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LORILEEPAGE's Recent Blog Entries

A True Confession

Saturday, September 22, 2012

I am shaky. My heart is racing. Some of you may recognize these feelings...especially in conjunction with consumption of too many calories, including sugar. I just ate around 1550 calories within 45 minutes.

It took courage to sit down and record all that I just ate. I decided to face facts and do a reality check. I have done extremely well during this whole trip, until today.

There was nothing planned and I got a bit bored. It is my last full day here. My parents are pooped out from visiting, and they want to rest. So I am bored. I had sparked earlier in the day, though I could've gotten back on and looked for encouraging victory stories by my sparkfriends. But, my dad reminded me I needed to go to the store to get some Tylenol. So I went. I passed the Dairy Queen. Decided I'd stop there later for a specific item that is a favorite since I was a little girl. But first I went to the DrugStore to buy Tylenol and a few little toys for my grandchildren.

I thought I'd check the Ben Franklin for the gifts, but it was no longer there! How sad, because I used to go there and hang out while my grandmother worked there. It had the old fashioned kind of cash register with the push buttons. (Back when I was 8 years old.) Then I saw the next door down that the Bakery was open. Surprised that it was still around, I went in, hoping to get a specific jelly filled donut, but those were gone. I settled for something else, just to feel a closeness to my grandma who used to take me there with her on her lunch break on the days I was hanging out with her while she worked.

My bakery item in the white bakery bag, I walked to the car, deciding I would save it and eat it later to enjoy it. Once in the car, I decided on the shortest route back to the Dairy Queen. They no longer carry the crunch coat for their cones, and I am saddened by that, so I ordered a peanut buster parfait, one of the most caloric desserts they have, though not because I wanted calories, but because I've secretly wanted one for a year and a half and have denied myself the pleasure, which was wise. But in my weakness today, though I had half a mind to just eat part of it and throw the rest away...I scarfed it down.

Went directly to the car and gobbled up the donut. On the way home I stopped at a McDonalds. I think I was craving something savory after the sweet, and this small two stoplight town has just claimed it's first McDonalds, and I've never been to it...I just had to go. I got a Happy Meal; after all, the fries are only 100 calories in this order. And a burger is only 250. To top it off there are apple slices in the box. Whoopee.

Well, I wish that were the end of it, but I got back to the house and grabbed two cookies made with butter and cream cheese. Now I'm done eating, and I'm done with my confession.

My mom just walked into the room with a bunch of graham crackers smeared with frosting. She weighs 103, so I don't fault her. But at least I'm not rushing off to make some for myself. I feel that like shaming myself. But that doesn't do any good.

I'm doing all I know how to do to keep from dropping into dispair...I'm getting on the computer to fellowship with the most encouraging, thoughtful, forgiving, understanding bunch of people I know. . .my SparkPals.

Thank you for listening. I feel better. I am starting fresh right this minute.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AUTUMNBRZ 9/24/2012 7:31AM

    It happens. I've done it. I am sure most of us here have. In the long run it is not that big of a deal. Just one day of abandon. I know for myself that the act of ALLOWING treats helps me NOT have them. If I am craving something for a while I have it. If I don't, if I force myself to be continually denied then I end up doing what you did. So I say the next time you crave a peanut buster parfait-get one. Eat one bite, half, or even all of it and ENJOY it. Doesn't sound like you enjoyed yourself yesterday at all.

Try not to worry. emoticon

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BABY_GIRL69 9/23/2012 3:16PM

    The heart wants what it wants. The next meal you can eat more vegetables & leaner proteins....God bless & enjoy everyday! Dee

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LUCINDARW 9/23/2012 2:59PM

    wow that sounds like a great bing but a one time thing. Now that craving is satisfied you can start over tomorrow! You don't have anything to worry about you are at maintenance level and should forgive yours self we all do it from time to time. You have been so faithful your whole visit so it will be ok. Take care and good luck on your journey! Lucinda

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POPSY190 9/23/2012 3:23AM

    I think many of us could admit to a similar transgression! Once you've had that first taste I think something in the brain is primed to keep on going. Almost impossible to resist that kind of compulsion.
No use beating yourself up about it! If it's another year or so before a similar episode you will be doing very, very well!
It's not the end of the world. Take care. emoticon

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_JODI404 9/22/2012 10:12PM

    Definitely do NOT fall into despair over this!!!

It is never as bad as it seems like it is.

