Friday, November 11, 2011
When I was a teenager I was very insecure about my body as many of us were. But I had grown to be tallest in my class in 4th grade, and got large breasts at that time too. I stayed 5'3 for the rest of my life, so gradually I was one of the shortest. But while I was tall, and curvy, I wasn't really overweight. Maybe 120 Lbs. My best friend was actually a petite, actually anorexic looking girl though at that age and in those days, anorexia wasn't a topic of discussion, I don't even know if that was the term for it yet. I took my cues from looking at her and thinking I should be littler like her, weight-wise. I dreamed of legs as skinny as hers. I was a tomboy and very muscular, so that wasn't a reality I could attain. But I was a kid and didn't know better.
We were friends till one day another friend of hers came over to me in the playground (in 6th grade) and told me I couldn't hang out with their group. Of course they were the "in crowd". I spent all the rest of my years in school insecure and devastated. I tried wearing different clothes, maybe that was what was wrong with me, but no, that didn't help. I also tried losing weight. Even for a year I became anorexic, but that didn't help. Thank goodness that faze didn't last. I just needed someone to tell me I was ok the way I was. But I didn't ask anyone for that and I also didn't know that's what I needed.
After years of being married, I finally started asking for approval from my hubby, who wasn't verbal about liking my looks or my body. But the insecurity was around for many more years. Too much damage was done. I constantly compared myself to other women. I still do, but I am gaining confidence and offer myself more approval lately.
I now now confidence doesn't have to be about weight or body size. I am proud of who I am becoming, more and more each day!
Monday, November 07, 2011
Started out to be a great day. Got up early due to the time change, and had an extra hour before I needed to leave for work, so I took a walk. While walking I tried to listen to music, but nothing hit me right. I was impatient with the music. Maybe I'm just bored with what I have on my iPod.
The time change must be messing with me because now I'm "off schedule" for my meds and I'm consequently in a daze. I thought maybe it was because I didn't get to eat lunch on time that caused me to be spacey. Well whatever the reason, I hope in a few days I feel back to normal.
Yesterday was a beautiful day here and I was planning on taking a walk outside. I had an hour before I was planning on going out for that walk, I hung out indoors for a little and I lit a candle that smells so good...Twisted Peppermint, by Bath and Body Works. Peppermint energizes me and I put on a CD of Phil Collins and started marching around the room, and doing lunges and kinda dancing (I don't dance) and I didn't stop till the CD was finished, I was enjoying myself so much. It turned out to be an hour of movement! So I never ended up walking outside. Instead I took my Mac outside and got on SP. So I still enjoyed the nice weather. My calves are really tight today and my feet are sore. So Whatever I was doing was good for my calves. (I did stretch after the CD, and again today after my walk, but tonight I'm still sore.)
Tomorrow I will go swimming in the morning. Last time I swam I had to push to finish my 40 minute swim. I had gotten into the pool and after 2 laps I was out of breath to the point that I almost panicked. I told the lifeguard I'd gotten out of breath really quickly today and she said maybe I was cold and to keep moving. But I stayed short of breath until lap 30 (30 min) But I had slowed my pace. I checked my heart rate after I slowed down and it was average for my usual rate. I should've checked it when I was out of breath. Hopefully this won't happen again in the morning.
Tonight was date night. My hubby and I have had Monday night date night since 1994. We've only missed a handful of Mondays. We usually just go out to dinner and maybe walk around the mall for a few laps. It's just nice to have a special set aside time to focus on each other without tv. Tonight he was in the mood for stromboli, so we each had a half of one. I stayed within my budget for the day. Maybe not a very healthy food choice, but I sure enjoyed it.
Last night I made up a general schedule of when I'll work out. But today I walked instead of doing my Jillian DVD, Frontside. I've never made a schedule to work out and I kind of like winging it. I'm pretty good about getting 2 days of ST and 2 days of swimming. The rest of the days I walk and sometimes I double up and walk as well as swim. On the ST days I usually get some walking in, too.
Friday, November 04, 2011
I dug up some old pictures of myself from when I was at my highest weight. Back before 2000, which is when I started finally losing weight.
The pictures are in my gallery, I didn't post them in my blog because I had a hard enough time putting them on my SparkPage. I wish there was an easy way to transfer them from my gallery to my blog.
When I realized I was obese, I just made a decision for the New Year that I was going to "get smaller" I didn't set a goal weight. I just set out to lose. I started writing down everything I ate, eliminated white stuff (flour sugar potatoes and rice.) I started walking for 15 minutes a couple times a week and then increased till I was sometimes walking 7 miles at a time. I'm really proud of myself for doing this. I got down from 210 to 170 by April. then by the next summer I started trying to lose more and lost another 25 pounds. Settling at 145.
