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LORILEEPAGE's Recent Blog Entries

Back After Ten Weeks Away

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

I'm ready to put some time into SP, now that I've taken a 10 week break from it.

The thing I've missed the most is encouraging others on how they are doing. I also missed the accountability to you, my SparkFriends. I know I need other people in my life to spur me on.

One thing that has changed is that I think I'm finally able to say I am attending to my body with the purpose of taking care of it and being healthy. I did gain 6 pounds, and struggled with binges. I don't want this to be about how much I weigh. I want to be a good steward of the body that is on loan to me while I live here on this earth. I want to be healthy and have a healthy relationship with food. Not using it to self-medicate. But to nourish and enjoy in moderation. I want to get to the point that I don't have binges.

I am dedicated to calling on God for help to catch myself before diving blindly into a binge. When I start a binge, the only thing that stops me is if I run out of sweets or I get so full I can't eat another bite. I'm becoming very aware of the thoughts that run through my head leading up to a binge. I am looking forward to (and am hopeful this will happen)
having a healthy non-binge oriented attitude toward food.

I'm praying, but I also have recruited my husband to help me. I am doing my best to only make trips to the grocery store or gas stations (candy spot for me) with him. If I go alone I am in danger of stocking my cupboards with binge trigger foods.

Another thing I'm trying to do is not eat until I pause in front of my plate and be grateful for it and be sure I'm not eating out of emotion but that I have a calm, stress-free feeling while I eat. Practicing some mindful eating.

I tried not tracking food, but I realized that not tracking doesn't work for me. I've tracked since the year 2000. I figured I shouldn't knock something that works for me.

Something really cool happened last week. My hubby bought me and assembled (with my 21 year-old son's help) a brand new elliptical! He rigged up a TV on a tripod right in front of it. It is so cool! I had quit my membership at the Y because the only thing I was doing there was using the elliptical two times a week. Hubby didn't use the membership and now I can see him getting use out of my machine too!

I want to renew SparkFrienships and make some new friends along the way. I hope you all have a great night and a healthy week ahead.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LARISSA238 5/25/2013 10:04PM

    Welcome back! You have been missed! I'm so glad you have a good way to work out at home! *hugs*

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_JODI404 5/22/2013 9:02PM


So good to see you back! I'm glad to hear you are doing well. You new elliptical sounds fantastic!

Sounds like you have some good solid plans in place to help keep your lifestyle healthy!

emoticon back! You were missed!

emoticon emoticon

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KNYAGENYA 5/22/2013 3:25PM

    Welcome back. I missed you.

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KANOE10 5/22/2013 8:37AM

    How fun to get an elliptical. You sound like you are ready to take positive steps and to get back on track.

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POPSY190 5/22/2013 6:10AM

    Good to have you back. Also great to hear you have such support at home - it makes a lot of difference.

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ANNEMAC5 5/22/2013 12:18AM

    emoticon nice to have you back. You will soon shift that gain. Nice gift from DH I have the same habit of buying treats when I get petrol but last time I made an effort and got sugar free mints

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CHERYL_ANNE 5/21/2013 8:07PM

    Hi there! So glad you're back from break. Missed you. emoticon

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KELLIEBEAN 5/21/2013 7:43PM


Good to hear from you again. Congrats on the elliptical! I'm glad your husband is there for you.

I hope you are having a wonderful evening!


Comment edited on: 5/21/2013 7:43:26 PM

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My Sermon. My Change in Direction.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

"it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." -Galatians 5:1

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon me and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light." -Jesus in the book of Matthew.

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." -Galatians 1:10

I am a people pleaser. Especially when it comes to worrying what other people think about my body. I get so consumed by trying to eat and exercise for the purpose of bettering the look of my body that I no longer strive to serve God.

I need to focus on servitude.
I need to live by the Spirit; work on allowing the Spirit's fruit to be expressed in my life. These fruits are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, FAITHFULNESS and SELF-CONTROL.

Faithful to God being my god and not letting my stomach be my god. Including allowing the Spirit be expressed in my self-control in my eating habits. With the Spirit in me I do have the capacity to have self-control.

I have an obsession about my weight. I'm having thoughts pertaining to what God may feel about weight. (one time I read a scripture, Isaiah 53:2 that left me with the impression that physical beauty is not something God would care about, though I do know our health matters. This verse states "He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground, He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him." If you read it in context you can see it is a prophesy about Jesus.)

Mark 11:23 records Jesus saying,"Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him." God is happy to help us with our attitudes of the heart that trip us up and take our eyes off of him. The thing I am now planning to cast into the sea is my frame of mind that is my obsession with my body.