Sure... you don't want to do this all the time. But the best thing to do is take any lesson there is to learn from it (if any) and move on. Just like you said... start fresh right away. Don't dwell on it, or beat yourself up.

A year and a half is a long time to want/crave something! Once I get a craving into my head, I usually try to go ahead and answer it. It makes it go away, and since moderation is fine, it works out ok. When we eat out, my husband ends up with 1/2 of my food most of the time. Unless something is portioned correctly -- which is so rare. Sharing desserts really helps me to have it, but not too much.

Take care and just put this right behind you. Tomorrow is a new day!!

emoticon emoticon

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CORNERKICK 9/22/2012 5:48PM

  Been there, done that (unfortunately). If it's any consolation know that you're not alone. I appreciate your honesty! Hang in there!!

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GOTTAPLAN4U 9/22/2012 5:30PM

  A couple of days of perfect behavior and you'll be good as new.

So git er done.

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POOKASLUAGH 9/22/2012 4:59PM

    It happens. And the good thing is, you'll get past this. We all go through this from time to time, binges that just lead to a lot of calories. If you think about it, there are people who unknowingly get those peanut butter milkshakes from Cold Stone creamery, thinking they're a couple hundred calories, when in reality they are over 1600 calories. At leaast you know. You're aware. You're not running away ashamed. It happens. All you can do is move on from there, and don't worry too much. It'll all even out in the end.

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KATD13 9/22/2012 4:57PM

    Oh my, that was the binge of my dreams!

Yes it was a lot of calories, fat & carbs. And you know it wasn't good for you. Well, maybe it was good for the soul - lol.

Sometimes you just need to get it out of your system.

All your hard work is not lost. It takes 3500 calories to equals one pound of weight gain. So it's not like you're going to pack 10 pounds on, because of this. Of course, this isn't something you'd want to eat everyday, this was a one time binge.
You already know that you will do better tomorrow. Do not be too hard on yourself. Forgive yourself and chaulk this up to a learning experience. A delicious learning experience.

Big hugs, it's OK.

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Yay, Body Fat Percentage Looks Good!

Friday, September 14, 2012

I thought that since I'm having to lay low with bronchitis, I could take time to write the blog I've been meaning to write for the last week! Sometimes you just have to slow down, even if it's not by choice.

I wanted to record my Body Fat Percentage progress because on September 6th I had it measured for the third time. I didn't really expect a change because I've been maintaining the same weight since the last time it was measured.

I have it done with calipers, by the same person each time, for continuity.

these are the dates I had it done and the results

11/2/11: 28

She said a good goal would be 25 for my age and height.

2/8/12: 25.5

She told me that this was good.

9/6/12: 24.4

She said it was "good....very good in fact" WooHoo!

It was in February that I added ST. Usually via a Jillian DVD Beginners Front Side, which is circuit/intervals. I only did it one time a week. Also I started doing extra Push-ups and planks once a week. So it's not like I did a ton of ST, but the point is I did add it.

I'm happy I've reached a good weight and have done well with getting my body fat percentage down. I am kinda amazed, because even though I feel good about this, I have retained extra skin on my lower belly, and the numbers still look ok. I feel good about how I look in clothes (not naked! LOL) so that matters to more. Hubby loves me anyway!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNEMAC5 9/15/2012 1:21AM

    emoticon great numbers. Hope you feel better soon.

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POPSY190 9/15/2012 1:00AM

    emoticon The body fat is what really counts when assessing health so you have done extremely well. And it's good to hear you sound so happy, despite the bronchitis!

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LUCINDARW 9/14/2012 8:02PM

    LoriLee hope you feel better soon and congrats on your BF numbers! Lucinda

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BEFIT014 9/14/2012 7:18PM

    emoticon !!

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AUTUMNBRZ 9/14/2012 7:15PM

    emoticon emoticon

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_JODI404 9/14/2012 6:55PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Those REALLY are great numbers!!

I just rechecked mine when you mentioned it, and I was SO happy it was down 4% since February. My clothes are looser, so I figured BF% was improving, since the scale remains steady.

I think being healthy & fit is the most important thing! It's great that you are happy with how you look!

Hope you are feeling better soon!! Enjoy some down time to read some great books, rest, and let your body heal!!

Take Care!

emoticon emoticon

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MERRYMARY42 9/14/2012 4:53PM

    that is so great, it is a battle for me to keep below 25, and I have never done with calipers, just never had the chance, woo hoo good on you

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BLUE42DOWN 9/14/2012 4:36PM

    emoticon job!

