LORILEEPAGE   56,757
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Hubby's Wisdom and My Birthday Treat

Saturday, February 16, 2013

My hubby had words of wisdom for me today.

We were eating out for lunch and I was explaining something I had figured out as a trigger for my emotional eating. I told him that last night when we had the grandchildren over, he was very attentive to them and I didn't feel needed to help with them. I felt like I wasn't included. This happens whenever the kids are around. I end up eating. Also on weekends when he goes to the computer room to work, I feel like I'm not included and feel left out. So I often turn to food. I think I remember eating as a child when I felt like my mother was busy with my baby brothers, and I felt left out. Also when I was 13, I had some friends tell me I couldn't hang out with them anymore. and you guessed it...I ate. Whenever I tried to figure out what I did or didn't do or what I lacked that made them exclude me, I couldn't figure it out so I turned to food.

So rejection, or feeling excluded or left out, triggers a turn to food.

But when I told my hubby about my theory, he said,"Stop analyzing your reasons for eating. I think you eat because you like to eat. You love food." Well, I had to laugh at that because it is true. He told me I just need to remember that just because I like to eat does not mean I should do it whenever I feel like it. I have to have moderation. He suggests that I am so much more able to avoid excess eating if I am doing something, keeping busy. He said my best bet is to come up with something that I love to do more than I love to eat. I think he has something here. My reasoning is possible, but plain and simple...I love to eat.

So to follow his advice, I decided what I wanted to spend my birthday money on. Craft supplies. I spent an hour online choosing assorted items I can use in the art journal I am working on and things to sew onto my cloth journal I will make. I figure these supplies will come in handy as I get to work on a project or two to take some of my free time off my hands. I also am going to go to Mary Jo's cloth store and get some fabric for a quilt I want to make and for the cloth journal.

So those things should help keep me busier.

Today when I woke up I decided it was the day I wanted to bake something special for my birthday. I wanted cut-out sugar cookies. My son here from Hawaii really likes them, too, so they are a treat for him, too. I ran short of regular flour, and had to substitute about a cup of the 2 1/2 cups flour with wheat flour. I wasn't sure I'd like that. I love my original recipe. They taste good anyway, but the wheat flour makes them more filling. I don't think I can eat as many of them as usual. Which is a very good thing.

My birthday is tomorrow and I picked IHOP as my restaurant to eat at to celebrate. They are very busy on Sunday's so we're going to go in the late afternoon, I hope it isn't so busy then. I like the egg substitute scrambled eggs with turkey bacon and two pancakes with Sugar Free syrup. I don't know why this is such a big treat for me. I just love hot breakfast and never make it for myself. Especially pancakes.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JULIAINLA 3/3/2013 12:41AM

    Happy belated Birthday!!!! I would have picked IHOP too-I LOVEEE pancakes. Must'a been nice! emoticon

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GOULDSGRANITE 2/19/2013 11:02AM

    Happy Birthday!!! I love your Birthday Dinner at IHOP! I think you are on to something with the love of food. New hobbies can really be key to our success. I have taken my sewing back up. I laugh at how much more time I spend on food shopping, prepping and cooking now all while eating so much less! Best Wishes for your Healthiest, Happiest year yet! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JANAMP09 2/18/2013 11:08AM

    Hope you enjoyed your birthday breakfast and on figuring out an alternative to eating and keeping busy. I did so like Jodi's point of " Even better than stopping when you're full is to not start eating if you're not hungry"
I am so guilty of eating when I am not hungry - just out of habit. I think if we all tried to stop this habit we would all be better off.

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DESERTMOTH 2/17/2013 12:40PM

    How right both you and your husband are in my opinion. I love food too. And I know I a.so overeat from emotional triggers. It makes sense we do so eying we love when we are hurting and for many people that is eating sugar. However now that you know you feel bad if you feel left out you can switch to doing something you live that s better for you. For me it means reading and journaling. For you it is crafting. I bet you will make some amazing things

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-AMANDA79- 2/17/2013 12:26PM

    Nothing wrong with being able to recognize emotional triggers for eating. But having a plan in place when that happens is also great!
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KANOE10 2/17/2013 10:08AM

    I think finding a non food activity that you really enjoy is a great idea. Yet I would not ignore your feelings of being left out. I am glad you told your husband about them.


