Friday, August 16, 2013
You all know about how difficult it is for me to keep things under control with my eating, while having guests in my house. Well, I think I'm over and done with my difficulties with that!
We had the 9- and 10-year-old grands here for 3 days. Day by day I began to see that my stress eating while having company wasnít happening! Either I am no longer stressed by them being here, or have begun to really practice good coping skills for any stress Iím feeling. No matter what it is, and itís probably a combination of the two, I am so relieved!
In general I have found a peace around food that I havenít ever had. And Iím choosing over and over, day by day, to make myself slow down and not think I always wish I could have something to eat. I am being picky and eating only what will satisfy me. I am busying myself as soon as I eat so I wonít linger in the kitchen and find something more when I should have already had enough.
I used to have a hard time transitioning between activities, and would eat if I were thinking of what to do next. It was like every time I had a pause in my day, I felt compelled to reach for food. Iím finally seeing that itís not food I need, itís just time to decide on my next activity. Just move on.
Though I may have eaten something recently, I often get a buzzing feeling in my body which I always used to read as something signaling that I needed to fill myself with food. Now Iím more relaxed and look at it objectively and recognize that this feeling doesnít mean I have to eat. Just get busy and the feeling will pass. And it does!
This is a major breakthrough!
Another exciting thing is that I have not binged since August 1st, which is two weeks! That is so cool because I made it through the wedding party, traveling and babysitting for three days! Iíd had a .5 pound loss from last Thursday to Monday, then from this Monday to Thursday, another .5 gone! Hubby thinks itís due to the decrease in medicine, but I want to take all the credit. Though maybe he has something there, that my mind is thinking more clearly, enabling me to not be so desperate for food. I clearly haven't had to fight as hard these two weeks to not binge. (That medicine isnít supposed to cause weight gain. But maybe it makes it difficult to lose while on it. Who knows?!)
I didnít worry about getting exercise while the kids were her, but we did go to a pool for 2 hours, in the water the whole time and swimming or being active the whole time. I taught the 10-yr-old how to do handstands in the water. That was fun, he is so proud of himself!
Iím looking forward to each day now, not feeling such a bondage to foodÖsomething Iíve been praying for!
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Ahhh, the wedding reception was perfect.
Aside from feeling a little stressed during meal time and eating two extra brownies after it was dark and I knew no one was looking, the evening was a huge success.
I have a couple of favorite memories from the celebration. My daughter and son-in-law, Deanna and Josh, got up and thanked us and his parents doing such a good job raising them and helping them to be the perfect match for each other. They presented us each with a quilted picnic blanket that Deanna sewed. Ours included triangles cut out of a pair of mod bell bottom pants I sewed in '74. My mother had saved them and gave them to Deanna when she was a teen in the 90s. She actually wore them, too! It gives special meaning to the gift. She designed them herself. She is a fiber arts artist. I'll have to post a picture of it when I can get to it.
Another favorite memory is of the stuff that happened after dark. Of course the whole dinner and entertainment were outdoors, in the beautiful mountains of WV. The sky was clear, the air there is pure, and there was only an early moon. So by the time it got dark, it got extremely dark. We had candles lit on tables. They had a fireworks show that was the best home fireworks display I'd ever seen. Beautiful. After the fireworks, no one wanted to leave. We sat and gazed at the stars which were amazing. So many of them. I've never seen so many. We sat and named constellations and saw the milky way. We saw a satellite cross the sky and to top it off there was a meteor shower that night! Prayers for a night of no rain were answered, to everyone's relief.
Food was great and I had small servings, but two servings of the main items: bar-b-cue, mac and cheese, and cubed sweet potatoes cooked in garlic. Delicious. I also had plenty of veggies and fruit. Chocolate cake, a small piece.
There was one mistake I made that I regretted. My grandson told me he had made sure that his mom bought mountain dew for me. He sees me drink it all the time. But he had her get full sugar, caffeinated, but I drink caffeine free diet m. dew. I didn't want him to think I didn't appreciate him thinking of me. He's 10 and I thought it was so special that he did this. I drank one. It was hot out and I was getting dehydrated. It was thirst quenching, but oh boy did the caffeine and sugar do a number on me! My heart raced and I felt quite a sugar rush. I had to sit down. My 21 year old son came and sat next to me and spoke to me in his calming bass voice. He had me steady my breathing and slow my heart rate by focusing on "breathing from my heart". It worked and I was calm the rest of the evening. Smart boy!
Six hours in the car each way wasn't bad. I exercised in the car doing glute squeezes and hip raises, pelvic tilts with tight abs, (all at once) for 10 minute stretches, two times each way. I also made trips to the bathroom exercise opportunities. I did pulsing squats for a min each time and wall triceps pushups also for a minute. I made it in of out of the gas station potty stops without even considering buying any treats. I am so proud of these things.
Sorry for the long post. I'll write a separate one about the great time it has been having Deanna's kids for three days.
I lost a half pound from Friday till Tuesday. No weight gain over this event! That really excites me! It's a first!
Friday, August 09, 2013
As I have mentioned, probably enough times already, but this weekend is travel weekend. Ten hours total riding in the car. Though I savor the time to read, I don't look forward to being sedentary and exposure to gas station treats. I have a weakness for a particular candy bar. I made it a whole week without sweets, except one time. I have kept on the low end of calorie range all but one day, which was a day at the high end. I also will be exposed to food, in particular the most enticing wedding cake, in my book. I beg for prayers to stand firm and eat controlled portions. We will be having a an evening picnic celebration, with a bonfire and fireworks. We will also be playing outdoor games, so there will be chasing around with little kids and big "kids" my children are still kids at heart. All in all a fun Saturday night.
