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"My" 15 Ways to Put the Joy Back Into My Life

Friday, April 01, 2011

There is joy in my life. Sometimes, like the people in my life, the joy is in the coming of ? or the joy is in the the going of ?. LOL I have been battling "DEPRESSION" for a while now. It isn't the first time in my life but the worst time is always the one you are in. One of the things that helps me a lot is to get my mind off of me and onto others. (Yeah, I know it sounds so easy. . . "NOT!") I have noticed, while reading my Sparkpeople team blogs, several Spark friends have been having some rough times with depression also. (Misery loves company isn't really true ... it just breeds more of the same ... Yes, this I know! But we can try to boost one another up the ladder instead of down the slide.) It is not my desire to offend, be a know-it-all, or cause frustration. Listed below are some things that I have accumulated through time from others who desired to "help" me. Everyone of these were of some help to "me" in some way, at sometime. I know that everyone is different and thereby will react differently to them. I pray that in some way something here will help to put the joy back into a life. Besides medication and professional counseling, they are:
1 - Exercising in some form (anything ... walking, swimming, pacing, pacing the stairs, playing with the dog, dancing, dancing with the dog, beating a rug, scrubbing floors, swinging, hopscotch ... etc.) I have "forced" myself to move by setting up to meet others to walk at the mall or go the YMCA or whatever at the park. It helps me to just move, especially if someone else is expecting me to pick them up to go.
2- Be in a bright and well lit area (turn those lights on & know it is cheaper than a hospital stay .. why do you think the hospitals are so well lit inside?).
3 - Just hold, pet or interact with an animal (people come under another category than pets so children and spouses don't count here) if you don't have access to a pet borrow one or visit a pet shop or animal shelter (you don't have to purchase a pet, just make yourself available to feel their unconditional affection ... some shelters have volunteers come in just to do that very thing to keep the animals from feeling depressed)
4 - Interact with positive people (children and spouse may qualify here but not necessarily ... key word is positive ... this doesn't mean to avoid the family you have in your home, they are part of your life and must be included in it ... within reason) Make a phone call, write a letter (yes it is called snail mail), send a post card, pay a visit, have some one come over to play cards, have a home party.
5 - Hug at least "7" times a day. (Not all at once but ask, seek and take/give what you can.)(Your family may find this annoying ... my do ... but do it anyway.)My hairdresser was surprised the first time but expects always now and I get one when I go in and when I go out... that's two.)
6 - Find some music you love (NOT blues!) and play it consistently (set it to replay if your able)where ever you are, even if it is at whisper volume is helps to set a frame of mind even if you don't think your listening to it.
7 - Put things you love around you whatever that may be (favorite colors, pictures, ceramics, crafts or the materials for them if that is your thing.) Dig out that collage you made for Sparkpeople of your joys and put it where you can see it. If you didn't make one, do it now.
8 - pick a scent (or more but not in the same place at the same time) you love and put it through out your spaces (house, car, yard, work, etc.) I boil water with mint tea bags. When I can get jasmine and/or gardenia room scented oils or candles I use them.
9 - Put things you like to touch in all your spaces or carry it around with you (like that stuffed toy you might have had as a child). I have some special fabric pillow cases I use. I also purchased a piece of fake rabbit fur and have a square of it in my purse or pocket that I can discretely use.
10 - Be cautious to "NOT" surround yourself with all those delicious things to eat at home, but perhaps set up a once a week (or longer ... I do once every two weeks) treat to eat (stay sensible but fun) out at a place that has a happy atmosphere (be it loud or tranquil ... let it be "your" happy place).
11 - Listen to, watch, read or ? Something that makes you LAUGH (laughter IS great medicine) or at least gives you big smiles (sometimes watching people in the middle of a big mall will do it for me but I love exploring the Sparkpeople blogs and watching movies on Roku or Netflix).
12 - Write yourself a love letter! No slacking here! List the good things in your life, if you need to go back to your childhood. No buts, ifs, howevers, or twists allowed. You might have to spend some time on this one, but (lol ... I know I said no buts) it will be well worth it!!!
13 - Write a love letter to someone (or several someones) that has caused you hurt or pain (the greater the hurt or pain the better but even a little one qualifies). Again ... NO buts, ifs, howevers, or twists allowed. This does not need to be delivered (unless you feel a need to do so). Seek the goodness in that person in whatever way you can (maybe they are well organized or a snappy dresser just as an example). This is a terrific release from your person!!! You should know that unresolved issues can cause great physical and emotional pain. I so know this!!! (The Bible tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves and to forgive others as we wish to be forgiven. There is healing here.)
14 - Verbally say "5" things that brought you joy during your day.(If this is too difficult to begin with start with "3".) (Examples might be: I got dressed before noon today, I got dressed today, I saw a wildflower growing in a crack of my drive way, I only have one crack in my drive way, A bird rested on my window sill, A squirrel chased off a bird resting on my window sill, My child called me (it doesn't matter it was to borrow money), I didn't have any bills in my mailbox today (it doesn't matter if you know your behind on any), I did well on my calories through breakfast (it doesn't matter that you blew it the rest of the day during this verbalization). I know time are you to mention the flubs with the buts, ifs, howevers, or twists of any of any of your joys! That is what makes them joys. When you say these things out loud it helps to change a mind set. The Bible says be careful what comes from our mouth for this will make it so. Try repeating to yourself each day, "I am a good person! I can accomplish many things! I have many wonderful qualities! I am worthy of respect! I am worthy to give and receive love and friendship! I am somebody!" or make up your own.
15 - Pray, read the Bible, Pray, read the Bible, Pray, read the Bible ... "And if we know that he hears us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him."
I John 5:15