Happy Birthday. E emoticon njoy IHOPs.

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NUTRON3 2/17/2013 7:24AM

    I love homemade sugar cookies

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_JODI404 2/16/2013 11:50PM

    Lori,

Just my 2cents: I think you are not "over analyzing" your triggers. I think you are right on. In my opinion, hubby is vastly oversimplifying things. It may be true that you love to eat...but I don't think it's the cause of binge eating.

I remember watching an Oprah episode with her trainer, Bob Greene and she said that she didn't know there were deeper issues... she just thought she really liked food... potato chips.

Now she says: Even better than stopping when you're full is to not start eating if you're not hungry. "When you go to reach for something in a moment of frustration, anxiety—and for me it's the slightest thing. ... It doesn't have to be something really strong; it's just the slightest little irritation that you feel like a handful of almonds would make things better," Oprah says. "Now to stop myself in that moment that I go to reach for the almond to say: 'Am I really hungry? Why am I reaching for that? What am I really feeling right now?' That has worked wonders for me."

Once you've realized that it's not necessarily food you're craving, the next step is figuring out what you're hungry for, Oprah says. "[Ask yourself]: 'Do I want somebody to listen to me? Do I want somebody to pay attention to me? Do I want to be heard? Do I want to be validated? What do I really want?"

emoticon That last paragraph sounds SO similar to the conclusion you reached. I think you are on to something important. Anyhow, I'm not trying to discount your husband's opinion, but rather to validate your deeper reflection and analysis of your food triggers. Just my opinion / take or leave as you like.

*H*A*P*P*Y* *B*I*R*T*H*D*A*Y*!!!!!!!!!!!!
R>I hope you have a wonderful, special birthday and enjoy your meal at Ihop!!

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Comment edited on: 2/16/2013 11:53:05 PM

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KELLIEBEAN 2/16/2013 11:05PM

    Congrats on the realizations you came to and your plan to keep busy.

I hope you have a very special birthday tomorrow!

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SHERIO5 2/16/2013 9:35PM

    Sounds like you have a lovely birthday planned!

I can relate to eating when lonely or left out, and. I love to eat! For me, probably a combination of both is what fuels my over eating.

Hope you have a nice birthday!

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BEFIT014 2/16/2013 8:58PM

    It's good that you figured out your triggers & are taking steps to work through them.

Have a happy birthday!

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CHERYL_ANNE 2/16/2013 8:02PM

    It's good when a plan comes together. Enjoy your IHOP Birthday treat!


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Cupcakes Almost Did Me In

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

The potential to binge lately has been very persistent. But I have dealt with it for 6 days successfully!

Yesterday I needed to go to Walmart for groceries. I went a little hungry...bad move as we all know. But on my way into the store I did pray that I would get myself out of the store without any binge foods.

What happened right away? I walked to the back of the store to follow my regular path, and first thing I did was walk up to the discount bakery rack and eye up the 20 pack of mini cupcakes. Cupcakes and bakery cake of any form is my weakness, a purely binge food for me. I saw they were $3.60 and 360 calories for 3 of them. I put one pack in my cart, imagining the sweetness and creaminess of the frosting and the soft vanilla cake that I love so much. Fantasizing about eating most of them in the car before heading home, as I usually do when I buy cake.

As I went around the corner I thought I should probably put them right back. But no I wasn't motivated to do so. Right after that I came upon $1 valentine boxes of assorted chocolates. Put one in my cart for another binge. Perhaps keeping them in the cart if I did decide to put the cupcakes back. I went a little further and picked up some regular stuff.

As I thought about the desire I had to continue my binge free streak and not cut it short at day 5, when I knew that one time I'd had a 18 day streak which I planned to beat, I headed back to put the cupcakes back. I forced myself to shake away all thoughts of the pleasure of the binge. I put them back, looking around to see if anyone was looking (whatever that was all about!) And though it was out of place I laid the candy down there too. Not risking changing my mind and keeping them if I traveled all the way back to their rightful place in the store.

