Saturday, August 30, 2008
I haven't had much time to blog lately, but I'm hoping that now that things are calming down more, I will have more time. This will be one of my shortest blogs yet. Since the beginning of July I have been getting negative test results on test after test after test (home pregnancy test). I must have taken atleast 10 home tests, and they all come back negative. After being more than 2 weeks late, I called the doctor and she had me go in for a blood test. After hiking all the way to the hospital to have it done, we call the next day to get the results...negative. Are you kidding me!??! I'm now on my 3rd week of being late, and just for the hell of it, we go to the dollar store and get a dollar pregnancy test. I decide to wait till the morning to take it, something about morning pee being stronger, I don't make the rules, I just follow them (sometimes). Right away it already looks like it will come up negative, so I leave the bathroom to get the kids we already have up for breakfast. I don't know why I went back to the bathroom, but I did, and I looked at the test once more, and to my astonishment there was a very light, very faint pink line...OMG! Could it be?? I'm pregnant?? Again...going for 3 under 3. Now I know there are a few of you reading this, thinking "but she is a smoker!" Don't worry, once I get the definate postive result from the doctor, I will put up my lighers and give up smoking, hoping for more than 9 months, but lets aim small.
So there you have it, a possible pregnant fat chick.
P.S. The test I used for the picture is the exact same kind I used, and the faint line is almost the same as what I saw (no it isn't mine though).
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Everyone has a purpose in life, and I believe mine is to allow others to feel better about theirs. Just when you think, everything is flowing smoothly, reality sets in.
For the first time since Taya was born, we finally had a kid-free night where one of us didn’t have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn the next day. We were gonna go out and paint the town, take full advantage of our ‘no kid’ situation. Our first order of business is to get clean, so we take our showers, and then decided to give Matt’s best friend (and I use the term loosely) a call to see if he and his girlfriend wanted to join us. Turns out, she was working till 9pm, and even though he was all for it, he still had to talk to her about it (understandable). We however weren’t waiting 2 ½ hours to eat, so we told him to meet us at the restaurant, just to let us know what was going on. He only lived a block away from it, so he wasn’t going out of his way…he agreed, and Matt and I walked to Friendly’s.
I definitely got in my cardio, damn hills returned on me. For anyone who knows what Friendly’s is, you understand why I was willing to battle those hills. For those who don’t…it is the greatest, family restaurant around, and serves the best ice cream (definitely have to keep your calories low for the day to eat there). Well we got there around 7:30pm or so and out of all the empty seats in the joint, we were placed directly next to the kitchen. Shrug it off, not gonna let anything ruin my night out. So our waitress comes over, and takes our drink, and appetizer orders. Finally a server who is competent. (I’ve been a waitress, so I know the stresses and everything that comes along with the title).
So I started off, with an oreo freeze drink and mini mozzerella sticks, in addition to something healthy…a side salad, no dressing, and OH MY GOD!!! It was beyond awesome. Just thinking about it now, makes me want to trudge back up those hills to get it again. Anyways, before we even finish with our appetizers, out comes the meal, and I definitely wanted to save room for ice cream, since that is the best part, I only ordered a thing of fries, plus I was still working on my salad. Why is it, the very instant you put food in your mouth and begin to chew, that is the exact moment the server takes to check on you? I will never figure that out, that ranks up there with what came first, the chicken or the egg (my theory is egg, cause they never say what kind of egg it is). Moving on, we nodded so that we wouldn’t talk with our mouths full, and as soon as she walked away, I heard music…and not just the music blaring overhead for the whole restaurant to hear, this was something different. It was coming from the kitchen, that we were so nicely placed next to. We were literally yelling over it, and of course our waitress was nowhere to be found, so we couldn’t ask her to do something about it.
Finally she makes another appearance, and of course we ask her about the volume of the music, and of course, she handles it. So our night continues on peacefully and its time to order dessert, mmmmm. I saved up all my calories for the day, for this moment, and it was so worth it. That first bite into my warm brownie sundae with mint chocolate chip, and chocolate brownie ice cream, with sugar free, light hot fudge, reeses pieces, crushed peanut butter cups, and rainbow sprinkles to top it off (are you salivating yet?). Like I said, totally worth conserving all those calories all day long.