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SHERIO5 9/14/2012 4:29PM


I think your numbers speak loud and clear, you are doing an awesome job! I love it when they say, this is good, actually, this is REALLY good, though I hate it when (for me) they add a "for your age"...LOL!

I'm glad you are feeling good about your body and the changes you have made for the better. Some days I'm there, somedays I still yearn for a sleeker body with no stretch marks! But, these bodies have done some amazing things and we need to proudly wear them!

Wishing you a wonderful weekend! emoticon

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POOKASLUAGH 9/14/2012 4:27PM

    Woohoo! Congrats - that's awesome!

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LARISSA238 9/14/2012 4:16PM

    emoticon Congrats!

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Revisiting my goal BMI/weight

Monday, September 03, 2012

Here I've copied my Profile which I have updated today. I'm not totally sure about the necessity of lowering my goal since my kinesiologist did take my measurement of body fat and told me I was fine where I was at. I like the way I look, I feel healthy and fit. My clothes fit well and I'm happy to be in size 10s.


Member Since: 7/26/2011

SparkPoints: 29,173

Fitness Minutes: 20,788

My Goals:
Update, : 9/3/12

I have been maintaining a weight between 142 and 145 for 7 months. This is good. My BMI is 25.5. Which, when going to the Y and getting my body fat measured, turns out to be the same number. The kinesiologist told me that was just .5 over the high end of a healthy BFC for my age, and I would be fine if I wanted to maintain at this point. Today I decided to revisit this thought. After recently changing my ticker to maintenance, I revisited this evaluation and went to a BMI calculator. It said I was overweight by one pound when I'm at 142. I don't like that word "overweight". I think I'm going to now set my goal weight at 136. Which is lower than my original goal weight. ARGH!

I rejoined the Y and am ready to renew my weight loss mode. Reset my intake goals and my calorie expenditure goals.

My Program:
Swimming and walking, elliptical and recumbent biking, and doing an assortment of DVDs for ST are my current modes of exercise. I drink at least 12 glasses of water each day. I eat at least 5 freggies a day. I'm exercising 6 days a week at least 45 minutes a day. Recording food intake and also my exercise.

I've recently learned that I sometimes eat out of boredom. But that is happening much less often.

---That was my update. I have no problem maintaining this lifestyle, it is part of who I am. Surely I can modify a few things like intake and output. I can do this!

( if I sound confused, it's because I am very conflicted!!!)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ISHIIGIRL 9/8/2012 2:44PM

    I think those are realistic and sustainable. It is after all, about maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Good for You!

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CO-CREATOR 9/4/2012 8:01PM

    Looks like you have a great program of exercising, drinking lots of water, and getting a lot of fresh nutrients. I am working on getting better in these areas but it will be awhile before I get to your level.

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POPSY190 9/4/2012 3:41AM

    You are doing well whatever you decide. Keeping a steady weight is quite important and you have done that for some time. I've decided to set myself quite a broad range to stay within. I'm near the upper limit and would like to lose a few more kilos but, more importantly to me, I'm going to concentrate on keeping below my upper limit. Any loss is a bonus. So my goal weight might shift around without my stressing too much about it.

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LUCINDARW 9/3/2012 1:39PM

    Lorilee it sounds like you have a good plan. Getting back to the weight loss mood can be challenging but you can do it! Your at a great size and feel good so do what you think best. Good luck with your new goals and your journey. Lucinda

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SHERIO5 9/3/2012 11:50AM

    Hi, Lori!

So it looks like you are changing your goals to lose a few pounds? I guess I'm confused because at the beginning of your post you talk about being happy with your weight and size and that you have maintained for many months...

I can relate to eating out of boredom...

Whatever you have decided, to maintain, to lose, I feel pretty certain you can do this! I have enjoyed being on this journey with you, seeing you learn about your self, and learning about MY self in the process! I'm glad we can help each other!

So, if you are planning to lose, what is the plan? Is it staying within the lower range of calories? Just curious since you've been doing such a great job of maintaining!


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MJZHERE 9/3/2012 11:49AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LARISSA238 9/3/2012 11:26AM

    Great job! Don't worry about being over by a pound, though... that's not too much. Just be happy where you are!

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KNYAGENYA 9/3/2012 11:21AM

    Congrats on maintaining your weight.

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Into the trap, out of the trap!

Friday, August 24, 2012

I just fell headlong into a trap my neighbor unwittingly set for me.

