Wednesday, February 08, 2012
Tonight I am going to the Y to get my Body Composition measured. I had it done 2 months ago and the kinesiologist who did it recommended getting it redone in 2 months. I had it done the beginning of November and it was 28% and I weighed 150. I'm down some fraction of inches in places and lost 7.5 pounds since then. That was in spite of the holidays. She told me at the time to watch out about gaining weight over the holidays (duh) and I can't wait to let her know I lost. It may not be enough to have changed my number. She recommends according to my age, I would be good at 25%. She measures using the calipers on the thigh, arm and stomach. She also told me the most accurate way to know how you're doing is the way your clothes fit.
Wish me luck!
Sunday, February 05, 2012
Thanks to the encouragement of family, friends and fellow Sparkers, I feel a lot better about my decision to cut back my hours with Shirley, even with her cancer diagnosis complicating things. I am reminded that she has daughters who probably will up their involvement at this difficult time. If I step back, that helps them to get in there more. They were used to me always being there and felt they weren't needed so much. I guess I was being an enabler.
I also am grateful for motivation to keep up my exercise, which is a great stress reliever. Sometimes when I'm stressed the first thing I want to do is ditch my plan to work out. I see I've grown and learned to keep consistent. Why throw out all my hard work because of a couple weeks of stress? I deserve to take care of myself no matter what. It's great that I got the 28 day boot camp DVD just in time for the start of February. I'm motivated to keep up with the schedule and it is doing something. . .I'm sore!
Eating has generally been under control. I'm still eating things that are healthy for me. I've just had some extra sugar for part of a week. But it wasn't enough to make me go over on my carbs, though I don't count sugar grams, which would be more telling. In general I feel good about my eating.
I plan to have a good Sunday, even though I have to work 5.5 hours at Hallmark. Hallmark is a happy store to work in. People are there mostly to buy cards and gifts for loved ones they are celebrating with. . .happy thoughts are in their minds.
Have a great Sunday SparkFriends!
I appreciate you more than you'll ever know!
Friday, February 03, 2012
Well, Wednesday I told Shirley i was cutting the hours I'd spend with her and today she tells me she has found out she has lung cancer! I am torn between feelings of guilt and relief that I cut the hours. Guilt because now I feel she needs me more and relief because I don't think I could stand to see her steady decline. Since she's 90, they wont do surgery, but will probably do radiation. I feel like a coward because I don't want to be around during her hard times. But I am being protective of myself and my emotional wellbeing. Stress is a big trigger for eating, but more importantly it triggers depression and mania in the bipolar world I live in.
I was with Shirley today when she told her 94 year old husband (in assisted living) that she has cancer, and it was a very emotional situation. Of course she shed tears and so did I, but George, bless his heart, didn't really get the big picture. He sensed that something was terribly wrong, but he didn't grasp that she is dying. They will be married 70 years in April. Can you imagine living long enough to see your 70th anniversary??? I can't! I will have my 35th this summer, and that is exactly half of the time she's been married! Wow!
This whole week, since she fell and got the concussion till Wed when I cut my hours, till today when I hound out about her cancer, I have been drawn to sweets. I've not gone over my calories too many days and when I have, it's only been by a hundred or so. It's just that the temptations are stronger than the have been in the 6 months I've been Sparking. Christmas wasn't even this hard. I'm sure this is just another opportunity to become stronger.
I love Shirley, please pray for her. This has been a sad day
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
A few great things have happened today.
When I got home from work there was a package waiting for me from Amazon. I got my Coach Nicole 28 day Boot Camp video AND my SparkPeople Cookbook! YAY! I changed clothes and tried out day one of the video and I am pleased. I couldn't have timed it better, getting it on the first of the month so I could keep track of the days easily.
And now I will have a few more hours freed up to read and use the cookbook, because I reduced my hours I will be working with Shirley. ( the 90 year old woman I am companion to.) I was just getting too stressed out by the job. She took it pretty well, though I'm sure she'll challenge me about it in the near future, once it sinks in that I won't be there three times a week but only 1. She has other resources and I've been with her off and on for 5 years, and I've just had enough. She treats me like family and we will always stay in touch, even if I quit completely.
I feel the stress just melting away. . .
Today, I stopped by to drop off a birthday gift for a friend. She had hosted a baby shower last weekend and had made the most amazing cut-out cookies. Winnie the Pooh, train engines and dinosaurs, all iced and drawn on with icing. I have a real weakness for sugar cookies like these and though she gave me 4 to take home, and though I tore into one on my way home, I stopped at just one. I had started opening a second one--they were individually wrapped with a satin ribbon tied on to hold them closed--but talked myself out of continuing. It was ok to have one, it was my snack, but in the last two days I've just gotten my motivation back. Starting fresh for the new month. SO I resisted and in the end it wasn't that hard to ignore the cookies sitting on the seat next to me. But Oh are they good, just like i like them.
Today I decided to take the time to go back and analyze the data from my first 6 months. Calories eaten and calories burned and rate of weight loss. It looks like no matter what I've done, I keep losing at the rate of 5 pounds per 2 month period. I can eat less and exercise more, or eat more and exercise the same, or exercise less and eat more. . .any way I've tried, I just lose those 5 lbs in 2 months. I am thankful for every 1/2 pound I lose, so I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing right now. I've fallen into a groove. I'm sure I'll have to increase time of my exercise as I go along, but I'm doing things in a sustainable fashion.
I have a good feeling about this month of February! It's my birthday month and I am going to treat myself well!
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