Since we finished up before 9pm, we figured we still had time before Matt’s best friend would be showing up. So we walk across the street (look more walking, woohoo!) to CVS Pharmacy, cause I need to fuel my bad habit, and get some cigarettes. As we are walking, we notice that there is a lot of lightening, yet no thunder or rain. When you live in New York, there is one saying you can always live your life by…”if you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes.” Because Matt’s best friend was meeting us at Friendly’s, we had to walk back over there and wait. As we were sitting outside, we watch the lightening, and as soon as I say how weird it was that there was no thunder, a huge clap of thunder bellows throughout the sky. Ok, so a storm is pending, but it’s still not raining yet. Suddenly, the water I had with dinner is kicking in, and I need to make a beeline for the bathroom. On my way back out, I see that it is well after 9pm at this point, and still no friend. Fine, we will give him 20more minutes, and if he doesn’t show we will go from there. As we are still sitting outside, the sound of thunder and the bolts of lightening increase, but still no rain.
At this point, I’m tired of waiting, so I head back inside, because of course the pay phone doesn’t work and already ate one of our quarters (remember when a pay phone only cost 25cents, those were the days). So I go back inside to use their phone, and call best friend…SHOCK! He didn’t answer his phone, so I left him a message simply stating that we were cabbing it over to the bowling alley, and if he wants he can meet us there. I then call the cab company and tell them what they needed to know. Oh goody! More waiting…10-15minutes before the cab can pick us up. Back outside we go to wait some more, and since then the thunder and lightening have increased so much that you can almost smell the rain coming. About 5minutes into our wait, and I feel a drop hit my finger, then another across my face. It was almost as if someone was poking a cloud with a needle and then just cut open the bottom, cause after that it was beyond pouring. We rush to take cover, but it didn’t matter with all the wind, we were still getting wet. 25minutes after we made the call to the cab company (the same one that said 15minutes), the cab pulls into the parking lot, and we dash to it to avoid as much of the rain as possible. I feel weird sitting in the front, so I went straight to the backseat, but thinking he could save time and not get wetter, Matt went to the front passenger seat. Joke was on him though, his window wouldn’t roll up. The whole way there, the rain only came down harder, and the more wet he got, which sucked for me too, cause I was getting the backlash in the backseat.
The night wasn’t going exactly as planned, but it was about to pick up again, there was always fun to be had when bowling…I mean who doesn’t like bowling. Plus I was finally going to be able to drink more than one alcoholic beverage, since there were no kids to go home too, and I wasn’t the designated driver this time. We pull into the parking lot and my fantasy came crashing down hard. Why they were closed at 10pm on a Saturday night, I will never know, so we tell the cab driver to just take us home. It’s raining out, so of course he is going to take the longest way there, I think he was a few coils short of a working light bulb. Pull up to the house and the cab driver informs us that we now owe $12.00! Damn, I didn’t even hear him tell us to bend over. I’m slightly ticked off at this point, and I’m not sure who I’m more frustrated with, the cab driver, the bowling alley for being closed, or the friend who blew us off. Brush it all off and enjoy a quiet evening at home I guess, at least I will get to sleep in tomorrow morning.
Before this ends, you should know that sleeping in, wasn’t in the cards. My body woke me up around 7:30-8am and then my bladder was screaming to be relieved….tmi for you? So with our kid free night and day, nothing went according to plan, but I did burn calories, whether I was walking, or cleaning, which is what we did all day Sunday.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
And now the continued saga of the fat chick. Being without a car makes it hard to shop for birthday stuff at the last minute. So the night before the party, I called mom in law to set up shopping in the morning. She agreed and then told me that step-father in law was missing his grandson’s birthday party again, for the second year in a row now. Whatever, I didn’t have time to deal with it, I still had to clean the house to get it ready, and work on the cake. But by the time I finished cleaning up the house, I realized it was too late to bake his cake and cupcakes. So I decided that I would throw them in the oven either 1st thing in the morning, or as soon as we all got back from shopping.
