Sunday, June 30, 2013
First day of the grandkids' visit we started on their own Art Journals. They like using all my art supplies. In the afternoon my hubby watched them so I could do my Jillian dvd. So the first day I was able to spend good time with them and get a great workout in.
Second day, today, I started the morning with a workout. I had my granddaughter settled in with magazines to cut out fodder for her journal. But when I said I was going to go up and work out, she surprised me and said she wanted to work out too! She's 8 1/2, and busied herself while I got on the elliptical. I took a few pictures of her. She didn't do lots of reps or anything, she played with all the little weights, bands, weighted ball, total gym and recumbent bike. I won't let them play on the elliptical, it's too big of a machine and dangerous for them. My grandson came up to see what we were doing, and joined in. They let me take pictures of them. I wanted to share them with you! I thought of having them take a picture of me, too, but never got around to it.
I felt great after 15 minutes on the elliptical and 30 minutes on my bike. All my worrying about getting workouts in was for nothing, I'm happy to say!
Friday, June 28, 2013
The weekend is starting off with a bang. My 9 & 10 year old grandkids are here to stay for 2 weeks. They were at the house with my hubby by the time I got home from work. I was expecting them to be here, so I mentally prepared myself for seeing them. I even wrote a list of things to do with them. One thing is that I want to take picnic and a frisbee, balls and gloves and maybe a kickball to a park. I was tickled when my grandson said he brought his own glove and a ball! I'm really excited about that.
I don't do well when I don't have my space or my quiet. I am a little anxious about them being here that long. I want time to myself for working out. I know they are old enough to occupy themselves long enough for me to get a workout in, but I won't take off and get a walk with them here. Sure, I might be able to get them to walk around the block with me, but it wouldn't be a quick pace. Anyway, a 15 minute walk won't cut it! On two or three days each week I will be going to work, and my hubby will stay home with them. On those days I could probably see if he minds for me to go out and get a long walk in the morning before work. I have my own equipment at home, and don't go to a gym, so at least I can squeeze in some workout time upstairs while the kids read. They love to read so that's a great thing.
My main worries are that 1-I won't get enough workouts in, (won't burn enough calories) and 2-I will eat too much. (I notoriously eat more when I get anxious.)
Though I certainly have begun to feel more confident around my grandkids. The anxiety comes in when I don't have time to myself. I raised 4 kids; I know how little time I had to myself, so I'm not too hopeful that I'll get that me time.
But I love them to pieces and see this as an opportunity to get to know them better. We only see each other once every month or two. We have a good foundation; my daughter and the kids lived with us for 2 years when they were preschoolers.
I also feel more confident that I won't
After I wrote that last line (I was going to end it with the words "binge while they are here"), the kids asked me for a snack. I offered different things. Then I remembered some special cheese I brought back from Wisconsin a few months ago, and offered them cheese and crackers. I've been saving it for a special occasion, seeing it in my cheese drawer often, knowing that the day I open it I'll have a hard time resisting it. I'm sharing it so I won't eat it all. I had some with them and though I went 200 calories over my limit of calories for the day, I didn't all out binge. I can feel good about that!
I feel less anxiety about binge eating since I wrote my blog about my ah ha moment. I've upped my calories a little for each day, and will see how that goes. In the long run, a few more calories each day would never amount to the extreme amount I could shovel in over 2 or 3 binge days per week. By allowing a few extra per day, I don't feel the deprivation and I am not getting that hollow hungry feeling from restricting food and exercising too much.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Yesterday was one of my usual difficult days of my binge/restrict cycle, and I planned to write about how it went. I made it through without a binge, But lets just boil it down to my recap, (and then I'll share my Ah Ha moment.)
Since my last binge on Sunday, I have been "Purging" with excessive exercise and restriction of calories. This is leading to an empty hungry feeling, which lasts all day, and nothing satisfies, even though I'm eating healthy food. Of course I'm hungry. Duh! But this is part of my cycle. I end up hungry, and when that has gone on for a few days, I get desperate to fill myself up. I don't like that hunger hitting me as soon as I've finished eating. After a few days comes excessive eating. A binge. Then I'm full. That brings on the next part of the cycle, trying to overcompensate by excessive exercise and calorie restriction. I know I'm repeating myself here, it's just the nature of the cycle that I'm trying to record here.
Today I got my email notice that TINAJANE76 posted a blog. She's in maintenance and is always motivating and inspiring. She's lost 90 pounds or so and has kept it off for over a year.
So I read it. Here's where my Ah Ha moment came. She referred to the exact thing I go through of cycling, Binge/Restrict. Her insight was that she tweaked her calories to be a little higher so instead of having one big binge weekly, she stayed less deprived feeling and didn't feel the urge to binge! I like this. She also said in her interview for SparkRadio, playing now, that she realized that what she had been doing wasn't working anymore so she was willing to try something new. (her management with slightly higher calories) I find that I keep trying the same thing and not getting results. I've heard before quotes about this, that if you keep trying the same thing you'll keep getting the same results. Something to that effect. I was just thinking about this exact thing this morning on my walk. Thinking,"what can I change to make a difference?" This may make it slower when i want to lose a few pounds I may gain on vacation, etc, as she points out, but slow and steady wins the race!
I can see now something that I want to try! Thanks to TINAJANE76!
I've been praying for a way to break this crazy cycle!
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
I'm still trying to figure out how to put photos on my blogs. Bear with me. I'm trying it out with a photo of Ingrid and Bjørn.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Today I decided to take pictures of two of my art journal pages, to put them in my blog. I just can't figure out how to put pics in my blog! I think I did it one time a long time ago, but I just can't remember how to do it!
I can put them in my photos, so that's what I did. The pictures are so small, I don't think they do justice to my pages. So check out my photos.
How I made the pages: I laid down pieces of masking tape, drew lines over them with washable markers, and lifted the tape. This left a space to write on. Before writing I used water on a brush to swipe across the marker marks and created a watery effect. Then I wrote in the spaces. But before I even lifted the tape, I traced around the outer borders of the marker marks with a red gel pen.
Art was always my way of creating my own space to inhabit. As a kid I was always drawing and coloring. In school I excelled in art. I had a concentration in art in high school. Would've gone on to art college, if I hadn't gotten married at age 18. I did take two night classes before I had kids, just for fun. I always did art with my kids, who turned out to be very artistic, all four of them. But after they were on their own doing projects without my help, I rarely worked on anything other than fiber crafts. Still art in it's own way, I was still working with my hands.
My hubby always encourages me to paint. I like watercolor painting. But I rarely felt inspired, never knowing what to paint. Recently I saw a publication called Art Journaling and it caught my eye. I was getting some ideas of what to try, but didn't do it for over a year. In a book store I came across a couple of books explaining visual journaling. I was hooked and bought my first 5x7 100 page journal. I went for small pages, because large was kind of overwhelming to me. I finished it between February and May. I decided to challenge myself on my second one and bought a large journal. It's going great so far! I really love doing this. It incorporates all sorts of mediums, including writing, which I absolutely adore, and there is absolutely no right or wrong way of doing it.
Writing the affirmations in the spaces is just another way of cementing them into my brain. I tend to go back again and again over my journal pages, re-reading what I wrote.
Try it sometime!
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