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2010 The year in review...

Sunday, December 26, 2010



Hmmmm...where to start....
Well most of you who were following my blogs, you will notice that I disappeared for quite some time.

I had a family crisis that turned into a blessing in disguise.

The first 1/2 of the year - I was so consumed with co-dependency that I could not concentrate on fixing myself - I was too consumed with fixing my alcoholic, drug addicted husband. I love him with everything I am - and I felt like he was killing himself and I had to do something about it - and when I say I was consumed with this - I mean my EVERY thought was worried & frazzled about what to do!!! I didn't realize at the time that this "worried, obsessive, frazzled feeling was an illness in and of itself...it's called codependency.

Somewhere around mid-July my husband and I both hit "rock bottom". I was ready to leave - and he was ready to get help. He admitted himself to detox - and I thought everything would be better - but I got worse! I obsessed about where he was - what was he doing? - was he drinking? - was he hanging around people who are drinking?....It was aweful. Someone suggested I go to an al-anon meeting...and I did.

I went to 2 actually. The 2nd one I shared my story. I guess fully expecting someone to tell me what to do about my husband. But one lady took me totally off guard when she told me that I was sicker than my husband - and that if I didn't "let go and let God" I would end up killing myself.

Outwardly I thanked her. But inwardly I was indignant and thought she had "no clue" what my husband was like. I didn't have the problem - HE DID.

Days passed and I could not get her words out of my head. Finally one night on a particularly bad day - I got on my knees and I prayed. I asked God to "help me" fix my life. I told him that I was sorry for anything I ever did wrong - and that I was going to try my best to change. I told him that I would do whatever he wanted - but he had to show me WHAT that was...

The next day - without me even mentioning my prayer to my husband, my husband suggested that he and I start attending church on Sunday's...

We did, our 2nd visit to church we met a man who GAVE US his Bible...and told us to read it. Was this God speaking to me through this man??? I thought so.

I started reading and my husband and I ended up getting baptized by submersion on 10/10/10.





We have been attending church regularly. I have been reading my Bible and even taking non-credit Biblical Bible courses to advance my knowledge in the Bible.

I was asked on Pastor appreciation day to give my testimony in front of the church congregation - which I was honored to do.

I am happy to say that I have turned all my worries over to the Lord my God and I for the first time in a long time have "peace" of mind...and it feels AMAZING.

My husband is clean & sober 5 months now...and I am so proud of him. Our marriage is stronger than ever and I feel like I have fallen in love with him all over again.



Christmas eve we went carolling with the church...it was SO MUCH FUN!!!



I think I am at a place in my life where I can finally now concentrate on "me".
I pray that all my Sparkfriends will come back and support me!

Love to you all! emoticon
Lori Ann

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REGMAGLYPTS 9/25/2011 1:51AM

    where did you go?

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REGMAGLYPTS 3/29/2011 11:33PM

    Nice post!

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CAROLYN1213 1/11/2011 10:47AM

    What a wonderful testimony! Thanks for sharing! I am so excited for you and for your husband! God is good all the time, even when we don't see it He is there for us and wants us to take our cares to him.

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NEWINSIDEOUT 12/27/2010 11:40PM

    Hi. I saw this post in the CR team. I'm in recovery for codependency as well so it rang a bell. Glad to hear your testimony and how things can get better!

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LORIANNHOFFMAN 12/26/2010 5:08PM

    Thank you all for your beautiful commments and your continued support - I appreciate it more than you know.

God Bless!!!

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PSMITH3841 12/26/2010 4:56PM

    I am thrilled you and your husband are doing so well....you sound so happy and at peace...and it shows in your photos....I'm smiling so hard, my cheeks ache...but this is a good ache!!!! You can count on me for any support you need....welcome back...Hugs, Penny emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/26/2010 4:57:17 PM

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NICOLEO36 12/26/2010 4:45PM

    Hi Lori,

I'm glad to see you're doing well--I always check for updates from you. Happy Holidays.

