Sunday, September 15, 2013
Whew! Yesterday was a big day! I was semi prepared for it, but there were a few twists and turns so by the end of the day the culmination of stressors had me mentally reaching for food. But good sense ruled and I went to bed a little over in calories, but not partaking in any binges.
This is what I saw out the window while Sparking before my big day began:
Started out by driving mom to the Quilt Show that she had to work at. It's part of the Fall Festival. They hold a raffle for 3 prizes. I hope I get the big fall colored quilt. These pics are of my mom and niece giving a demo. And a quilt Mom made and has designated as one she is going to give me. It's over 100 inches by 100 inches!
Having plenty of time before the parade, I went to my favorite bakery and had my favorite donuts and coffee. The baker has a nice norwegian accent. I love it. It's a norwegian, swedish, german town, where I was born. While I was standing on the parade route before it began, my SIL and nephew showed up. She talked the whole parade, making it hard to enjoy the action, but I managed to get photos for my grandchildren to see. First photo is of the chairs lined up for blocks, since early in the morning, holding places for people.
After the parade i went to collect mom and take her home. My SIL waited in town for me to get back. I had my lunch when I got there. My planned brat, though I ended up passing on the beer. SIL and three kids came back to the woods and made a healthy meal. But I really wanted peace and quiet. Not grateful, though I felt I should've been more interested in them. I just don't feel close to them, and the stress and anger had me tempted to binge. But thinking about not wanting to end my binge-free streak of 45 days, I opted to not eat more. Success!
I only pray that I don't have delayed reactions and want to blow off steam these following days causing me to reach for food. I hope to heaven that I will just remain peaceful and content.
Thank you for bearing with me on reading my long blog. I just needed to vent and share with all you, my true friends what my stressful day was like. I'd really looked forward to the day, but felt disappointed. I'm working on seeing the good in all of it. Getting lots of hugs from my very special daddy!
Love you all!
Friday, September 13, 2013
I am waking up to a chilly start here in Wisconsin! At 6:30 i checked the temp outside...38 degrees! No heat in the three season porch where I slept last night. All windows! To top it off I slept with the ceiling fan on, to help with hot flashes. I had on a summer weight quilt and summer nightgown. BRR. It's been high 80s and low 90s up till the day I left NC. Even here it's been quite warm. I did not really come with warm clothes, even though I know it's a chilly time of year here usually. I'm sure it will be 70 out later today. I packed light, only a carry on and backpack. For a 2 week stay. And half of my suitcase was filled with things I brought for my mom. She said it was like an early Christmas.
The sun is just now peeking through the trees; beautiful. The leaves aren't changing yet. Last night at dusk, outside my parents' window I spotted a family of deer. A buck, doe and 2 young deer. It was beautiful. What a nice welcome to the woods.
Yesterday, my travel day, I ate my usual breakfast. I was to fly over the lunch hour, so I packed a sandwich on a bagel. That was very satisfying. . .gave me something to chew. I knew my dad would take me to the A&W before heading to the house. (I take a regional shuttle from the Twin Cities to a small town, a 45 minute ride, where it drops me off at a hotel parking lot. That's where Dad picks me up, and we have another 45 minute ride to the house) The Root Beer Stand is across the road from where he picks me up, so we HAVE to go there. It's our ritual. Ahead of time I checked out a nutrition menu and decided what I would have that would allow me to also eat whatever they wanted for supper. I got a medium float with diet root beer. only 170 calories!
I didn't snack later, but I really should have. I usually eat at 5 at home, but my parents don't eat until 6. That adds up to a two hour delay for my meal. To top it off they delayed their meal and I didn't get to eat until 6:45, their time. Which meant 2 hours and 45 minutes late for my hunger signals. Now, if I were at home with hubby, I'd be cranky. But I kept myself calm and patient and realized I would really enjoy my food. They wanted to get Mc Donald's! Oh dear! I got on the nutrition chart for Mc D's and decided on the perfect amount of calorie sandwich, and allowed room to snack on a few of their fries. Just a few! But a few was better than trying to suffer and smell theirs and drool. I never eat fries. And of course, they aren't as good as all that anyway.
I stayed within range! We'd gotten take out, and ate it at home. After the meal they ate apple pie cake mom had just taken out of the oven when I walked in the door. I know she made it for me. But I didn't sample it when it was hot. And when they had some after Mc D's, I didn't have any. I was determined to stay within range. Fortunately, it doesn't look all that good. (There was a time not so long ago, that I'd try anything home baked, no matter how it looked. And I would've tried it out of a feeling of obligation.) I don't want to feel coerced into having some.
One thing great is that Mom asked me if I'd lost weight since she last saw me in April. I had lost 6 pounds and firmed up my belly lately. I think that helped her not to push for me to eat her treat. Over the last few years, my dad always apologizes and tries to be sure they aren't tempting me to "go off my diet" That's really sweet of him. They know I'm always working on it.
There is a Fall Festival in town, parade included. I'm going to my mom's quilt guild Quilt Show tomorrow. I think I'll stay away from Festival Food, though I may visit the beer garden and have beer and a brat. I'm in Wisconsin after all! I will include it in my food budget. I'm determined not to gain weight this trip. I lost a pound last time here.
