Friday, November 18, 2011
My daughter and her two kids met me at the mall yesterday. I got a bonus walk in by going around the mall shopping with her. The stores she wanted to go to were spread out so we actually did some good walking. Wish I had a pedometer so I could see how many steps we took.
She really boosted my day by telling me I looked great! She said the changes are noticeable to her. I was definitely encouraged.
I've had a few weeks of depression, which hasn't lifted completely, but the past two days I have felt some relief.
First, I got that phone call from my son in Hawaii. He encouraged me to look forward to the part of the day that I'm the least depressed, and not dwell on how depressed I feel otherwise. My afternoons are the best part of the day for me. It was just so kind the way he was advising me and trying to help me feel better. He usually calls and talks to my hubby, but this time he called just to talk to me. That was encouraging.
I also got a call from my daughter who lives in Asheville. She and I had a long talk and I was able to advise her on some issues. That also felt good, because she was open to my advice. I wonder if just being more involved in my grown children's lives is something I've been lacking over the past weeks.
I've been so busy trying to exercise whenever I have free time, and getting on this site for an hour a day, that I'm withdrawing from people. Swimming is a solo exercise, unless I do water aerobics, which doesn't fit into my schedule. I like to walk alone it's hard to find someone who will walk my pace. I use the time to call either my mom and dad or my mother-in-law. But it's hard to talk, since I'm breathless from walking. Being on SP actually helps because i'm connection with others. Maybe it's just family connection I'm missing.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
I struggle with being a coward.
I really have a lot of faith, yet the only way I exhibit it is through prayer and encouraging and loving others. I fall short when it comes to verbally expressing my love for God and giving him credit for all he's doing in my life.
I'm here to set it straight.
I've had an awesome 3 months with SparkPeople. He has put it on the hearts of others to encourage me along the way. He has given me the drive and the strength to work toward my goals. He is my source of life. He grants me success.
Give credit where credit is due.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
I don't know how or when it happened, but I have (probably gradually) decreased my intake of sweets, diet soda, and fast food.
I know at one point I started carrying healthy snacks with me whenever I was going to be out of the house for any period of time, so I'm less likely to pull over for a burger and fries.
I never laid down the law with myself and denied myself sweets, soda or fast food, but with tracking my food I became conscious of the nutrient content (mostly fats, carbs and protein) of the foods I eat and began consuming the healthier alternatives.If I ate all the junk food I was doing before, I would use up all my calories and not achieve my goals for protein and carbs. Since I previously didn't eat enough carbs, I added in whole grains and fruits. I wasn't consuming much protein, but added soy milk and low-fat cheese, greek yogurt and protein shakes.
The one thing I made a conscious decision to add was the 8+ cups of water, which changed what I drink...I'm not so thirsty so I don't constantly grab a diet mountain dew to quench my thirst. I used to hate water but now I find it refreshing.
I still don't deny myself a goodie now and then, I feel denial only causes me to binge. I haven't had a single binge in the 16 weeks with SparkPeople; just jotting that down opens my eyes to a wonderful change that has happened! Yay!
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Dieting has always been a trial for me. I normally would feel tired from not eating much and also from exercising without enough calories to energize me for a work out. I not only would feel tired, but I would also feel emotional. Well, crabby is a word for it. I would also be easily angered.
But SP has taught me a lot. I'm not dieting with calorie restriction. I'm eating more than I ever have while trying to lose weight. in consuming more calories, I can include more foods that my body needs. I'm learning to have a balance with carbs, fats, protein, etc. And I am choosing good carbs, good fats and healthy proteins. These are lifestyle changes, not diet techniques.
Best of all, with the way I'm actually allowing myself more calories, I'm finding that I have so much more energy! I'm almost always feeling "up" and I'm not crabby or irritable. Im a much nicer person. I feel good about myself and the more I treat my body well, I feel better and better about myself.
Sure, this is not a crash diet and I'm not losing more than a half a pound a week, but I am losing weight. I just marvel that I can eat up to 1850 calories a day and still lose weight. (I usually would limit myself to 1100 calories when dieting)
And currently I average 45 minutes of exercise a day. That's not much, but it's all I can find time for at this point. I don't plan to start doing hours of exercise a day in order to lose quicker. The way I see it I don't want to start something that won't be sustainable after I have lost the weight and need to maintain my weight.
So, I am excited that I discovered SP! It has changed the way I look at food and exercise. I'm learning to set goals and have vision for myself and my future.
I started this all in late July, and my back was not in great condition. I'd had surgery on a disc less than a year ago and was still having problems with nerve damage from the pressure of the herniated disc on my sciatic nerve. The damage caused me numbness and weakness in my foot, causing a slight foot-drop. Back pain kept me from walking at first. So I started with swimming. After a few weeks I could start walking just a little. But with gradually walking longer periods my strength is coming back. I started out walking 10 minutes at a time, then worked up to longer periods. . . now I can walk for 75 minutes without my foot being fatigued! This happened over the last three months. I've also received chiropractic help over these last three months, which has given me relief from back pain. I also do back strengthening exercises and stretches. My chiropractor does P90X and always gives me appropriate exercises that won't injure my back.
I've got so much to be thankful for. I appreciate the support of the SP community and the education the site provides. I look forward to continuing to growing with my new found family of Sparkers.
Friday, November 11, 2011
When I was a teenager I was very insecure about my body as many of us were. But I had grown to be tallest in my class in 4th grade, and got large breasts at that time too. I stayed 5'3 for the rest of my life, so gradually I was one of the shortest. But while I was tall, and curvy, I wasn't really overweight. Maybe 120 Lbs. My best friend was actually a petite, actually anorexic looking girl though at that age and in those days, anorexia wasn't a topic of discussion, I don't even know if that was the term for it yet. I took my cues from looking at her and thinking I should be littler like her, weight-wise. I dreamed of legs as skinny as hers. I was a tomboy and very muscular, so that wasn't a reality I could attain. But I was a kid and didn't know better.
We were friends till one day another friend of hers came over to me in the playground (in 6th grade) and told me I couldn't hang out with their group. Of course they were the "in crowd". I spent all the rest of my years in school insecure and devastated. I tried wearing different clothes, maybe that was what was wrong with me, but no, that didn't help. I also tried losing weight. Even for a year I became anorexic, but that didn't help. Thank goodness that faze didn't last. I just needed someone to tell me I was ok the way I was. But I didn't ask anyone for that and I also didn't know that's what I needed.
After years of being married, I finally started asking for approval from my hubby, who wasn't verbal about liking my looks or my body. But the insecurity was around for many more years. Too much damage was done. I constantly compared myself to other women. I still do, but I am gaining confidence and offer myself more approval lately.
I now now confidence doesn't have to be about weight or body size. I am proud of who I am becoming, more and more each day!
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