Saturday, July 06, 2013
On the 4th was my 4 year old grandson's birthday party with lots of kids and fireworks! My daughter eats healthfully and provided lots of fruit and veggies. Even vegan gluten free desserts. I am not into the gluten free or vegan thing, but I know she picks all the best ingredients. She is a sous chef for a business called Nourish, and plans to open her own vegan GF bake shop.
The 8&9 year olds are still with us for another week. To add to the confusion, we had the 2 and 4 year old grands here for a sleepover. They came yesterday at 10 in the morning. I was at work and my hubby took the day off to watch them all. He is the best grandfather! He does an excellent job playing with them and feeding them. Four kids is a piece of cake for him. (Stresses me out!)
I got home from work by 3 and had to go chill in my room. I wasn't mentally prepared for the craziness. The kids were all well behaved though. My tension was there though. Duane sent me out for pizza. I saw that they had green olives as an option for their pizza. I hadn't had that in years. He suggested I get a thin crust small olive pizza for myself. I should've know better that in my frame of mind I wouldn't have much self-control. While I was eating it, I rationalized that it was a really small pizza and the crust was ultra-thin...I ate all but 2 small pieces. It was cut in little squares. Then I got into dessert, while everyone else had vacated the kitchen, I munched on cookies and more dessert. I had given myself permission to have a binge. I didn't freak out over the binge. I just decided to move on and learn from my mistakes. Not to have potential binge foods in the house. And to get out of the kitchen when the meal has finished.
You know hose kids who were well behaved? Well, they slept well. The 9 year old and 2 year old shared a room and the 8 and 4 year old shared a room. Amazingly they slept till 6:30. They were great again this morning but when the preschoolers' parents arrived they all got crazy. You see, my SIL is one to wrestle and throw his kids around, acrobatically, and it got all the kids in high gear. I hate when that happens. Ours is a quiet calm family. My SIL is so different from our family. Their kids are still very sweet. He just gets them going. I don't like it at all, but can't say anything. He is who he is. We got them to get going home by telling them we had some errands to do. They had thought they would hang out for a while, but my daughter saw that we wanted to go.
That was the end of that. Things have calmed down. I plan to go work out in a minute. I need my second ST workout for the week.
Did I tell you all that the last time we picked blueberries, we got 8 cups? This was off of 5 bushes. We'd had rain off and on for a couple of days and weren't able to pick them those days, so we had lots of ripe berries that day. Today we are trying to pick again, but it started raining by the time we got 1.5 cups. We have to let them dry, it's not good to pick them wet.
I think I'm stalling...not too eager to go work out. I guess I should remember what I want for myself in the long run. I want to be stronger and the ST workout will help with my strength and metabolism. Working out with the Jillian DVD I'm going to use is circuit style and I will feel energized after the workout. I consider it me time, which I really need.
Sorry for rambling. I needed to let off a little steam.
Monday, July 01, 2013
Before I went to bed last night, the reality hit me that for the next three days I wouldn't have my hubby's help with the grandkids until 5 when he gets home. I don't usually work out after supper, so I was puzzling how I was going to get a workout in the next three days. I wasn't really stressing about it since others have reminded me to make this next two weeks while they are with us a time to focus on my relationship with them. I took that to heart and relaxed about it a bit, with the plan to take any opportunity I find to get 10 minutes exercise in.
I figured out, as I described in my last blog, that I can get some cardio in with the kids. But I like variety, so this morning when I woke up earlier than they did, I had a quick bite of cereal to help me not burn out and did my Jillian No More Trouble Zones workout dvd, which does tons of strength moves in a circuit style. It's not a pretty sight to see me doing that, so I don't want to do it with their little eyes on me, so I was thrilled to get through it without anyone coming knocking on my door. When I peeked out into the living room, my almost 10-yr-old grandson was happily occupied with his Kindle Fire on the couch. I was so proud of him! He's so grown up to just get up and occupy himself.
I think these next two weeks are going to work out just fine. I never thought I'd be able to do what I did yesterday (with working out with them) and this morning. In fact, just this morning I realized my 21 year old son invited us to his pool whenever we want. I bet I'll get some splashing around done today! I hadn't even counted on swimming as a way to get exercise these days.
I feel like a big WooHoo! today!
Sunday, June 30, 2013
First day of the grandkids' visit we started on their own Art Journals. They like using all my art supplies. In the afternoon my hubby watched them so I could do my Jillian dvd. So the first day I was able to spend good time with them and get a great workout in.
Second day, today, I started the morning with a workout. I had my granddaughter settled in with magazines to cut out fodder for her journal. But when I said I was going to go up and work out, she surprised me and said she wanted to work out too! She's 8 1/2, and busied herself while I got on the elliptical. I took a few pictures of her. She didn't do lots of reps or anything, she played with all the little weights, bands, weighted ball, total gym and recumbent bike. I won't let them play on the elliptical, it's too big of a machine and dangerous for them. My grandson came up to see what we were doing, and joined in. They let me take pictures of them. I wanted to share them with you! I thought of having them take a picture of me, too, but never got around to it.
