Wednesday, May 22, 2013
I am on pins and needles waiting for my next grandson to be born. Mommy's (my daughter-in-law's) due date is today. The baby has dropped way low as she describes it. Now she's breathing a lot easier. They live in Hawaii and I won't be able to go see the baby until October, at least that's the plan at this point. I'd rather go sooner, and my hubby is so baby crazy that I can't imagine him waiting that long. Cross your fingers that I'll get to go sooner. They haven't picked a name yet. My son is doing some Ancestry.com work to find names from his heritage that might be possibilities.
A month ago my daughter, who has two kids under 4, found out she's due to have baby number 3 in December. Her first one was born on the 4th of July, the second was born the day before Valentines Day, and this one is due the 20th of Dec. Which is a set up for a Christmas baby!
My other daughter, the older one, who has two kids age 8 and 9 revealed March 1st that she is engaged! That wedding is going to be on Aug 10 this year. (No babies in this case, but as long as I was sharing exciting news, I thought I'd throw in the engagement.)
Sunday, March 10, 2013
"it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." -Galatians 5:1
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon me and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light." -Jesus in the book of Matthew.
"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." -Galatians 1:10
I am a people pleaser. Especially when it comes to worrying what other people think about my body. I get so consumed by trying to eat and exercise for the purpose of bettering the look of my body that I no longer strive to serve God.
I need to focus on servitude.
I need to live by the Spirit; work on allowing the Spirit's fruit to be expressed in my life. These fruits are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, FAITHFULNESS and SELF-CONTROL.
Faithful to God being my god and not letting my stomach be my god. Including allowing the Spirit be expressed in my self-control in my eating habits. With the Spirit in me I do have the capacity to have self-control.
I have an obsession about my weight. I'm having thoughts pertaining to what God may feel about weight. (one time I read a scripture, Isaiah 53:2 that left me with the impression that physical beauty is not something God would care about, though I do know our health matters. This verse states "He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground, He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him." If you read it in context you can see it is a prophesy about Jesus.)
Mark 11:23 records Jesus saying,"Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him." God is happy to help us with our attitudes of the heart that trip us up and take our eyes off of him. The thing I am now planning to cast into the sea is my frame of mind that is my obsession with my body.
What would it mean to be done with my obsession?
No more constant weigh-ins.
No more focus on calories, but on portion size and healthy eating, no more binges.
Enjoy what I eat but eat for hunger not cravings.
No more talking about, and boring others in my family about calories and workouts.
I'd still exercise regularly, without being obsessed with counting every calorie I'm burning.
I'd still take care of my body.
I'd have more mental time for giving to others and be less self focused.
I wouldn't have body image problems, I'd set aside self-consciousness.
I know this is the right thing to do. My faith dictates it.
But it is hard.
What makes it hard? my selfishness gets in the way of my faith.
It is right, it is good, it is godly. I have the Spirit's power and the Spirit is nudging me to consider this. The Spirit is reassuring me. It's a big change after 30 years of counting calories and obsession.
"Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things." -Philippians 3:8
These things are what I want to focus on and God by serving people. I will not be devoted to SparkPeople over devotion to my God. I get too wrapped up in focusing on what people think and say to me; not negative comments by other SparkPeople, because I never have had those, but all the yearning for praise that I do.
Saturday, March 02, 2013
I started the day discouraged that I haven't lost any weight that I gained this past few weeks with company here. I gained 4 pounds and though I'm still within range of my maintenance numbers, I want to get back down to 144. I was sulking about it this morning and my hubby, who was in pain from his shoulder injury, told me to stop thinking about myself and think about others. He made a lot of sense. It was silly of me to be obsessing about my weight when he was in pain. He did offer to go to the mall to walk a 1 mile lap. He said it would take his mind off of his pain.
So we walked at the mall, before the stores were open, so we could go along at a really good pace. He couldn't stand to do any more than that, but I was grateful he helped me get out.
Then in the afternoon I told him I planned to do my ST, but wasn't motivated. He asked me if I listen to music when I do ST. I said no, I don't have a good way to do it. He found an old pair of speakers and found a cord that would connect my iPhone up to them so I could listen to my favorite tunes. I listen when I walk, because I can carry my phone in my pocket. But I don't have an arm band for my phone, and when I lay down to do exercises on my back, my headphones fall off. Anyway, his solution was perfect and I was very motivated, not just by the music, but by his kindness and efforts to help me with my goals.
I love my hubby!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
This month is about over and it was a good one for our family. Lots of great family gatherings. I faltered quite a bit with binges happening quite a bit, with all the stress the good times brought, but I'm only a few pounds up and will be able to concentrate on getting rid of them in March.
I had a potentially emotional day with my son and his family and my 21 year old son taking off to fly to Hawaii tonight. They have to spend 13 hours in the air plus a 12 hour layover overnight tonight. I am not too worried about them. I didn't get emotional when they left. My hubby drove them to the airport and there was no room for me in the car. So I went in the house and cleaned. Bathroom, laundered towels and sheets from three rooms, dishes, cleaned up all the little messes that come with having a 2 year old playing with toys and making messes at the table. It was a very effective way to avoid binging. I had told myself earlier today "I will NOT have a binge today!" I'm finishing up day 5 being on a binge free streak.
As soon as I was finished cleaning, my hubby came back from the airport and we had supper. I haven't had a 7pm snack the past several nights, as I'm only eating when hungry, and so far my suppers have held me till bedtime.
The house is nice and quiet now. Our month long visit with our oldest son (31 years old) and his wife and daughter was really special. I took lots of pictures and a few videos of little Ingrid. We will do iChat with them every couple of weeks, and then we will finally meet their new baby in August. He is due in late May so he'll be around 2 months old when we go meet him.
It's so quiet at nights now. We cancelled cable and my hubby has an iPad mini that he watches Netflix on. He uses headphones, so I sit next to him in the silence and read. Tonight I spent some time writing in two of my journals, and catching up on Spark.
Stressors will be low for a while now if there are no surprises. I suppose my daughter could surprise us and ask for us to babysit her 2 and 3 year olds this weekend sometime, and that can throw me off. But I hoping for the best!
New month starting tomorrow and I'm excited to get off on the right foot. Weekend is coming up and I wish you all a weekend (and month) with sane and healthy eating...good workouts, too!
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