Monday, April 29, 2013
There is a picture that my daughter took of me. I was in the kitchen, and when I saw the picture...it was the moment that changed everything. For the last year, I'd been wishy washy with weight loss. I'd tried to get back into WW but, quit twice. I tried SparksPeople...then quit. I felt defeated. I felt overwhelmed. I felt that maybe 250lbs wasn't THAT bad, and then I saw that picture.
Call it denial, but I'd removed the full length mirrors in my house. So, just seeing my head..I didn't think that my weight has really gotten that out of control. When I saw the picture, I was shocked, horrified, and MOTIVATED. I refuse to look like this, feel like this at 40.
I rejoined WW. My weight was 243.5. The first week, I lost 6lbs. The second 2.5lbs. This week, I was down 3lbs. My goal is to lose weight EVERY week, no matter how small...I'm determined the scale will go down.
I watched a video where the trainer said to say "I am (first and last name) and I am going to weight (blank amount) by (Monday..it's my weigh in day). You have to actually SAY it while you are working out, whispering is allowed, especially if you are in a busy gym! However, the louder the better...I have found that while I'm walking...this mantra makes me want to walk farther, to move faster. I become empowered, determined. Try it, it works.
I don't want to be 50..then 60...then 70 if Lord willing I live that long...and still battling my weight. I've decided to cut my portions, but eat what I really want. Move in some capacity everyday, most days it's walking..but I just started a beginner's Spin class that is fun. Weight loss isn't rocket science, it's about good choices, and a plan. It's about knowing in yourself that the time is NOW..not tomorrow, not next month...it's NOW. It's about realizing that it's an on-going forever process, not a diet to be abandoned in a month.
Like I said, that moment changed everything...it changed me. It changed how I look at myself, what I want for myself and for those people that love me. It changed my mindset and that is really where weight loss starts.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
I can think of 1000 reasons why I shouldn't get on the treadmill...I can literally put it off for hours, with valid excuses. I can tell myself that I'll do it later, that I'll do it tomorrow..that I'm too tired, to irritated, too busy.
However, once I actually put on my shoes and take that first step..then I'm in it to win it baby!! I get my music pumpin' and my feet moving and suddenly, I wonder why I tried to talk myself out of it.
I will admit, I'm not actually a "happy" exerciser...if you try to talk to me while I'm in the middle of my workout, chances are..I will bite your head off. Because, I hate stopping and then trying to rebuild that momentum/motivation...so my family knows that life or limb best be at risk if they interrupt me! lol
I need to remember that even if I don't feel like it..do it anyway. It's a sparkpeople reminder that I got on my cell phone one day and it really stuck with me. I just also need to remember that the first step is the hardest, but once it's finished and I'm done...I'm glad I did it, I feel a sense of accomplishment and dare I say it..happiness.
Like most things..the hardest part is getting started, but once you get going..nothing can stop you!
Monday, October 15, 2012
Today, I was tracking my blood pressure after my recent health scare..and my 13 year old daughter asked me to take hers as well. The results were rather startling...her number was slightly above the "normal" range. I realized then and there, that there is a trickle down effect.
My daughter is 4" taller than I am..and weighs almost 200lbs. She is so tall that she doesn't look overweight, howevever I realized that I am setting her on an unhealthy path. I have decided to make changes to MY health...but, what I need to do is make changes for my FAMILY'S health.
When there isn't junk food in the house, the kids will eat hummus and pita...apples and pears. They will eat what I serve and I am going to make sure that everything I serve is going to benefit not only me, but my family as well. I don't want to pass my struggles with weight/health on to my children.
So, I have more motivation than ever before. As a mother, I will do things for my children that I won't do for myself...well this time, I'm going to do it for all of us.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
So, I spent the last two days in the hospital with a health scare. In the ER..I was poked and prodded numerous times as they tried to take blood from my chunky arms. Being fat makes it harder to take blood apparently, they have a more difficult time judging on how deep the vein is...which results in multiple sticks and a whole lot of digging around with a needle! OUCH!!
One of the things I learned was...after numerous tests and I'm pretty sure thousands of dollars....my cholesteral is almost 500...FIVE HUNDRED!!
I decided..laying in that bed, miserable...fat...unhealthy..that I am done. I am absolutely and unequivically DONE with being fat. Life is too short to spend it wishing for a better body...wishing for the ability to walk up a flight of stairs without gasping for breath..and a million other things that being overweight causes me to miss out on. I'm tired of being embarrassed, tired, sick....I'm tired of being fat. I've never felt such a feeling of NO MORE, than I did that night.
So, today..I decided to use what I've learned from all those diets...all the books I've read on how to lose weight...what I know about my body, and change my lifestyle. Not to fit in smaller jeans, but to be healthy enough to enjoy my children and eventually (in the future) my grandchildren!
I am not changing anything but portion size. Instead of eating off a dinner plate, I'm eating off a salad plate. I am keeping only healthy snacks in the house. I dusted off my treadmill. I'm going to be AWARE of what I'm eating, because being aware of what is going in your mouth is half the battle right there. I have been down the path of mindless eating, you know where you don't remember eating something 10 minutes after you put it in your mouth.
I did do one thing that I've never done before..I bought a Ninja Professional Blender. My breakfast is now going to consist of Vanilla Soy Milk, Almonds, Flaxseed, kiwi, spinach, frozen berry smoothie. (There are tons of recipes for them, so anyone can find at least one that they love!) This is about improving my HEALTH not just getting skinny.
I am going to let go of my self doubt...I'm going to let go of my negativity...I am going to let go of punishing myself with food. It doesn't have to be complicated, it doesn't have to be miserable...it just requires knowing that things have to change and that you are prepared for them to change. When that moment strikes, I think you just know it...everything is different, it's not about motivation...it's about a feeling. It's a feeling of I AM READY. I hope today, you are ready too. Let's go on this journey together.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
So, I gained 3.5lbs last week....ugh. I knew it was going to happen, I hadn't counted my points. I just want to stop my guilt relationship with my food. I eat it..then I feel guilty about it. I beat myself up over that second helping, or why I didn't choose a salad instead. I am so sick of of regretting everything I put in my mouth. I am want to have a HEALTHY relationship with food.
I don't know what it is..but, if I make something and there are leftovers, I keep going back until it's gone. I have no idea why I do this, I know it's not normal. I know that no one is going to take food from me, so why can't I just eat until I'm satisfied and then stop.
I'm sick of the struggle..but, honestly...if this is my biggest struggle then I should consider myself blessed. I think about what other people go through in their lives and I think if my biggest problem right now is my weight, then I'm lucky, because I can change it...I can...I will.
Get An Email Alert Each Time LOLLYLOOP Posts