursday evening i went to the emergency room with gastronomic symptoms no one wants to hear about. anyway, i was admitted and spent several days not eating. on IV with fluids etc…

while in the hospital, i managed to walk the halls (very very very slowly) for 15 minutes each day. i have a goal to walk 1000 days in a row "outside" - but now, that has to include some inside time since they wouldn't let me out!

slowly they introduced clear liquids, then bland non-fiber food. when i was able to handle that and had less pain and other symptoms, they allowed me to come home (YAY!!! I cried, no sobbed actually, when they told me i could go home.)

once home, and showered, i went for a short walk with my friend Elaine. i couldn't believe how limited my movement became over the last few days. i had to walk SO SO SO SO SLOW. it took 35 minutes to walk .8 of a mile. (trust me, i know how luck i am to even be able to do that! but, it's a HUGE difference to what i was doing last wednesday when i walked 5 miles!) one of the things i was amazed at is that there is a little road that we went down, in the past when i've walked it i haven't noticed it had a slight incline!! well i sure noticed it today. i noticed my stomach muscles really working and it kind of hurt a little bit. i was fine, but we decided it was best to go home. once i was in the house and lay down to rest i was exhausted from all of the stress, and also from being sore. and SO relieved and happy to be home.

so, what did i learn?

~ that my health is most important.
~ that all the "little" things we obsess and worry over really don't matter at all. (Especially when you are told that you CANNOT EAT! for any length of time…)
~ that i want to heal and don't want to do anything that may jeopardize that.
~ that it's okay to back off and not walk as far as i had hoped i would.
~ that it is going to take me a while, perhaps quite a while to be walking 5 miles in one day again and that's okay.
~ that i am really glad i made the effort to walk all 3 days even if i was a little sore. i was able to go slowly, i was careful and i listened to my body when it was time to stop. I consider all of these things to be a Non Scale Victory.

I am sure there are more things i learned but i am really tired and will have to write them at another time.

so, i am finally home, and am now going to go to sleep in my own bed!!!
Goodnight, Sparklers emoticon

p.s. today was day #418. the streak lives on. (not to worry, if i really don't feel well enough to walk, i will not).

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRSRIGS1 7/19/2014 2:17PM

    I wish you a speedy recovery! Concentrate on your healing - the rest will follow.

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MAYBER 7/18/2014 11:30PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JOANNEEMERALD 7/3/2014 3:31PM

    This does sound like the gal bladder. I had something just like this happen to me several years ago. I had to stay in the hospital and go off food for a few days too. Take care of yourself. You are right, your health IS important!

I'm just curious. Did you have any warning? Did you have any pain before you were in the emergency room?

Joanne

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JUNEAU2010 6/29/2014 12:15AM

    I hope the healing continues!

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NASFKAB 6/28/2014 10:48AM

  sorry you got sick get well soon congratulations on being featured in Spark mail

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WHITEANGEL4 6/27/2014 5:33PM

    Glad you are home. Remember baby steps until you are better. Thanks for sharing your bllog

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AURIANNE67 6/27/2014 12:53PM

    emoticon emoticon

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PENOWOK 6/27/2014 10:08AM

    So sorry you were down and out, but glad you are hitting recovery! A number of years ago, I had a blockage and they had to remove some of my intestine. I worked at the hospital at the time, so I knew quite a few of the doctors. I was not able to eat anything for several days. I remember one of the docs came to check on me and I asked when I would be able to eat again. He replied something about: you wanna split those stitches open and let you guts fall out? I laughed then..he was serious but it was such a funny reply! Sounds as though you are doing wonderfully, but rest when you get tired. It's important for your recovery!! Don't push the window!

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JEB03253 6/27/2014 7:42AM

    emoticon emoticon

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NEWTINK 6/27/2014 6:49AM

    I hope you are feeling better. Take it from me I know exactly what you mean .. take the time to heal completely emoticon emoticon

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PROVERBS31JULIA 6/27/2014 12:50AM

    Hi Lori -
Wow, gallbladder! I remember when my mom had that too.