What would it mean to be done with my obsession?
No more constant weigh-ins.
No more focus on calories, but on portion size and healthy eating, no more binges.
Enjoy what I eat but eat for hunger not cravings.
No more talking about, and boring others in my family about calories and workouts.
I'd still exercise regularly, without being obsessed with counting every calorie I'm burning.
I'd still take care of my body.
I'd have more mental time for giving to others and be less self focused.
I wouldn't have body image problems, I'd set aside self-consciousness.

I know this is the right thing to do. My faith dictates it.
But it is hard.
What makes it hard? my selfishness gets in the way of my faith.

It is right, it is good, it is godly. I have the Spirit's power and the Spirit is nudging me to consider this. The Spirit is reassuring me. It's a big change after 30 years of counting calories and obsession.

"Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things." -Philippians 3:8

These things are what I want to focus on and God by serving people. I will not be devoted to SparkPeople over devotion to my God. I get too wrapped up in focusing on what people think and say to me; not negative comments by other SparkPeople, because I never have had those, but all the yearning for praise that I do.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EJOY-EVELYN 3/14/2013 10:01PM

    Great message! Thanks for some awesome words. My service is to God and his temple and I pray that it is his will that gets completed (vs my selfish one). May God be glorified through our thoughts, words, and deeds. Amen!

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 3/11/2013 11:55PM


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LUCINDARW 3/11/2013 2:26PM

    LoriLee what a good and true message! thank you for sharing and well wishes for success! Lucinda

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POPSY190 3/10/2013 3:14PM

    Whatever our personal beliefs I believe we have been given life as a gift and it is our responsibility to keep ourselves in the best condition to deal with whatever Life expects of us. Therefore, I believe working towards a healthy lifestyle is not selfishness but, on the contrary, an inescapable duty. Without this we cannot reach our purpose in life, whether service to others or something else. emoticon

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SHERIO5 3/10/2013 2:20PM

    The things which matter most must never be at the mercy of those that matter the least.

One of my favorits quotes. Praying for balance in your life.


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KLMEIRING 3/10/2013 2:00PM

    In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us and gave Himself for us..... Grace and peace to you today, Spark Friend. emoticon

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A Little Kindness Goes A Long Way!

Saturday, March 02, 2013

I started the day discouraged that I haven't lost any weight that I gained this past few weeks with company here. I gained 4 pounds and though I'm still within range of my maintenance numbers, I want to get back down to 144. I was sulking about it this morning and my hubby, who was in pain from his shoulder injury, told me to stop thinking about myself and think about others. He made a lot of sense. It was silly of me to be obsessing about my weight when he was in pain. He did offer to go to the mall to walk a 1 mile lap. He said it would take his mind off of his pain.

So we walked at the mall, before the stores were open, so we could go along at a really good pace. He couldn't stand to do any more than that, but I was grateful he helped me get out.

Then in the afternoon I told him I planned to do my ST, but wasn't motivated. He asked me if I listen to music when I do ST. I said no, I don't have a good way to do it. He found an old pair of speakers and found a cord that would connect my iPhone up to them so I could listen to my favorite tunes. I listen when I walk, because I can carry my phone in my pocket. But I don't have an arm band for my phone, and when I lay down to do exercises on my back, my headphones fall off. Anyway, his solution was perfect and I was very motivated, not just by the music, but by his kindness and efforts to help me with my goals.

I love my hubby!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCINDARW 3/11/2013 3:44PM

    LoriLee your husband is so understanding thank your lucky stars! That's great that your help each other out all the time and may it continue. You will be able to lose those pounds in a flach if you excerise. Good luck and I know you can do it! lucinda

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_JODI404 3/9/2013 4:31PM

    Hi Lori,

Hope you are enjoying a nice weekend!

You are so right -- a little kindness does go a long way! I find that I really need music in order to work out. It's amazing how much harder I can push myself when an awesome song comes on! I'm glad your sweet hubby was able to craft a great solution for you!

The weather is finally warming up for us here in the South - 70^ here tomorrow (woo~hooo!).... those 4 lbs will be history for you in no time!

Hope hubby's shoulder is doing better too.

Take care!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SUSUSUZZZIE 3/3/2013 9:27PM

    Your hubby's advice is going forward from him to you and from you to me. I'm sulking because I can't exercise while my foot heals from surgery. I'm bummed and stressed from work and I feel like I really need to burn some calories. So your hubby's advice to think about others is precisely what I'm going to do from here. And your blog also reminds me I'm not the only one (not that I thought I was) dealing with injury or sickness or other.

Your hubby sounds like a great guy. Thanks for sharing his good advice. I'm going to turn my sulk around and find someone else to support.

Hugs to you!

And those 4lbs will be gone in no time! emoticon

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KELLIEBEAN 3/3/2013 6:33PM

    He's a keeper! I'm glad he supported you and that you both got out walking together. It was good for both of you.

