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My AH HA! moment

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Yesterday was one of my usual difficult days of my binge/restrict cycle, and I planned to write about how it went. I made it through without a binge, But lets just boil it down to my recap, (and then I'll share my Ah Ha moment.)

Since my last binge on Sunday, I have been "Purging" with excessive exercise and restriction of calories. This is leading to an empty hungry feeling, which lasts all day, and nothing satisfies, even though I'm eating healthy food. Of course I'm hungry. Duh! But this is part of my cycle. I end up hungry, and when that has gone on for a few days, I get desperate to fill myself up. I don't like that hunger hitting me as soon as I've finished eating. After a few days comes excessive eating. A binge. Then I'm full. That brings on the next part of the cycle, trying to overcompensate by excessive exercise and calorie restriction. I know I'm repeating myself here, it's just the nature of the cycle that I'm trying to record here.

Today I got my email notice that TINAJANE76 posted a blog. She's in maintenance and is always motivating and inspiring. She's lost 90 pounds or so and has kept it off for over a year.

So I read it. Here's where my Ah Ha moment came. She referred to the exact thing I go through of cycling, Binge/Restrict. Her insight was that she tweaked her calories to be a little higher so instead of having one big binge weekly, she stayed less deprived feeling and didn't feel the urge to binge! I like this. She also said in her interview for SparkRadio, playing now, that she realized that what she had been doing wasn't working anymore so she was willing to try something new. (her management with slightly higher calories) I find that I keep trying the same thing and not getting results. I've heard before quotes about this, that if you keep trying the same thing you'll keep getting the same results. Something to that effect. I was just thinking about this exact thing this morning on my walk. Thinking,"what can I change to make a difference?" This may make it slower when i want to lose a few pounds I may gain on vacation, etc, as she points out, but slow and steady wins the race!

I can see now something that I want to try! Thanks to TINAJANE76!

I've been praying for a way to break this crazy cycle!

Psalm 116:1-2
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PACKERMANN 7/15/2013 5:28PM

    thank you for helping me realize that even after i reach my goal that i will still have challenges that i will face.
on a plateau now: 45lbs down...25lbs to go.
i think consistent exercise is called for... :)

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FOURTEEN2FOUR 7/13/2013 4:16PM

  I never thought of calorie restriction and excessive exercise as "purging." Interesting. I'm quite familiar with bingeing, though... ;-)

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AALLEY2 7/12/2013 11:24PM

    emoticon emoticon

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-SHOREIDO- 7/12/2013 4:52PM

    "Slow and steady wins the race" love it and its Oh so true...... Good work here!! emoticon

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SUSIEMT 7/12/2013 11:22AM

    Wow! Good luck!

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2BEHEALTHY2014 7/12/2013 10:34AM

    Best wished on your journey!

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KIMBERLY_Y 7/12/2013 9:05AM

    Terrific story! You are an inspiration too! Keep up the good work.

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LRSILVER 7/12/2013 6:52AM

    Good luck. Glad you are making positive changes.

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JSTETSER 7/12/2013 6:09AM

    Great info!

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MAREE1953 7/12/2013 3:39AM

    I discovered that each time you beat "The Itch" (Nell's word), you are training your brain and developing new pathways or rewiring your brain. As these pathways become stronger, it becomes easier to resist the previous response. So, each time you resist the urge to binge with some mindful alternative behavior, try thinking that you will be building a new brain "muscle" and become stronger.

Eventually I began to hate that "over full" feeling. I also learned that I couldn't "out exercise" a bad diet.

Always wish you the very best in finding your pathway in this journey to health and fitness!!

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LOGOULD 7/11/2013 11:36PM

    Wow, I've been on that same roller coaster. I am currently giving the new nutrition/fitness link a try and so far, add back SOME of the calories I burned off. It really DOES seem to keep me from getting TOO Hungry!.

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LOGOULD 7/11/2013 11:34PM

    Wow, I've been on that same roller coaster. I am currently giving the new nutrition/fitness link a try and so far, add back SOME of the calories I burned off. It really DOES seem to keep me from getting TOO Hungry!.

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IAMAGEMLOVER 7/11/2013 11:15PM

    emoticon emoticon

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GRANDMABABA 7/11/2013 10:29PM

    Great insights. Thanks for sharing.