Your comment noticing an incline in your .8 mile walking trip today and suddenly noticing that sparked a memory of that happening to me 16 years ago when I had an emergency c-section for birth of my son. I had been walking this route around our house all during pregnancy - has even "lost weight" of my own while my baby's weight was increasing and displacing weight I had lost (so my weekly doctor and midwife visits seemingly I stayed "same weight"). But after that C-section, walking that oath was extremely painful because there were inclines along that path! Funny, I hadn't thought of that until now. So I can empathize with you here, even though not in the gallbladder itself!

Just take it easy and allow yourself to rest when you are tired - that resting is part of healing process!!

Julia

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JIBBIE49 6/27/2014 12:20AM

    Great to see your blog featured in the Spark Mail.

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CORNERKICK 6/26/2014 11:24PM

  emoticon

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MARYJEANSL 6/26/2014 11:14PM

  It sounds like you learned a lot of important things. That is always valuable, even if the learning came at a high price. I hope you continue to feel better and better until you are completely well and can walk that five miles again!

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AMBER461 6/26/2014 8:42PM

  Hope you are feeling a lot better and are doing well now that you are out of hospital.

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THROOPER62 6/26/2014 5:41PM

    emoticon

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SUSIEMT 6/26/2014 4:57PM

    Glad you made it home! Also it sounds like you have learned a thing or two. Keep it up!

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DIANNEMT 6/26/2014 1:27PM

    Hope you are ALL BETTER and can keep walking!!

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SHOAPIE 6/26/2014 11:24AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JERICHO1991 6/26/2014 9:36AM

    Great determination and perserverance. Good for you.

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STEVIEBEE569 6/26/2014 9:18AM

    emoticon emoticon

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WATERDIAMONDS 6/26/2014 7:44AM

    These are indeed tremendous NSVs and you deserve accolades for them all. But I especially want to commend you for your attitude: you are moving forward despite this obstacle, and that is key to long-term success.

Well done!



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SHERYLP461 6/26/2014 7:15AM

    Feel better and congratulations on your walk, it is the little things that are such huge accomplishments

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GARDENCHRIS 6/26/2014 6:49AM

    emoticon

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CHERYLHURT 6/26/2014 6:35AM

  emoticon
Stay well!

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SHELTER-PETS 6/26/2014 5:56AM

    emoticon

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DTERESA 6/26/2014 1:17AM

    those are great lessons to be learned! good job on listening to your body emoticon

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ROXYCARIN 6/26/2014 12:21AM

  emoticon

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SCOOTERGIRL777 6/25/2014 10:20PM

    So glad you are home and getting better. You know it takes time to recoup from an illness So I know you;ll listen to your body and a little at a time and you'll be up and back to your old self soon enough. God Bless

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LAVENDERGIRLL 6/25/2014 4:13PM

    Oh my gosh! Feel better soon and remember to take it slow and steady. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SANDRA_E 6/25/2014 3:10PM

    emoticon

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TIME2BLOOM4ME 6/25/2014 11:54AM

    Hugs. Get better soon. Rest up. emoticon

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ONEKIDSMOM 6/25/2014 9:21AM

    Glad you added the p.s. As your strength comes back, your body will allow more. Meantime, pamper that body and give it what it needs! Did they figure out a diagnosis, or are you still a lady in waiting?

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PUPPYWHISPERS 6/25/2014 7:21AM

    I hope you feel better soon! Take it easy, and allow yourself to rest when you need it. emoticon

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CARRIELYN56 6/25/2014 6:48AM

    emoticon

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GRAMPIAN 6/25/2014 5:59AM

  Good luck! emoticon

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BIGDOG18 6/25/2014 4:22AM

  emoticon

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MAMAMOOSE54 6/24/2014 9:12PM

    So sorry to hear you were sick and in the hospital. It really does take something out of you and you need to take things slowly.You have a great attitude and you know what it important-you will do just fine-just give yourself some time.

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REALTYLADYLISA 6/24/2014 8:51PM

    Keep healing! Take one day at a time and you'll be able to do more each day. Sending blessings your way!