I felt good, and just a little bit victorious, but I didn't want to congratulate myself just yet, I was only half-way through the store. Besides, I had also promised myself that if I put back the whole box, I could instead pick up one cupcake if they had them in the bakery.

I got to the bakery and almost passed it by but was drawn to the donuts. I figured I could get one for 300 calories. But I was originally drawn to cupcakes, so I figured I would only be satisfied with a cupcake. Found one vanilla kid size cupcake. Not regular size but not really a mini. Just right for a snack. Probably about 300 calories. I figured it would fit into my requirements for the day.

I looked longingly at the caramel milky ways, my favorite, in the check-out line, maybe I could get it and eat half tomorrow and half the next day as planned treats. But, no, that may lead to a binge, and I had my snack for today.

I ate it and you know I didn't really enjoy it though I ate it slowly (in the car) and tried to savor it. I found myself fantasizing about the huge slices of cake with lots of frosting that they sell for under a dollar at my other grocery store.

I had to go to that other store because they didn't have almond milk today at Walmart. So there I went. They had NO cake slices out at all, so that helped me get out safely. But they didn't have the natural cheetos my son wanted for his daughter, so I went on to another store. At that store they also didn't carry those chips so on my way out the door I made a detour to the free cookie stand they always have there at the Harris Teeter. I ate it on my way to the car and that finally satisfied me.

I got home and wrote down my unplanned calories, and lo and behold, I was right on target for the time of day it was and wouldn't have to scrimp and save to make it within range.

I was satisfied. And lucky that I didn't go over for the day. I don't count that as a binge. For me a binge is usually a feeding frenzy and takes me over my calorie range by more that a couple hundred calories. Usually they are 1000-2400 calories extra for that day. I'd count it as a binge if I had 400-500 calories extra unplanned.

That's my story for today. Each day has it's own struggles, I am not struggling with binge urges today, nor am I craving sweets.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LARISSA238 2/15/2013 8:29PM

    Great job! I told you you could do it! Keep this in mind the next time you go shopping! If you don't have binge foods in the house, you can't binge. You are strong!

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KANOE10 2/15/2013 7:57AM

    Good for you staying away from the trigger foods and eating moderately. You are doing a great job of staying binge free.

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LUCINDARW 2/14/2013 2:22PM

    congrats on your will power! Keep it up and your weight will melt off. Good luck with your journey! Lucinda

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_JODI404 2/13/2013 9:32PM

    *Y*A*Y* you!!!!! You did an awesome job on resisting all those delicious temptations!! (And there's so much extra out right now with Valentine's day!)

I know it may be hard, but the best thing to do is try not to even go to those sections. Just do not allow yourself to "look". I told my husband, the best way to save money is don't go the mall/ Macy's. When I go, I may spend. When I stay away... I do not spend! May be oversimplifying compared to food... but any extra resistance you can put up is good.

You should be proud, you did GREAT!! Keep that Streak going strong! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHERIO5 2/13/2013 8:02AM

    You are learning! Sounds like progress!

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KELLIEBEAN 2/12/2013 11:11PM

    Congratulations on a successful day. I'm very happy for yo.

You know, at times, I have seen a bag of cookies or donuts in an odd place in a grocery store. From now on, if I see that, I will smile hoping it was from someone who had the strength to avoid a binge.

I hope you have a great day tomorrow!

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CHERYL_ANNE 2/12/2013 7:02PM

    Each day is new day with choices for us and all we can hope for is that we do our level best.

And more important is the fact that you tracked the nutrition! Excellent job!



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CHANGING-TURTLE 2/12/2013 5:15PM

    emoticon I do the same thing putting trigger foods in my cart and then having to put them back and hope no one saw you when you put it down some where out of place. Well at least it did not get in to your tummy
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CBLENS 2/12/2013 3:00PM

    Well, done staying with your range and not falling into the binge. You can do it!

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LAILATN 2/12/2013 1:56PM

    Totally identify with your feelings in Walmart. I was thinking this morning, doesn't it suck that the stores are trying to just make us fat?? emoticon But you can't do your grocery shopping without being bombarded by candy and bakery goods, and Little Debbies and soft drinks IN YOUR FACE. It's tough! emoticon

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Heavy Topic, be Warned.