Love, emoticon and Blessings,
Keep smiling sunshine, emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARINEMAMA 5/7/2011 6:09AM

    This is great!!!!! hanks for sharing!!

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BLEGNER1 5/3/2011 6:35AM

    I just thought of something that I do every day or try to. I remember that every day is beautiful in its own special way. Sometimes we have to ponder and think to find those special things. We have to smell the roses along the way. When ever I start to slip, I give myself a pep talk about stopping the stinkin" thinkin'. That makes me aware of what I am doing and I can turn it around.
Read your bible also. It is what this life is all about.
Remember that there are lots of people out here who you make feel good when you like something on their activity page and they get the notice about it. I know I do and if I do I know that there are others who will be feeling the same way.
God's blessings (Do you know about the power of blessing?)

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MKT-PLAN 4/2/2011 5:40PM

    Great ideas, I will use some of them! I hope you are having a wonderful weekend!

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JUSTA123 4/2/2011 12:14PM

    emoticon and thanks for sharing! emoticon

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BLEGNER1 4/2/2011 4:21AM

    Most of the things you have listed, I have done for years, maybe that is why I don't get depressed too often. Thanks for writing this so I was able to see why.

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MARLINDA5 4/2/2011 1:18AM

    Thank you for sharing and the reminders - I will print this out and post it at work (especially) and at home to remind me when I am down -

emoticon emoticon

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STILLOUT2LUNCH 4/1/2011 11:57PM

    What lovely ideas. I have one I found recently. Smile at yourself in the mirror for one full minute. No cheating. Look yourself in the eye and just smile. Within a week you will be feeling better. Then just keep it up. No slacking on the time, one minute.

I love you, Loretta. God was so good to put you into my life.

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MKACILLAS 4/1/2011 4:51PM


Lots of great ideas! emoticon

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VENISEW1 4/1/2011 3:53PM

    Thanks for sharing emoticon

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GIRLINBRAZIL 4/1/2011 1:35PM

    Great things to do! I do a lot of them already. I so love to have lots of lights on. Sadly I'm married to a Mr. Tightwad who sees the lights as waste. But I can turn them on when he's not around!

Love your post!


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TEDYBEAR2838 4/1/2011 1:34PM

    You have a lot of emoticon ideas to help with depression. Just remember to put them into practice.

I'm sure they'll help lots of folks on SP

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Beauty Among the Garbage, Trash & Slime

Monday, March 21, 2011

emoticon Last week I took a walk with my four year old grandson. At one point we came to an area that was garbage, trash and slime everywhere you looked. We stopped and gazed at the disgusting mess that actually sent shivers throughout my body. Yuck! Then Jarred pulls on my hand all excited and is practically yelling. . . "Look, look, isn't it beautiful grandmomma?" I couldn't understand. He continued jumping up and down claiming it was beautiful. I looked harder at what he was now pointing at. Then I saw it ... it was a teeny-tiny flower that was smaller than my pinky toenail growing among the garbage, trash and slime. It was beautiful! And I had missed it altogether! Wow! It made me wonder how many wildflowers in my life I had missed the joy of because of the garbage, trash and slime I had been surrounded with.
On Sunday, a lovely woman I know brought me a couple of recipes. She had made a wonderful lunch a week earlier that other friends and I had shared. I had remarked how awesome the food was and I wished I could make something as good as she did. She had taken that to heart and decided to share a few of her family special recipes with me. I told her thank you and that she was a beautiful wildflower in my day. She looked at me strangely and said "What?" I told her about Jarred and our walk and how I was now actively searching for the beautiful wildflowers in my life every day. She cried and told me that I had just became the wildflower in her day. Then I cried. Isn't it funny where wildflowers will grow?
Where did you find a wildflower today? emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KLS777 3/26/2011 11:30PM

    What a lovely blog!