The next morning, just as we are getting the kids set up for their breakfast, mom in law calls and says she is on her way. Great…now she shows up early! We still haven’t showered yet, and were still in the process of feeding Camp and Tay breakfast. Since it only takes one person to deal with breakfast, I head up and take a shower before she gets here. Between the showering and getting dressed, I think I set a new world record. Matt wasn’t so lucky in getting showered and dressed before his mom got here. I came downstairs to see her sitting on the couch playing with a toy (couldn’t tell you why). Earlier that week, I put the nursery rhyme up in Campbell’s room and put their names on their doors, so I told Mom in law to go up and take a look at them. Since Matt thought we were missing pieces of the crib, we still didn’t have it put together yet. So when she went upstairs, she noticed this….that wasn’t the only thing she noticed…Matt left the bathroom door open as he showered. Oops. I figured she would just look at the rooms and then come back downstairs with Matt so we could leave and get back in time for the party. At this point, since I thought we were taking off, I decided to wait to bake the cake till we got home, since it takes over 30minutes and the oven wasn’t even preheated yet.
After about 15minutes of waiting, I take the kids upstairs to see what is taking them so long to come back down. I got to Tay’s room to discover them assembling her crib. If I had known they were gonna choose that moment to work on it, I would have turned the oven on to bake the cake. I asked them how much longer they were gonna be, and if I had time to bake the cake, cause I needed to have it done before the party started, so it would be cool enough to frost and decorate. They told me they were almost done at that point, so I put off the cake even longer. Since they said they were about done, I stayed up there with the kids. About 15minutes later, they were still working on that damn thing, but they were at the tail end of it. Finally they finish, and we take off to the store. None of us have bought our gifts for Campbell yet, plus I needed wrapping paper, and other necessities for the party.
Get into WalMart, and it’s a zoo of shoppers, but we are all on a mission. First stop….cards and wrapping paper, since he likes Winnie the Pooh, I grabbed both with a Pooh bear design. Figured it would be ok, since he was having a Blue’s Clue’s cake and Mickey Mouse cupcakes. Moving on, we get to the toys, I try to pick out the quietest toys, but it didn’t matter much compared to what everyone else got him. Trying to stay stress free in Wal-Mart, while on a time limit isn’t easy, add in the frequent calls of sister of law asking to pick her up for the party turns it damn near impossible. We finally finish up and head to the cash register, only to find out mom in law forgot to get a card, so I bolt from one of the store to the other to grab it for her. The second I get back to hand it to her, the cell phone is ringing again…gee wonder who that could be. “Are you picking me up for the party?” It’s the same thing she has asked at least 5 times now. We load up the car and take off, unfortunately its after 1pm now…the party should have begun at this point. We get another call…shockingly it’s not her, its dad in law instead asking where we want the table and chairs. Hmmm if he is done dropping things off at the house, he can pick sister in law up and bring her, and that should reduce my stress. It’s as if she knew I was thinking that, cause she called AGAIN! Only this time we tell her to call her dad and ask him to pick her up.
We get home, and I do a mad dash to the kitchen to get the oven on. Since Taya fell asleep in the car, she went up to her just assembled crib to nap. I begin baking and getting food set up to go outside when I hear Matt call me from the front door. “We have to leave again, can you stop what you are doing to watch Campbell?” Are you kidding me!?!? All morning I’ve been telling him how I needed to get things done in the kitchen. So I asked him if they were just going for ice, why can’t they take Camp along for the ride. They do. I go back to the kitchen and check the temp on the oven. Doesn’t seem to be any warmer, maybe its just a slow warming oven, I don’t think anything of it and move on to the eggs.
-It’s too quiet, so I grab the laptop and throw on some music, might as well get a workout in while I am stressing on time and getting things done. Just as I start rocking out, dad in law shows up, so I once again have to stop what I’m doing again and show him where to put the table and chairs (yea cause walking to the backyard and picking a spot by himself was just too hard). Then I see that they aren’t leaving to get sister in law….why???? Maybe she decided not to come after all…no I’m not that lucky. Well I don’t have time to think about that right now, with them sitting outside, the party has officially begun and no birthday boy. I throw Ritz crackers and some chips on a plate and take it outside so they have something to snack on in the meantime. I decided to ask them about picking up sister in law and they told me that mom in law was picking her up. Wonderful! Something else to take them longer from getting back.
