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A Suggested Article I Found on Motivation

Saturday, July 27, 2013

A great article to read here on SP is on motivation. I have found it to be profound and helpful. I anticipate that what I learned from it will help me immensely.

"Mastering the Mysteries of Motivation Pt 2" by Dean Anderson, Behavioral Psychology Expert, is the article I'm recommending.

I learned that it's not helpful to try to figure out what's "wrong with me" that "makes" me do what I don't want to do. ( Binge, or not exercise, etc.) It's important to accept the choice I made as a valid decision made by me. It doesn't matter. No need to label it as a "right or wrong" choice. Just a valid decision made under less than ideal circumstances.

The article says a lot more than this, but that part really grabbed my attention. The rest of it made a lot of sense, and I am ready to "rewrite the stories I tell myself that are unproductive" as Dean Anderson suggests, "to begin seeing myself as active, effective, powerful and normal." I especially was impacted when Anderson included the issue that I need to consider myself normal. I think for so long I've thought of myself as defective or abnormal. It is freeing to say "I am normal!"

Read this article, especially if you can relate at all to what I've mentioned. I think it is a profound article.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POPSY190 7/28/2013 12:47AM

    I like the "history is not destiny" idea. Thank you for the link to this.

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TRAVELGRRL 7/27/2013 2:14PM

    Thank you for sharing the link. I think when we feel things are beyond our control, we give away our power. Our power to change, for one thing! So it is important to "own" our decisions, even if they are poor. It's the only way we can learn from them and move on. (This, from a woman who had a major binge last night!) Oh well, right? I own the choice and I now I make today a GREAT DAY.


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CHERYL_ANNE 7/27/2013 10:49AM

    This is so, so good! Thank you for sharing it with us.

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SHERIO5 7/27/2013 9:55AM

    I like all of his articles!

I think considering ourselves abnormal is normal for many of us! We can't control so many things, but we can teach ourselves to think and speak positively, to learn and grow from our experiences.

I think you are on the road to health, in every way!

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KNYAGENYA 7/27/2013 9:55AM

    Thank you, it certainly gave me some things to think about.

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MJREIMERS 7/27/2013 9:45AM

    emoticon blog and article. Normalcy is as varied as our fingerprints. I love that we "can rewrite" negative and make it into a positive! Thanks for sharing!

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OOLALA53 7/27/2013 9:23AM

    Forgot to ask: would you post the link?

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OOLALA53 7/27/2013 9:22AM

    I very much relate. I think I've said often that I found it frequently didn't matter why I had overeaten. I found even when I knew why, it didn't stop me. And I also realized that it was actually quite logical for me to choose to overeat at times, but it could also be logical to choose not to. The more I choose just to eat my moderate meals no matter what, the less it matters what might tempt me not to.

I'm especially glad you're feeling normal!

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KANOE10 7/27/2013 9:20AM

    You are normal. We all have had those feelings. I love the idea of rewriting the negative stories that you tell yourself to ones where you are effective and normal. I liked the tool that someone suggested which is to picture an event that happened in a positive way.

Thanks for sharing the article. I will read it.


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SANDICANE 7/27/2013 9:03AM

    Wow, thanks for sharing!!!


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Renewing an Old Mindset

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Something I read today, which was a reminder of something I learned when I first started reading articles on SP, was an article about setting goals. The point that struck me was how we often set goals that are negative, like I will stop eating sugar, or I will not eat fattening foods. All kinds of I WILL NOT statements. It is more motivating to set positive goal, like I will drink eight glasses of water a day. Or eat 5 freggies. My NOT statement lately is that I will not binge for a week. Or I will not let my emotions drive me to eating. Rather than "I will be within calorie range this week." And "I will do something constructive with my time if I feel stressed." I suppose there is a subtle difference between the things I'd be telling myself, but just having the positive goal sets me up to win. Just like the old "don't think about zebras" idea. Of course all you'll think about is zebras.