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STILLOUT2LUNCH 3/24/2011 6:28PM

    What a lovely story, Loretta. You are such a beautiful wildflower growing amongst all the trash out there. And I'm so lucky to have you growing right in my back yard (well, at least down the road!) What a total delight it is to get to know you and spend time with you, emoticon

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JUSTA123 3/24/2011 11:10AM

    That is so beautiful, what a great idea looking for the wild flowers in your life.Have a good day my friend!

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TEDYBEAR2838 3/24/2011 8:40AM

    That is beautiful, now you have me crying!

Good job

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MKACILLAS 3/22/2011 12:43PM

    good blog. My wildflower is my daughter Shannon that went on a job interview today. She has been out of work for 9 months. She has a spirit that doesn't give up and neither do I. emoticon

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MKT-PLAN 3/22/2011 10:01AM

    Awesome blog!

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MOTHBALLS 3/22/2011 6:26AM

    Thanks for the reminder to stop and enjoy the little things in life. I neede that.

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MARLINDA5 3/22/2011 1:13AM

    My wildflower was seening how beautiful today was after all that rain - I wish I had my camera to take a picture of the sky. So many big puffy clouds and the sky was actually so blue & the air was so clean.

thank you for sharing - it also made me cry.


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BACKTOTEN12 3/21/2011 11:58PM

    The wildflowers are everywhere. The good is so much more pleasant than the bad. Why are we so obsessed with the evil, when the beauty and good is so much better to focus on. I thank God every day for our wonderful world and my newfound health. Great blog!

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BLEGNER1 3/21/2011 11:23PM

    My wildflower was in my mailbox today. I will keep my open for even more since my eyes have been opened. God bless you for sharing.

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MEADSBAY 3/21/2011 8:15PM

    Beautiful blog!
I am keeping my eyes wide open for those wildflowers!

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LEANJEAN6 3/21/2011 6:58PM

    This is a lovely blog--made me think ---- Thank-yu so much!

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DOLLBABE56 3/21/2011 6:50PM

    Oh, I love this!!! You are precious.

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GIRLINBRAZIL 3/21/2011 6:42PM



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SHERLYN-WILL 3/21/2011 5:27PM

    Now I am teary eyed! THAT really warmed my heart when the lady who brought you recipes was so touched and then told it back to you!

HOW precious!

Thanks for sharing..


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SHASTA11 3/21/2011 4:55PM

    Out of the mouths of babes. How sweet. My wildflower is when my precious granddaughter, Ashlin, and I have hot fudge sundaes. Sure it's not something we saw amid the garbage, but they sure gladden our hearts.

Have a great day.

Hugs, Joan


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STILLOUT2LUNCH 3/21/2011 4:52PM

    Not sure how to leave a comment on your spark page so I'm just writing a note here on your blog. I had such a good time today!! I have been praying for a friend to do things with for so long and I think you may be God's answer. Thanks so much for today. You don't know how much it meant to me. emoticon

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A Simple But Full Day

Saturday, February 05, 2011

emoticon Prelude to this public blog.
FYI ... It has been requested that I post another "PUBLIC" blog by several spark friends. I have been doing daily journals which give me spark points as a blog but are private. It has been my way of being honest with myself and yet not hurtful to some of those around me.