-I head back inside to get more done, I once again check on the oven and its still not warm…what the hell?!?! Screw it, I don’t have time to wait, so I throw the cake in there and hope it bakes in time. While the cake is in the oven, and the eggs are cooking on the stove, I figure it was as good a time as any to get the cupcakes going. So I start pouring cake batter into each of the little paper cup things (such a pain in the ass). As I finish up, Matt and mom in law get home with the birthday boy…and what perfect timing it was, because Taya woke up from her nap then too. So now the party has officially begun, and I’m still working in the kitchen, and if that wasn’t enough stress, I still had to wrap presents…and not just the gifts we bought him, but the ones mom in law got him as well. I make another trip outside with more food, and try to recruit some help. Didn’t happen. I even asked sister in law to come in and grab the highchairs, but apparently I was too far away for her to hear me, a whole whopping 3 feet away. So I head back inside…alone of course, and as the eggs are sitting in cold, blue water, I start to wrap everything. As soon as I’m done with that task, I have to start working on the eggs. How fair to keep the fat chick chained to the kitchen all day, and of course it’s the middle of July, so I’m sweating buckets. Just as I finished them, and think “cool, I can head outside and grab a beer and relax for 2 minutes”…….EHHHHHHHH! Wrong! I take 2 steps towards the door and the timer goes off for the cake…so I rush right over, and fling open the oven door, only to see a cake tin, full of unbaked, completely raw cake batter. I swear I feel a twitch developing at this point.
I have yet to enjoy any part of my son’s birthday party, and it looks as if I will have to wait longer. I go outside and notify everyone that the oven is broken, and that I need to go to the store for an emergency cake run. Couldn’t get sister in law to help bring out the highchairs, but she was first in line to drive me to the store. I forgot, I suddenly can’t drive myself, that must be why she volunteered. (insert eye roll here). I get the keys from mom and law and Matt and I take off for the store. We get there and head on back to the bakery, and there are literally NO options, so we grabbed the only cake big enough to serve everyone that had blue frosting, we even had them add his name to the cake, to personalize it. I was thinking about getting some premade cupcakes too, so I could still pull off the Mickey Mouse cupcakes…none…and I asked about them. None in the whole store. At that moment we both realized that we didn’t get the balloons blown up in time, so we get him a mylar balloon, with you guessed it Winnie the Pooh. Seems kinda fitting for the day, it was turning to crap right before my very eyes.
Anyways, we get back home and I can finally sit down and have some alcohol. We bought Bacardi Raz and Strawberry Daquiris wine coolers in addition to the beer. I was the one who wanted the Raz, so I get to the cooler and there is one left. What else can go wrong. Grab the drink and sit in one of the chairs (4 chairs for about 10 people) only to have to stand back up again to get food. When we all finished eating, we saw that Camp is a mess, so why not make it worse and serve him cake. Remember the blue frosting I mentioned earlier…well, after he dove right in, and ate a few bites, he chose to war paint himself with frosting. It was in his hair, all over his face, hands, chest (he was pulling a studly topless moment), everywhere. Well there was no way he could open presents like that, so since mom in law encouraged him, I told her she can give him a bath. Not only was the blue not coming off of him, but it even turned the water blue, but after much scrubbing, my child came back outside clean (somehow).
Campbell start to open presents, and he gets his quiet toys from us, and then it happened, the next present, noisy. It doesn’t stop there either, gift after gift of noisy toys. Finally we finish with the presents and it looks as though the party is over, but my day is not. All I wanted to do was spend time with my kids outside and relax, but that is when sister in law’s baby decides he is gonna cry and I’m the one stuck soothing him. It wasn’t too bad though, at least while I was doing that, everyone else started to pick up the mess. And they all left it for me in the kitchen, where there was already a large mess. Took me all night to clean up, but at least I was burning calories right. Well that was the birthday fiasco, and as stressful as it was, I know Campbell had a blast. So we are moved in, and the party is over and my life is finally getting back to normal.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Ok, so no one lost their hand, made out with their sister, found out who their father was, or hung out with those adorable Ewoks (I still want one), but it was still just as intense. I don’t even know where to begin, but I guess I could start with “moving day”, yea, it’s in quotes for a reason. Saturday morning started off so beautifully, the sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky, almost a perfect day for moving, too bad no one else saw it that way. Getting people to the house to move things was like trying to teach a toddler calculus…it just wasn’t happening. From one excuse to another, everyone put off helping us, when finally it happened, we got the phone call that said a vehicle was on it’s way. However, there was a catch…it was just the Chevy Blazer and we were on our own. What can I say…when it rains, it pours; and that’s exactly what happened to us.