But even before reading this and thinking about this today, last night I had written to many of you that I was desperate to find the old me. The me that was able to lose 70 pounds in a year and stay within a 1300 calorie range month after month for years and kept the weight off. I worked out pretty consistently, and when I had a period that I wasn't too into working out, I maintained my calorie intake and still kept my weight in check and didn't freak out about the ebb and flow of having a drive to work out. Writing this dream to people several times made it begin to feel like a possibility and I set a few new goals. These goals are similar to the ones I set back in 2000, and were sustainable. I feel good about my new goals and attitude. I feel hope that I will find the old me!

Writing blogs and messages to SparkFriends sure does help. Putting it out there and being encouraged by others really makes a difference, don't you think?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KANOE10 7/27/2013 9:22AM

    It really does help to write your goals..you feel accountable and identify with them. I am sure you are going to find the strength in you to lose the weight and keep it off.

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ANNEMAC5 7/26/2013 12:09AM

    we all need help and support at times. Our spark friends help just by been around. Nice thoughtful blog

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POPSY190 7/25/2013 9:57PM

    You're right about the zebra thinking! That's how it works with me with DON'T resolutions. SP is very good for putting us in a more positive frame of mind!

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BROADBRUSH 7/25/2013 8:46PM

    it is so comforting to know there are sparkers ready to support and encourage. i find it invaluable - no man is an island.

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CHERYL_ANNE 7/25/2013 6:16PM

    Yes! The support and encouragement from my fellow Sparkers is invaluable to me and I know I would be lost without it.

I'm so happy to see that you're going to use "I will" statements. Attract the positive and goodness that they will surely bring to you!

Yay for feeling more upbeat and decided.

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KNYAGENYA 7/25/2013 2:26PM

    I would be lost without my sparkfriends. You can do it...I have faith in you.

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TRAVELGRRL 7/25/2013 1:17PM

    I agree too!

Negatively-framed goals are real downers. Positively-stated goals are something we can aspire and rise up to.

Reading blogs about Scale and Non-Scale Victories is inspiring to me. Seeing before and after pictures is inspiring. It makes me feel that if they can do it, I can too!

I am glad you are feeling re-inspired, and I can't wait to see what you do next!

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SHERIO5 7/25/2013 12:34PM

    I completely agree! Sparking works! Encouraging and being encouraged is so helpful!

Thinking and writing and speaking in a positive way is so important!!!


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LINDA! 7/25/2013 12:15PM

    I agree. When I read other's blogs I feel that I am learning something new everyday. By reading of their experiences, it helps me with my journey.

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KELLIEBEAN 7/25/2013 11:01AM

    I totally agree. This morning I updated my status and posted on our team check in that I am looking forward to getting through the day and go running. The reason I posted that is because I am having a zero motivation day.

I want to go home, veg out on the couch with snacks and the remote, my old habit when I'm home alone. So now that I have put it out there, I will more than likely get my run in after work. Most of my blogs are really me talking myself into continuing a healthy habit or attitude instead of sinking back into old ways.

You are on to something here. Keep going!


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A New Thought About My Binge Eating

Monday, July 22, 2013

A new thought hit me this morning, after yet another binge last night.

I was keeping the house free of binge foods, which means sugary foods. I realize carbs have sugar in them, but I don't keep the house free of good carbs. I'd had 200 calories under my calorie range after supper. Then hubby suggested we have popcorn. I said yes, mainly because it was something he suggested we have together. I felt inclined to take him up on his offer, since we eat different things for our meal, even though we eat at the same time. I just thought of this as a bonding time. Silly me. I thought, I'll only have one cup. I ate half the bag. Then he left the living room and kitchen. I didn't leave the kitchen. I scrounged around for anything to eat. I ate a couple bowls of cereal, that didn't even taste good to me. I ate some crackers. I made myself stop at that.