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FALCON_MONICAB 6/24/2014 6:21PM

    Sorry to hear you had to be in the hospital. So glad you're better and home! emoticon

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AMANDUH33 6/24/2014 6:05PM

    emoticon

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MILLIE5522 6/24/2014 1:21PM

    emoticon

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RLALLEYN 6/24/2014 1:09PM

    OMG! I'm so glad you are on the mend. You are right to take it slow. Take good care of yourself and emoticon emoticon

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DLALLEYN 6/24/2014 12:49PM

    emoticon Glad you are doing what you can and that you are listening to your body without giving up.

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EZICKZ123 6/24/2014 10:36AM

    emoticon

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LOSER_ZIMM 6/24/2014 9:25AM

    emoticon emoticon

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KMCOOK75 6/24/2014 9:08AM

    emoticon

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FARIS71 6/24/2014 8:34AM

    Wow good for you!!!!! Hope you are on the mend soon!

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TMARIE624 6/24/2014 8:30AM

    Hope your feeling much better!! Recovery does take time and we don't realize that sometimes. I know that first hand. I had part of my colon removed about a year ago and It took me a while to be able to walk far too. I took baby steps and when I was tired and sore I stopped. The best of luck to you!!

Tere emoticon

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AJB121299 6/24/2014 8:29AM

    nice

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Hello! and a false sense of security...

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

I haven't blogged for a while. Life has been crazy. I have been online less and have been tracking less (i know, i know… it's a slippery slope).

But, things are good.

Rehearsing for a series of 9 plays that are each approximately 10 minutes long. (One i am acting in with DH, and another one i am directing. He is also directing one).

So, like I said, DH and I are in a show together. we've had the script for weeks- (5 and a half weeks…). it's only 8 minutes long— (it's short so it won't be a problem, right?!) and we live together so we'll have plenty of time to rehearse (… right?)

IT'S A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY

We thought that because it was small/short that it wouldn't require THAT much time and attention. We thought that we could fit in rehearsing here and there without scheduling it. We thought that because we are in close proximity things would be fairly easy.

WELL, HERE'S THE THING…

It did. We couldn't. and It wasn't.

Yesterday (yes, i said YESTERDAY) we STILL hadn't rehearsed it together. oh we've spent plenty of time listening to our recordings on our own, but we still and done it together outside of our once a week rehearsal (45 minutes) with our director - and even then we only did it ONCE each time… Last night was our OFF BOOK rehearsal, which means doing it without a script/notes. It was SO STRESSFUL. I was freaking out. I was very agitated. Frustrated. Angry. At him and at myself. At US. for not making it a priority. We muddled through last night, had to call "LINE" a few times. And realized we had dug ourselves into a hole. We rehearsed more today. Alone and together. things were finally coming together a bit before rehearsal tonight. We made it through relatively well. Still more work to be done, but i think we are finally headed in the right direction.

So, as i am going on this big ramble,

i am realizing that this also applies to SPARKING.

How so??? well, let me repeat:



We thought that because it was small/short that it wouldn't require THAT much time and attention

—Gee do we ever say that small things don't matter (oh, just a small bite of this, just a small taste of that……) We UNDERESTIMATE what we eat, how much we eat, that we ate at all, and don't really realize that it adds up until it is too late. We forget that it requires TIME and ATTENTION to take care of ourselves.

We thought that we could fit in rehearsing here and there without scheduling it.

—Again, ever try to fit in a workout, a walk, stretching, a bike ride and just find that a million other things seem to make it impossible to do??? We need to MAKE IT A PRIORITY or we will end up scrambling and winding "how did we get here?"

We thought that because we are in close proximity things would be fairly easy.

—No matter how simple something seems, it is almost NEVER easy. ALMOST never easy. almost never EASY. ALMOST NEVER EASY. We fail to realize the inevitable — which is that something is always going to come along and make things more difficult, or at least different that we had planned.

We lull ourselves into a FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY by not having a back up plan for when things don't go as we originally hoped. We find ourselves scrambling.

