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LORILEEPAGE's Recent Blog Entries

I Missed a Great Opportunity!

Monday, September 09, 2013

My binge-free streak continues on, in spite of having a day with a little bit of a battle keeping out of the kitchen yesterday. I stayed at the low end of my calorie allowance anyway. But the afternoon was one of a feeling of just not quite feeling content.

I don't imagine it was anything about being content with foods I ate for the day, but with feeling happy with myself. No obvious reason. Just a blah feeling. No motivation to do anything. Hubby even offered to take me canoeing which I've asked him to do with me soon. It never seems to fit in. We haven't gone in years. But I said no! How ridiculous! Here I am, sulking around, and he offers (though he was in the middle of working in the yard landscaping, and I knew he'd really rather keep doing that, but would make a sacrifice for me). Today I look back and see what a big mistake I made in saying no. It would've been a really special time, especially since we will be apart for two weeks starting Thursday. I am kicking myself today! But I have to make the best of the last three days, and not beat myself up for this. LIving in regret will only distract me from making the most of this time we have. I've concluded that on the weekend I was living in the future, not able to live in the moment, thinking only how I couldn't wait for getting on the plane and finally being with my parents. This morning I came to that realization and made up my mind to enjoy each day and each moment leading up to my trip.

I have planned to make him a batch of favorite cookies to put in the freezer for him, like I did last time. He really enjoyed that. He is so good at eating two a day and not eating the whole batch, like I used to do. He can take out a couple at a time and they'll stay fresh. I'm also going to make him a pan of stuffed shells. Something easy to reheat in the microwave for a few nights. He could even have our son over for a meal. Hubby will do fine fending for himself while I'm away. I just want him to know I was thinking about him and wanted to leave him something special. (I never cook, so I know he'll appreciate the effort. My shells are really good, and I'll miss out! Maybe I can make a pan of them for my parents, too!)

We both have Macs, so we can do FaceTime. That helps me not feel so lonely for him. I started packing on Saturday. I had to decide between just using carry on, or my huge monster of a suitcase. Seems my small one will be perfect. Last time I brought a pair of my larger pants, so I'd be comfortable if I gained weight! I am NOT doing that this time. I am planning on sticking with my plan!

Any ideas for things I could do to make my time special with hubby the next three evenings? Tonight is date night anyway. We are going to Cracker Barrel. Maybe a walk at the Mall? If we go straight home after eating, he will just want to go out in the yard. We could watch a movie. We don't have cable, but we do have AppleTV. That is the extent of fun things we do together. We are not very creative with our times together. He is a quiet kind of guy. Now if it were up to me, we'd go dancing! Haha! Now you can see why I wish I'd said yes to canoeing!

On a happy note, I did get busy bustling around the house cleaning. Got the island in the kitchen cleaned off. My end table in the kitchen straightened up. Lists made for the trip and for things to do before going. Tackled a few of those things, too. Felt better after doing those things. Lots planned for today. Here I go!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KANOE10 9/10/2013 7:26AM

    Great job on staying binge free. Hope you enjoy your time with your husband before you leave. Have a great vacation.

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LINDA! 9/9/2013 11:36PM

    Keep up the great work. emoticon

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LARISSA238 9/9/2013 9:40PM

    I hope you have a good time on your vacation! I know it's hard to leave your DH alone for a couple weeks. I go to see my mom every now and then and I miss him so much. We have Skype, so we can talk face to face. As for doing special things, going for walks, watching movies, reading funny stories together, and just going to dinner and talking for hours is fun. Geo and I used to have our dates at Taco Bell when I was on unemployment. We would sit there for a couple hours and just talk. It was so nice to spend so much time with him. The people that worked there knew us too, it was so nice. They would know what we were getting and I didn't have to remind them of special orders (no rice in burritos). *hugs* Have fun!

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ANGGEL40 9/9/2013 8:42PM

    Awww,,you are so sweet..nothing like love for your hubby..I hope you enjoy your date night..oh, how about taking a walk together or just sitting outside at night looking at the stars..either way enjoy your hubby! Thanks for sharing

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_JODI404 9/9/2013 5:57PM

    emoticon on your continuing binge free streak -- that is awesome!!

