Tuesday, September 03, 2013
I had a new experience with eating a meal.
The normal rate of my food intake since I was a child, had been to eat mouthful after mouthful, not taking my time, but taking another bite as soon as I swallow the first bite. Not putting my fork down, or laying the sandwich down between bites. I always finish my food before anyone else at the table. Especially lately when I eat even smaller portions. It doesnít take long to eat at all! But i remain hungry for another half hour after finishing, so I'm mostly tempted to keep eating. I have trained myself to stop because of calorie count, not because of feeling full.
I was, as a child, always rushing to clean my plate before my brothers. Mom and Dad at some point praised me for being the first one done. I continued to strive to be the first finished. I was always a people pleaser. Who doesnít like to hear praise from their parents?
Yesterday, without any pre-planning, I took the first bite and found myself noticing the moment when that first swallow entered my stomach. I didnít take another bite until I felt that actual moment. I thought maybe that is what Iím supposed to have been doing all along, though it never occurred to me. So I continued to eat my whole meal that way. It took much concentration.
My husband asked me if my food was too hot or if I was savoring my food. I said I was savoring it. He finished way before I did, which has never happened in 36 years of marriage. I actually had to stop eating before finishing. I was full!
Iím also a drink guzzler. (Water, milk, etc.) I am interested to see if I can slow myself down with drinking, too. I donít drink alcohol for this reason. I never paced myself and was a binge drinker.
I am interested in continuing to try to eat deliberately again. I forgot about it this morning until it was too late. But I want to try it over and over.
Another thing I want to mention . . . I made it through the long holiday weekend with hubby home and strange eating schedules, with no over-eating or binges!
Monday, September 02, 2013
Yesterday, after I wrote my poem about my being "on my way" and feeling wiser, I went to the mall with my hubby after a good lunch. There is a dessert that I've eyed up every time I go past a cookie shop. It's a red velvet brownie, cream cheese icing and all. I always told myself not to get it because once I tasted it, I'd be more likely to eat one again.
This time, before I even got into the mall, by calculating my calories for the day, I decided it was ok to get one. So I did. It was very delicious and the texture was perfect. I didn't regret it. It didn't make me crave more sugar, which is unusual. But, in three hours it was supper time. I felt exceedingly hungry by the time our meal was ready. I decided exactly how much I was going to eat. (because I knew if I didn't I'd overcompensate for being so hungry.) I stuck to it.
For four hours following dinner, I felt shaky and edgy. I blame it on the sugar overload I had earlier. I did not like the feeling at all. In the past, this feeling would drive me to eat, maybe even binge! I didn't do either. I poured myself iced coffee with cream, and sat and tried to watch tv with hubby. The only thing that seem to help was distracting myself by scanning through Pinterest. I'm sure it was reaction to sugar, since I hardly eat it anymore. If I do, it is in quite limited amounts.
I didn't eat more. That's a good thing. I also feel like I learned my lesson. Do I really want to do that again? Does the four hour sugar reaction pale in comparison to the few minutes I enjoyed the brownie? I think not.
I hope in the future I will recall this event and be wise in my next decision about this or another sugary choice. To top it off, I'm cranky today. So it is probably more than a four hour reaction. I hope I've really learned my lesson. Sure, I stayed in calorie range, but those empty calories could have been more wisely spent!
I'm reseting my brain. Refreshing in my mind the commitments I've made to myself to eat at the low end of my calorie range, and to keep myself free from binges. I can do it!
Friday, August 30, 2013
Iíve passed the 4-week (28 days) point in my binge-free streak! Today is day 29 and I am thrilled that things are going so well! Two weeks from now I will be spending almost 2 weeks at my parentsí house. I am looking at this as a challenge. These two weeks prior to the trip, when Iím living in anticipation and excitement and maybe a bit of anxiety of having to face comfort foods, will be the first challenge in not having any binges.
The next phase of my challenge will be the actual trip and visit. One thing that makes it pretty easy not to binge at Mom and Dadís is that they donít keep any food in the house, so I can buy what I want to eat. The only trouble I had last time was when I made the mistake of baking for them. Of course, I ate most of it! There are a few other candy and bakery goodies from my hometown that suck me in whenever I go. But Iím going home more frequently, and they donít have such a pull on me anymore. Last time I was there and indulged, those treats didnít taste as good as I remembered them to taste when I was younger. If I just remember that, I wonít even consider buying them.
About a week after I return from Wisconsin, weíll be heading to Hawaiíi! CANíT WAIT! Will get to meet baby BjÝrn, our youngest grandson. Hubbyís mom is coming with us on the trip. Having her there will help me keep my fingers off the extra helpings. Iím self-conscious eating around her. This may help keep me in line.
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Bike riding is so much more enjoyable and exciting than riding my recumbent bike upstairs. This seems like a better workout. I got the bike on Tuesday night, rode it twice on Wednesday and once yesterday. This morning I took another ride. Loving it all the way! Got MapMyFitness app on the suggestion of KELLIEBEAN. I started at 10 minutes, increased by 5 for the next two rides, and this morning added 5. So Iím up to 20 minutes. I canít believe how pooped I am this morning! It was humid, so maybe that has something to do with it. I am using different muscles than indoors. Once I get my time increased to where I want it, I will increase speed. I carry my phone in my cargo pants leg pocket. The app calls out every mile or so and how long I have been riding, my speed and everything! Love it. It will also do this for my walks, (and runs, but I donít run). Iím finally having fun working out. I used to have fun while swimming, but I didnít like dealing with locker rooms and showers at the Y.
I am so glad I got a bike! It was the least expensive piece of major equipment I have purchased! Hubby said maybe weíll get a bike rack soon. Iíd love to take it to the greenway!
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
This is a picture I couldn't resist sharing with you all. This is my 2.5 year-old granddaughter Daisy. She was so excited to get to pick a PINK flower from my garden, roots and all!
I woke up with an extra bounce in my step. As soon as possible I went outside and jumped on my brand spanking new bike!
I didn't have to order it after all. We remembered there was another Academy Sports store another 15 minutes up the highway. So at 7 last night we called them and they had one! I was able to get the color that I wanted, which of course will make it a better bike, haha!
I took a 10 minute ride around the neighborhood. 10 minutes was all I had before I had to leave for my daughter's. But 10 minutes got me out of breath. It's a 6 speed bike and I pushed myself to use higher gears. I LOVE IT! Makes me feel like a kid again!
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