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An unusually stressful kind of afternoon

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Just got off the phone with my dad. He is an ex cop and has experience with testifying in court. You see, today I had to go to a lawyer's office to do a video statement about a fatal accident I was a witness to in August. I was the sole witness. Heavy burden. I went in a few weeks after it happened to sign an affidavit about it. but they also wanted a video statement. I wasn't nervous. I saw what I saw and it was clear in my memory. But when I got home i really really wanted to eat. Not out of hunger as you may have guessed. Instead I got on SP to send out a quick message on one of my SparkTeams. Then I took a walk and while walking talked on the phone with Dad. That helped a lot. He had the cops perspective and it was very reassuring. After my walk I ate something appropriate for post workout. Now I'm sitting down to blog.

In the accident a huge dump truck went over the yellow line and had a head on with a mini-van. The van driver was a 8month pregnant mom. Awful. And the truck driver thinks he wasn't in the wrong!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRS_TOAD 1/13/2012 8:23AM

    I'm sorry you had to be a witness to such a horrific accident. However you made some GREAT choices to control your emotional eating.

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POOKASLUAGH 1/13/2012 7:35AM

    Wow, definitely stressful! I think it's great you handled it so well.

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HDHAWK 1/12/2012 9:03PM

    I'm sorry you had to go through that. Even though you not what you saw, it's difficult to do. Good for you for not eating away the stress!

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_JODI404 1/12/2012 8:42PM

    How horrifying that must have been to witness! emoticon I'm sure "re-living" it today wasn't pleasant. So glad your Dad was able to help you and that you didn't stress eat!! Yay for you!!!! Way to Go!!!!!!!


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ITALIAGURL91 1/12/2012 4:08PM

    I'm sorry you had to see that and for what you are dealing with BUT you did awesome by NOT eating and doing good instead. Keep your head up-you totally motivated me today!

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Lunch boredom. . .

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I have found that some parts of my daily routine are becoming burdensome. I have one journal I write in everyday, (a prayer journal), plus another that I try to write in everyday( SparkJournal), and yet another one that I sometimes neglect for too long, (my general journal that I've always kept). To top it off I want to blog more on SP. Then I have a memoir I'm attempting to write a page a day in. I love these activities so much, and it's hard to consolidate them or eliminate any one of them. They each have value to me.

One daily activity that is actually becoming boring is eating my lunch. I know there are so many options out there, but I'm in a routine of taking a set selection to work with me on MWF. On the other days I chose other things, but I'm just getting bored. I have to bring food that you don't heat up. I also need to rethink my snacks for my afternoon/evening job. I usually eat 300 calories for the lunch, and 200 for the snack.

Any suggestions?

Right now I take a PBJ on wheat, and a regular size baggie full of celery, peppers and cucumber for lunch.

For my evening snack, I take pistachios and craisin trail mix, sometimes a granola bar. I ditched the pop tarts I used to take, knowing how empty those calories are. Sometimes I include an apple.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_JODI404 1/11/2012 8:51PM

    Hi Lori,

I haven't had to bring lunch for so long, I don't have any good ideas! Two days a week I am in the office and I eat out and try to make it healthy: black bean veggie tacos at Chipolte, or a turkey/ham sammi (small wrap) @ Quiznos. I used to have fro-yo, but have cut way back on dairy and do that on rare occasion now. Aside from that, I have a huge smoothie for my lunch at home every single day. It is a big key to my healthy eating and I have come to love it! I will never tire of it...but that's just me. I can see how most people would prefer more variety! I'm a crazy picky eater, so this just works really well for me.

Have you tried a search here on spark for healthy lunch ideas, and healthy snack ideas? It seems like I've seen an article or a Daily Spark feature recently now that I think about it.

Good luck! Hope you find something good that will work for you!

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BLUE42DOWN 1/11/2012 6:20PM

    Don't know if you're into any sort of lunch meats, but those could add some variety - even such things as leftover chicken/turkey from the night before with lettuce and tomato as an example.

One time I got almond butter instead of peanut for a bit of variation in flavor, if not texture. I also tend to change up my "jelly" (I actually go for "fruit spread") with different fruits. Orange marmalade can certainly make a change if you've been using strawberry. Or, if it fits your eating habits, honey and banana instead of jelly can be good.

I know it would require the equipment at home, but the thing that dries fruits and vegetables might be worth looking into. I know banana chips are good, people rave about kale chips, and it can give some fruits and veggies a whole different life.