Today has been a simple but full day. It began with waking up to new born kittens crying for their mommy just outside my bedroom window. It brought a smile to my face as, in my mind, I pictured these tiny balls of fluff and the joys they'll discover as they grow each day. Not only will they find joy but they will give joy to those who are around them. Then I snuggled up closer to my dh and felt safe and cared for as I became more aware of my surroundings. The sun was shining through the fake stain windows letting me know it was truly morning. (I had just finished the windows a couple weeks ago and am still marveling on how lovely they look.) I went through my morning ritual of personal cleaning and primping. I then went downstairs to feed the animals and dh. The dh and I had some pleasant conversation and went over our tentative agenda for the day. He was going to our eldest son's house to help work on his roof and I had a breakfast meeting with some ladies from my church. We both got dressed and went our separate ways. (I was suppose to meet him at our son's for lunch.) The church meeting went well and we all had brought food for breakfast. It was wonderfully delicious. There were lots of fruit (I took honey dew melon) and other healthy items to choose from. I made good choices which only helped to make my day more enjoyable. After the meeting some of us made up Valentine cards to share at a local rehab center. It was fun and we were able to make enough for all the residents and staff. One of the ladies who visits the center regularly is going to deliver them at the appropriate time. Immediately after I met with a friend to discuss and brain storm on how to make over a couple of the church classrooms. We came up with some good ideas and made a list of supplies we will need initially. I believe one of the rooms will have a "Veggie Tale" theme. It is possible another friend will do a mural on one of the walls for us. At some point in the next couple of weeks we will be taking a trip to a couple of places to check out some fun type items to use as center points in one of the rooms. After I got home I made up some bar-b-que chicken (healthy style), some side salads, fruit cups and green tea to take to my sons house for lunch and went over. It seems that it had rained over his way an hour and a half earlier so they had taken a break and went out for lunch. They had just gotten back. Hmmm .... guess what supper is tonight? lol (I was surprised that they hadn't bother to call me and let me know plans had changed and I did mention that to them before I left ... in a casual and kind way of course). I let them get back to work since the rain had stopped and I came on home. There is so much I needed to get done that this was a good opportunity to do that. Some of these included but not exclusive to "Christmas" items boxed and still waiting to be put away, laundry to be done, two bathrooms that need attending and a stack of mending I have been putting off. I checked my phone messages when I got home and discovered a call from my daughter. My grandchildren will be here at 6:30 am tomorrow and staying until I take them to school on Monday morning because of their mom's work schedule. It will be nice to have them in church with me on Sunday. I managed to get a walk and an a couple of mini 10 minute exercises in and get some sparkpoints done. Yeah! It has been a simple day, but a full one. It is not quit over and I am thinking perhaps some oatmeal-cranberry cookies would be something to make this evening. The cookies would make a big hit with the grandchildren and a healthy treat for the dh and myself as well. Keep smiling sunshine and know that God loves us even in the simplest of days.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAGAMUFFINKEL 2/10/2011 9:37PM

    I dated a guy back when Veggie Tales first became popular--we terrorized my mother bu telling her if we got married the whole event would have a Veggie Tales Theme...she was not impressed!

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MARINEMAMA 2/9/2011 8:08PM

    Sounds like a wonderful day!!!

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MARLINDA5 2/7/2011 12:37AM

    I use to buy the Veggie Tales DVD for my children when they were young - I enjoy those books & movies - what a good idea to paint one of the classrooms with the Veggie Tales.

Sounds like you had busy but nice day. Have a great week. emoticon

I think small kittens are so cute.

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OPALMOON 2/6/2011 6:45PM

    That was a very productive day!

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JUSTA123 2/6/2011 11:13AM

    What a lovely day! emoticon

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COUSINCAROL 2/5/2011 7:33PM

    How lovely. You had a great day and I am so happy you shared it with us.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Valuable but

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

emoticon A list of things I am thankful for that are not tangible but valuable to me ... my personal relationship with God, getting up excited about my day, sharing with others who will be encouraged by me and I by them, loyalty, working with a body of people who are an extension of my family, being given new learning experiences, feeling secure and safe, being awed with the lushness of nature all around, feeling the mental caress of love from others, having respect that is well earned, giving my best, being chosen as a friend, sharing enthusiasm for the adventures of life, truth, fairness, sincere compassion, good health, being able to forgive and to receive forgiveness, play as a child but being an adult, being humble, laughing out loud, falling asleep exhausted at the end of a full day , surviving against the odds, prayer, dancing like no one is watching, protecting those in need, sharing without hesitation, offering unselfishly, be a quiet example that shouts to those watching, sharing the final moments of another precious soul, watching the birth of a new life, the sense of accomplishment having completed a difficult task, being joyful for the blessings of others, witnessing the salvation of another, "peace", smiling sunshine emoticon and sharing it with others

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTA123 2/1/2011 7:29AM

    Very nice blog! Have a good day!

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MORRIS1989 1/30/2011 1:49PM

    GOD is good yes indeed that was a nice blog! emoticon

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MADKAPKID 1/4/2011 9:16AM

    This is a lovely blog! It is uplifting and just makes me feel good. Gratitude, joy, happiness....awesome. Last year we all shared in a smile epidemic, which I still try to do. But this year is the year of gratitude....your lovely blog reaffirms it all! Have a joy filled day, Karen emoticon

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COUSINCAROL 12/1/2010 12:53PM

    Oh thank you Loretta. How your soul talks to mine only the Lord knows but I am thankful for you. You are so special


emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHERLYN-WILL 12/1/2010 10:08AM

    Hey you changed the title.. MY friend feed showed another title!