Sounds like you have some thoughtful ideas for hubby in advance of being away -- I'm sure he will appreciate your baking & cooking efforts.

Is it a possibility to canoe on one of these 3 days?

I hope you have a wonderful trip & FaceTime will definitely be wonderful for not missing hubby so much!


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POPSY190 9/9/2013 2:57PM

    Great blog! I always get a bit down when getting ready to go away, even when I'm looking forward to it! I think you have thought it all through well; now just enjoy the next few days with DH.

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GYMRAT_AT44 9/9/2013 11:19AM

    Cooking together is always fun - especially grilling outside.

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SHERIO5 9/9/2013 10:16AM

    We all have blah days!

I like that you are making the effort now to enjoy each other's company. My husband and I are a lot like you and your husband...same ole same ole! My husband really appreciates back rubs, so that might be an idea. Sometimes I try a new recipe, or get cheeses for us to try together. I plan the portions so it fits, but just doing something new together is fun. A new board game to play?

Have fun with this! Your husband is a lucky guy!

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KELLIEBEAN 9/9/2013 9:38AM

    I understand how you feel. You guys sound a lot like me and my husband. Make the most of the next three days. Game night and movie night sounds like good ideas.

Nothing beats a good hug, lots of hugs!

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MIMIDOT 9/9/2013 9:12AM

    Enjoyed your blog. You are doing great! Keep up the good work.

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KNYAGENYA 9/9/2013 9:11AM

    Look at you go! You guys can go on a nature walk, rent movies from the library, have a cooking night together, or a board game night. Maybe you can write him letters for each day that you are gone and he can read each day. Congrats on being binge free.

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Is it All About the Sweat?

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Eight days till I take my trip to see my parents in Wisconsin. Iím hoping for some pretty leaves. Iíll be sure to include a photo or two if I can get some good shots.

For once, Iím not stressing about the food Iíll be exposed to there. I am in control of what I put in my mouth. No one is forcing me to eat useless calories. I will be able to stay in my calorie range. Iím really hopeful about that. I will not let myself eat out of stress or boredom. I will allow one day each week Iím there to have some extra calories in my day. Iíve decided that if I want to bake anything, I can make rice krispie bars, or angel food cake. These I know I wonít go crazy with. Nothing gooey and chocolatey, which I have a weakness for!

I know I can get some exercise. Iíll miss my new bike, but Dad has an elliptical, and I will bring my computer so I can do videos if I want.

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Today is day 34 of my binge-free streak. Speaking of streaks, Iím having my longest streak in NOT getting ST twice per week! I really want to rectify that! It seems so easy to get it done once I set my timer and get down on the floor and do my 60 push-ups, which leads easily into my minute long plank, which leads to my bicycle crunches, bench dips, bicep curls with squats, and on it goes! I have no problem once I start my timer, but I resist doing this. I do not know what my block is. Sometimes, I use the excuse that I donít want to get all sweaty. That is actually my consistent excuse! Once I do it, I decide I want to do it again tomorrow. The next day I am sore, so I rationalize needing to let my muscles recover. The next day Iím sore still, so I remember hearing that itís ok to wait two days in between workouts (ST). But on the third day, I am no longer motivated. Then a week passes and I decide, I better get this week off to a good start! So Iím getting one good ST workout a week. I do have a long streak doing that, but I donít track once a week streaks of ST.

Some people schedule their workouts as appointments they must keep with themselves. Iíve never tried this; I like to wing it. I know, thatís probably my problem! I just need to get serious about this. My main motivation for ST is to strengthen myself to arm against osteoporosis. What motivates you to keep up with your ST workouts?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Great job on your streak of 34 days binge-free emoticon . I'm with you on the ST and I like your idea of setting a timer and just start doing them. I'm going to have that as a goal this month to do at least two ST sessions/week. Have a great visit with your parents in Wisconsin. I live in central WI and the leaves have not started turning yet. We just came from Northern WI for a short vacation (Hayward area) and they are just starting to turn there. Hope you have a fabo time!

