Sunday, June 09, 2013
I start this out on a negative note, but don't worry! In the end I get my attitude in line!
I was expecting my daughter and her 9 and 8 year olds to come for an overnighter yesterday. I was mentally prepared, or so I thought. The 9 year old boy was a joy this time, but his sister was drama queen last night and this morning. Wow. Emotional. Deanna said that either one or the other has a period of this, alternating with each other. So I'm not looking forward to their 2 different stays with us this summer, a week each time. Fortunately my husband does most of the work. My mental health is often jeopardized by extended visits. But I must say as I have gotten older, I've adjusted better to this. Mostly I succumb to eating to distract from my stress.
Yesterday got complicated by my other daughter's family showing up. Her pregnant self with her hubby and two kids in tow.
They never show up unannounced and they got here at dinner time. I had nothing to feed them since they eat vegan and I hadn't been to the grocery store. No veggies on hand except the sweet potato that I had baked fries out of just when they arrived. She is VERY temperamental when she gets hungry when she is pregnant (didn't we all?) and never can decide what she is hungry for.
I was so relieved when they decided to get themselves food, and didn't want us to worry about that. They were smart, knowing that they unfairly showed up at a meal time. These vegan folks bend their own rules especially during her pregnancy since she craves pizza and wheat this pregnancy (they also try to stay away from gluten)
Their kids are 3 and 2, so you can imagine the added commotion! Their dad and the 3 year old hearing aids, yet everyone has to speak loudly and enunciate for them. Which adds to the commotion.
To top it off, the 8 year old girl doesn't have patience for the little ones. She spent most of the time in the bedroom overcoming her attitudes.
I just busied myself at the sink. Only ate my sweet potato fries and some nuts. Talked with whichever child was playing nicely and pulled out a new toy for the kids. We all played with it, it is a set of sewing cards made out of wood, which they all liked. It occupied the most rambunctious 3 year old boy. I think he gets crazy because he is bored. He's a very intelligent kid. Almost 4.
My daughters pulled out my ice cream freezer and made lemon Strawberry sorbet. It was so very sweet. They put the whole 2 cups of sugar in it! And they usually don't let their kids eat sugar! Very strange. But it was fun, all except for the motor running for almost an hour. That I think was the most stressful part for me, the noise of the motor.
The good in all this is that I got to see 4 of my grands, and got to love up on them. And my daughters had a nice time together.
Best of all, I did not binge! In spite of all the stress. I kept in mind that it was my 21st day of my binge free streak. Three whole weeks! And I certainly didn't want to blow it.
Today I am being watchful and prayerful that I don't have decompression of stress by eating, now that they have all left. (only one of my daughters' family stayed with us overnight) I set in my mind a plan before i got out of bed. I was going to talk to my hubby and write in my prayer journal about all my feelings about the surprise visit and the stressful parts. I see now that it helped just now to also jot down the things I'm thankful for about the visit. The good points.
I'm sure you all would like to share with me how thankful I should be that I have a family in the first place, and that they love each other an they love me. I am thankful but needed to decompress a little. Thank you for any of you who were patient with me and willing to read my complaints. Complaining is of no value. I don't think it is one of my attractive characteristics. I want to grow into a kind, loving person, no matter what stress comes my way!
Saturday, June 01, 2013
After a more sedentary type day yesterday (walking only 4000 steps throughout the day and not having a workout), I am off to a great start today.
I have a new Amy Grant album downloaded and I love the things she's singing about, it's quite upbeat and a great one to walk to. This morning it was a warm 75 degrees, a touch humid, but it's supposed to be 90 today and I decided to get my walk in early. 8:00 I took off. Funny how I start out thinking I'll only walk around the short loop (45 min.), then when I feel how stuffy the air is and how it seems to make my steps drag, I think maybe I'll just go around the block, 15 minutes.
I got into my music and took off at a very brisk pace and once I got going I decided I'm going to go for 70 minutes. I thought about it a little more and I pictured what route I would take.
It's a route that I've done parts of before but never combined them all. So I had fun. I tried not to look at my stopwatch on my iPhone very often. I kinda wanted to be surprised in the end how long I walked. But near the end I looked at my pedometer and saw that I had reached 4 miles. I made a decision that I would go for that last mile.
Walking a mile takes me 20 minutes, and those last 20 minutes my pace had slowed. I had sweat a lot, and I hate carrying water while I walk, so naturally I ran out of umpf.