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Stresses of house guests brought on tears

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Had a teary day. Not the TOM. but i am perimenopausal so could be that. Or it was because of the stress of having had company for 2 nights. They have an 18 year old daughter they brought with them. She was a good kid. They came from El Paso to visit family in the SE. I offered for them to stay here. They were very grateful and even gave us a $50 gift card to McAllisters Deli. They've gone home now. They were so thoughtful. I'd left for work before they left the house for home today, said my good-byes before I left. But they were ideal guests. . .they washed the sheets before leaving! We've known each other for 20 years and hadn't seen them for 5.

With company came changes in my schedule. I went for coffee and dessert with Paulette to a mutual friend's house. I fit it into my eating allowance for the day, so that was ok. But my bedtime is 10, and i usually take my time sensitive medicine at 7:30. But we left the house at that time and I forgot to take it then and I didn't take it with me. We didn't get home till 11:30, so i then took my pills. We ended up staying up talking till 2:30 like young people might. And I had to get up by 8 since my daughter and her two little ones were coming to see Paulette. I had to work that night 3:30-9:30, and when I went home I went straight to bed. Couldn't pull another late night. Our guests were tired too.

My eating was fine but I didn't get to exercise yesterday. Oh, I did 2 sets of 30 push ups. I have decided I'd exercise 5 days a week, so I didn't think that was the worst thing to use one of my days off then. But I think it still stressed me to not get exercise. Maybe if I could've had a walk I would have felt better. Coulda shoulda woulda. It's over and I'm eager to finish this blog and go take my walk. I think over all I may have stresses out in order to keep on target. It takes extra effort under these circumstances. Maybe my tears were out of exhaustion from all the effort.

I hope you all are having success and are getting off to a great start this new year!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CALICO_CHLOE 1/7/2012 12:37PM

    Dont let it bother you it could be a combination of worry and schedule changes that brought on the tears. They came, they saw ,they left happy ,you did a good job

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WWREFUGI 1/5/2012 7:34PM

    No matter what the change is in my schedule or routine, it always throws me off. I have to give myself 24 hours to do nothing at all after some events, just in case I feel overwhelmed. Being overwhelmed always makes my bipolar symptoms worse. ALWAYS. I know this about myself so when it happens I am not surprised. Whatever you are feeling is normal for bipolar, and you will swing around to your 'normal' self in no time.

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BABY_GIRL69 1/5/2012 2:05AM

    Yeah you were very blessed to have such wonderful guests! You have to plan for workout & food while they are around. You did really well, so don't fret.

God bless & continued success!


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_JODI404 1/4/2012 6:04PM

    Tomorrow is a new day! Hopefully you will get your walk in and feel immediately better from that.
It's great that your guests were so thoughtful!
Routines make life easier, and bring a certain amount of comfort. It's not easy to go out of the box sometimes, it can cause discomfort.
Overall, it sounds like you did great. I know you were concerned to start with.

Onward & Downward (the scale that is)!!


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POOKASLUAGH 1/4/2012 4:03PM

    I always find that I get depressed, moody, and mood-swingy when I eat too much junk, even just the tiniest bit of sugar. Or if I'm off routine. Hopefully you can get back to normal quickly and get over that feeling!

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Hopes for 2012

Saturday, December 31, 2011

WOW! I just wrote a long blog. One false move and it vanished! I lost the whole stinkin thing!
It was a masterpiece! It was something I would love to look back at in the future, to remind me of all that's happened in 2011. I may try to write it again. It had flowed so well. I was excited to share so much with all of you. I don't know what I did, but it disappeared!

This time I'll put it simply. I don't have the energy to rewrite the whole thing. I'm going to leave out all that I accomplished in 2011, and just share my dreams and hopes for 2012.

1) Attain my goal weight of 130. I'm at 144.5. So 15.5 gone, 14.5 to go!

2) Maintain my new weight till 2013 and beyond!

3) Add another vegetable or fruit to my current 2/day. The goal being that I'll be having 5/day by 2013.

4) Exercise 5 days a week.

5) Add biking to my routine. (I started adding it this week. Up till now, since I had back surgery a year ago in September, I haven't been able to tolerate biking.)

6) Write most days in my Memoir

7) Read every day from my new study Bible, with the goal of growing spiritually

8) Talk with my four grown kids at least once a week.

emoticonHappy New Year!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BABY_GIRL69 1/1/2012 12:18AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonGod bless & Happy New Year! Dee

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_JODI404 12/31/2011 11:11PM

    Darn that really stinks that you lost a long, wonderful blog!! emoticon

Your goal list for 2012 looks great!!!

