Monday, October 24, 2011
I had a better day! Yay! The past few days I've felt depressed so I'm doing what I can to rescue myself before it turns into depression. I know, since I'm bipolar that I don't have a lot of control over this, but there are steps I can take to help myself. One thing is to simplify my schedule. I've been going in a million different directions and that will set me up for mania. Or I'll get depressed from being overwhelmed. I need to take charge and put on the brakes. I adjusted my work schedule. Fortunately the 90 year old woman I am companion to is flexible. I can't do much about my other part-time job. The schedule is all over the place, but until the Christmas rush I will be having three nights/weekend slots to work. Then there's the issue of my boredom with lunches I pack. I am going to go through my Hungry Girl cookbook to find some yummy alternatives. I also am spending a bit too much time on this site. I will limit myself to the things I find most helpful. Any suggestions on where you spend the most time would be welcome. I need to go for what's less time consuming and what is most beneficial to getting healthy.
I like recording goals, and tracking, Reading blogs, spinning the wheels, etc. I'd love suggestions.
Just to give you an idea of how down I feel. . .I didn't get excited when I lost a pound today. I wasn't expecting more, I just wasn't into it. But as I said , the day turned around and I ate well today and took a 75 minute 5 mile walk in the beautiful weather.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
I had a great time with my hubby today when he asked me to take a walk with him. He had the idea to take our walk at a park that is situated around a lake. The path goes around the lake through the woods. We still have most of the leaves on the trees so it was shady. There are plenty of pines so a nice ground cover of needles. It was in the 60s so it was great walking weather. We have beautiful blue skies here much of the time and hidden in the trees I felt cozy, yet for some reason when we finally came out into the open I was able to sigh in relief, I realized I feel cheerier and more energetic out in the sunshine. I grew up in Wisconsin and we had plenty of cloudy weather. It was gray most of the winter. Now that we live in NC, I'm spoiled by the nearly constant sun and as I said I really am affected by it. The days are getting shorter and the sun climbs not so high in the sky. For years I suffered from depression in the fall, but in the past 6 years I've been fine. But just recently I've had a few days of the blues and it is reminiscent of the years past when I got severely depressed. But this shouldn't turn into a major depression. I have structure to my days and I have purpose as I strive toward my goals. And I know that if I do get depressed I will find supportive Sparkers to give me a boost!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Ending the day feeling positive is a surprise for me today.
I've done well, felt positive and energetic since I started with SP July 26th of this year. That's almost 3 months. A great start.
Then this morning I was discombobulated for some reason. I could blame it on not losing much weight in that amount of time (8 Lbs.) But I don't think that's why. I could blame it on the change in seasons, but I love cooler weather, so that can't be it. I could blame it on not getting a good night sleep, but I did get 9 hours last night and that's my healthy amount. I suppose I could just be running out of steam, losing my momentum.
I've exercised every day since I began. I haven't been able to let myself take rest days for fear of losing momentum. But that could be the thing that is causing me to lose steam. I also, two weeks ago, lowered my calorie intake by 200 calories a day, hoping that would be an adjustment that would allow more weight loss, but all I read about is how people do better when they increase their intake. It is counterintuitive to me to add instead of subtract calories. But maybe i need to readjust that back up.
I've decided to have my body composition analyzed. At the Y. I figure then I can check that periodically to see if I make progress, instead of depending on the fickle scale. My measurements are improving to be sure, and that is the one thing I'm now relying on to spur me on.
After feeling out of sorts today, and not swimming as planned; not doing my DVD as planned after i decided not to swim; I ended up going out for a half-hour walk, 2 miles, I checked my heart rate to see if i was hitting my THR and I was, so I had reason to feel good about my walk, . . .but I still felt "off".
Then it was dinner time and i was dreaming about just having a strawberry milkshake. Not a smoothie or a protein shake but an ice cream shake. As I was wrestling with this I remembered reading someone's blog recently. They said they decided not to throw out the whole day just cuz it started out poorly. Salvage it. So I let myself start thinking of the healthy dinner I could have within my calorie limit for the day and I came up with a plan. I had a chicken sandwich and I did have ice cream, just not a big ol shake. . .. .instead I had a little soft serve cone.
Now I feel good about my day. I had a victory. . .I didn't trash the whole day on account of a poor beginning. As I look back I can say that I really need to not be so hard on myself. . . everyone has an off day now and then. It's what we do with it that matters.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Today I had big dreams for my day off from both of my part-time jobs. I planned on taking a long walk, 5 miles, and to also do my DVD sometime today. I don't know how you other Sparkers do it. I know many people do a couple hours of aerobic exercise in a day. But I'm wiped out from my 5 mile walk. I'm thinking I may be able to rest up a while, and then tackle ST. The DVD includes ST, but It also does intervals of aerobic exercise and I may not be up to it. I've never done the walk and DVD on the same day. I will have to do the video another day.
I'm going to get a haircut this afternoon instead. I need some me time. I don't do that as much as I used to before SP, when I had more time. My hair is getting in my eyes and chlorine is doing a number on my long straight hair. Wish I would look good in short hair. Would love to get it chopped off. My face is kinda round and I one time had short hair and looked awful. But then at that time I weighed 210. Wish me luck on the cut today!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
I fought with myself to get out the door to swim today. It's not that i wasn't going to do any exercise, it's just that I didn't know WHICH aerobic exercise I wanted to do. I love my new DVD, it's a great workout. I feel it does the most for me. (Jillian beginners circuit/interval training.) But I love to swim and that is the best for my back. I also love to walk and I somehow want to incorporate all of these with the limited hours I have to work out. I don't know how to create more time to work out. I work two part-time jobs, need to spend time cooking and eating and also get my spark time in. I am on a lot of medicines for my bipolar that make me require 9 hrs of sleep a night. I like to read at night to wind down from my day, so I don't go to sleep until 10:30 at the earliest. So I have a short morning before my job that starts at 10. If I go to the Y to swim, with travel time it's a 1 1/2 hour commitment. DVD is only 45 min. and I don't have to go anywhere for that. If I want to walk, I can just go out my door, unless it's raining and I drive to the mall to do laps. 25 minutes of driving total for that trip on top of the walk time. I'm sure everyone wishes there were more hours in a day. I used to be bored a lot before SP, so I didn't used to wish for more time. Sometimes I couldn't wait for bed. I loved to sleep. I guess that's a big change for the better! And as far as my "problem" of feeling like I can't decide between my workouts, that's also a good change. . . I'm not battling with myself to make myself do SOMETHING physical!
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