Tuesday, March 16, 2010
you know, when i was a kid i never quite got the meaning of the words "all around the mulberry bush the monkey chased the weasel, the monkey tried with all of its might, pop goes the weasel" until................now. It just seems that know matter what that poor monkey does he can never catch that elusive weasel no matter how hard he tries. Okay, I get it now. Some of you dear readers may be wanting to know what is going on with me, was my latest surgery sucessfull, etc?? well I am sorry to say that despite going through six months of pure hell I am no better than when I started. Yes folks I am back to square one. Can someone say "vesico-vaginal fistula??", I know I can. That is what I am dealing with ever since the botched hysterectomy I had back in October 2009 and numerous attempts by experts in their fields to fix it. You know things are really bad when the doctor wakes you up and the first thing he says to you is "I am sooooo sooorry but I am afraid I have bad news for you today....." and that was after this attempt Monday [yesterday] at finally trying to have a "normal" life. It seems that now I will have to undergo completely NEW surgery, probably by a plastic surgeon, to try and fix what seems to be unfixable. I have prayed, I have fasted, and I have done everything the doctors told me and I am still faced with the original annoying problem which seems to not want to heal at all. I am weak and tired but I refuse to give up all hope. I just need some time off of hospitals and doctors now to rest up and hopefully day by day regain my strength and my sanity so that I am up to having even more surgery after the summer. That is the timeline I am choosing because I am just too weak right now to be put under the knife again without the risk of not waking up. I do not know why God is making me face this awful fate and maybe I shall never know but one thing I do know is I shall not give up this fight. I have a family and friends and so much in life to value not to give in to this awful thing. It is, however, disheartening to say the least. I shall try to deal with the situation as best as I can for now and try to gain strength each day to get back to some sort of normal routine while I faithfully wait in hopes for the right doctor to fix the unfixable. I shall treasure the time I have to spend with my family and friends forever until then. I am also seeking an attorney's advice on how to handle the original surgeon who messed me up so completely; no one should ever have to go through this! [it is rarely seen in this country]. Know that through these struggles I shall continue to Spark On! So should you.
Be well my cyber friends and treat your body the best you can, promise me that.