Nicole

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SLIMTHICK2 12/26/2010 12:57PM

    God bless you, thanks for sharing your story. May the peace of God which passes all understanding be with you and your husband. emoticon

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KATZLAF 12/26/2010 9:27AM

    What a wonderful message, especially for this time of year and what a powerful testimony!! Blessing to both you and your husband as you continue to grow on so many levels emoticon

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COMPUCATHY 12/26/2010 9:24AM

    Awwwwwwwwwww....I got glory bumps reading your post! What we cannot do...God can do...and so much better! Wow. What a great testimony to that! I'm so happy for you and your husband. 2011 is going to be your best year ever. God has built the foundation...now you get to stand on it and become all that you can be. Spark on! emoticon emoticon

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KIDDEN04 12/26/2010 8:13AM

    Good for you Lori Ann!!! or is it God for you? !!! It's amazing what peace His love brings to us isn't it??? Merry Christmas a bit late and have a blessed and peaceful New Year!!

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2010 The year in review...

Sunday, December 26, 2010



Hmmmm...where to start....
Well most of you who were following my blogs, you will notice that I disappeared for quite some time.

I had a family crisis that turned into a blessing in disguise.

The first 1/2 of the year - I was so consumed with co-dependency that I could not concentrate on fixing myself - I was too consumed with fixing my alcoholic, drug addicted husband. I love him with everything I am - and I felt like he was killing himself and I had to do something about it - and when I say I was consumed with this - I mean my EVERY thought was worried & frazzled about what to do!!! I didn't realize at the time that this "worried, obsessive, frazzled feeling was an illness in and of itself...it's called codependency.

Somewhere around mid-July my husband and I both hit "rock bottom". I was ready to leave - and he was ready to get help. He admitted himself to detox - and I thought everything would be better - but I got worse! I obsessed about where he was - what was he doing? - was he drinking? - was he hanging around people who are drinking?....It was aweful. Someone suggested I go to an al-anon meeting...and I did.

I went to 2 actually. The 2nd one I shared my story. I guess fully expecting someone to tell me what to do about my husband. But one lady took me totally off guard when she told me that I was sicker than my husband - and that if I didn't "let go and let God" I would end up killing myself.

Outwardly I thanked her. But inwardly I was indignant and thought she had "no clue" what my husband was like. I didn't have the problem - HE DID.

Days passed and I could not get her words out of my head. Finally one night on a particularly bad day - I got on my knees and I prayed. I asked God to "help me" fix my life. I told him that I was sorry for anything I ever did wrong - and that I was going to try my best to change. I told him that I would do whatever he wanted - but he had to show me WHAT that was...

The next day - without me even mentioning my prayer to my husband, my husband suggested that he and I start attending church on Sunday's...

We did, our 2nd visit to church we met a man who GAVE US his Bible...and told us to read it. Was this God speaking to me through this man??? I thought so.

I started reading and my husband and I ended up getting baptized by submersion on 10/10/10.





We have been attending church regularly. I have been reading my Bible and even taking non-credit Biblical Bible courses to advance my knowledge in the Bible.

I was asked on Pastor appreciation day to give my testimony in front of the church congregation - which I was honored to do.

I am happy to say that I have turned all my worries over to the Lord my God and I for the first time in a long time have "peace" of mind...and it feels AMAZING.

My husband is clean & sober 5 months now...and I am so proud of him. Our marriage is stronger than ever and I feel like I have fallen in love with him all over again.



Christmas eve we went carolling with the church...it was SO MUCH FUN!!!



I think I am at a place in my life where I can finally now concentrate on "me".
I pray that all my Sparkfriends will come back and support me!

Love to you all! emoticon
Lori Ann

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CANDY58 12/26/2010 8:27AM

    Loved your story, I can relate. I am proud of you and your husband. I have been sober for 6 years and they have good years. Welcome back and we are here to support your. emoticon

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I am blessed...

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

So a lot has happened since I was last here. My husband finally went and got help for his Oxycontin addiction and his alcohol issues...and I am PROUD to say that he is clean & sober 4 weeks now!!!

My husband and I have also started to go to church. I have found real comfort in praying regularly - about everything.

When my husband got out of rehab - I started going to al-anon meetings. I ordered literature about addiction and alcoholism - I became determined to learn as much as I could about the disease.