So, i am sorry for the ramble……. but, i guess i am just trying to say that i need

consistency, focus, and a plan of action for when things go awry.

I hope this makes some sense to someone.

Goodnight, Dear Sparklers. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIME2BLOOM4ME 6/19/2014 10:09AM

    It sounds hectic. emoticon Take time for some calming yoga. Perhaps it will help feed your soul with peace. I hope the plays go well.

Hugs.

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COLOR-BLUE 6/18/2014 11:27AM

    Lori,

Your blog makes perfect sense. It just seems that the simpler we think things are, the more complex they are, and we have a hard time.

You and DH fixed the one problem, with more rehearsals and things are coming together. So go and do your best and get your message across to all who are willing to see and hear.

However, with SP, now that's a different story. I thought at one time, that I would be able to skate by, but it's not the case! It takes true dedication, just as your plays do! The only problem there is, usually you're the only one doing it. Until you're able to get on line and interact with other Sparklers, there's going to be a void and a risk of falling back into old habits. It's crucial to have support of anybody and everybody!

Be blessed,

- Nancy Jean -
GA

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1CRAZYDOG 6/17/2014 11:08PM

    Break a leg with the plays and lessons we learn from life . . . the nard way, eh!

Thanks for your blog. It's TRUE!!

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ALEZHANDRIA 6/17/2014 10:34PM

    Good luck with the plays! emoticon emoticon

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Whew!

Monday, June 02, 2014

very busy day!

1. we had to drop DH's car off for an oil change/service
2. we went to breakfast. NON SCALE VICTORY : I managed to stay wheat free and when I logged when i got home I was still within my ranges!!!!
3. Car's finished- gotta go pick it up. (this car stuff wasn't part of my plan for the day…)
4. Walk 3 miles.
5. Eat lunch.
6. The dreaded dentist appt - root planing! (Ummm, Yeah, OWWW)
7. Go to Mom's to mow the lawn and finish some yard work
8. Home to shower
9. Go to the directors' meeting so we can see the space in which we will be putting on the show.
10. Home for dinner (it had been WAY WAY WAY too long since I had eaten. 7 hours! YIKES!)
11. Walk #2 − 2 miles.
12. and (I ALMOST FORGOT!!!) Go feed (and corral) my friends cats (which is a challenge…)
13. Send emails about FATV snippets.
14. Do my "new" nightly dental routine… add 5 more minutes on….
15. GO TO BED. AHHH.

Goodnight, Sparklers emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COLOR-BLUE 6/14/2014 6:24PM

    Lori,

You accomplished so much in what little time you had. My hat's off to you for planning and having everything done in a timely manner!!! Sleep well!!!

Be blessed,

- Nancy Jean -
GA

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ALEZHANDRIA 6/2/2014 11:11PM

    Quite the list! Kudos on getting the oil change off your list and staying wheat free. I hope you rest well, thanks for the support. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 6/2/2014 10:06PM

    Hope you get a good rest tonight!

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june goals - stream of consciousness

Sunday, June 01, 2014

haha, when i wrote stream of consciousness in the title i typo-d STREAK of consciousness!
that could be a whole other blog…..

sometimes it's just good for me to write things out without thinking too much because then i get mired down,,, so here goes!

June Goals:

~ finish staining box for Joyce
~ continue with gluten free as long as possible
~ begin hooping again - try learning something new
~ Jeep care - clean it (DH spilled shrimp stock in it — EWWWWW), get the oil changed
~ begin fundraising for the Step Out Walk to Stop Diabetes
~ assemble and paint mom's swing
~ put up mom's new mailbox
~ work on strength training
~ work on flexibility
~ take 1/2 an hour weekly to weed out junk. (start small, right?!)
~ BALANCE CHECKBOOK

OK, so some of these are one time things that have been on my plate for a long time and once they are done, they are done (well, the checkbook will still need to be done regularly) and some are for consistency.

I am hoping that by stating some of these goals in writing to you all, that i will be motivated to actually get some of them done. It would be awesome to go into July with some (or all) of these things finished (or in progress).