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SHERLYN-WILL 12/1/2010 8:42AM

    I love this...SO uplifting and inspiring to me! GOD is so good...and nothing else matters!

I appreciate your spirit of thankfullness!

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Confused, Stunned, Crushed, Deceived & yet I move on/forgiving as I desire to be forgiven

Sunday, October 24, 2010

emoticon I have always told everyone I know that if I became a billionaire over night I would not quit my job. I love my job! God placed me in the job I have because if it had been left to me alone I'd have never even known the place existed. It was definitely a "God" thing. I am in my fifth year of teaching Kindergarten and First Grade at a "christian" private school. The principal there has been wonderful and always backed her teachers up. The entire teaching staff are like a well oiled machine working well together and always team players. If someone was having an off day or having difficulty with something, someone always stepped up to help out. We all have felt God put us together and no one questioned that. There were times we have disagreed about things but it has never affected how we worked or cared for one another. This school year things started out a little different. The pastor of the church that sponsors our school (we are on church property) became very involved by being more visible and making more decisions that directly affected everyone. There were new guidelines for all to follow that meant immediate dismissal (such as the raising of voices with students) with no discussion or exempt conditions. The curriculum was changed and the teachers did not get to see it or discuss it until the first day of school (a few got the teacher handbooks the workday before the students came). Standard supply materials were handed out sparingly and sometimes denied with a "promise" of in a few weeks. Our principal has a history of very strong character and kept reassuring each of us that things would be alright, but we began to notice her uneasiness. Something was amiss but no one could put their finger on it. Our principal, as usual, went out of her way to help each and everyone of us with adjusting and encouraging each of us in individual ways. She has had all of our respect (and love). There was no greater boss. Then one day she confided in one of the teachers (we found out weeks later) that the pastor would not listen to her anymore and was not even being respectful about it. ) Two weeks ago, a Sunday, at 9:45pm I got a strange message on my phone machine. The message was from "Dr." ???? (the pastor) and he said this was not an emergency but please call him back when I got this message. The time didn't matter even it were midnight... my class was fine and so was my job, but it was very important that I call him back. Hmmm .... when I called back he said he just wanted to inform me that our principal would not be there any more, that her and the high school teacher (her husband) had turned in their resignation without any notice. . . school would resume as usual the next morning and "Christmas" was coming. emoticon Pray, pray, pray ... that is what I did most of the night (getting little to no sleep) and knowing there was a lot more to that story. The next day we found out the "day care" director was taking over as principal and some other church administration (including the pastor) would also be pitching in where needed. Cell phones became necessary to get help or contact any of them during the day and because I didn't have one I was just going to have to deal with it the best I was able. Tuesday (the day before progress reports went out) everyone was to turn in the reports to the new principal to review before making our copies and sending them home. Wednesday we were told the reports would not be going home until later and a note would be sent home. The note was handed out to parents picking students up and none of the teachers got to see the note until requested later in the week. We were stunned to discover they wanted us to change grades and redo the progress reports by their new guidelines. Strange questions and inquiries into our classrooms and how we were doing things progressed throughout the week. Middle school lost their teacher on Friday. The following Tuesday I was requested to have a word
with the pastor before I left at 3pm (I was ill and was headed to my doctors immediately after school). He asked me in to the principals office (across the hall) and shut the door with the three of us inside (principal, pastor & myself). The pastor said he knows first hand how stressful it is to have a parent with health problems. He said he felt it was too much for me along with the stress of my job and I should look for something with less stress as a job and take more time with my mother. I was "STUNNED!" He kept talking like this was all about his pastoral concern for me, but wouldn't really allow me to speak. Trying to spin this around gracefully I said I had been praying about my mom's situation. I really wasn't ready to go though. The pastor said the decision had been made and I didn't need to be concerned about my class and they had someone to take it over (it wasn't my aide). They would take care of everything ... it was under control. It was already arranged to have the new teacher in the morning. My saying I'd like to come in and go over some things concerning lessons, supplies, files and the class were not even acknowledged, just ignored. The pastor said they would pay me through this week and half of next. He also said he would give me a "glowing" reference if I cared to use him. He told me not to return until after 3pm on Friday to get my personal things. The principal said it was so I would not upset the children. The school has chapel on Wednesday and I requested to come while they were there to get some of my things then. He said it was alright as long as the children were not there. The principal followed me into my class room to get my things to go immediately after. emoticon The next day the principal sat outside the school's front door to let parents know I had to leave to take care of my mother. I dropped off my granddaughter who goes to school there, so I got to see this first hand. (Those who truly know me, know I would have been more professional than that and most certainly not have been trying to set up conferences for the following week the very last day I was there if it had been my idea.) emoticon I turned in my keys on Friday and got the remainder of my things. I had to go to three people before I could get a receipt for the keys ($500. fine if not returned). I was told that my last pay check was the receipt for the keys but they couldn't give that check to me then. My current weeks pay check was there and a refund check for monies I had been paying since school started for college classes in Christian Education. The classes were offered on our campus and taught by the pastor. This surprised me even more since I had not requested it. I did ask that they not take it out of my last remaining checks since I wasn't certain how long my money would need to last for me. I went to find the pastor to ask him about the checks but discovered he and his wife had left to be on vacation for a week and a half. Hmmm ... emoticon I heard that someone else from school gave their notice the day after I left. A couple of my students families have seen me since I was dismissed and asked about my mother and their concern about her and myself because I left so abruptly. I told them (kindly) I was fired even though my mother's illness was true and that it was the reason that was given to me for dismissal. emoticon I am praying for the staff, old, new, gone and remaining. I am especially praying for the children and their families . emoticon I am wondering just what would happen "if" I claim unemployment. Hmmm ... emoticon I am the "sunshine" teacher who will continue to smile sunshine. emoticon I went to two church services. One each at two different churches today. God gave me a word ... "take this time to rest." It is my intention to do just that. I will forgive as I desire to be forgiven (this is not an easy thing). What else I do will depend on prayer, discernment and what I believe is God's will for me. For now I will listen and know God ... I will rest. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OPALMOON 11/29/2010 8:41AM