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SLENDERELLA61 7/11/2013 5:25PM

    Great blog and great comments! I struggle at times, too, even though I've been at a healthy weight for over 4 years now. Your blog helps me think about all the things I do to combat hunger: adequate protein, plenty of water, high fiber, timing my meals wisely, enough physical activity, food tracking and analysis, super foods and smart food choices, etc. It's a lot of work, but it is worth it. And occasionally I mess up and I've learned that that is okay. Do the best I can each day and that is good enough. Take care and congratulations on being highlighted by the At Goal & Maintaining Team Plus....... -Marsha

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DSJB9999 7/11/2013 1:24PM

    emoticon emoticon

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VTRICIA 7/11/2013 1:17PM

    Too true! When I finally internalized the wisdom of eating what I need each day and sticking to the same nutrition goals no matter the occasion, I no longer worried about whether I could maintain successfully. Give us this day our daily bread [nourishment].

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WATERMELLEN 7/11/2013 1:03PM

    Great blog -- and so many terrific comments too. This is an amazing community where we get to share our collective wisdom and tailor individual solutions that work!!

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TUBLADY 7/11/2013 11:42AM

    I used to think that what worked for one should work for another. Of course I was wrong. I had to figure out by trial and error what worked for me. If I was to eat the amount of calories I am supposed to have to maintain I would steadily gain weight. I don't try to be strict and deprive myself for surely I will give in to binges. I do my best to eat healthy but include foods that I have to limit portions but keep me feeling that I am getting and enjoying everything I used to have but a lot less and coupled with exercise, I have been able to maintain.
I also track daily, exercise daily and weigh daily. Don't let the few pounds stick around long enough to get comfortable.
I wish you the best as you journey forth in the never ending saga of controlling weight and good health.
Be strong, stay positive
Tisha emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PROUD-GRANDMA 7/11/2013 11:30AM

    Thank you for sharing!

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MANILUS 7/11/2013 8:51AM

    Great job on the weight loss and maintenance! Hope you find what works!

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MOMMY445 7/11/2013 8:12AM

    i hope the new plan works really good for you. have a wonderful day!

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MEXGAL1 7/11/2013 8:02AM

    I think slow and steady is a good thing. I beat binge eating by telling myself I could eat whatever I wanted as long as I ate something really healthy first like a salad or fruit and nuts. Most of the time I do that I then do not want the junk food. I am satisfied.
great blog. thanks for sharing.

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    Very interesting insight! I really never thought of this as a pattern very similar to binging and then purging. Thanks much for sharing this.
I also like the way you posed a question (to my intuition, the Universe, to God)
and then took a walk. I like to do things like that too and find that I get answers and insights.

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CELIAMINER 7/11/2013 7:46AM

    I wonder if I might have managed not to binge last night had I read your blog AND the comments yesterday. So much of my own experience is reflected here, and I'm thinking I need to shake things up a bit. Thanks for posting!

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_LINDA 7/11/2013 7:38AM

    Have you looked closely at the nutrient ratios you are getting with your meals? I find its very important to get them right or you will feel hunger quite quickly after eating. You need enough protein, but you also need enough fat too. Fat slows down digestion and keeps you fuller longer. I am a vegetarian and had been on that kick where everything I ate had to be no fat. So I would eat my veggies or salad and no fat dairy serving and in not too long feel hungry again. So I would binge on my favorite salty snack. So I added healthy fats to my salads like walnuts (more antioxidents then blueberries!) or made my own dressing with olive oil. It works much better. Careful tracking has allowed me to maintain for over two years. I don't think I will ever give it up like some people do. It really helps if you track after each meal to see how many calories you have left in your range when you eat your last meal or snack of the day.
All the best breaking the binge/purge cycle!
emoticon emoticon

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TRAVELGRRL 7/11/2013 7:15AM

    I can relate as well. I try to eat 500 calories combined, for breakfast and lunch, and "save" the rest of my calories for dinner and snacking. But after a week or so, I end up bingeing! So I'm going to try this strategy as well. I also got my own Aha! moment with NELLJONES's response, so geez, it's only 6:00 a.m. and I've learned TWO NEW THINGS for the day! Thanks for your blog.