Well, I just wanted to check in. I got to bed before 9 here with the time difference. That's late for me! So I'm awake way before them. That gives me lots of time to Spark. I've been up for 3 hours already and it's only 8:30!
Wish I got a picture of the deer for you!
Monday, September 09, 2013
My binge-free streak continues on, in spite of having a day with a little bit of a battle keeping out of the kitchen yesterday. I stayed at the low end of my calorie allowance anyway. But the afternoon was one of a feeling of just not quite feeling content.
I don't imagine it was anything about being content with foods I ate for the day, but with feeling happy with myself. No obvious reason. Just a blah feeling. No motivation to do anything. Hubby even offered to take me canoeing which I've asked him to do with me soon. It never seems to fit in. We haven't gone in years. But I said no! How ridiculous! Here I am, sulking around, and he offers (though he was in the middle of working in the yard landscaping, and I knew he'd really rather keep doing that, but would make a sacrifice for me). Today I look back and see what a big mistake I made in saying no. It would've been a really special time, especially since we will be apart for two weeks starting Thursday. I am kicking myself today! But I have to make the best of the last three days, and not beat myself up for this. LIving in regret will only distract me from making the most of this time we have. I've concluded that on the weekend I was living in the future, not able to live in the moment, thinking only how I couldn't wait for getting on the plane and finally being with my parents. This morning I came to that realization and made up my mind to enjoy each day and each moment leading up to my trip.
I have planned to make him a batch of favorite cookies to put in the freezer for him, like I did last time. He really enjoyed that. He is so good at eating two a day and not eating the whole batch, like I used to do. He can take out a couple at a time and they'll stay fresh. I'm also going to make him a pan of stuffed shells. Something easy to reheat in the microwave for a few nights. He could even have our son over for a meal. Hubby will do fine fending for himself while I'm away. I just want him to know I was thinking about him and wanted to leave him something special. (I never cook, so I know he'll appreciate the effort. My shells are really good, and I'll miss out! Maybe I can make a pan of them for my parents, too!)
We both have Macs, so we can do FaceTime. That helps me not feel so lonely for him. I started packing on Saturday. I had to decide between just using carry on, or my huge monster of a suitcase. Seems my small one will be perfect. Last time I brought a pair of my larger pants, so I'd be comfortable if I gained weight! I am NOT doing that this time. I am planning on sticking with my plan!
Any ideas for things I could do to make my time special with hubby the next three evenings? Tonight is date night anyway. We are going to Cracker Barrel. Maybe a walk at the Mall? If we go straight home after eating, he will just want to go out in the yard. We could watch a movie. We don't have cable, but we do have AppleTV. That is the extent of fun things we do together. We are not very creative with our times together. He is a quiet kind of guy. Now if it were up to me, we'd go dancing! Haha! Now you can see why I wish I'd said yes to canoeing!
On a happy note, I did get busy bustling around the house cleaning. Got the island in the kitchen cleaned off. My end table in the kitchen straightened up. Lists made for the trip and for things to do before going. Tackled a few of those things, too. Felt better after doing those things. Lots planned for today. Here I go!
Wednesday, September 04, 2013
Eight days till I take my trip to see my parents in Wisconsin. Iím hoping for some pretty leaves. Iíll be sure to include a photo or two if I can get some good shots.
For once, Iím not stressing about the food Iíll be exposed to there. I am in control of what I put in my mouth. No one is forcing me to eat useless calories. I will be able to stay in my calorie range. Iím really hopeful about that. I will not let myself eat out of stress or boredom. I will allow one day each week Iím there to have some extra calories in my day. Iíve decided that if I want to bake anything, I can make rice krispie bars, or angel food cake. These I know I wonít go crazy with. Nothing gooey and chocolatey, which I have a weakness for!
I know I can get some exercise. Iíll miss my new bike, but Dad has an elliptical, and I will bring my computer so I can do videos if I want.
Today is day 34 of my binge-free streak. Speaking of streaks, Iím having my longest streak in NOT getting ST twice per week! I really want to rectify that! It seems so easy to get it done once I set my timer and get down on the floor and do my 60 push-ups, which leads easily into my minute long plank, which leads to my bicycle crunches, bench dips, bicep curls with squats, and on it goes! I have no problem once I start my timer, but I resist doing this. I do not know what my block is. Sometimes, I use the excuse that I donít want to get all sweaty. That is actually my consistent excuse! Once I do it, I decide I want to do it again tomorrow. The next day I am sore, so I rationalize needing to let my muscles recover. The next day Iím sore still, so I remember hearing that itís ok to wait two days in between workouts (ST). But on the third day, I am no longer motivated. Then a week passes and I decide, I better get this week off to a good start! So Iím getting one good ST workout a week. I do have a long streak doing that, but I donít track once a week streaks of ST.
Some people schedule their workouts as appointments they must keep with themselves. Iíve never tried this; I like to wing it. I know, thatís probably my problem! I just need to get serious about this. My main motivation for ST is to strengthen myself to arm against osteoporosis. What motivates you to keep up with your ST workouts?
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