My revelation came this morning. I've always said sweets are my binge food. Now I see that anything can be my binge food. Maybe the popcorn triggered it. The thing that seemed to trigger it was when I went to record the amount of calories I had in the popcorn, it was way higher than I predicted--it was the movie style butter popcorn. Why do I even have that in the house instead of the kind that is light, or no butter? I got this on sale, that's why. It wasn't worth it. For years we didn't even keep popcorn on hand.

I learned that anything can be my binge food. It's the act of binge eating that I have to come to terms with.

I have read in the Bible that we should not love the world or anything of the world. Paul said he had a thorn in his flesh; this feels to me like a thorn in my flesh. The Bible, specifically Jesus, says we are to live by the bread of life alone, referring to the Word of God, the Bible. I have been picking up and reading my Bible more and keeping in mind these thoughts. It has helped me to have peace, knowing that God knows I need to eat, but not have a love affair with food. And that he understands my weaknesses of my mind, binge mentality. I have the best help around, in His word and love and compassion. And also the support I get from SparkPeople friends.

I am still in the process of dealing with binges. But I am not so stressed out about it. I see the stress I've been under. It is a major factor in my binges, to eat out of emotion. I have gradually been letting my hobbies slide. I haven't knitted in many weeks, I haven't worked on my art journal for a couple weeks, and I have slacked off on working out for almost a week now. I don't even feel motivated today. Getting back into these things may help, but I think contemplating my emotions behind binges is key. The art journaling can help me sort out feelings. I think I should start there.

Thank you all for listening! Your kindness means so much to me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KLMEIRING 7/24/2013 8:11PM

    emoticon Hang in there, Lori.

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_JODI404 7/23/2013 11:05PM


I think you are really growing and learning and getting stronger with this great introspection and analysis that you are doing.

I have really been trying to limit my sugar. It is such a vicious cycle that it starts up once you have some, it seems (at least to me) physically difficult to resist having more. Makes moderation challenging! Add in stress and it is really difficult to resist.

It is interesting that any food could trigger you, although I'm sure some are more likely to do so. If you are trying to fill a need or a void or to avoid a feeling -- I guess if you turn to food for comfort/relief/escape... whatever -- then any food would do. I still think you are smart to not keep those most tempting foods in the house.

Staying involved in activities you enjoy is definitely a healthy way to keep your mind off of food. Reading your Bible, art journaling, knitting, walking, swimming are all great things to keep you busy and happy.

You are dealing with some pretty heavy stress right now. I am happy to hear that you are being gentle and kind with yourself at this time. It is a learning experience, and you are learning! This kind of thing will take time to conquer, but you will get there.

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POPSY190 7/23/2013 1:40AM

    I tend to eat my emotions too and I'm reading up about emotional intelligence on line so that I can get to the bottom of it all. Like you, it's not the foods that are really the problem for me, it's what lies behind my impulse to eat, eat, eat that I need to get to grips with. Good luck.

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NOWORNEVER1982 7/22/2013 6:58PM

    It's taken my years to realize that binging is a symptom of something bigger. Seems like you've come to that conclusion as well which I think it brilliant and important! Keep blogging your thoughts, keep logging your calories and keep yourself accountable and the work will pay off. You are amazing and strong and so much bigger than your binging. Keep on working! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TRAVELGRRL 7/22/2013 2:17PM

    As soon as I read "popcorn" my heart started to beat faster! That's a trigger food for me because I LOVE salty, starchy foods (rather than sweets). Easier for me to give them up than try to control.

I am an after-dinner binger. Lately I've had luck eating frozen grapes. They take a long time to eat and are sweet. AND, who EVER binges on fruit?

I think you are making progress figuring this out. Each of us has to find his/her own way, and I thank you for sharing your journey and "aha" moments.

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KNYAGENYA 7/22/2013 1:52PM

    I was going to suggest using hobbies to help defeat the binge cycle and then I read that you have them. Use them like there is no tomorrow. I knit when I feel emotional eating coming on. This way my hands are busy and I get something out of it. Good luck!