Goodnight, Sparklers emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIME2BLOOM4ME 6/19/2014 10:10AM

    Great goals. emoticon

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COLOR-BLUE 6/2/2014 2:10PM

    Lori,

It's good to write down the goals that you want to accomplish for the month, and I need to do what you're doing. I've written down my goals for my fitness and exercising, etc., but I didn't write down any goals to get things accomplished in my home and other areas of my life. Thanks for letting me know that I need to do that also!

Be blessed,

- Nancy Jean -
GA

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1CRAZYDOG 6/2/2014 9:14AM

    Good luck!

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freaking out

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

OK, I am pretty freaked out.

I went to my annual eye dr appt. Standard procedure is to dilate so he can check for diabetes issues- so, in years past i have been told i have the early early early stages of cataracts - but it wasn't a worry for the doc or for me… well, today, i have so much narrowing that he "wasn't willing to take the risk of dilating my eyes because it could result in spontaneous glaucoma" — and now i have to go back - have laser surgery (which is only scheduled once a month) on one eye to release the pressure, go back a week later to have it checked, if i take to it well, then i have to go back a month later to have the laser done on the other eye, and then back a week later to have it checked… and THEN, i can have the dilation test that i was supposed to have today. This will drag on for months.

i am so upset i don't know what to do with myself.

But, i didn't turn to food- i wanted to. i even stopped at the store and had something in my hands. i put it back on the shelf and walked out of the store.

now i have to be even more diligent so my blood sugars don't get out of control. This just really stinks so bad. i feel like i was getting a handle on things a bit and now this happens to throw me off.

i am scared.

goodnight sparklers emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TINIERTINA 6/1/2014 11:17AM

    Best of luck to you ... hope you heal soon.

Wow, that sounds scary; but it should come out well if you follow treatment plans.

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COLOR-BLUE 5/30/2014 10:35PM

    This is the final piece of the puzzle, that I sent to my Sunday School class.

I didn’t get to read one of my devotionals until this morning, and it was right on time for me. Below you’ll see what I read, along with the scriptures. I’m passing this on, as everyone in the Becomers class, along with other people that I know, need to understand exactly where I’m coming from concerning this heart issue.

This devotional is taken from Daily Guideposts

“I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all.” Philippians 1:3 – 4 (NAS)

My sister-in-law had lost her brother and father close together and suddenly. Now, only months later, her mother was recovering from serious cancer surgery, wondering whether to try chemo pills in her eighties. The family seemed inundated with grief.

Thirteen of us agreed to pray each Tuesday. I emailed a weekly “Remember!” letter that included an array of both immediate and ongoing family prayer needs. I added a brief meditation, along with a Bible verse.

From Alaska to Colorado to Washington, DC, from Minnesota to California, we prayed for one another as one voice. Amazing things happened! The cancer patient did exceptionally well with chemotherapy, astounding her doctors, and remains cancer free. Our son-law, leaving a communications company to begin studying veterinary medicine, received an unusual and generous severance package.

Our son and daughter-in-law, unable to afford to finish shipping their personal goods long distance to their new residence, cringed as the storage fees accrued. When the freighting agent finally decided to auction their things, he saw their wedding photo – packed on top of at the last minute. He contacted them, saying it “broke his heart” and he was waiving all fees. They were able to complete the shipping.

Not only did we see God’s magnificent answers in our prayers for one another, we also drew closer a a family. Ask us our favorite day of the week; it’s Tuesday!

“Listening Father, You are a God Who responds to heartfelt prayer seven days a week.” - Carol Knapp

Digging Deeper: Mt 18:19 – 20 Jas 5:16

This devotional reminded me how God is still in the blessing and healing business. He wants the best for His children, ME, and nothing more or less. This devotional also reminded me the importance of having other Saints standing in agreement with me, but I need to communicate to you, what it is that I’m praying for.