I wrote about the next news in my status today. I realized it was the 8th yesterday and that is the date we met. I figured it out as 463 months since hubby and I met. A random number and even more random event to choose to celebrate. When we first dated and then after marriage, we would celebrate each month; "monthiversaraies." I got it in my head to make a celebration meal and decorate for this, too. I got out a notepad and brainstormed. I ran around half the day picking up items. The other half the day was spent in the kitchen a decorating. Finished as he walked in the door.
We had a really random meal. Low cost and not necessarily special, but something that would keep me within range and also be hubby's favorites. I put up balloons, picked flowers from the garden, put them on a table runner I bought that has a map and pictures of landmarks of Massachusetts, where we spent our first 12 years. I put a ribbon on a pack of peanut M&Ms, his favorite, and drew a card with the number of months and bowling pins and ball, (we met on a blind date in a bowling alley), I wrote inside that he "bowled me over". I didn't tell him what we were celebrating till he read the card. I poured wine in wineglasses I picked up yesterday at goodwill, since we never have wine. He tasted mine, I'd bought him grape juice, knowing he wouldn't drink the wine. He hated the taste he had and said "I don't know how people can drink that stuff"
Right when he walked in the door, I pulled out of the oven a pineapple usidedown cake, a favorite of his that I haven't baked in years, but was something I baked often when we lived in Boston. He hadn't noticed the table set, so he thought the cake was dinner. His eyes lit up. We shared the M&Ms as our appetizer. When we had dessert later, the cake was delicious warm from the oven.
I stayed within calorie range, even with the small glass of wine and the cake. I'd entered the ingredients in the recipe calculator on SP. It was high in calories, even though I'd cut back on the sugar. (Now the trick will be keeping myself from eating any more of it.)
As I said, I never have wine, and I slept like a baby. The running around and preparing for the night probably also helped me sleep well.
We usually watch TV while we eat, but I had purchased and played while we ate, a CD with Hawaiian music, which we love and reminds us of our kids on Oahu, and our visits there. I told him no TV and I wanted us to reminisce. After we ate we sat an looked through an album I've kept with once annual photos of us and our gradual additions of children, and grandchildren. Yesterday I had to scramble to add more recent photos since I'd let myself slip on adding to it. There are a few years missing, but hubby said that doesn't matter; it's the older photos that mean a lot. I told him that when we're in our 70s and 80s, the ones in our 50's will be just as precious. It was fun going down memory lane.
Then we watched a movie. We spent a lot of time watching movies through the years. Something we like to do together, and we held hands through the whole thing. The night wouldn't have been complete without an interruption by our son calling in the middle of the movie, haha! Somehow we had to include the real evidence of our many years together by speaking with one of our offspring!
You married women (or men) ought to plan a random party for two one of these days. My hubby certainly appreciated it!
Thanks for listening to my long tale of my Thursday randomness! It is written down now for me to go back and remember how this fun special day and evening went.
Wednesday, August 07, 2013
Just an observation I've made from reading an article: 7 of our Spark fitness experts mentioned their frequency of using the scale, and some weigh infrequently and a few don't even weigh themselves at all! This intrigues me. None of them seem to weigh more than every 2 weeks! Hmmm. I hope one day that is me! To be confident and happy with myself for who I am and gauge my fitness by stamina and strength and the way my clothes fit.
Here's the link to that article: www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivat
Yesterday I thought I'd get on SP before my workout, but that was a mistake! It was in the afternoon and I got so wrapped up in the SparkWorld that I wasn't finished until my hubby walked through the door! So I decided that after supper, and letting my food digest a bit, I would do yoga and my ST. But for some reason, and I may blame it on my latest medicine change making me spacey, I was zoned out and couldn't get myself off the couch. I didn't even spend my usual 2-3 hours reading before bed! So I was kind to myself and went to sleep at 9. (my usual time is 9-10) I didn't get up till I'd slept 11 hours! Even I know that isn't good for me. I did toss and turn a little at first because I'd had beef for dinner and it seemed to just be sitting in my stomach. I take papaya enzymes, so I think after all that helped with digesting it.
Since the plan of exercising after SparkPeople didn't work out last night, I decided today that I would "treat" myself with SP only after I worked out. That was more effective and I got my ST done, which is the thing I put off the most.
I noticed by not allowing myself to eat in the high end of my range, I'm more choosey about what I eat. I am careful to eat filling satisfying foods and not grab empty calories just because I have 200 more calories till I reach my calorie limit. I often would find myself grabbing a sweet and that would set me up for a binge. I've been eating less for 6 days and have done very well. No binges. I'm definitely planning better and enjoying my food better. I figure, "I'm not going to get another meal or snack for 3 hours, so I'm really going to get enjoyment out of this food."
I came out of the store today without any treats! I went to the grocery store to go to the pharmacy. I hate going to the store without my hubby, because I am prone to grabbing treats. This time I decided I'd go in and out with only my medicine. Then I picked up the store flyer and saw they had a sale on skinny cow ice cream sandwiches. They are not a bad treat, but I decided they were just a few more calories that I like to spend on a treat. Plus they could trigger a binge, and I've been doing fine without sweets. I put the flyer down and marched right to the pharmacy and straight out the door. I have to imagine that I have blinders on so I don't look to the right or to the left!
Today I spent time with my daughter and her two little ones. She is pregnant and needs three meals before 1:00, she has decided this because otherwise she's cranky. So we went to an early lunch while we were out. She had a complete dinner! I happily ate my chicken orzo soup and two crackers. I shared the other cracker pack with the kids. Even though I was finished eating before all of them, I relaxed and enjoyed their company.
When we walked to the parking garage, my 4-year-old grandson said,"Look! there's an e-mail truck!" I thought that was so cute!
Thanks for listening to me ramble!
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