    So sorry to hear you have had this experience. How could you not be stunned - and possibly feeling numb for a little while. Your devotion to your work and students cannot be taken away from you however, and I am sure when the time is right, God will open another door. In the meantime you have some space to focus on your mother. I hope the sun comes out again for you soon.

emoticon emoticon


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NPA4LOSS 10/30/2010 6:53PM

    I have seen the underbelly of the the ministry and it is not always a very pretty sight. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You deserve better that you got but the Good Lord doesn't like these control freaks any more than we do and will take care of things in His own time. emoticon and emoticon

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BESTSUSIEYET 10/30/2010 3:01PM

    My thoughts and prayers are with you -- I can only imagine the hurt and confusion you are feeling! It does sound very strange the way things are being handled!! You are right to keep your eyes on the Lord and know he has all things under control -- and he has a good plan for your future! I pray for his peace and wisdom during this time of rest -- God bless you, my friend! emoticon

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MARLINDA5 10/29/2010 1:30AM

    There is nohting wrong with filing for unemplyment - you deserve to get it. My cousin had to file for it and he is receiving it and my sister was let go also and had to file for it also.

It's hurtful because of what they did and you didn't deserve it but you do deserve the unemployment.

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COUSINCAROL 10/28/2010 7:23PM

    Hello Sunshine.. Just read your blog and I want you to know that I will keep you in my prayers, also your pastor as he needs the Lords help to remember what he was called to do. I agree you should go for your unemployment benefits and get some rest and the Lord in his wisdom will surely open a new door for you.

Love in Christ

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MARLINDA5 10/27/2010 12:57AM

    I am so sorry to hear about what happened.
My cousin said you would not have any problem getting unemployment and as you stated above - use this time to rest and take care of your mom and yourself. You deserve it. You are a wonderful person. God will protect you and be there for you.

Al and I will pray for you during this time.

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FUNDYWHALE 10/25/2010 5:07PM