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SHERIO5 9/5/2013 9:35AM

    Like you, I want to prevent bone loss, and I know muscle supports the bones...

Sounds like you are really prepared for your visit!

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TRAVELGRRL 9/4/2013 10:28PM

    Sounds like a great plan for visiting the parents! I have a hard time doing my ST at home, which is why I take classes at the fitness center. They are T/TH and are 75 minutes long!

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SUEPERWOMAN 9/4/2013 5:08PM

I hate strength training but I just bought a sleeveless dress for my daughter's wedding in May, so if that's not motivation for me, nothing is, LOL.

I so appreciate that you said that when you go to see your parents you will stay within your calorie range. So many, it seems, blame others for "forcing" food on them. The words, "no, thanks" are so powerful.

Love, Ginger emoticon

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ANGGEL40 9/4/2013 5:02PM

    I do ST and sike myself up every time I do it.I like to sweat because I know that I am burning fat..there is this quote I like(Sweat Is Just Fat Crying)..Enjoy your parents and have a safe trip..Have Fun!

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CASTIRONLADY 9/4/2013 4:50PM

    I must schedule myself in as I haven't been at doing anything at all. Thanks a bunch.

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PLMITCH 9/4/2013 3:39PM

    I found I have to schedule my weekday workouts (which are at lunchtime) -- mostly to keep coworkers from scheduling meetings in "my" time. Saturday and Sunday I do more "winging" -- depends on my mood, what else is planned, etc.

Bottom line -- whatever works for you!

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CHRISTASP 9/4/2013 3:02PM

    I can relate.

I do not keep up with ST workouts! I start and like you, I get sore, I wait a day, and another day, and then....

Comment edited on: 9/4/2013 3:03:03 PM

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LARISSA238 9/4/2013 2:32PM

    I don't like ST very much, but I do it because I need to ward off osteoporosis. Yes, I'm young, but I'm on the Depo shot which can cause bone loss. I've made it my goal this month to do ST 3 times a week at least. I'm going to volunteer today, so when I get home it will be ST time. I also plan to try and take a walk besides walking to work and back. I don't have my FitBit yet, but I want to get ready for when it comes.

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KELLIEBEAN 9/4/2013 2:29PM

    I use the same excuse when I don't feel motivated for a workout.... "I don't feel like getting sweaty now."

I have ST 3 days/week on my Other Goals page so it helps when I look at that page and see how many days I have not filled it in.

In your list of strength exercises, are you working all muscles each time? I try to break it up through the week... arms, back and chest one day, abs one day and lower body another day. I agree it's good to rest muscles a couple days, have to get those micro tears repaired so they get stronger.

I like that you set a timer to get it done. Great idea and congrats on 60 pushups!! That is fantastic. I'll get there some day.


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KIMBERLY_Y 9/4/2013 2:02PM

    Great thoughts! I am sure you will do fine with your eating. It is a mental mind set and you seem to have it.

I am motivated to strength train because since I started over 1 1/2 years ago, I do not have back pain because my core is so much stronger. Not to mention the fact that I can now see arm muscles for the first time EVER! And my leg muscles are back in rare form. I am finally happy about the way I look and FEEL!!!! That is motivation for me!

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It IS Possible to Notice When My Stomach Reaches FULL

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

I had a new experience with eating a meal.

The normal rate of my food intake since I was a child, had been to eat mouthful after mouthful, not taking my time, but taking another bite as soon as I swallow the first bite. Not putting my fork down, or laying the sandwich down between bites. I always finish my food before anyone else at the table. Especially lately when I eat even smaller portions. It doesnít take long to eat at all! But i remain hungry for another half hour after finishing, so I'm mostly tempted to keep eating. I have trained myself to stop because of calorie count, not because of feeling full.

I was, as a child, always rushing to clean my plate before my brothers. Mom and Dad at some point praised me for being the first one done. I continued to strive to be the first finished. I was always a people pleaser. Who doesnít like to hear praise from their parents?