Friday, February 08, 2013

I'm learning about how to become Binge Free from lots of folks on the Living Binge Free Team! Thanks everyone!

Right now I am taking the 21 day challenge to stay Binge Free. I've learned that I am stuck in a habit of self medicating myself with binges. It is my go-to response to many triggers. One is seeing sweets on tv, or on Pinterest. It's food porn to me. Another is if stay in the kitchen after supper and I'm alone with the pantry and the cookies, I start gobbling. Most often it occurs on nights when I've had a particularly stressful day.

I've been having a binge 2-3 times a week lately. I'm on day 3 of my latest streak. I aim to be successful with sane eating. I am journaling about my urges to eat. Sometimes it works, others I forget to journal because the urge catches me off guard.

Last binge I was conscious of the desire to binge as I reached for the first cookie. Fully planning to binge, I even knew what the trigger was. And the fact that I was aware of it was a good sign that I will get to the point that I will avert the damage caused, by turning away after one or even no cookies. and turning to my journal, or to reading a good book.

I have borderline personality disorder, and when I have stress especially due not feeling like someone is understanding my side of things or acknowledging how I feel about a situation, I don't address it except by having a binge or lashing out at the other person involved. I used to be a "cutter". But I have overcome most of the behaviors associated with BPD and have been very stable for years. I think recently I have had some relapses due to additional stress that I wasn't anticipating and haven't handled well.

I know this is a heavy topic. And I am putting myself out there admitting to you that I have these problems. But you all are so full of love and support that I feel I can entrust you with my heart.

Thanks for listening. I am doing better the past couple of days and have a hopeful peaceful feeling right now.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_JODI404 2/10/2013 10:00PM

    Lori, I'm so happy that you are feeling more peaceful right now.

I know that journaling is SO helpful for you, so that is great that you are utilizing that -- it will help you on so many levels.

I've never been a binger... but I've certainly eaten food due to stress that I know doesn't do anything to help the stressful situation. The advice to seek alternatives right at that moment makes a lot of sense.

Congratulations on your current streak. You will continue to learn lessons and get stronger as you go through this journey, and you do have an awesome group of supportive friends that you can open up to here. I think you are doing great!
You've overcome quite a lot in your life, and I know you can continue to do so!

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Comment edited on: 2/10/2013 10:00:34 PM

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LARISSA238 2/10/2013 8:08PM

    *hugs* You can make it through! Just keep going. If you binge, get up and start being binge free from that point on. If you could quit cutting, you can quit bingeing. I know you can do this!

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LUCINDARW 2/9/2013 2:24PM

    LoriLee thank you for sharing your struggles. I am not able to offer advice since I suffer from the same binging. I also eat till the product is completely gone wheter I am still hungry or not. I'm glad you found the new group and they are helping you over come your problem. Good luck with your journey and never stop learning! Lucinda

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KANOE10 2/9/2013 6:09AM

    You can do it. Keep learning about yourself and ways to avoid the triggers to a binge.

Great job of staying on track.

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ANDYLIN90 2/9/2013 3:01AM

    emoticon The fact that you realized what the trigger was for a binge is major. For so many years I was totally clueless what my triggers were; in fact I didn't even think I was an emotional eater. And you are right...recognizing the triggers will lead to the ability to stop the binge. It won't be perfect and it does take practice, but you are certainly on the right track to eat more healthfully.

One thing that has helped me when I'm in that car teetering at the top of the cliff ready for the car to fall off and plunge into cookies, whatever, I touch my little finger to my thumb and say, "It's my choice." This often times is enough diversion to be able to put the car in reverse and save myself from a binge.

Your blog showed your vulnerability and I think this is another major step towards recovery from binge eating.
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Linda



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OOLALA53 2/8/2013 8:04PM

    I knew for decades why I binged. It didn't stop me. I felt justified. It wasn't until I started thinking of the binge thoughts as obsessive-compulsive that I became determined to resist them. The recommendation is to find something pleasurable or productive to do instead to divert from the thoughts. Over a period of time, it actually changes the brain patterns of people with OCD. I figured it could work with obsessive eating, and it has. It doesn't mean the thoughts don't come. (It is food, after all, which is inherently reinforcing.) They're just not as oppressive.