    Hi, back again. I know the pain that you feel that comes deep within the heart. I taught at our christian school. Loved being there. Loved those kids as my own. (children of my own was not to be my portion from the Lord). In Canada christian schools, were a rare exception. The government delt very hard with them in rules and regulations. Our church was very blessed to have it's own christian school. Our pastor who founded the school answered the call to the mission field. Our next pastor didn't have a burden for our school. I and another staff member kept the school going for next 4 years. Pastor didn't want the school so it folded. Yes, I was deeply hurt. It was like my kids were ripped away from me. I eventually allowed God to heal me over this and restore my joy. The saddest part of this is, that we had a school of 56 students. (A large number for such a small area). Of those 56 students there may be 1 still in church. I guess what I an saying is my hurts healed as I know the Lord will lift you up also.
As I read your blog I know that there were some underhand things said and done that should never be in a church leader's life. He will reap what he sows. It is still our duty as those who love God to pray for those who despitefully use us. I know that you have wonderful spirit and will shine through this.
Apply for you unemployment benifits. You would certainly would be entitled to them one reason would be ..."let go without a valid reason"
Take your rest as God has said. Keep lifting those children up in prayer. Always keep your window to God's word open!
Like you always say "keep smiling sunshine" May the Lord bless you and lift you up.
Love in Jesus name,Chris
(I will keep in touch via snail mail) Oh ya your last name(married) is in my family tree.Maybe we swing from the same branch!!...just kidding

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SKPOEM 10/25/2010 3:10PM

  I agree with what has been said above. I'd go get a letter of reference to keep in your files. I'd then go in to unemployment and indicate that you were told you were being replaced. My understanding is that they would have to have something to prove that you quit in order to not pay unemployment. I'd also get with others that were fired in similar circumstances and write a letter to all that might have been affected by what happened explaining your point of view of the situation and send it to all, including the administration. In it invite the current administration to respond and allow you to respond to their responses, thereby sparking a healthy debate. You might even suggest a parent meeting where both sides are allowed to present their sides to the parents with the opportunity for the other side to respond. This would make it sound like you just want what is best for the school and aren't trying to blast the administration. The parents could then make their decisions. Some will choose to stay, but if people understand what happened they may either decide to leave or will push for change. Just an idea.

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FLAME42 10/25/2010 11:19AM

    My prayers are with you and the class you were forced to leave behind. I think the parents of that school need to know the truth about why their teachers are (leaving).
Watch for the next door that God WILL open for you!

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MKT-PLAN 10/25/2010 10:56AM

    Praying for you! This same crap happened at the Christian school where my son attended. The slimy pastor (we didn't attend the church the school was sponsored by) hired a new assistant pastor. The new assistant pastor fired the "maintenance/cleaning/odd jobs" person who had two daughters attending the school. It was done in a very unChristian like way and a few teachers quit. Then the next school year they appointed the assistant pastor's wife as assistant principal. The school was not that big and she was not needed. Then they went after the principal who had been there 15 years and at the end of the school year he had had enough and announced that it was his last year. His departure caused 10 more teachers to leave and about 100 students (us included). Of course they appointed the assistant principal to principal and the school went down hill. It has been 5 years and the school has never recovered from it A majority of people left the church and went elsewhere. It was a horrible and depressing thing to go through and it is horrible that "pastors" and other supposed "Christians" can act like that and do the horrible things they did. I'm praying for you and hoping this time of rest will be physically and spiritually healing!

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BENDER7 10/25/2010 7:39AM

    Praying with you that God will again lead you where you can impact young lives with your knowledge & care.

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FUNDYWHALE 10/25/2010 6:36AM

    Hi! read your blog as you requested. Must be going out the door in a very few minutes so don't have time to respond. Won't deactivate my account until later this evening to give me a chance to get back to you. I am at loss for words right now!

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CBEVNOW 10/25/2010 12:02AM

    I had almost the same thing happen to me about 8 years ago. Yes i was so hurt as you are. I would write the childrens parents a letter and tell them what happened, but i would wait a while before doing this, they deserve to know what happened .I am like you i was so concerned for the children. I hope you get your unemployment, if they turn you down fight for it. I did not fight for mine and after wards i wish i had.God will be just.I found another job at a Christian School, so i know you will find something. It makes you wonder how Christians can be like this. Blessings to you,

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TEDYBEAR2838 10/24/2010 10:24PM

    WOW, what a tough situation. I know that God does not make mistakes, but men do. I also know that God will honor your professionalism and reliance on Him for your strength.

God Bless You!

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WANDAC2013 10/24/2010 9:38PM

    I'm sorry that you, other teachers, and the children have been treated in such an awful manner. This situation is kind of scary... spiritual warfare is going on there. BALessings and prayers to you.

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SWEETLIPS 10/24/2010 9:27PM

    Yes, you do have the right to file unemployment, however, I would request a letter of recommendation for you to review prior. Be mindful that you may have to fight for the unemployment, as the sincerity sounds dubious. In fact, you may have to get with others as well.

Forgiving is something that God has requested of us, as just as God knows you are human, he knows it will take time as well. For me, how I know that I am forgiving, less and less pain, less details are available in my memory and then I know I am on my way. Blessing to you and your family and momma.

