Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I am internally conflicted. I have been having strange urges to cheat on my eating plan. This ranges from all-out binges to sneaking a few grams more than my recorded serving size. For example, I weighed out the dry portion of tortellini for dinner, then found the exact proportion for my serving based on the total cooked weight. Then, I added 5-10 grams. Those 5-10 grams on every serving add up, not to mention the larger issue that keeps leading to mulitple-thousand-calorie days.
Why am I self-sabotaging? I am struggling to find the real answer.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
An away photo... probably my highest weight, spring '05...
Here is the away-from motivation... my belly, which feels like an egg. Hard outer shell, squishy right beneath, mushy organ-y center, sticking out over the top of my pants. Gross.
Here is my bad... two majorly high calorie days this week. Almost 5000 on Saturday, in a candy binge at my parent's house, and over 3000 calories today with a company-sponsored lunch complete with appetizers, and a dinner in which I should have cut the guac in half!
Here are two good things I did, which I will continue to improve upon... First, I did not totally go crazy after dinner, when I wanted to continue the binge and eat sweets. I did give into a piece of chocolate, but it was only 60 calories. One small step! Second, I have recommited to my exercise plan this week and have sprinkled some extra TV-Treadmill walking into my schedule.
Here is my towards motivation... legs that are thin, like they felt last year around this time, swimming in my size 11 grey pants.
Here is a towards photo (Nastia Lukin)...
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I just finished two candy bars and three chocolate truffles. I feel the rush of sugar and emotionally am quite happy. I know this happiness won't last. I also had too much to eat at all my meals today. Instead of focusing on this, I'm going to try to recap how I've been good the past week, not to justify the bad, but to remind myself of the happiness that comes from knowing I'm doing good for myself and by working towards my goals.
Yesterday, I avoided sweets several times! First, I stopped for gas and really wanted to buy a candy bar. I had to enter the convenience store to get some windshield washer fluid. I have patterns of binging at convenience stores when I travel for work. I knew that I'd been working hard, so I passed up the sweets and got a low-calorie fruit drink. YAY ME!!!
When I got to the hotel, I really wanted the cookies that they always put out on the table, but there weren't any there. Part of me wanted to go out and get some dessert, but I didn't. I did the bootcamp workout and some yoga and went to sleep.
I also have been working out like crazy lately, and I've continued to do it this week. I'm going to try to fit in all of my workouts this week, although they'll be shuffled since I don't have all the videos to do while I'm traveling. This is OK... I'm going to do it!!!!!
Despite my setback with food today, I'm going to still aim to loose 5 pounds by the end of January. As of Monday, I was down about 1.5... I've got lots of work to do! Time to hit the weights!
Thursday, January 08, 2009
I've been eating quite well for more than a week now, with no major overages. My last bad day was New Year's eve. And yet, I'm a pound heavier than I was on Tuesday! I feel mushy all over, and it's not TTOM. I'm going to be even more dilligent about measuring my food, but I'm going to stick with the 1300-1500 and not short myself. I will be closer to 1200 today, since we're going out to eat tomorrow. Hooray! I am for real only going to eat half the meal... and that's final.
On a positive note, I've been very good about my exercise as well, and my mental outlook on food is much better. Yay, progress!
For motivation, here's Nastia Lukin:
Sunday, January 04, 2009
I have a full January planned! To sort out the weekly schedule...
Running: 6x/week (5 miles weekdays, one "long" run 6-8)
Callanetics: 2 short + 1 long workout
Yoga: 2 short + 1 long
New You Bootcamp: daily 10-minute workout
Strength: 3 times per week (approx 30 minutes)
walking on treadmill (30 minute sessions)
Here is a tentative layout:
Monday: 5 miles, bootcamp, yoga
Tuesday: 5 miles, bootcamp, strength
Wednesday: 5 miles, bootcamp, short callanetics
Thursday: 5 miles, bootcamp, strength, short yoga
Friday: 5 miles, bootcamp, short callanetics
Saturday: long run, bootcamp, yoga
Sunday: bootcamp, strength, long callentics
I'll probably cut back a little after January, but this should be a good kick-start to the year. I'm planning to eat 1300-1500 calories each day to fuel me!
Starting weight (Jan 4): 128.6
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