I absolutely KNOW that you will reach your goals!! You've come so far, and already incorporated these changes into your lifestyle.

Congrats on all of your successes to date,and best wishes for much happiness and continued success in the new year!!

Happy New Year!!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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POOKASLUAGH 12/31/2011 10:03PM

    Good luck!

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RUNNERRACHEL 12/31/2011 9:57PM

    great goals! emoticon on what you've accomplished so far and here's to you reaching your goals emoticon

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MISSLISA1973 12/31/2011 9:49PM

    emoticonBest wishes for a happy 2012!

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A bump comes along with success!

Monday, December 26, 2011

Hope you all are having a wonderful holiday season. New Year's Day is just around the corner. My husband and I ordered our calendars off Amazon tonight. We'll have them by Thursday so I can write in all the birthdays and anniversaries of my family and friends. It's a ritual I learned from my mom. I get a chance to overview the events of the past year that I penciled in as they came up, while I read through and find the birthdays, etc, that I copy into the new calendar. We got a National Geographic calendar of Hawaii, since my son and his family live there. Next year we are hoping to visit them. We live in the South East, so it would be a monster of a trip. My husband doesn't like to fly, so he thinks we are going to drive to California and take the new Disney Cruise Ship to Hawaii and stay at their resort. Sounds like it's all a fantasy, so we'll see...
Personally I'd rather fly and then cruise, or even fly all the way. At any rate, the trip would be a challenge for me because of the time zone changes. 5! The problem with that for me is my medicine schedule is very set. I'm on 4 meds for bipolar and if I change them, or get my sleep schedule messed up, I can have problems with symptoms of mania and/or depression. My hubby says, "so what, we'll just deal with that if it happens." He seems to be forgetting how sick I get, though I don't know how he could, since I had put him through hell for 20 years until I got on the right "cocktail" of medicines. We'll see. . .

Well, I was determined not to gain weight as they say the average person does (usually 5 lbs.) over the holidays from Thanksgiving to New Year's. I didn't expect to lose, just not gain. But I have had God's help and have lost 3.5 pounds so far in that period, though I have one more week to go. I don't do any partying for the New Year. We don't go out, don't drink, don't have a New Year's Day dinner. So I don't expect any problems. The next big food event is SuperBowl Sunday. But I can make healthy chili for that.

I did have my first binge since I started SP 5 months ago. It happened on Christmas Eve. But Christmas Day I was under on calories. Christmas Eve I got into the cookies and candy. I actually over ate by 1000 calories that day. But on Christmas day I didn't eat any cookies or candy. Had a half slice of pumpkin pie without the crust. This Christmas I didn't bake any cookies but my neighbor sent over 5 lg containers of cookies. I'd placed a big plate of assorted cookies on the counter for guests to graze on. How naughty of me. I stared at them too long and in a moment of stress I gave in. So last night after all the company left, I dumped all my neighbor's cookies into the garbage. No need to keep them around and my kids didn't want to take them home. I only saved a tin of some my husband liked for him. On Christmas Day my girls and their children took over the kitchen and baked traditional sugar cut out cookies, my weakness. I didn't even eat one. My granddaughter decorated a special one for me. A star with a star cut out of the middle. Which she cut out especially for me. I put it on a plate and set it aside. When the rest of my family left today, they took every cookie, except my star, they also took the ones my hubby liked. Today as a planned snack, I ate that one cookie, savored it and was ever so thankful that the rest were not around, because I can never eat just one of those iced, sprinkled sugar cookies!

I hope you all are being successful avoiding the hazards of the holidays!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLYNINJOY1 12/27/2011 7:16AM

    Bravo for you on your loss & for planning ahead for travel.

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_JODI404 12/26/2011 10:11PM

    Congratulations on losing 3.5 lbs during the holiday season!!! emoticon

That is quite an accomplishment in my opinion!!! Way to Go!!

Well, even though you may have had too many cookies on the 24th, you balanced in out on the next day. I'm sure it will all work out just fine. I read a really good blog on this topic:


I think I did really well overall. The scale has stayed right within a 1 lb range, and that always has a little fluctuation up and down which I don't regard.

I also won't have any real celebration or temptations on New Years. Hubby will be working, which is fine with me. I much prefer a quiet New Years at home these days.

Congratulations on your success! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CALICO_CHLOE 12/26/2011 10:04PM

    Congratulations ON getting back on track and not beating yourself up over the binge. We all have them the trick is how we handle them and you did Great

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