It was sometime after 4pm before we actually started moving boxes to the new place. First we had to drop the kids off at their great-gramma’s and then we HAD to get something to eat…I could feel myself wasting away (yea right). So anyways, since we only had the Blazer, it was pretty obvious that we weren’t going to be moving any of the big items, ok…whatever…we can load up the boxes. I believe Murphy’s Law says it best, that anything that can go wrong will, and I am living proof of that. The first load was a breeze (literally-the wind could have knocked over a small child), got the boxes moved over to the new place and went back for a second load. As we put box after box into the car, I thought I felt a few drops here and there, but didn’t see anything…so it must be my imagination. Finally the car is full and on to the new house we go. I light up my cigarette (yea I know, bad habit…one life changing activity at a time, and right now it’s weight loss), and roll the window down. I am just about to enjoy that first puff when out of nowhere this torrential downpour starts. It doesn’t let up before we get to the new house either, so as I get out to start unloading, I am instantly soaked to the bone. Just what I needed, to weigh more! Another load taken care of and back to the old place to get more boxes…I kid you not, the very instant I get back into the car, the rain lets up. It was like that the entire time, it was almost as if someone was sitting on a cloud playing with the sprinkler system, just to mess with me.
Day two of moving, and once again we are stuck waiting, the only difference is, this time people are actually helping out. Matt and I tried to make it easy for everyone, by putting the majority of the stuff near the door, especially when most of it came from upstairs…and wouldn’t you know it, it’s still not good enough. Apparently when you help someone it gives you a free pass to gripe, bitch, moan and criticize the entire time. I will definitely have to remember that for next time.
Let me tell you, you never really know 100%, how much someone can be a jerk until they help you, and I use the term loosely. Because I am a bigger girl, than I am sure my step-father in law would like, I was given all the grunt work. “Take that load over and stay there and unpack boxes” or “Stay here and pack all the leftover stuff you have”. I also heard; “Anything you want moved better be moved to the door by the time we get back or it stays” as well as; “Don’t worry about moving things around, to make room, just get those boxes empty”. I’m more than certain you get the idea, and it went on all night long. We finally finished up a little before midnight, and if that wasn’t bad enough, we still had to get the kids’ rooms somewhat organized so they had a place to crash for the night. Chickens with their heads cut off look less chaotic than we did. Running up and down the stairs, to get this and that…I definitely got my workout in that’s for damn sure, and the sweat pouring off of me could have filled a kiddie pool.
We are now officially moved in, and at the time had a week to get the place ready for a birthday party. So back up and down the stairs I go again, carrying box after box after box. Trotting from room to room, grabbing things here and there, and unpacking boxes. Doing all of this, while at the time, taking care of two under two, not easy task…let me tell you. Somehow, through all the chaos and hectic-ness (its my word, just go with it), we manage to get the house ready for Campbell’s birthday party, and if you wanna know how that turned out, I suggest you stay tuned, cause this fat chick’s story is far from over…
Saturday, June 28, 2008
The fat chick is taking a leave of absence, but not before one last tale. I swear I must have lost so much weight yesterday, just jumping through hoops (no not literally). It all started when mom in law finally came through with some money to help us out, but once that happened it was like I was in a game show. "Finish the errands in less than 2 hours and win this place to live!" I can almost hear Chuck Woolery announcing it, yea I'm that old that I know about him. Anyways, she lets me borrow her car, but I have to have it back no later than 3:30 and it was already after 1pm. So I drive her back to work, then have to bolt across town to drop the kids off at my sister in laws (lack of options). At this point 30minutes have already passed, and I still have to drive out to Applebee's to get Matt's paycheck, typical woman right? WRONG...I needed it so I could pay to get the electric turned on (long story). It's about quarter to two and he hasn't even gotten it yet, so I'm waiting, and waiting, and waiting...ever get the feeling life is nothing but hurry up and wait. So he gives it to me, and anyone who knows New York's weather, knows it was 85 and super humid out...I hadn't had breakfast yet and I just wanted one, so I got me a free chocolate milkshake from him...being a cook's wife does have its benefits every now and then. It's after two and I haven't begun to get things done yet, and I still have to go to the bank to cash the check. Traffic sucks as usual, but I didn't think I would have more