A few days ago he brought ove 4 huge pieces of a dreamy yummy looking cake that had all the toppings it could hold. I ate one spoonful and put the rest in the fridge. Last night I had a craving for something sweet so I allowed myself two dark chocolate kisses.

But every time I'd opened the fridge door the past few days, I'd see the cake and not really focus on it. I originally planned on throwing it out, but I think I deep down really wanted some. I felt like I was doing so good. Somehow I wasn't totally satisfied from the chocolate last night. I ate appropriately today, but after work at 2:30 I was hungry for my usual snack except I hadn't planned what that was going to be. The cake caught my eye and appealed to me. I told myself I could have one bite. But I dove in and ate almost all of the two pieces in one of the containers. Then I quickly called my hubby and asked him if he wanted any of it because I had in mind to toss the rest. He said he preferred not to have the sugar and said go ahead.

So down the disposal it went! I even pushed it down with my bare hand to feel the destruction of the temptation.This is how I climbed out of the trap.

Now I'm not saying there are "bad" foods, but many times my cravings get the best of me and I'm not able to just have a taste. I am all for allowing myself treats. And maybe I put off having any for too long and the desire for it escalated. Next time he brings something over I'll throw it out. Although one time he came over with creme brulee and torched it for us and expected us to eat it in front of him to see if we approved or not. I've told him I am counting calories but I don't think that was a strong enough deterrent for him.

Not too worried about the zillion calories that was in that cake, it will be my cheat food for the week. I've done really well. I'm sure my metabolism needs a little surprise now and then. So I'm not going to waste time with a guilt trip. I'll move right along. I won't even skip dinner out of trying to salvage my calorie count for the day. I need to eat something healthy at dinner, to keep me from another binge.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATD13 8/26/2012 10:32PM

    Here's a list I call, Good for You!

Good for you, for throwing the rest of the cake out!
Good for you, for not having guilty feelings for eating the cake!
Good for you, for posting about it. We've all been there!
Good for you, for not letting that cake ruin your goals!
Good for you, for eating it. Sometimes you've just gotta say, "What the heck" and go for it!


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BLUE42DOWN 8/25/2012 1:50AM

    Good job recognizing the trap and pulling yourself out before too much damage was done! That is progress!

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_JODI404 8/24/2012 10:22PM

    You did good to stop when you did. I totally believe in treats and moderation....but.... I really only purchase singles. One cupcake... one cookie.... one cake slice etc. I couldn't keep larger portions around and resist overeating them. The trick for me is not having them in the house. Most treats we have out, at dinner or elsewhere.. rarely at home.

It's too bad he can't take your hints that you aren't interested!

Way to go on eating a healthy dinner tonight! That is exactly what I would do.
Keep moving right along!

Hope you have an awesome weekend!

Comment edited on: 8/24/2012 10:23:11 PM

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LUCINDARW 8/24/2012 8:11PM

    I wouldn't have had any will power and ate the whole thing! Good for you and good luck on your journey. Lucinda

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POOKASLUAGH 8/24/2012 7:57PM

    There are certain foods I just can't be around because I can't control the craving after awhile. I'm getting better, but there'll be some for awhile yet, I can tell.

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SHERIO5 8/24/2012 7:32PM

    Goodness, that took some strength and determination to shove that cake down the disposal! I've put cake or other goodies sent home with me into the trash, and then dumped coffee grounds or some nasty leftovers on it for good measure!

Unfortunately, I am able to sabatoge myself all on my own!! I've been reading the comments here, and elsewhere, and thinking I may not be able to allow myself certain foods, they are just to easy to binge on...I know, I know, no off-limits foods, but seriously, some foods I seem to just HAVE to eat more of!!!

Good for you turning this around! I think you are so wise to eat a healthy meal tonight. Give your body what it needs so it can take care of you.


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SILLYLILME 8/24/2012 4:24PM

  I think we have the same neighbor. Mine is a food pusher too and unfortunately all the food she gives me just ends up right in the garbage. Too much temptation for this girl.

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HOLLYBDR 8/24/2012 4:21PM

    Is you neighbor a pastry chef or something? Move! Just kidding, I always remember the episode of Sex in the City where Miranda throws cake away and then pours dish soap all over it to not be tempted to take it from the garbage. I guess she didn't have a disposal like you.

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POPSY190 8/24/2012 4:18PM

    Dealt with! Good for you. On these occasions I have kidded myself that it stops my body going into starvation mode! Fortunately, not too often. Your neighbour is a trap indeed! Good to have avoidance strategies.