I learned a lot. But mainly I learned how blessed I AM not to be afflicted with such a horrible disease. I learned to "let go of my husbands issues (that were making me emotionally ill) - and put him and his disease in God's hands". I will not lie - I am a bit of a control freak - and this was NOT easy for me to do - but I did it. I prayed and told God that I can not do this anymore. It is far bigger than I am - I asked God not to let me down - and to date - he hasn't.

I believe it was this prayer that led us back to church - my faith has been restored in a big way.

Instead of praying for the things in my life that aren't good - I pray daily for the blesssings that I have received...and I leave the rest to God. In doing this, I have found that I feel a weight that has been dragging me down for YEARS has been lifted off my shoulders.

I am blessed.
I have LOVE.
I have 3 AMAZING children that have brought so much happiness and pride to my life.
I have a husband who makes me laugh and loves me unconditionally.
I have a job.
I can walk, see, hear, speak and feel.
I am not hungry or homeless.
I am blessed.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATZLAF 9/6/2010 5:26PM

    Wishing you and your husband continued strength and all of God's blessings! Thank you for posting-I'm inspired emoticon

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PSMITH3841 8/17/2010 11:49AM

    What wonderful news, I'm so happy for you and your husband...I'm wishing you continued success on your road to recovery and serenity... emoticon emoticon

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CADYANN1 8/17/2010 8:31AM

    What an uplifting story! I pray that God will continue to bless you and your husband as he overcomes his addiction.

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ANGE1010 8/17/2010 6:50AM

    You have found the Truth of Christ and he has set you free. Your husband will see God working in your life and he will be blessed as well. Honor God through Christ first and the rest of God's plans will fall into place. proverbs 3:5&6.

God Bless,
Ange

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Sometimes when you feel most alone…your friends are there…

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

I have a hard time blogging when I do not have a lot of positive things to write about. I mean, after all – who wants to read about negativity and hard times…right?
But…my daughter Rebecka – wants a blog, so here it is.

The last few weeks have been really tough. Once again, I see the man I love with all my heart taking a turn for the worse. His addiction is getting the best of him – and he seems more in denial about it than he ever was.

It has gotten so bad – that I told him that I was leaving. I am at my wits end!!! It is so hard to sit and watch someone who at one time was so healthy, so active, and happy…decay away into a pain ridden shell of a man. It leaves you feeling sad, overwhelmed and helpless.

I also felt like – if I leave…where will I go??? I have no place to go!!!

In my desperation – I status’d my facebook page as “I need a place to live – ASAP”…and I was inundated by offers of places to stay…so much so – that I had to remove the status.

Sometimes when you feel most alone…your friends are there…you just can’t see them…but they ARE there. I realized this in a BIG way!!! I am so fortunate to have such amazing friends.

I did however decide to stay. I love him and I can not leave at this point. I need to stop running from my problems – I need to gather the strength I need – and face this addiction monster head on – and fight to get the husband that I fell head over heels in love with back.

On the upside – I have lost about 12 lbs…I am really happy about that.
So there ya have it Rebecka!!! Your turn.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REGMAGLYPTS 8/17/2010 1:42AM

    It has been over a month... get out of farmville! Seriously ma. We need you here on SparkPeople, well I do!

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REGMAGLYPTS 7/12/2010 1:11AM

    call me I miss your voice.

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MSUALEXIS 7/8/2010 7:32AM

    I can only imagine how hard it must be. I'll be thinking about you.

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SVELTEWARRIOR 7/7/2010 11:09PM

    I will say a prayer for you and your husband. Please keep blogging it helps get all those negative emotions out!!! I really wish I had some words of wisdom for you but I am at a loss for words. Just know if you need to talk I am willing to listen.

Congrats on the weight loss!!!!!

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REGMAGLYPTS 7/7/2010 1:29PM

    Thanks for the blog ma. Sounds like you are staying strong and you have a plan. You can make anything happen...

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PSMITH3841 7/7/2010 10:40AM

    I too lived with a spouse with addiction....it's not an easy thing...there are places you can go to get information and help for yourself (for minimal or no cost) and ultimately him...just remember, you can't make him get healthy he needs to want to do it for himself...you need to take care of you....as much as you love him, you are the most important one!!!! Never forget that! You may not get the end result you hoped for, but you will get a result you need to lead a normal healthy life for you (and maybe even him)...the spouse and I are now divorced, but he has been clean and sober for over 16 year and has re-established his relationship with our children which is a very good thing and something I had hoped for all along. Hang in there, give a shout if you need a shoulder! emoticon emoticon

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THEFITNUTLIFE 7/7/2010 10:16AM

    emoticon emoticon
God is always with you too.