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KANOE10 3/3/2013 10:20AM

    That was sweet of your husband to support you. It is hard when you have up pounds to stay motivated. Now is the time when you need to stay determined to get those pounds down and keep exercising. You can do it.

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CAMAEL100 3/3/2013 9:32AM

    Awww, that was so nice of him!! Not so bad after all is he!!!

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BEFIT014 3/3/2013 8:12AM

    It's great when your family is on board with you!

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CHERYL_ANNE 3/3/2013 7:00AM


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PHEBESS 3/3/2013 5:56AM

    He sounds like a sweetheart!

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POPSY190 3/3/2013 3:36AM

    What a thoughtful bloke. emoticon

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JULIAINLA 3/3/2013 12:37AM

    I liked your blog. Glad you have a supportive Hubby. I hope you lose those extra pounds you have been struggling with. Me too -I think we are about the same weight! It's tough to lose!

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-AMANDA79- 3/3/2013 12:17AM

    What a thoughtful husband!

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POOKASLUAGH 3/2/2013 9:32PM

    Aw, that's great!

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HDHAWK 3/2/2013 8:46PM

    What a great guy! I was shopping for pants today. Some are too big, but nothing here fits quite yet. I'm sort of between sizes. I was feeling kind of sorry for myself that the weight is coming off so slowly. While I was waiting for a fitting room I saw a lady with a scarf on her head due to her lack of hair. At that point I had to stop and think how lucky I am that I feel good enough to exercise and I'm not battling something much bigger.

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SHERIO5 3/2/2013 8:28PM

    Awww! You probably helped each other out today!

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SHERIO5 3/2/2013 8:27PM

    Awwww! You probably helped him by letting him help you!


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TWINZMOM7 3/2/2013 8:25PM


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Quiet Night after a Busy Month

Thursday, February 28, 2013

This month is about over and it was a good one for our family. Lots of great family gatherings. I faltered quite a bit with binges happening quite a bit, with all the stress the good times brought, but I'm only a few pounds up and will be able to concentrate on getting rid of them in March.

I had a potentially emotional day with my son and his family and my 21 year old son taking off to fly to Hawaii tonight. They have to spend 13 hours in the air plus a 12 hour layover overnight tonight. I am not too worried about them. I didn't get emotional when they left. My hubby drove them to the airport and there was no room for me in the car. So I went in the house and cleaned. Bathroom, laundered towels and sheets from three rooms, dishes, cleaned up all the little messes that come with having a 2 year old playing with toys and making messes at the table. It was a very effective way to avoid binging. I had told myself earlier today "I will NOT have a binge today!" I'm finishing up day 5 being on a binge free streak.

As soon as I was finished cleaning, my hubby came back from the airport and we had supper. I haven't had a 7pm snack the past several nights, as I'm only eating when hungry, and so far my suppers have held me till bedtime.

The house is nice and quiet now. Our month long visit with our oldest son (31 years old) and his wife and daughter was really special. I took lots of pictures and a few videos of little Ingrid. We will do iChat with them every couple of weeks, and then we will finally meet their new baby in August. He is due in late May so he'll be around 2 months old when we go meet him.

It's so quiet at nights now. We cancelled cable and my hubby has an iPad mini that he watches Netflix on. He uses headphones, so I sit next to him in the silence and read. Tonight I spent some time writing in two of my journals, and catching up on Spark.

Stressors will be low for a while now if there are no surprises. I suppose my daughter could surprise us and ask for us to babysit her 2 and 3 year olds this weekend sometime, and that can throw me off. But I hoping for the best!

New month starting tomorrow and I'm excited to get off on the right foot. Weekend is coming up and I wish you all a weekend (and month) with sane and healthy eating...good workouts, too!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_JODI404 3/3/2013 4:43PM

    That sounds like such a wonderful time with your family! Wow - a month, I hadn't realized they were there so long. It really sounds like you did a great job with managing stress/binges considering how hard having company can be (even company you thoroughly enjoy!)

It feels so good to get your house picked back up and back in order after company leaves!

Hope you are enjoying your evening quiet time -- it sounds like you are!

Best wishes for an awesome, healthy, month ahead in March!!

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CHERYL_ANNE 3/1/2013 9:54AM


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KANOE10 3/1/2013 8:44AM

    It is hard to see family leave. I miss my kids also. Enjoy the quiet. March is a new month to stay healthy!

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SHERIO5 3/1/2013 7:22AM

    Enjoy the QUIET!

I like your goal of losing those pesky pounds in March. You are doing well with your no binge streak! I cant say the same!

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POPSY190 2/28/2013 11:46PM

    Well done with the streak. It sounds like you are overdue for a bit of peace and quiet - enjoy!

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New Snack Idea!

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

I just tried a new tasty snack that I am hoping will hold me over for a good while. I seem to be hungry all the time even with fiber and protein in abundance in my diet. I'm trying to eat only when hungry and stop when satisfied. As well as counting my calories so I don't just eat myself into oblivion.