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LIFE-FAITH 10/24/2010 9:22PM

    I cried as I read this - You deserve so much better respect than what you got. Yes, forgive them, but go get your unemployment money. Take care of you - take a break and yes find a different church.

God Bless you!

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GIRLINBRAZIL 10/24/2010 8:57PM

    Oh Sunshine! We all feel for you. I carefully read your whole note. I know that God will take care of you and take care of all your needs. Please do keep smiling and keep sharing your sunny smiles with us here on Spark People!

Praying for you and the school!


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MEADSBAY 10/24/2010 8:51PM

    How horrible!
I feel so bad for you and your students and the whole school which seems like it is being driven into a ditch by this pastor.
Take some time to process this and decide what to do next.
I don't think you should cover up for him at all with parents or the community- hold your head up high and tell the truth.
I actually have a friend who taught at a Catholic school for 10 years and a new principal came in and drove about half of the teachers out of there by the end of the school year.
I hate to say it, but this sort of thing cannot happen in a school with a union.
Take care of yourself, my friend.


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MELTEAGUE 10/24/2010 8:30PM

    O my goodness! I can't believe there are such manitpulating people out there!
May God lead you to a safe place in HIM!!!
Thankfully you are free from their "tyranny".....I know you will find a place where you belong and where that kind of thing does not happen!
Remember that GOD is your "boss" . not the principal or the pastor......
so sorry that you had to go through this~ !

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SHERLYN-WILL 10/24/2010 8:26PM

    OH I feel so bad for you! WHAT a shock... what a sad confusing thing!

I will pray for you to find peace and that you do get to REST in GOD!.

BLESS your heart... I feel for you!

I have not had a similiar situation


I did have one similiarity in that we had a new pastor come to our church after our other one passed away in his 60's of brain cancer.

This other one "SEEMED" great and boy could he speak! I say speak because he could speak on frogs and everyone would HAVE LISTENED... HE preached God's word 'some'....

GOD started pulling me from the church..... I am sure....
I started seeing this 35 yr old preacher take more control of the church than he should have had! He lied and did other non christian things and people acted mesmorized by him...????
80 people left... (we had about 200) and people still acted like he was called to be our pastor... THEY all left over him!
HE and this pastor that fired you... definitely sound similiar in that they act out with too much control!

HUGS MY DEAR and I am praying!!!!

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QTEALADY20031 10/24/2010 8:16PM

    You are a very successful teacher, you have given your time, talent and love to the profession. God will guide you as to where you should go next. I agree with onceuponmylips. You should collect unemployment. You were fired. You did not resign. You will need the financial assistance until you find another position. Good luck and the best to you.
God will lead you. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PURPLESPEDCOW 10/24/2010 8:04PM

    It sounds like a control freak is in charge and it will show when word gets out (and the truth always comes out) what is really going on at the school. I feel sorry for the students and the stress this is causing them. I know that you will find a door open for you soon. Apply for unemployment because you were fired for no cause that I see. Take care of yourself and your mother.

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TYEASLEY 10/24/2010 7:54PM

    How awful for people who hide behind the Christian guise to mistreat others and then to classify it as your left on your on will. God didn't bring you this far to leave you. I am very disappointed for those who have mistreated you and others, especially now when your mom is experiencing health issues.

Remember, you are a great person, a great teacher and God didn't bring you this far to leave you now. (I intentionally said it twice) Also as one door closes another will surely open. Keep your head up and do not despair. Something awesome is just around the corner. Be ready for it. They didn't name you Sunshine Teacher for nothing.

YOU are not alone. I speak from experience, be ready for the upcoming GOOD. As you go through this process with your blessings just around the corner, please keep me updated. I want to know the wonderful things that will soon be. I just LOVE a happy ending. It's coming. . . . be patient, be forgiving . . . . for "they know not what they do" and celebrate in the luxury of time that you have to spend with your mom and other family members.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ONCEUPONMYLIPS 10/24/2010 7:52PM

    Apply for unemployment. You did not resign, they fired you, in effect telling you had no business working and should be caring for your mother. They're also telling everyone that your mother is ill, which frankly, is not there place to do, and is also a flat out lie if they are telling others that is why you "quit". Your pastor is unethical in making up his own truth, and I'd be shopping for a new church.

Unemployment has nothing to do with forgiveness, it has to do with supporting yourself financially, so do go apply.

Good luck, and I hope you find another job that was as fufilling as this one was before your pastor decided to meddle. He shouldn't be fixing things that aren't broken.

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