I felt great after 15 minutes on the elliptical and 30 minutes on my bike. All my worrying about getting workouts in was for nothing, I'm happy to say!
Friday, June 28, 2013
The weekend is starting off with a bang. My 9 & 10 year old grandkids are here to stay for 2 weeks. They were at the house with my hubby by the time I got home from work. I was expecting them to be here, so I mentally prepared myself for seeing them. I even wrote a list of things to do with them. One thing is that I want to take picnic and a frisbee, balls and gloves and maybe a kickball to a park. I was tickled when my grandson said he brought his own glove and a ball! I'm really excited about that.
I don't do well when I don't have my space or my quiet. I am a little anxious about them being here that long. I want time to myself for working out. I know they are old enough to occupy themselves long enough for me to get a workout in, but I won't take off and get a walk with them here. Sure, I might be able to get them to walk around the block with me, but it wouldn't be a quick pace. Anyway, a 15 minute walk won't cut it! On two or three days each week I will be going to work, and my hubby will stay home with them. On those days I could probably see if he minds for me to go out and get a long walk in the morning before work. I have my own equipment at home, and don't go to a gym, so at least I can squeeze in some workout time upstairs while the kids read. They love to read so that's a great thing.
My main worries are that 1-I won't get enough workouts in, (won't burn enough calories) and 2-I will eat too much. (I notoriously eat more when I get anxious.)
Though I certainly have begun to feel more confident around my grandkids. The anxiety comes in when I don't have time to myself. I raised 4 kids; I know how little time I had to myself, so I'm not too hopeful that I'll get that me time.
But I love them to pieces and see this as an opportunity to get to know them better. We only see each other once every month or two. We have a good foundation; my daughter and the kids lived with us for 2 years when they were preschoolers.
I also feel more confident that I won't
After I wrote that last line (I was going to end it with the words "binge while they are here"), the kids asked me for a snack. I offered different things. Then I remembered some special cheese I brought back from Wisconsin a few months ago, and offered them cheese and crackers. I've been saving it for a special occasion, seeing it in my cheese drawer often, knowing that the day I open it I'll have a hard time resisting it. I'm sharing it so I won't eat it all. I had some with them and though I went 200 calories over my limit of calories for the day, I didn't all out binge. I can feel good about that!
I feel less anxiety about binge eating since I wrote my blog about my ah ha moment. I've upped my calories a little for each day, and will see how that goes. In the long run, a few more calories each day would never amount to the extreme amount I could shovel in over 2 or 3 binge days per week. By allowing a few extra per day, I don't feel the deprivation and I am not getting that hollow hungry feeling from restricting food and exercising too much.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Yesterday was one of my usual difficult days of my binge/restrict cycle, and I planned to write about how it went. I made it through without a binge, But lets just boil it down to my recap, (and then I'll share my Ah Ha moment.)
Since my last binge on Sunday, I have been "Purging" with excessive exercise and restriction of calories. This is leading to an empty hungry feeling, which lasts all day, and nothing satisfies, even though I'm eating healthy food. Of course I'm hungry. Duh! But this is part of my cycle. I end up hungry, and when that has gone on for a few days, I get desperate to fill myself up. I don't like that hunger hitting me as soon as I've finished eating. After a few days comes excessive eating. A binge. Then I'm full. That brings on the next part of the cycle, trying to overcompensate by excessive exercise and calorie restriction. I know I'm repeating myself here, it's just the nature of the cycle that I'm trying to record here.
Today I got my email notice that TINAJANE76 posted a blog. She's in maintenance and is always motivating and inspiring. She's lost 90 pounds or so and has kept it off for over a year.
So I read it. Here's where my Ah Ha moment came. She referred to the exact thing I go through of cycling, Binge/Restrict. Her insight was that she tweaked her calories to be a little higher so instead of having one big binge weekly, she stayed less deprived feeling and didn't feel the urge to binge! I like this. She also said in her interview for SparkRadio, playing now, that she realized that what she had been doing wasn't working anymore so she was willing to try something new. (her management with slightly higher calories) I find that I keep trying the same thing and not getting results. I've heard before quotes about this, that if you keep trying the same thing you'll keep getting the same results. Something to that effect. I was just thinking about this exact thing this morning on my walk. Thinking,"what can I change to make a difference?" This may make it slower when i want to lose a few pounds I may gain on vacation, etc, as she points out, but slow and steady wins the race!
I can see now something that I want to try! Thanks to TINAJANE76!
I've been praying for a way to break this crazy cycle!
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.
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