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Hooping, a Long Walk, and my Star Chart

Thursday, August 23, 2012

I have started hooping as a fun way to burn calories! It is fun! I had a hula hoop as a kid and got lots of use out of it. I remember I could keep it up forever. I didn't know then that I was burning calories. I know it varies how much you burn according to how big your hoop is and whether it is weighted. But I just found a water filled large/kid sized hoop, which is what I was used to as a kid. Not the totally light weight ones that are hollow that you can get. My hoop was $5 at Walmart. I may invest in another size in the ones that are in sections that you connect, and are weighted, but I've even heard of someone bruising themselves with one of the weighted ones.

The first 10 minutes I put into working on it, my top time of keeping it up was 38 seconds. The next time, 60 seconds. The next time, I realized that my pants were interfering with my hooping, so I took them off! I hooped in my undies. I'm sure it was a sight, but I was home alone and hooped in my living room. That helped SO much...I kept it going for 478 turns, 5 min. 12 seconds! I was really working up a sweat. Of course you still get a pretty good burn for all those minutes you are trying and having to bend over and pick it up and start over. But it is even better with the continuous time.

My goal is to get it to 10 minutes. SP tracker says 71 calories for 10 minutes. Some websites quote more, but I'll stick with SP tracker. I don't have a heart rate monitor yet. Maybe I will someday. (I am getting one as a reward when I get a certain amount of stars on my star chart.)

So I am having a blast hooping. My chiropractor said it would be fine for my back, but I've read on a hooping site a warning that it can aggravate back problems. I'm taking it slow.

My star chart is filling up nicely.

I've had a 24 day streak of 5 freggies per day.

24 day streak for walking 5000 steps. (I started the chart 24 days ago)

I've had 15 days sprinked in there of 10,000 steps plus two over 15,000! I'm getting stars for each 5000.

Got 18 out of 24 for eating within my calorie range.

On 17 days I exercised at least 45 minutes. Most other days I did about 30 minutes of exercise, but I'm only getting stars on the days I get 45 or more.

Each week I'm getting a huge gold star when I get 28 stars. Plus I set aside $5 for a magazine or a some small treat. But what I'm doing is saving for a heart rate monitor. At 12 large gold stars I will add 50 dollars to my savings. That's what I decided to do for my rewards.

I'm really sleepy right now. I took a 103 minute, 5 mile walk this morning when it was 65 degrees out. Nice and fresh. Felt great! Up to 14,000 steps so far and it's only 1 o'clock!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_JODI404 8/25/2012 9:02PM

    So excited that you are trying and enjoying hooping! I truly *love* it!! It is so much fun!

I think the key with your back is to definitely ensure you are warmed up and stretched. Unfortunately, sometimes you don't realize something is hurting you until hours later...but if you are careful I think you will be fine. Take it slow as you are starting out. It can be addicting and you can over-do it very easily. The message boards on the Hula Hoop All Star team are loaded with great info and links. Also You Tube tutorials are an awesome way to learn.

Those heavy weighted hoops are not good. Even the adult hoops that I would suggest can bruise, depending on where on your body you are hooping. If you decide you want to upgrade, let me know and I can suggest some good sites. Also, try googling hula hoop classes + your city and see if there is someone there that teaches. Often times they make and sell hoops which is truly the best way to purchase a hoop.

Congrats on all your great streaks & super emoticon chart success!!
It sounds like it is truly working well for you!

Thank you for the comment on my page about the Maintaining Team. I will take a look!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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POPSY190 8/23/2012 7:44PM

    I remember hooping too but have lost the knack! The star chart is a terrific way of checking your achievements.

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BABY_GIRL69 8/23/2012 7:33PM

    What a way to go! You took out an obstacle which stood in the way of your workout. Great!!!

God bless & let's continue to make it happen!!


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SHERIO5 8/23/2012 3:20PM

    Hooping is a lot of fun! I bought myself one at the dollar store last summer and have played with it some...I use it sometimes to do mini challenges, like I put it on the floor and hop in and out as many times as I can for a minute...I won a contest when I was a kid for hooping...I think I need a heavier one to do the tricks I did when I was a kid!

Have fun with it! It looks like your star chart is really working for you, that's an impressive ratio of days staying within your range for calories!


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POOKASLUAGH 8/23/2012 1:17PM

    Even as a kid I could never keep the hula going more than about 15 seconds! I can on my arms, and can toss it from arm to arm, but never on my hips. I actually can on my knees too, bizarrely. Not sure why my hips dont' work, haha!

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