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KLMEIRING 2/8/2013 7:09PM

    Thanks for sharing, Lori. I wish you all the best as you continue this journey. emoticon

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-AMANDA79- 2/8/2013 5:15PM

    Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you've made a lot of really great progress. Hope it continues!
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SUGARSMOM2 2/8/2013 2:13PM

  lessons learned .

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SHERIO5 2/8/2013 1:58PM

    I'm working on this issue as well...a quote I read recently from a Real Simple article hit home:
"When a craving comes from something other then hunger, eating can 't satisfy it."

I think you should congratulate yourself on getting to the root of your bingeing! emoticon

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CHERYL_ANNE 2/8/2013 1:38PM

    We all go through bad times to get to the good times.

I'm glad you're in a hopeful peaceful place and hope it continues for you!

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POPSY190 2/8/2013 1:38PM

    emoticon It is hard to speak publicly about these issues, but even harder to face them yourself and you have accomplished both. I have. No doubt that you will tackle the bingeing with the same courage that you have dealt with other issues. Those issues do not define you. You are the person who is tackling them head on. emoticon

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AM_MORRIS87 2/8/2013 12:53PM

    It sounds like we're going through the same thing right now. I wish I had some advice, but... I'm struggling myself. Hang in there, keep learning, keep fighting.

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KELLIEBEAN 2/8/2013 12:26PM

    Hi thank you for sharing something so difficult and personal! My daughter has struggled with anxiety and bulimia for many years. She has come a long way but I only recently learned about her binging.

He recently became a NEDA navigator to help others. I am looking into volunteer opportunities myself.

My niece was a cutter and her recovery is going very well. I really believe both girls' recovery took a giant step forward once everyone in the family became aware of their issues!

You are doing a great thing for yourself by talking about this! Never stop reaching out!


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Dad's Doing Well!

Thursday, February 07, 2013

Dad is doing great! He's home from the hospital and is on a med that will regulate his heart rhythm. After a week he'll see the cardiologist again to be sure it's working well for him. At this time he probably won't need the ablation, unless the med doesn't work well enough.

So many of you helped me through this time by voicing your concern and happiness that he was doing better and better each day. Thank you!

I didn't need to go to him at this time, which is good because I heard that the roads have been bad around there. I'm no longer used to driving on ice and snow, so that wouldn't have been safe for me to drive from the airport to their house, a 2 hour drive. No one would be available to pick me up either. I plan to go there by April when the roads are better. If something comes up sooner, I will go.

Thanks again for all the love!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POPSY190 2/8/2013 2:44AM

    Great news!

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CHERYL_ANNE 2/7/2013 8:53PM

    Hurray!


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OOLALA53 2/7/2013 7:56PM

    emoticon

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SHERIO5 2/7/2013 5:21PM

    Whew! So glad Dad is getting better!!! emoticon

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KELLIEBEAN 2/7/2013 4:15PM

    What a relief! It's very stressful watching our parents' health suffer in any way. I'm so glad things are looking up!

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THOMASINA57 2/7/2013 4:07PM

    That is such good news! My sister just had an abalation procedure done after Christmas and is doing great and back to her busy work schedule. I hope your Dad does well on the meds.

I'm with you on driving on snowy roads!!!! That's one less stressor for you now and April will be so much nicer for a visit!



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-AMANDA79- 2/7/2013 4:05PM

    Glad to hear!


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BEFIT014 2/7/2013 2:36PM

    That is FABULOUS news! emoticon

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_JODI404 2/7/2013 2:35PM

    Lori,

I'm so happy and relieved for you to hear this great news!!

I'll keep him in my thoughts & prayers for continued healing and good response to the med.

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POOKASLUAGH 2/7/2013 1:47PM

    Such great news!

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LIVIN2LOVE1 2/7/2013 1:44PM

    That's great news!!

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DEBRA123FORME 2/7/2013 1:37PM

  Glad to hear he is doing great!


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Dad's in the hospital, I'm sad.

