Friday, June 29, 2012
Well, First of all, thank you all for the hugs and helpful encouragement on my anger blog. I feel the love!
I prayed about it and was able to see and end to the anger. I became proactive and within 18 hours I lined up a few hours of work per week starting next week. That will help and especially will help me feel like I'm contributing. I haven't told my hubby yet, can't wait to surprise him.
Though I ate a bazillion cookies while under the influence of my anger, I am not beating myself up over it. I ate them rather than have a blow out which before would have included my hitting the wall with my fist. I don't know which behavior is more ridiculous. I haven't done that in ages as my self esteem has improved and I rarely get angry even.
Again, thanks for all the love!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
I am so mad. It's a finances thing. I keep eating cookies trying to stuff my anger. So I thought I'd try writing about it. I can't go into specifics, but let's just say my hubby and I don't agree on how to spend it. (in particular where our grown children are concerned) I'm tight and he's not AT ALL.
I can't even write here all the words I'm thinking in my anger. I better just quit typing for now.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
What a messed up day yesterday was! I gave in to carbs and sweets. I know now, looking back over the week that I held back since Tuesday, not counting calories, so I was afraid I'd go over and and am so paranoid about having any weight gain, that after holding back I caved and consumed too much. I need to remember to have moderation. That I'm fortunate to be able to eat so many calories. The amount allowed by SP is more than I ever allowed myself while really dieting and restricting too much which messed up my metabolism.
Today I'm having a fresh start. Not beating myself up over yesterday. Hubby and I went out for Chinese. We get a plate of chicken and broccoli. I eat all the broccoli, and a very few pieces of chicken. He likes white rice, and I don't so I don't have any. For years my hubby wouldn't eat Chinese, but in Hawaii he discovered that he actually liked getting asian food, since we were exposed to it so much there. Everything in Hawaii that my son introduced us to came with white rice. That's the part he liked. Here, the only places that serve white rice with a meal are Asian places. Well, I always loved to get Chinese, and missed it. I hate how now that I'm counting calories, he decides to like it! It's so hard to figure out the nutrition in it. So many hidden calories in the sauces. But it's a treat.
Missing my son in Hawai'i today. (tears) We will probably get on the computer and do FaceTime with him and his little family. I'm looking forward to that!
Hope you all are having a great Sunday. I hope you get off to a great start this week!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Well, cutting out the splenda isn't as hard as I thought it would be! I just dug in and changed what I was doing. I haven't reached in the cupboard for a single splenda packet in 2 days! So far today I only had a smear of sugar free jam on my toast, and had a bottle of diet Mountain Dew. But, that's it for the spenda today! I haven't eaten any sweets today so far, the kind with regular sugar. I haven't even wanted one. Yesterday I had a piece of banana bread I made for my guys. HAD to make sure it tasted ok. LOL. But at least I didn't go for a second piece. It's a smallish loaf, too. I have another loaf on the counter, (yeah i know I shouldn't leave it out where I can see it) But I'm not tempted by it.
I found a neat recipe today to use bananas. You freeze sliced bananas and put them through the food processor until they become as creamy as soft serve ice cream! It's yummy and not a strong banana flavor. You can add cocoa, or peanut butter and cocoa. I even read of someone putting frozen peaches in with the banana. You can freeze the leftover, and when you want more, just take it out for a few minutes to soften it. I haven't tried my leftovers yet, so I don't know what consistency it will be then. I made two bananas this time. So I ate half of it. A great way to have your fruit! You could even feed it to babies as a sweet treat without the mommy guilt!
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