Yesterday, without any pre-planning, I took the first bite and found myself noticing the moment when that first swallow entered my stomach. I didnít take another bite until I felt that actual moment. I thought maybe that is what Iím supposed to have been doing all along, though it never occurred to me. So I continued to eat my whole meal that way. It took much concentration.

My husband asked me if my food was too hot or if I was savoring my food. I said I was savoring it. He finished way before I did, which has never happened in 36 years of marriage. I actually had to stop eating before finishing. I was full!

Iím also a drink guzzler. (Water, milk, etc.) I am interested to see if I can slow myself down with drinking, too. I donít drink alcohol for this reason. I never paced myself and was a binge drinker.

I am interested in continuing to try to eat deliberately again. I forgot about it this morning until it was too late. But I want to try it over and over.

Another thing I want to mention . . . I made it through the long holiday weekend with hubby home and strange eating schedules, with no over-eating or binges! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_JODI404 9/13/2013 12:28PM

    Eating slowly and mindfully is a great practice!

It's very funny: my husband may be the world's fastest eater.... and in stark contrast I may possibly be the world's slowest eater!!! And it's not due to any great mindful practice -- it's just how I have always been since childhood too. When we eat out, I get asked -- are you still working on that dish? all the time and I say - yes, I'm just the slowest eater ever. It's funny that Rob may be nearly finished by the time I barely begin a plate.

However slowly I go: I still can eat without the focus of which you speak. This is a great reminder to -- to savor and really enjoy each bite.

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TRAVELGRRL 9/3/2013 7:19PM

    Way to go!!

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PENNYSAVER2 9/3/2013 1:39PM

    I really enjoyed your blog. emoticon

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LARISSA238 9/3/2013 12:17PM

    You rock! Awesome that you made it binge-free! You can do it!

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CHRISTASP 9/3/2013 11:35AM

    Good blog!
Maybe you should ask someone, like your husband, to re-train you by having him praise you for finishing LAST!

I'm reminded of the book "Mindful Eating' by Jan Chozen Bays. I really liked it.

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SHERIO5 9/3/2013 9:27AM


I need to get back to eating slowly. I've always been a fast eater, learned as a child, trying to be like my dad! You are showing me I can relearn this habit!

Enjoy your success!

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BROADBRUSH 9/3/2013 9:22AM

    yes our body knows and tells us all we need to know - trouble is many times we don't listen. you have done well and learned a very valuable lesson. i always say if you are rushed, or upset before a meal - wait a while - take the time to allow your body to re-focus - then sit down and feast with your eyes first, smell the goodness - then pick up your fork.
so glad you had a super weekend.

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PEZMOM1 9/3/2013 9:21AM


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SKMINNY 9/3/2013 9:20AM

    Your title got my attention! i have always eaten fast. i am the first one done in my house too... i am going to start eating mindfully instead of wolfing it down.... i do think i will feel better and stop blaming everyone that i overate! thank you thank you! emoticon

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KELLIEBEAN 9/3/2013 9:11AM

    Great job! You have really come so far this month.

I have been working on eating more slowly lately. I've always eaten too fast when I'm eating something I really like. It really makes a difference.

I'm so happy for you!


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    Great job! There are many studies showing that this type of eating (at which I am terrible!) is a great way to lose weight.

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NUTRON3 9/3/2013 8:04AM

    Good job

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KANOE10 9/3/2013 7:58AM

    You are doing great and staying on track after the long weekend. Eating slowly and stopping when you are full is a very good step.


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EOWYN2424 9/3/2013 7:46AM


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CHERYLHURT 9/3/2013 7:41AM

  emoticon emoticon

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MJREIMERS 9/3/2013 7:39AM

    emoticon As a teacher, I eat most meals in under 15 minutes. I know it's ridiculous, but I only get 30 minutes to eat and often it's less than that. I'm still working on slowing down when I eat. Your blog helped! emoticon

I know it won't be easy to undo 20+ years of chowing food down, but I'm going to try! Have a great day!

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NOWORNEVER1982 9/3/2013 7:36AM

    emoticon emoticon

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Sugar Reaction. . . Yuck!