As I said, I seem to be hungry all the time and I'm always drinking water to see if it's thirst. Sometimes that works. But this time I figured it must be something lacking in my diet today, so I thought a healthy fat might do the trick.

I thought carefully about what I had in the house that would work. I thought of nuts, but I wouldn't get to eat very many since the calories really add up fast.

emoticon Then I had an idea.

I mixed 1/2 cup unsweetened greek yogurt (FAGE is nice and thick) with one measured tablespoon of Peanut Butter! Tasted it and it needed sweetener (I have a sweet tooth) One packet of Truvia did the trick. It was so good! It gave me the yum of peanut butter, but made the flavor last longer because it was spread through the yogurt. I might even add cocoa powder sometimes.

Now I just have to see if it holds me for a while! Maybe adding more peanut butter next time would be even better. This way it had 15 grams of protein and 150 calories. Calcium, too!

Try it, it's YUM!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCINDARW 3/11/2013 3:57PM

    I use plain yogurt add honey and cinnoman and it's great! I also put peanutbutter and honey for the sweetner in my oatmeal which makes it more creamy and taste great. I always use greek yogurt since I found it great taste and protein. Lucinda

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KANOE10 3/2/2013 12:16PM

    Great snack idea. I love peanut butter and yogurt. If you put a tsp of chia seeds in, you would stay even fuller.

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NUTRON3 2/28/2013 7:11AM


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POPSY190 2/28/2013 1:16AM

    A lateral thinking snack!

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-AMANDA79- 2/27/2013 8:30PM

    Yum! Maybe a squirt of chocolate syrup could provide the sweet and the chocolate flavor...

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SHERIO5 2/27/2013 7:25PM

    Sounds Delish! I like Greek yogurt with fruit or with cut up veggies( as a dip). I haven't tried it with cocoa powder but I have seen recipes for it. I also have tried topping some shredded wheat with Greek yogurt and drizzle it with honey. It tastes like. Baklava. I saw this on Dr. Oz. emoticon

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KELLIEBEAN 2/27/2013 7:23PM

    I hope that worked for you! I was reading everyone mentioned they eat Greek yogurt regularly. Am I the only person on the planet that does not like it?

I should try again and try the additions you all mention. Thanks for the ideas!

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BABY_GIRL69 2/27/2013 6:13PM

    Half of pb&j on honey wheat with a cup of milk holds off hunger and puts me to sleep every time...

God bless & thanks for sharing!


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LAINYC 2/27/2013 6:05PM


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SHARBEAR100 2/27/2013 5:32PM

    Great idea! Getting enough fat makes a huge difference.

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BEFIT014 2/27/2013 4:31PM

    Glad you found something satisfying!

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RDGISME 2/27/2013 4:27PM

    As a peanut butter lover I am psyched that you discovered this...but saddened by the reality that I can't stop at a single serving of it!! Thanks for the idea and for the many other suggestions given!!

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CHERYL_ANNE 2/27/2013 3:21PM

    Try halfsies (a half portion) of nuts (we have almonds and walnuts)! I also do the same half-portion with nut butters like Almond, Sunflower, Peanut Butter.

I have Greek yogurt everyday, either for breakfast or lunch. Buy the big container at Costco or Sam's Club and add in a Tablespoon of Preserves. Makes it plenty sweet.

There must've been a nut butter vibe this morning because I stirred almond butter into mine as well. ; )

For an extra special treat on occasion - try Greek yogurt, 1 Tablespoon nut butter, and 1 Tablespoon (or a serving size) of mini chocolate chips. So, so good!

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THIS_IS_MY_TIME 2/27/2013 3:12PM

  Try a little mashed banana with the peanut butter. Peanut butter & banana sandwiches were always a favorite of mine. A little peanut butter & banana goes a LONG way in the yogurt and has so much fewer calories than the sandwich! emoticon

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POOKASLUAGH 2/27/2013 2:44PM

    I eat Fage for breakfast every morning. I pull out one of those 7oz packs of 2% plain Greek yogurt, and add fruit, honey, cocoa, almonds, and flax seed. It's sooooooo good! I love it to pieces, it's very filling, and it's only around 300 calories.

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KJUNGURL 2/27/2013 2:00PM

    I've been eating a cup of non-fat plain Greek yogurt for breakfast for the last week. I add a chopped up orange with its juice, 2 packets of Splenda (sweet tooth here) and a squeeze of vanilla extract. Keeps me satisfied until lunch.

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BROOKLYN_BORN 2/27/2013 1:49PM

    Thanks for the suggestion. I love both Greek yogurt and peanut butter. I buy organic Stonyfield, but all brands should work. Maybe honey as a sweetener? Or a bit of fruit?

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