I'm an expert with a husband with an addiction. I spent the first 7 years of our life together praying he'd get help. The lies, the half-truths, the deceit, the untrustworthiness... I've dealt with it all. I know all to well how hard it is to leave when the man you love is fighting a demon. I was there in your shoes about 10 years ago.

If you ever need someone to talk too... I'm here. I have many stories I could tell, but in the end...my husband finally got sober and has been clean for 10 years. It took moving 3400 miles away and with the ultimatum that I would leave and take our kids with me if he didn't wise up. I meant it, he understood it.

I'll add you and your husband to my prayer list. Another thing I need to say is about your comment about how you weren't blogging because "who wants to read about negativity and hard times…right?" That is what we all are here for! If you're having a rough time in whatever part of life BLOG about it. The support you will get is phenomenal and it will help not only with staying on track weight wise, it will keep you healthy all the way around. Mental health is as much a part of losing weight as eating right and exersicing. So don't ever feel you shouldn't or can't blog because it's negative or because you're having a hard time with life. WE ALL HAVE HARD TIMES IN LIFE and that's the BEST time to blog and get help, support, love, advice and the knowledge that you are NOT ALONE in your struggles. Keep blogging!


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When life hands you lemons...what do YOU do???

Sunday, June 27, 2010

I don't know if it was all the fun I had when I was in Oregon, being surrounded by friendly, positive people - and then coming back to my highly stressfull reality that I call my life...I don't know what happened but when I came home I found myself inundated with negative thoughts.

Fortunately enough - my wonderful upbeat daughter Rebecka (whom I just came back from visiting in Oregon) - read between the lines of my facebook posts and came galantly to my rescue. She offered me the best advice - and the things that she said to me - they really sunk in - but more important...they made sense.

My daughter has plenty of issues of her own, but I truly believe it's how she looks at life and it's challenges that makes all the difference. When life hands her lemons..she makes REALLY GOOD lemonade...that's my girl!!! The "POWER" of positive thinking is HUGE.

Rebecka proved this recently...she had been told by her doctor that the reason she feels so tired and run down all the time - is because she is extremely high in lead. So what did she do???

She trained for a tri-athalon - and she DID IT!!!


(she's the one in the orange)

So needless to say - she's not the kind of person who just "sits around complaining and feeling sorry for herself"...she always finds a way to turn things around, and make it work for her. She always sees the "light at the end of the tunnel"...

I am so glad to have her in my life - and grateful for her never ending words of encouragement, optimism and hope.

I am looking at things very differently now - and it feels great!!!
Thanks Rebecka!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REGMAGLYPTS 7/7/2010 12:55AM

    blog please... It has been a long time.

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REGMAGLYPTS 7/3/2010 12:19AM

    Its true. I have an AMAZING mother.

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PSMITH3841 6/28/2010 3:13PM

    What a wonderful young woman....just remember, she didn't get to be so amazing on her own...you, her mother, helped guide her...you're pretty wonderful too! emoticon

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SVELTEWARRIOR 6/27/2010 5:44PM

    Your daughter is an inspiration!!! I wonder where she gets it from......could it be Mom!!!!??

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REGMAGLYPTS 6/27/2010 2:16PM

    oh mom! You are so sweet! I hope you know how special and amazing you are!

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LORIANNHOFFMAN 6/27/2010 11:02AM

    Thanks Jackie...I am indeed a very fortunate momma. I don't know what I would do without her.

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CARDSFAN720 6/27/2010 10:45AM

    Your daughter is such an inspiration and blessing! How fortunate you are! emoticon

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LORIANNHOFFMAN 6/27/2010 10:22AM

    ahhh...she will, she stalks my page regularly. emoticon

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ANNE7X7 6/27/2010 8:16AM

    That is very sweet! Your daughter seems like a smart, positive woman!! You should definitely make sure she reads this!

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