Before I started losing I'd had an awakening. I didn't realize how much I'd gained (I was 135 most of the years from my 20's when I had babies until I got to be 38, and started on a particular medicine for my bipolar disorder.) My husband had told me I'd better lose weight or he would divorce me. I think it was mostly because I wasn't happy with myself, and I think he thought that would motivate me to lose. It really hurt, but I also opened my eyes to the fact that I couldn't stand what I saw in the mirror every time I went into the bathroom.
Well, I mentioned that I settled at 145. That lasted 5 years and about the time one of my daughters got married I started regaining some of it. Not sure what it was. I kept logging my food since 2000, and only stopped that for a short time recently which really added to the problem. So I know logging is key for me.
October 26 was my 3 monthiversary with SparkPeople and I have learned so much. I have no desire to give in to the oversize portions that I used to eat. And I am working hard to keep up a good exercise routine. I'm getting some SparkFriends who are supportive and encouraging. I was all alone in my efforts before and was able to make progress, but it is much easier to do it this way.
Thank you for all your kind words of encouragement!
Thursday, November 03, 2011
I know that kids learn by example. I've heard that picky eaters come from seeing parents be picky eaters. Well, I have the pickiest eater for a husband. He won't eat any vegetables. He won't eat meat unless it's a hamburger or meatloaf. Well, he is willing to eat turkey subs, but it has never been any fun cooking meals if I was the only one who would enjoy them. So I gave up on cooking.
When the kids were small, I cooked, but the menu was limited. I gave up on vegetables because I'd be the only one eating them. I didn't want to be cooking for one when there were 6 of us. No lovely stews or soups. No crock pot meals, no balanced meals. You probably wonder what we ate!? We ended up eating out SO much of the time. He would get pizza (does sauce count as a vegetable? maybe so!) Or a turkey sub, at least he likes rice and beans. He sticks to a very limited menu. Oh, and he likes to have cereal for dinner. He won't eat eggs.
I've learned that I'll never change him and I love him for who he is. It took me years to learn that, but now we are best of friends in every way.
As I said, I was concerned about the kids learning his ways. BUT, as grown-ups they all have very well balanced diets. One of them feeds her whole family a vegetarian diet. Including her 2 kids. I thought it wasn't healthy for little ones to eat that way, but she has the healthiest family. The other three eat a wide variety of foods and are health conscious.
When I had gained weight, and became 210, I hadn't (obviously) been eating healthfully.
But when I turned things around and eliminated most sugars and refined flour, and included lots of vegetables, I started losing weight (of course there was a lot of exercise involved). This is in 2000, and three of my kids were in their late teens and one was 8 or so. They saw me be successful in losing 70 pounds in a year and a half, so maybe that demonstrated to them the value of eating better. It must've made an impression on them, it seems so since they all turned to good eating habits.
I am happy that I could Spark my kids, even though at the time i knew nothing about SparkPeople. Now that I'm trying to re-lose the regained 15 lbs and lose another 15, they are my biggest cheerleaders. It's not hard to have meals with them because they make healthy choices. (I just ignore my husband's pickiness, that seems to be the only way I can deal with it.)
There's a picture of me with my whole family on my SparkPage. It doesn't include the kids' spouses, kids or girlfriends. That would be 15 of us. Please stop by and see us. I'm very proud of them all!
Wednesday, November 02, 2011
I have posted pictures on my SparkPage of me at 161 and 150, which is my current weight. Check them out. Tonight I got a body composition analysis done. The kind with the calipers. Rachel, a very energetic kinesiologist eat the Y did the measurement. She came up with a 28% Body Fat Composition. She recommended for me, at age 52, I should shoot for 23-24%. That doesn't sound too hard. But maybe it is? She said the only way to change the number is to gain lean body mass. Strength Training is key. So I will ramp up my ST routine.
My cholesterol is pretty good. Total Cholesterol is 206. (should be under 200)
My triglycerides are 82 with a goal of less than 150! (My trigly. at one point were 1300, when I weighed 210.) My HDL is 70,( should be greater than 40-50) I'm proud of that number too since it used to run low. My LDL is where the problem lies, it's 120 and should be under 100. Gives me something to work on.
My blood sugar is 88, but then I've never had any problems with it.
The other day I read one of the warning labels on my thyroid medicine that says to take this medicine 4 hours before vitamins (calcium, zinc, and iron) But I've been taking it at the same time as my vitamin. Maybe that caused the thyroid med to be less effective,(since those minerals bind with the medicine causing it to not be absorbed in the body as well) meaning I could be hypothyroid, which can cause trouble with weight loss. Ive been losing at a rate of 1/2 lb. every 1 to 2 weeks. So I changed my vitamin time. We'll see if that makes any difference.
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