Obviously I want God to heal what is going on with my heart, but there may be underlying circumstances that I’m not aware of that is causing this bump in the road. So, when you pray for me, ask God to reveal to the doctors exactly what is causing my heart to skip a beat, and to rectify the imbalance in my body, by having it made known to them exactly what is going on throughout His Temple. Please ask God for a name of what is going on, so that we may call it out loud, and address it face to face.

I’m standing on Matthew 18:19 – 20 throughout this ordeal! God is good all the time. And, all the time God is good. I know He has my best interests at heart and He also has my back!

Thank you and be blessed,

- Nancy Jean -

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COLOR-BLUE 5/30/2014 10:30PM

    Lori,

Here is the actual email I sent to my Sunday School class, explaining what had happened at my cardiologist's office:

I saw Dr. Chuk today, and informed him of what the RN at Curves had confirmed to me. He told me that my EKG was good and I was clear when he was listening to me. He asked me how I felt when my heart skips the beat and (I gave him an audible sound), since you’re not able to hear what I said it’s a flutter in my chest. He acknowledged that it happens. But I also told him there are times when it happens that I have to sit down, or fall down from passing out. He told me that he would have to try and get rid of that feeling for me. In the mean time, I’ll be going to Macon, tomorrow, and get a heart monitor to wear for a month. I’ll be having blood work done on Thursday, and he said that if my heart skips, that he would be notified immediately. So, we’re playing the waiting to see if it happens again, game. I made sure to ask him if I could continue my regular routine and he assured me that I could. I don’t really feel bad, except when I have to sit down, as it kind of takes the wind out of my sails. Just please keep me in your prayers and we’ll see what God has in store for me next. I know who I am in Christ, and I know that God is my all in all, but my physical self is angry that another mountain has been placed before me. However, I’ll do just like I did all the others and speak to it, and it will either crumble, where I can step over it, or it will move entirely out of the way. I know that when I am weak God is strong, and I’m anxious, in a good way, to find out just what he wants me to learn from this experience to pass on to others. Bring it on God, because it’s all for YOUR GLORY!!!!

I'll post one more segment, as you'll then have my whole picture of what's happened to me and between God and me!

Be blessed,

- Nancy Jean -
GA


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COLOR-BLUE 5/30/2014 9:52PM

    Lori,

I know that the physical man is scared, but that's not what God gave us. He didn't give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, a spirit of love, and a sound mind.

Lori, something happened to me this week that put me in the same boat as you, for awhile. You see, God brought me through a horrid car wreck, where I spent 6 months in the hospital. I had to learn how to take care of myself all over again, like a baby and I had to learn how to walk again. It wasn't an easy task, but God and I worked it together, and by His Grace, I'm up and walking when everybody, including my surgeon, said that I would be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life, and maybe on a walker. Well, I have neither device, but it's still hard, as I just received news from my Curves trainer, an RN, that my heart is skipping a beat when I workout at Curves. It literally takes the wind out of my sails, when it does that .

At any rate, I shouted at God, asking Him what now, God. I've done everything you've asked me to do, or told me to do! It took so long to recooperate from the wreck, and even now you're still tweaking your Temple, to make sure that it's as perfect as You can get it on this earth. Now God, you have my heart skipping a bet! What now God, what now!!! It was about that time, that instead of all the whys coming out of my mouth, I was stating the following: God, You're the lifter of my head, You're my beginning and my end, You're my bright and morning star, You're my healer, You're my wisdom, You're my teacher, and You're my all in all. Okay, God, I don't know what you want me to learn from this experience, or what I can pass on to others, so all I have to say is BRING IT ON GOD!!! IT'S ALL FOR YOUR GLORY!!!

Take heart in knowing that the Author and Finisher of life, is walking right there with you, and so am I! Don't let the evil one have one bit of acknowledgement from you and your circumstance. Just keep looking to GOD!!

Be blessed,

- Nancy Jean -
GA

Comment edited on: 5/30/2014 10:21:56 PM

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1CRAZYDOG 5/29/2014 10:04AM

    HUGS and prayers. Good luck. So sorry!

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IOEINC 5/29/2014 8:04AM

    Good luck!!! I will be thinking of you and praying and sending positive vibes!!

emoticon

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