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NELLJONES 7/11/2013 6:31AM

    I have been at goal for a very long time now. Way back when I was fat I used to compensate for overeating by overuse of laxatives, and they had some pretty powerful ones back then. (Phenolphthalein anyone?) I joined WW and the Plan was very restrictive by today's standards, but I lost the weight. But how to keep it off? Nobody told me that most people gain it all back. Today I live by calorie restriction, but I hate that clinical word. I prefer planning, and even after 40 years I plan each day to the ounce. Sometimes I am hungry, but not really. Last night I thought I was hungry, but I'd eaten a good dinner, so it wasn't hunger, it was what I call The Itch. It isn't food in my stomach that I want, but the feeling of chewing and swallowing, feeling it go down. And that desire doesn't end with fullness, but an empty bag. That's why I keep NO snack food in the house, it's too easy to grab, so I have time to go through the script: I'm not hungry, I want SOMETHING but I don't know what it is. Maybe I'll...do my nails, wash my hair, play with the cats, pull a few weeds, anything to divert my attention. I have learned that the Itch only lasts 20-30 minutes, IF I don't give in. If I give in, it lasts until I'm done, and wallowing in despair. Which in turn triggers The Itch. I just need to get through that 20 minutes, divert my attention, knowing down to the marrow of my bones that it will pass. I have over 40 years of experience that it does pass. I look at my planner and see what my next meal will be, what time I can have it, and start looking forward to it. Every meal is like Christmas to me. We all plan for Christmas, make lists, get excited. Then it's over for another year. I only have a few hours until my next meal. I get THREE MEALS EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! It's just an attitude that makes me not just get through the day, but relish each time I get to eat.

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MILLIFRED 7/11/2013 6:16AM

    I'm so glad for you. I've noticed for myself that if weight loss has stalled or I am gaining again I just needed to find a way to change things around and rethink what I was doing. It sounds like a great idea to set your calories a little higher so you aren't hungry all the time; otherwise you will be hitting these points where you just can't stand it anymore and overeating to compensate. Be of good courage and do as your quotes says, trust in God for help.

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KANOE10 7/11/2013 6:13AM

    Great blog. You are an inspiration. Hugs.


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HDHAWK 7/3/2013 11:50AM

    On a podcast I listened to one of the people who has lost a lot of weight and kept it off said she allows herself 200 cals. per day of anything she wants.

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KANOE10 6/27/2013 4:39PM

    Great ah ha moment and nice blog. I am glad you found something to help you in healthy eating. Thanks for sharing!

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NOWORNEVER1982 6/27/2013 7:51AM

    Great blog! I can personally relate to your binge/restrict cycles as I'm sure many others can too. It seems you're on to something that may help you. It's a process but it works if you work it. And I do love that quote about doing the same thing and wanting different results. "They" say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I'm definitely insane then but I think you're on to something. Thanks for sharing!

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  I just love what you had to say, thanks.

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TINAJANE76 6/26/2013 6:06PM

    Wow, I'm so glad to hear that my blog and interview were helpful to you. It hasn't been easy to beat down the binge/restrict cycle, but I think I'm getting it down and it's making maintenance, and life, so much better. Good luck in doing the same!

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_JODI404 6/26/2013 5:51PM

    emoticon Love those AH HA moments!!

Yes ~ this is a process that involves constant tweaking. I am always looking for ways to make my food choices even healthier. I find eating more protein has helped a lot to curb my snacky hunger urges between meals. I've found healthier snack choices that really satisfy me. I am trying to eat as little sugar as possible (excluding fruits -- I eat a lot of those!)

I hope that this will be the change that you need. Your current cycle is definitely not good, and I know you already know that. (especially the restriction/hunger). One could never exercise enough, it takes hours and hours to burn so many calories. I find it is so true, you can't out-exercise a bad diet.

I hope this is the answer that you have been looking for. It makes a lot of sense to me. Best wishes and keep seeking those answers from Him!

emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/26/2013 5:53:20 PM

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BABY_GIRL69 6/26/2013 2:39PM

    Isn't wonderful to have those moments when you just breath a sigh of relief and start accomplishing your goals?!

God bless & enjoy everyday!


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KELLIEBEAN 6/26/2013 12:33PM

    Yay for you. Tinajajane is very inspiring for sure. Variety is the spice of life in all things I believe. I think our bodies need change to keep responding, and many times our minds too!


I hope this new plan works very well for you.