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SHERIO5 7/22/2013 12:07PM

    I think you are on target with using your hobbies and art journal today. What a healthy way to sort out emotions and thoughts! Walking alone is helpful to me...

The bible talks about letting our minds dwell on what is pure and lovely...sounds right, doesn't it?

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PENNYSAVER2 7/22/2013 11:23AM

    emoticon Great personal insight. emoticon the compulsion to binge will weaken if you use your tools. Best wishes to you.

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KELLIEBEAN 7/22/2013 10:34AM

    That is great that you are mindful and examining your emotions after a binge. You are learning important lessons about ourself to help you in the future because we learn more from our failures than our mistakes.

Getting back into your hobbies is a great step in the right direction!


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SANDICANE 7/22/2013 9:33AM

    Yep, under stress, and tired, and sick...all triggers for a binge. And as my 9 year old grandson told me yesterday "Nana, too much of even good food is no good for us!" He has learned his lesson much earlier than most.

Hold on tight, and NEVER EVER give up. We will win eventually if we NEVER EVER give up!


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KANOE10 7/22/2013 9:24AM

    When you are under stress, you often lack the energy to focus on yourself. It is easy to let things slide. You are right..any food can serve as a trigger for a binge. I do find if I stay away from high sugar foods that helps.

Ne compassionate to yourself. You are dealing with very stressful issues. I think posting here and journaling are great steps. You will find your motivation again!

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    May today you find the peace from the Word of the Lord as you continue your journey to a healthier version of you! God Bless! emoticon

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Sunshine and Sadness

Sunday, July 21, 2013

The sun has come out! Outside, and in my heart. I have felt the sun shine on me through all your kind and supportive comments on my blogs. I feel the SparkLove through all of you. It really brightens my life.

We have had a dreary summer. At least it hasn't been as hot as normal, but it has been humid with all the rain. Usually cloudy rainy weather depresses me after a few days, but I've been in such good spirits from feeling heathy, that it hasn't gotten me down.

Though this is a sad time for me. My 95 year old friend is dying. He has lost his ability to swallow and chokes when he eats and drinks. I am a companion (hired) to his wife. I've known them and worked for them for 6 years. It's hard not to feel close. I am sad for her especially, and I don't know how I will do trying to comfort her when she loses him. He has been in assisted living for 3 years now, so she is used to him not being at home, though it is still going to be a major loss. To think they have been married 70 years. That's unfathomable, to me.

Keep us all in your thoughts and prayers. She has two daughters and their families living in the area as well.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KLMEIRING 7/24/2013 8:12PM

    Thoughts and prayers are headed your direction today.

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_JODI404 7/21/2013 9:52PM

    Holding you and your dear friends in my prayers. 70 years -- wow! I'm sure it will be very hard for her to lose him, even if he hasn't been a daily presence in recent years.

Glad that despite this sadness, life is feeling brighter for you! That is really great to hear! emoticon

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FIT4MEIN2013 7/21/2013 8:19PM

    Praying for all of you in this difficult time. As a former nurse, I know how close you can get to your patients. Many become friends... emoticon

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NANCYPAT1 7/21/2013 6:19PM

    That is a truly wonderful job you are doing - you wouldn't be as good at what you do if you did NOT become close to them. I will pray for your friend and her hubby - it is hard to lose someone you love but even harder to watch them start to fade away. (HUGS)

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BABY_GIRL69 7/21/2013 5:48PM

    May our God of comfort give you all peace in this time of uncertainty. He will give you strength to continue in love and help with healing process. In Jesus name. Amen.

God bless,


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POPSY190 7/21/2013 5:44PM

    Good you are feeling ok. Although it is very sad about your friends try not to take too much of their grief and loss on yourself. You need to look after yourself first, then you can be a better support to others. emoticon

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HDHAWK 7/21/2013 5:44PM

    It sounds similar to how I feel about my students after working with them and their families for 6 years. I'm sure they are glad to have your friendship. Sounds like you are doing well otherwise.