I DID IT! I haven't walked that far since I was 41 years old, I'm now 54, and have developed arthritis in my big toe, and have a weakness in my left ankle from nerve damage I got when I had a ruptured disc a few years back. So I think I did pretty darn well!
This week I walked a lot. Some days a good deal of the steps were from walks, but they also include activity all day; I wear the pedometer all day. I made 10,600 one day, 15,000 the next, 13,700 and 13,200 the following days.
I hope you all have a wonderful, active weekend with sane eating! That's what I'm striving for!
Friday, May 31, 2013
My neighbor, Bob, likes to bake and deliver goodies to us. Last weekend he brought over a strawberry jello/cool whip pie. I didn't want it. Oh I would eat it if I started a binge with something else. Or I suppose if I tasted it to be able to tell him it was good, I would start binging on it.
After 6 days, I decided I didn't want it in the house anymore. My hubby had eaten a slice when it was fresh, but it sat there and the juices from the strawberries started seeping and it just didn't look appealing at all. So in the end it wasn't hard to throw it out this morning. Down the disposal it went. I felt good about that. Really good. I hadn't even tasted it. What tastes good is the victory!
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Yesterday I was faced with situations that were dangerous for me. I was exposed to foods that would probably trigger a binge.
First, I went for an oil change. The good thing is that I wasn't even going there thinking of the Krispy Kreme donuts they keep for people who are waiting. FREE. I usually have one or two (I go in the morning while they still have some.) Then I have the mentality of "well I've blown it on calories today, so who cares if I go for everything I desire." Once I was there I saw a man taking a bite out of a donut and was reminded that they were available. I told myself a firm no and forgot about it. That wasn't as hard as it would have been earlier in this binge-free streak.
While I was waiting for the car, I walked over to the nearby Starbucks. I decided on my treat to be a skinny vanilla latte (iced). While I was waiting to be waited on, I saw their sweets display and eyed up the rice krispy bars. That is a rather low calorie choice, I told myself, but shook my head and told myself no. Made my order for my latte and moved on.
After the oil change, I talked a while with the salesman. Got some numbers on a car purchase war were thinking of making later that day. No food problems there, except it got to be 11:30 and I was getting hungry. I had to go to the grocery store and thought i should go home and eat something first.
But I decided I would wait so my lunch wouldn't be so early. I went in the store and the walk from the door to the produce department takes my right through the bakery. I scanned the ad for their sales when coming in and saw that they had a special on pound cakes, so when I was going through the bakery I came right past the table with the cakes on it. I stopped, and spotted the sour cream pound cake and gazed at it, debating with myself if I was going to get it. Thought about how moist it might be. Then I glanced up and took in the sight of all the other goodies and caught myself in the act and asked myself "what are you doing?!!!! WALK AWAY!" I went and got my baby carrots and thanked God for helping me see what I was doing. I made it out of the store with my groceries which included a planned treat. I had seen a few days ago a kind of vanilla biscuit made in Israel, that are 35 calories for two. Just a perfect treat for after a meal. Not heavy on sugar so it doesn't trigger binges for me.
I went home, had a healthy lunch and two biscuits.
Again I had to expose myself to food. After lunch I went to Trader Joes to get my wild blueberries for my oats in the morning. I picked up a few things and the cookies caught my eye, but not for long. I was satisfied from my biscuits. I was full from my lunch.
I managed to get a 45 minute walk before my son asked me to meet him for coffee. I wasn't even tempted by treats.
One more issue came up that day. We were buying a car after we'd eaten at Firehouse Subs. At Firehouse I bought the sandwich as a combo so I could get a bag of chips to take home for some evening with supper. I put them in our truck, which we proceeded to trade in for a car. (YAY! I finally have another corolla...I'd given mine to my son a few years ago, and boy did I miss that car.) When we cleaned out the truck my hubby gave me my chips. I walked around carrying them while we waited for the new car to be prepared for us to take home. I worked hard to not eat them. I was really tempted. I told my hubby that I was struggling to not eat them. That diffused it and I realized that I really didn't want them.
I'm surprised that I'm finding it easier to say no. I am not out of the woods, I know. But I feel if I continue in the prayerful mindset, I will do well. One thing I read recently is to not make such a big deal if you have a hiccup and mess up one day. Feeling like it's so terrible and that it's the end of the world if you blow it only sets you up to perpetuate the cycle of binges/restriction.
So that was DAY ELEVEN. SUCCESS!
Right now I'm happy with my calorie level and exercise routine, and I don't feel so stressed with "OH NO when is it going to happen next?!!" I"m a lot more chill.
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