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SHERIO5 6/26/2013 11:49AM

    Awesome! Spark Friends can can really be a blessing!

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My Sweet Grandchildren in Hawaii

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

I'm still trying to figure out how to put photos on my blogs. Bear with me. I'm trying it out with a photo of Ingrid and Bjørn.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERYL_ANNE 6/26/2013 10:04AM

    Oh my gosh -- so, so cute!

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SHERIO5 6/26/2013 9:35AM

    Awww, precious!

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KANOE10 6/26/2013 8:36AM

    Cute kids. I am trying to figure out how to put photos in my blogs also.

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_JODI404 6/25/2013 10:58PM

    They are precious ~ great picture!!

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KELLIEBEAN 6/25/2013 10:35PM

    That's the bet thing I've seen all day. So precious!

Congratulations to everyone in your family!

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AALLEY2 6/25/2013 8:30PM

    Adorable! How lucky you are!

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LARISSA238 6/25/2013 8:17PM

    So cute!

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HDHAWK 6/25/2013 8:08PM

    So sweet!

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JUNEAU2010 6/25/2013 7:53PM


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GINNABOOTS 6/25/2013 7:51PM

    That is precious!

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LORILEEPAGE 6/25/2013 7:30PM

    I did it! Now I have to remember how I did it!

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Affirmations Pages of My Art Journal

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Today I decided to take pictures of two of my art journal pages, to put them in my blog. I just can't figure out how to put pics in my blog! I think I did it one time a long time ago, but I just can't remember how to do it!

I can put them in my photos, so that's what I did. The pictures are so small, I don't think they do justice to my pages. So check out my photos.

How I made the pages: I laid down pieces of masking tape, drew lines over them with washable markers, and lifted the tape. This left a space to write on. Before writing I used water on a brush to swipe across the marker marks and created a watery effect. Then I wrote in the spaces. But before I even lifted the tape, I traced around the outer borders of the marker marks with a red gel pen.

Art was always my way of creating my own space to inhabit. As a kid I was always drawing and coloring. In school I excelled in art. I had a concentration in art in high school. Would've gone on to art college, if I hadn't gotten married at age 18. I did take two night classes before I had kids, just for fun. I always did art with my kids, who turned out to be very artistic, all four of them. But after they were on their own doing projects without my help, I rarely worked on anything other than fiber crafts. Still art in it's own way, I was still working with my hands.

My hubby always encourages me to paint. I like watercolor painting. But I rarely felt inspired, never knowing what to paint. Recently I saw a publication called Art Journaling and it caught my eye. I was getting some ideas of what to try, but didn't do it for over a year. In a book store I came across a couple of books explaining visual journaling. I was hooked and bought my first 5x7 100 page journal. I went for small pages, because large was kind of overwhelming to me. I finished it between February and May. I decided to challenge myself on my second one and bought a large journal. It's going great so far! I really love doing this. It incorporates all sorts of mediums, including writing, which I absolutely adore, and there is absolutely no right or wrong way of doing it.

Writing the affirmations in the spaces is just another way of cementing them into my brain. I tend to go back again and again over my journal pages, re-reading what I wrote.

Try it sometime!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHERIO5 6/26/2013 9:37AM

    Wow! What a great way to express yourself!

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POPSY190 6/25/2013 8:55PM

    The art journaling sounds wonderful. emoticon

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_JODI404 6/25/2013 4:52PM

    emoticon Your art journaling sounds just perfect for you!!

I'm glad it is helping you, and your affirmations pages look really great!!


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SCOTMAMA 6/25/2013 3:05PM

    It's easier to add photo's to a blog than to add them to your page. As you are typing your blog, when you want a photo, just click on add picture and follow the path.

I will, however, go to your page and see what you've done. It sounds like a wonderful hobby and something you should not push into the background. Use your talent, there are probably lots of ways of using it -- blogging about it will help as you could get some feedback from other people with a like interest. Good Luck!

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Getting Real With Myself

Saturday, June 22, 2013

I am talking to myself right now. Trying to overcome the feelings of self-recrimination I'm having. Feel free to listen in. I'd be encouraged by any comments. Help me love myself better.

I binged today. I am so angry with myself for doing what I did. What's the matter with me!?

I need to think of some affirmations.