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LARISSA238 7/21/2013 5:31PM

    *hugs* I can't imagine losing someone after 70 years of marriage. I can't think about losing Geo, and it's only been 8 years for us. My heart goes out to her, and I will keep all of you in my thoughts!

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ANGGEL40 7/21/2013 4:56PM

    Keeping you all in my Prayers..married for 70 years what a Blessing..God Bless you emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/21/2013 4:57:14 PM

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KNYAGENYA 7/21/2013 3:11PM


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CHERYL_ANNE 7/21/2013 3:08PM

    I'll be keeping all of you in my prayers and thoughts and sending good vibes your way.

Is your friend in hospice care in Assisted Living? I ask not from a nosy perspective but as someone who has benefited greatly by the experiences I had first with my Grandma, and then with my stepdad. My Mom also volunteers with a hospice in the bereavement department.

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SHERIO5 7/21/2013 3:02PM

    Hard to fathom is right!

I'm glad they have you as a friend! You'll know what to say and do when the time comes.

I hope you can enjoy the sun while it lasts! emoticon

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ARNETTELEE 7/21/2013 2:53PM

  Thanks for sharing! 70 years is a long time. We celebrate our 40th in November. Will keep thoughts and prayers for your friends.

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Update on Medicine Issues

Saturday, July 20, 2013

I've let several of you know this today, but I want you all to be aware of what has transpired this week.

I contacted my doctor and got the go ahead to decrease my medicine by 2/3, saving quite a bit of money of the medicine. I may even be able to decrease it more once I see him on the 30th. He seemed confident that I should do fine with the decrease. My medicine is for mood stabilization relating to my bipolar disorder. I would ask you all to keep an eye on me. If I start getting depressed and it shows consistently in my writing, or if I get manic, and start writing a lot of stuff that no longer makes sense, please point it out to me. Sometimes I am unaware of these signs and may not go for help very quickly. But I trust your friendship and I will appreciate your feedback. Fortunately I have a good support system in my family and friends. My hubby is very tuned into my moods and actions and can tell very quickly when something is not right. He directs me to my doctor, but sometimes it would help me be serious about getting help if I am hearing it from other people as well that things don't seem quite right with me.

I had to go through 4 days of withdrawal symptoms while I decreased my dose, but that is over now and I feel back to normal. During this week, with all the turmoil about my medicine, I ended up not getting to workout... due to not feeling good, and I didn't control my eating very well. Time to get back on track, and today is going well in that regard!

Thank you all for continued prayers and encouragement!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KLMEIRING 7/24/2013 8:13PM


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KANOE10 7/21/2013 9:03AM

    I am glad you are feeling better and that you feel like yourself again..but with a lower dose. We are all here to support you. I am so glad you have a wonderful family. I know you will get back on track with healthy eating..

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KELLIEBEAN 7/21/2013 8:11AM

    We got your back babe! I'm hoping this is a wonderful new chapter in your life!

Keep on writing!


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POPSY190 7/21/2013 3:10AM

    Will do. All the best.

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_JODI404 7/20/2013 9:39PM

    You know I will be here for you! I hope that the decrease continues to go successfully for you.

Very glad you are feeling better and ready to get back on track!

Prayers & best wishes for continued health & well being... body, mind, & spirit.

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SHERIO5 7/20/2013 8:22PM

    You sound very positive about your decision to reduce your meds! I'm glad the physical symptoms from withdrawal are subsiding now.

Great work on getting back to workouts and eating well today!

Absolutely will keep an eye on you, and praying you continue to do well!

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HDHAWK 7/20/2013 7:01PM

    Good luck with the med change. We'll be keeping an eye on you! emoticon

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CHERYL_ANNE 7/20/2013 6:33PM

    You got it.

I'm so happy to hear you're feeling more "yourself." Also proud to see that you're continuing on your way!

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TRAVELGRRL 7/20/2013 4:35PM

    Good luck with cutting down on your meds! My daughter has bipolar as well and it's quite a wild ride. emoticon I really wish you well.

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