trouble with it once I got into the parking lot for the bank...WRONG again...I turn right and have the right away when this psycho crazy bitch, cuts me off...what the hell...well I had more choice words than that coming out of my mouth, but I think censorship is needed here and I think you get the idea. She did all this just to get one spot closer in the drive thru at the bank...she still had to wait forever...stupid people piss me off. Moving on, I get the cash and I leave, only to see her waiting at the light and I think to myself, gee was it worth almost crashing just to sit next to me again, and then I turned right on red and she was still sitting there. There is a lesson in there somewhere, but I don't know what it is. On my way now to the electric company, and its already 2:30pm-yup took that long. I pull in and see some guy (not even old) slooooooooowly walking to the building, well I don't have time for that, so I dart around him and thank god I did, there was only one person in there helping everyone. I was happy to be next, but I don't think the people behind me were too thrilled. First I had to pay off an old bill, then I had to turn service on at the new address, but I didn't have a rent reciept and I was not about to go track one down, so the worker had to call the landlord to get permission to turn the service on...messed up right? What seemed to take hours was only 15-20minutes...but the people behind me were getting restless. Out of nowhere I hear "Can we get someone else out here to help us!?" This was right after the worker called for more help, more stupid people. I could feel their eyes burning into the back of my head, as I finished up, I had just as much right to take forever as the next guy. Jump in the car, time to pay the first months rent and get the keys...woohoo. I get there, throw a dime in the meter (gave me 20minutes) and waltz into the reality company thinking I finished everything in record time. Can you hear the game show buzzer yet....EEEEHHHHH WRONG! First there was a couple of guys who didn't speak a lick of English, god I love America! Then as if to make matters worse, the women was 112years old and moved as though she was 200. I spend about 10minutes just trying to hand her the cash, but then she tells me she doesn't know where the keys are...wonderful! Gives me the owners number and tells me to call to set up a time to get the keys, whatever, then she starts to call him, why tell me to call then!??! "He's at the house now and will be here soon to give you the keys...can you wait?" Like I have a choice...this man holds my destiny in his hands, I either wait for the keys or stick my thumb up my ass while I sit in front of a locked house. He shows up, thank god! Oh wonderful, he is older than her! Isn't there a rascal out there somewhere that would get these people to move a lil bit quicker? I grab the keys, say thank you and run to the car, check the meter thinking I went over my 20minutes (seemed like it), how funny, I had two minutes to spare. I had to run over to the house to make sure the keys worked, and that the electric was on, YES to both...just got 2000points. Now to get back to sister in law's place to get the kids...of course she didn't have them ready, couldn't even put their lunch gear back in the bag I sent. Wrangle up the kids and struggle to get them into their carseats, Campbell fights it of course, and we take off back to mom in laws work. I made it, with little time to spare, I had until 3:30pm and got there at 3:25pm...I guess I win the game! *Insert cheezy game show music here*. I forgot to mention one little detail that made the day more challenging. I had on a pair of capris that I bought when I was pregnant with Taylin, and since I didn't know how much bigger I would get, I bought them big...well that's exactly how they fit now. Every three feet I have to stop and hike up my pants, I kid you not. So mom in law drops us all off at home (old home) and I have to quickly get the kids out so she can get back to work, I start walking with Taya, still in her carseat and as I take a step up, I slowly feel my pants start to fall...good thing I had a long shirt on. I take another step and have to stop, one more step and they are gonna be on the ground. Hike them back up, all while still holding her. Get her on the porch and I have to go back and get Camp, same scenario only he can walk, in one hand I'm carrying his booster seat and the other, is him, he decided to be defiant. I can't stop this time, picture if you will the stance a ballarina takes before she does a wide squat dip thing (you get the idea), well that's how I was walking to the porch. I finally get inside with the kids, I kick on the air conditioner and I sit down. What a bad day not to have water chilled in the fridge, I could have really used some. So that was my day of getting ready to move, I can only imagine how hectic moving day will be. I hope you enjoyed this last fat chick blog...when I get back I promise to write a new one. Until then, remember, anything worth getting is worth the work, and everyone on here is worth it. Take care everyone!
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