I am loved by God.
God loves me in spite of my binge
Jesus forgives me
I am healthy
I am whole
I can stop beating myself up
God wants what's best for me. He wouldn't want me to beat myself up over this, or to be
unkind to myself
I have a family who loves me
I am strong
I have come a long way
I can get past this
I am a loving person
I am kind
I am patient
I have compassion on others, I can be compassionate to myself
I love others
I forgive others freely, I can forgive myself
I am a positive person
I am loyal
I am trustworthy
I have many friends who care about me
My friends wouldn't want me to be so hard on myself
I am learning how to overcome binge eating.
Today was a learning experience
I can break the cycle of binge/purge by not purging with exercise today
I will do what feels healthy.

I feel better. My anger has dissipated. I no longer feel the urge to purge and will just do my usual workout.


Many of the things I can say here are things I am hearing in my head are things many of you who have commented on my blogs have said to me at one time or another. For these comments I am very grateful.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_JODI404 6/27/2013 9:33PM

    Your list of affirmations is wonderful!! How powerful and awesome!!

It is natural to be upset after a binge you have worked hard to avoid. This is a learning process, and it takes time! Please don't be too hard on yourself. It is NOT an easy thing to overcome, so perfection should definitely not be an expectation.
Do your best... staying positive, and treating yourself with the same loving-kindness that you would to others.

I hope this list will help you, I think it is a GREAT idea that would be really helpful to reference when you may struggle.

I saw this picture on another blog regarding H A L T / binges. You may already be familiar with this, but thought I would include it if it could help at all. (cut/paste to view)


Cheers to continuous learning, and continuous improvement!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KANOE10 6/23/2013 11:11AM

    It is good for you to express your emotions. Be compassionate with yourself. We all learn on our journey to health. You are learning to accept yourself and go on. You can do it.


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POPSY190 6/23/2013 3:10AM

    Well done for standing back and assessing what is going on.

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LARISSA238 6/22/2013 9:36PM

    You are all those things on that list and more! Don't let one little slip up throw you off! I'm trying to quit fast food and I've had a couple of slip ups, but I just try and dust myself off and start back at day 1.

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    You're only human! Be gentle with yourself. The list is a great idea and you should print it out and keep it with you so you can refer to it whenever needed. Don't let one binge define who you are. You are a child of God and that's all that matters. emoticon

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JULIAINLA 6/22/2013 4:24PM

    Wonderful list... re-read it till you realize all is well....life is filled with ups and downs...hope you feel joy again soon...I'm sure its just around the corner...:) emoticon

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SHERIO5 6/22/2013 3:27PM

    Looks like progress to me! I think when we can start treating ourselves as kind as we treat our loved ones, then real healing can come!

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CHICKPEA23 6/22/2013 1:53PM

    It sounds like you've already given yourself forgiveness and a clean slate. It's still a beautiful Saturday, and it's important to be compassionate to yourself, as you mentioned. Every affirmation you listed is true! I hope you are able to enjoy the rest of your day.

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    Great job calming yourself down! 1 step back, 2 steps forward! You're only failing if you choose to not get back up :) Hang in there!

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Friday, June 21, 2013

We are now starting to harvest blueberries! We've had the bushes for 3 years, this is the 4th. Every year so far the birds ate all the berries, but this year my hubby made a mesh cage around them. He calls it a bird cage, since a couple of times a bird has found it's way inside.

Yesterday I picked the first berries. I had a nice handful, off of the five bushes. It's only the beginning, the bushes are full of berries this year.

I ate them all while standing outside, savoring their yumminess. I can't wait to be able to put some on my oatmeal in the morning.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LARISSA238 6/23/2013 5:22PM

    Yay for growing your own food! And yummy food at that!

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PAMNANGEL 6/22/2013 5:12PM

    Mmmm mmmm!

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JULIAINLA 6/22/2013 4:40PM

    That is delightful. I lovvvee blueberries....

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LIVINGFREE19 6/21/2013 10:45PM


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_JODI404 6/21/2013 10:36PM

    How awesome!! I love them in pancakes. They are also one of many fruits I use in my smoothies.



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KELLIEBEAN 6/21/2013 9:47PM

    That is great. Yumo!

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CHERYL_ANNE 6/21/2013 7:24PM


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BARCLE 6/21/2013 5:42PM

    emoticon yummy!

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