Monday, February 04, 2013

My dad, who has never had a heart problem before is now in the hospital. His BP had gone way low and he was really dizzy. They took him in and they found atrial flutter, and he's at risk for a stroke. I didn't find out about it until he had been in the hospital for 24 hours. By then, they put him on blood thinners and he will see a cardiologist tomorrow. They are in a small town and the cardiologist only comes once in a while to the town. He may get sent to the city for a procedure called an ablation.

I got to talk to him on the phone today. He lives in Wisconsin and I'm in NC. My finances don't look like I can go see him. He sounded quite good on the phone, but he's still in danger of a stroke. All my grown children tell me they think I should go be with him and mom. My brother was there visiting the day this happened, fortunately, so he took dad to the hospital. My brother is off from work for a few days and says he will stay at Mom and Dad's till Dad gets out of the hospital. I want to be there. I don't know what to do.

Pray that something works out for me to go, and also that he gets better quick.

Thanks.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERYL_ANNE 2/5/2013 8:12AM

    I will be keeping your family in my prayers.

My Mom has had atrial fibrillation (which is managed the same way as atrial flutter) for over 20 years. I just wanted to share that she is healthy, active and kickass senior. It hasn't slowed her down. She does her aquaritis classes 3 times a week, does tai chi once a week, volunteers @ hospice another day, and runs a card group.

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BEFIT014 2/5/2013 7:23AM

    I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I'll keep you & your family in my thoughts & prayers!

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POPSY190 2/5/2013 3:38AM

    Sorry to hear this. At least your father got to hospital speedily. Take care.

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ANNEMAC5 2/5/2013 2:37AM

    Sorry to hear about your dad it is a terrible worry when family are so far away. My mum is in hospital as she had a bowel obstruction my sister is able to go to the hospital every day and keep me and my older sister updated I also managed to speak to mum on the phone so that helps.
In an ideal word you would be able to rush to your dad but we are in the real world and do not be pressured by other people. Have a plan, but hopefully the Drs will soon know what treatment he will be having. It is great to be able to talk on the phone to him. Hope all goes ok emoticon

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KELLIEBEAN 2/4/2013 10:54PM

    Prayers and hugs!

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_JODI404 2/4/2013 10:51PM

    Lori,

I'm very sorry to hear about your Dad. You are both in my prayers!!

I sincerely hope that you will find a way to make the trip. If there is no way
to make that happen, then maybe your brother can help to set up a Skype session.

Please keep us updated. Hugs to you!!

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SPIRALDOWN 2/4/2013 9:26PM

    prayers go out to you.... emoticon

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SHERIO5 2/4/2013 8:19PM

    This must be so Scary...praying he gets well quickly..and for quality medical care. emoticon

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HDHAWK 2/4/2013 8:08PM

    I hope all goes well for your dad. Going to a bigger city might be the right thing to do.

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POOKASLUAGH 2/4/2013 8:00PM

    I'm so sorry. Sending you positive thoughts - I hope everything goes okay!

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LIVIN2LOVE1 2/4/2013 7:58PM

    I'm so sorry to hear this. I'll be praying for you and family. emoticon

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LYNNWILK2 2/4/2013 7:44PM

    Hi, A few years ago, my father, who was in seemingly great health, was in NY with plans of a great vacation with his wife. They were there for a few days when he had a horrible incident of gastric bleeding, in the middle of Time Square (he hates to be embarrasses). While in the hospital in NY they found him to have atrial fib and also bladder cancer... fast forward a to now... he is in great shape, 80 years old; the threat of a stroke is still present but well managed with cutting edge new medications to help control the plaque and clots in his heart, by thinning the blood along with other things.
Take a deep breath, make sure you educate yourself about the treatment and the diagnosis so you can ask him, or his doctor, pertinent questions. This will help ease your mind and help you to help him from NC. Educating yourself will definately help you, and you can share what you've learned with your Dad as he is released from the hospital and has to start a life of alterations to keep himself healthy and going strong.
God speed to you and your Dad.

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GRANDMA_HOLLY 2/4/2013 7:43PM

    My thoughts are with you. I don't know you.....but I think you should do all that you can to go and see your dad and if it's possible financially then do it.

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