Monday, September 02, 2013

Yesterday, after I wrote my poem about my being "on my way" and feeling wiser, I went to the mall with my hubby after a good lunch. There is a dessert that I've eyed up every time I go past a cookie shop. It's a red velvet brownie, cream cheese icing and all. I always told myself not to get it because once I tasted it, I'd be more likely to eat one again.

This time, before I even got into the mall, by calculating my calories for the day, I decided it was ok to get one. So I did. It was very delicious and the texture was perfect. I didn't regret it. It didn't make me crave more sugar, which is unusual. But, in three hours it was supper time. I felt exceedingly hungry by the time our meal was ready. I decided exactly how much I was going to eat. (because I knew if I didn't I'd overcompensate for being so hungry.) I stuck to it.

For four hours following dinner, I felt shaky and edgy. I blame it on the sugar overload I had earlier. I did not like the feeling at all. In the past, this feeling would drive me to eat, maybe even binge! I didn't do either. I poured myself iced coffee with cream, and sat and tried to watch tv with hubby. The only thing that seem to help was distracting myself by scanning through Pinterest. I'm sure it was reaction to sugar, since I hardly eat it anymore. If I do, it is in quite limited amounts.

I didn't eat more. That's a good thing. I also feel like I learned my lesson. Do I really want to do that again? Does the four hour sugar reaction pale in comparison to the few minutes I enjoyed the brownie? I think not.

I hope in the future I will recall this event and be wise in my next decision about this or another sugary choice. To top it off, I'm cranky today. So it is probably more than a four hour reaction. I hope I've really learned my lesson. Sure, I stayed in calorie range, but those empty calories could have been more wisely spent!

I'm reseting my brain. Refreshing in my mind the commitments I've made to myself to eat at the low end of my calorie range, and to keep myself free from binges. I can do it!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_JODI404 9/2/2013 10:03PM

    Yes YOU CAN do it!!!

I think you will remember this as a lesson learned. I recently did a 30 day reset to reduce my sugar and I loved how much better I felt during that period. It sounds like a classic sugar reaction to me. One thing I try to do now is always split in 1/2 any treat with hubby. Automatically that cuts the "damages" in half and still allows me a treat if I want one here and there occasionally. I find that 1/2 is always more than enough.

You did a great job with staying busy on Pinterest. I've been using that staying busy technique myself and it really does help a lot!

You are doing really great!! When you document these things in blogs, it helps that you can go back to read again too if you are seeing a trend develop. That and your super awesome quotes that I love!

emoticon emoticon emoticon !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon

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CASTIRONLADY 9/2/2013 9:08PM

    Sugar rush is for the young. It just makes me jittery too and feeling uncomfortable in my skin. One bite may be fine but the whole thing!

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LARISSA238 9/2/2013 8:04PM

    Congrats on not bingeing! You did a great job! I'm sorry you had such a bad reaction to the sugar, but I'm glad you learned from it. *hugs*

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TRAVELGRRL 9/2/2013 7:51PM

    What a lesson! You really analyzed the treat and its results. As we go on in this journey I think we continue to learn lessons, both big and small. Good job with this one!

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NOWORNEVER1982 9/2/2013 7:07PM

    Great insight! I'm sure a lot of us, as we start eating better, occasionally go through similar situations and I can relate. But, I think you handled the situation like a champion and you should be proud of yourself for it! emoticon

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KELLIEBEAN 9/2/2013 5:40PM

    I find that the treats I used to enjoy now make me feel gross. It's great now to look at those foods and remember that gross feeling and turn away.

I'm glad it didn't lead you to overeat! It's a win, a tough one, but a win!


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SHERIO5 9/2/2013 5:04PM

    Not fun! Glad you resisted the urge to overeat...maybe a smaller sized treat, or just a couple of bites could satisfy the craving, and prevent a reaction?

Glad you are on track!

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KANOE10 9/2/2013 3:58PM

    I am the same way..I cannot handle much sugar and stay away from it. You were strong to work through the after effects and to stay away from more sugar. well done.

