Monday, October 07, 2013
A little sad today that we are not on our way to Hawaii as planned. We will reschedule for the beginning of November. This time without my MIL. Hubby told her that we will try to take her with us in the Spring if she feels up to it by then.
Since my MIL got home on Thursday, she hasn't made any noticeable progress, but her Speech Therapist is seeing her for the first time this afternoon. Over the phone I told the nurse who is also coming, to give suggestions on helping her figure out more foods to eat. Her appetite is so low, and she can't tolerate eating anything with texture. Her swallowing isn't working very well. So she has lost 6 pounds in a week. Her daughter who is staying with her didn't realize this and hasn't been pushing her to eat enough. So while I was with her today for 4 hours I made sure she ate something twice.
Saturday afternoon was rough on me. I'd had a note from my mom, and I reacted negatively emotionally to it and after having just eaten supper, I added three pieces of cold pizza and a third of a family size box of Oreos. I knew I was letting mom get to me. I just went with the feelings and ate. The next morning I woke up feeling irritable. Hubby took me for a walk, and I grumbled while walking. Usually my mood will change from the exercise, but it didn't. When we got home, he offered to drive us to the beach. Kind of a substitute trip to the Atlantic for having to cancel our trip to the Pacific. It was a 4.5 hour drive there, we walked for an hour, and drove back, 4.5 more hours. My mood was much better from the time we got on the road going there. Hubby is so intuitive...he knows me well.
Today has been a positive day.Though I haven't exercised...yet. But I have calories under control. It's date night and hubby will let me pick what I feel is a healthy choice for an eatery. Maybe we'll go walk a couple of miles at the mall after eating.
On Friday, when I bought the new medicine, I read on the pamphlet about side effects. MAY CAUSE WEIGHT GAIN. Ooooh Noooo! This surfaced all my deep-seated fears about gaining back the 75 pounds I lost. The 75 was gained due to a med similar to this one. I had constant hunger and lethargy, which led to, you got it, lack of exercise and increased calories. I researched things on Safari about this medicine. Many people talked about out of control hunger and lethargy. There was even a report about the way this medicine causes alterations to body chemistry resulting in slower metabolism. No wonder I gained those 75 pounds in two years. After looking into this, I called my Dr's office, left a message for him about how I felt and what I'd read. He responded with "That's why I weighed you at your appointment" he had. Also he said, "If we start seeing weight gain, though we probably won't, we will do something different." I'm hoping he's right that it probably won't effect me that way. I think if I get lethargic, like the reports by others mentioned, I will really have a hard time being motivated to exercise. I'm not even motivated right now, though that is probably due to the depression. My next weigh in by him will be in two months. Long enough to be too long, in my book. I will weigh myself. If I see a trend, especially if I'm doing well with eating and exercising, I am not going to wait two months to blow the whistle! Last night I took the first pill, and set my mind that I'd do my best to maintain, and not worry about losing weight at this point. I'm hopeful.
Thanks for all you do and say to encourage me. You all are priceless, in my book!
Monday, September 30, 2013
I started a blog, but there was an emergency in my family, so by tonight when I got back to it, the computer deleted it. I hadn't started it on Word like I had been, so It was lost. I have to change what I was blogging about anyway.
My mother-in-law had a stroke! We were planning on taking her to Hawaii a week from today. She had noticed some drooling yesterday, never said anything. Then she woke up and saw that her lip was drooping. She still told no one. (she lives alone, a half hour away from me)This morning I tried to call her. Unusual for me to call her two days in a row, but I happened to think of her, I was going to talk to her about my concerns about the skin cancer surgery my dad was going through this morning. She didn't answer, but an hour later returned my call. When she tried to talk, all that came out were garbled words--I immediately recognized it as her having had a stroke. Adrenaline surged and I told her to unlock her door if she could, and I was going to hang up and call 911. I had to give them permission to break in if necessary. I met her at the hospital after calling my hubby and taking several deep breaths so I could drive safely.
Turns out the preliminary CT scan reveals several strokes. But the only one causing any symptoms is the one effecting speech and swallowing center of the brain. No other physical problems. She is in great spirits. She is impatient with herself for not being able to get her words out, but she has a great sense of humor and is laughing at herself. More tests tomorrow.
Hubby says we bought insurance for the trip, so we'll be able to change plans. He is so sure she'll be able to go soon. I'm more pessimistic and think he and I should just go ahead and go so I can meet Bjørn. He wants to believe she'll be fine in a week to go! I don't think he has a hold of reality. His sister came from out of town to be with her. There is another sister who can come help too. So it wouldn't be a problem if we went, and I even think she wouldn't want us to hold off on our plans. But it's hard for her to express herself and i don't want to put words in her mouth
Today when I prepared to leave the house to go to the ER, I grabbed something to drink and two protein bars that I figured would have to do for lunch, since it was 11:30 when I left the house. I didn't get to eat again until 6. Had a Quizno's sandwich with hubby and my pregnant daughter who also showed up to cheer up gramma. Came home and I was still hungry so I made a bowl of oatmeal, raisins and blueberries. And a cookie for good measure.
Keep Mom in your prayers. If you remember my friend George (95) who died recently, he died from complications from having swallowing problems and aspiration pneumonia that originated with strokes. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
As you know I've been having a bit of an "off" week.
After 56 days being binge free, I had a binge day yesterday! I have been so restricted to eating only soft food because of my canker sore, that the restriction brought out old emotions in me (on top of all the junk I've been wrestling with anyway) and I gave in to eating more than I should have. It actually may have not been as bad as I imagine, since I didn't record the food I ate all day, but certainly I was in a binge mindset.
I feel better mentally today. I have decided I will not restrict today and try to eat normally. I won't shy away from everything, like I have been. Of course nuts, chips and spicy, acid foods don't even appeal to me. I don't want the pain! This sore has to heal soon. It's been almost a week. I was offered a medicine to make it resolve quicker, but it cost $50 and I decided time is a good inexpensive healer. OraGel actually gives temporary relief, even though it smarts to apply it! I don't wish a sore on the side of the tongue on anyone! I've even had achiness and the feeling I was fighting an infection!
The 4 and 2 year old grandchildren are here, they stayed overnight. It has been wonderful. They are so special! Nice that no one is having any cold or illness this weekend. That is unusual.
It's nice to have my mind clearer and the depressive type fog is lifted. Maybe with all my SparkFriends' support and having good talks with my MIL and Hubby (also getting advice from the sage 91 year old woman I take care of), who all remind me that my mother has to deal with her own emotions about my leaving, I see it's not up to me to make her secure.
Thanks again for all your support!
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