We are all learning more and more about ourselves.


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OOLALA53 9/2/2013 1:42PM

    Sometimes I wish I had those reactions. Most of the time, I don't. But, things are actually going well. (Personally, I don't mind having some minor urges to eat a bit more. I can ignore them and some sweets are worth that, but I don't like that logy feeling.) I'm getting much better at choosing the items and amounts that I can enjoy without feeling any negative reactions to. The rest of the time, it's not hard to pass things up.
Two things overeaters typically do, and which helped me to put some effort into reversing, is magnifying how good a food will feel and taste, and minimizing how crappy they will feel after eating it at the moment of choice. Go ahead and spend some time now really remembering how you felt AFTER eating the brownie. Briefly imagine yourself in a situation where you might want a sweet, and imagine thinking of wanting to avoid those consequences. It really is worth the few minutes it takes to do this BEFORE you get into the situation.

You are doing so great! I think you are down to the fine-tuning now, aren't you? emoticon

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-KRISTI77- 9/2/2013 12:37PM

    Great job on not overeating later! Off to check out the Tame Your Sweet Tooth Challenge that was posted in the comments. I feel like SparkPeople is really helping me with mine already, but extra help to drive the point home is never a bad thing.

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THESAME6LBS 9/2/2013 12:01PM

  I know that terrible feeling well. It's a good awareness to have and definitely not worth the feeling.

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CHERYL_ANNE 9/2/2013 11:47AM

Experience is a very good teacher if we allow ourselves to be receptive to the lesson!

Here's to you feeling better~!

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CELEST 9/2/2013 11:41AM

    Well done on not caving. I do get what you are saying about sugar unbalancing you. Now that we have gone on healthy eating, that sugar does BAD things to us. I try to give sugars a wiiiiiddddde birth.

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-AMANDA79- 9/2/2013 11:15AM

    That brownie won't be taunting you anymore when you walk past it! What's that saying? Something about lessons learned hard are learned best?

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NEECOLE09 9/2/2013 11:09AM

    Hello! Have you tried the Tame Your Sweet Tooth Challenge? I just completed it and it really helped me with my sugar issues. It looks like you have it pretty much under control but if you're interested it is a good challenge team to join!

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KNYAGENYA 9/2/2013 10:54AM

    Wow- sugar can be evil. Good for you for not going overboard. Congrats on not binging. I am so proud of you.

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ONEKIDSMOM 9/2/2013 10:52AM

    I have observed the same reaction in myself when I "justify" certain kinds of treats. I have to work harder to stay on track after the fact, or even to "get back on track" if I don't nip it in the bud. Makes a compulsive eater remember, keep it green, but it's scary as anything... and most times? "Not worth it."

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On My Way

Sunday, September 01, 2013

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

As time passes

Iím seeing changes

Healthy changes

In character

In habits

Evolving day by day

Feeling settled

Finally feeling my age

Not older

But wiser

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

(This is a poem I wrote myself)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHERIO5 9/2/2013 10:21AM

    Beautiful! I'm so happy for you, Lori!

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ANGGEL40 9/1/2013 9:20PM

    emoticon just so touching emoticon

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LARISSA238 9/1/2013 8:56PM


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CHERYL_ANNE 9/1/2013 6:48PM

    Feeling settled... one of the best "feelings" there is!

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BABY_GIRL69 9/1/2013 6:28PM

    Baby steps...we need to take them daily..

God bless Lorilee!


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_JODI404 9/1/2013 4:36PM

    Awesome!! These changes are so positive.... just wonderful Lori!

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TRAVELGRRL 9/1/2013 3:43PM

    Fantastic! Talk about a Non-Scale Victory! Change is the name of the journey. Congratulations on the changes you've made, and the ones to come. emoticon

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THOMASINA57 9/1/2013 3:32PM

    Beautiful.. aging wisely!! I love it.

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KNYAGENYA 9/1/2013 2:32PM

    I love it.

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ANNEMAC5 9/1/2013 2:31PM

    simple, lovely.

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KELLIEBEAN 9/1/2013 2:15PM



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