In the beginning God created broccoli

Saturday, October 10, 2009

A friend received this from another gal in Weight Watchers and passed it on. No author was mentioned, but if anyone knows, I will be glad to add the credits:

In the Beginning God Created Broccoli...

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Breyer's Ice Cream and Tim Horton's Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that I might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Man's belt went from size 32 to size 40.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food Cake."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

  

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SCIFIREADER 10/10/2009 4:07PM

So can we say "the Devil made me do it"? Great blog Report Inappropriate Comment

Beach Ramblings

Saturday, October 10, 2009

I recently switched my walking route from the neighborhood to the beach. In the beginning it was easier to get myself to walk if I just stepped out the door when the spirit moved me--if I decided to wait and drive to the beach, then I wouldn't get around to it at all. Also, the tourists have now greatly decreased in number and the kids are in school so the beaches are again mine, they are mine, their soft white sand is mine, oops, sorry. I can even find a space in the limited parking areas (usually, if I avoid the peak hours.) I live a mile from the beach but have to drive several more miles to find a public access so I can walk on it. So I asked myself, what is the point of retiring to a beach town, paying way more than I can afford for hurricane insurance, and not going to the beach in well over a year? (Duh, the answer is "none.") I really enjoy watching the sun sparkle on the crashing waves and the sea spray blowing around my feet, and getting to watch the shore life--the gulls, sanderlings, crabs, and the most common beach animal of all the ubiquitous canis familiarus domesticus. Anyway, last week I started going to the beach daily to make sure the Atlantic is still there--it is.

  

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MOM2ACAT 10/10/2009 7:29PM

That sounds wonderful! Report Inappropriate Comment

LIQUEURLADY 10/10/2009 3:27PM

I'm on the other coast, and/but I so get it about having the beach back after Labor Day! YAY! Since I still have to work, being so close is still a big tease, since I haven't the time I'd like to spend there...but it is there. Enjoy -- and October is my favorite month for it! Report Inappropriate Comment

Halloween's approaching...Shriek!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

We had a 10 degree drop in temperature so it finally feels like it's fall. As I enjoyed the break in the heat this AM, it occurred to me the worst holiday of all is coming--Halloween. That is the one holiday where I consistently slip up. Since I am alone, I don't have to buy any goodies for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and I can choose not to attend any parties. I probably burn some extra calories with all the shopping and decorating. However with Halloween, I am expected to buy the evil junk food stuff for other people or be considered the wicked witch (or does that word start with a "b") by the whole neighborhood. As the crazy old maid cat lady in the neighborhood, I must work carefully to avoid that stereotype--besides, I'd feel guilty and selfish if I just skipped. I wait until the last minute to buy the candy, but always end up eating it--there's always those leftovers after the little hobgoblins are through with their rounds. I've been worrying about this all morning and finally came up with a decision--I am going to give out quarters this year--let the little hobgoblins buy their own junk food. This way I don't have any problem dealing with the left overs and I am not the one directly responsible for rotting their teeth--after all they could chose to use the quarter to buy a carrot!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUSANSKI 11/6/2009 3:44PM

You'll be a favorite in the neighborhood. My elderly neighbor gave my family quarters when we were growing up and it was SO special. You brought back a wonderful memory for me! Report Inappropriate Comment

1NICUBABE 9/29/2009 12:22PM

Great idea! I am thankful my kids don't go trick or treating anymore, then I don't have to face the evil candy. Report Inappropriate Comment

SISTERDEAR 9/29/2009 11:55AM

I love your idea! What child wouldn't be thrilled to find money in their bag? Report Inappropriate Comment

STLRZGRRL 9/29/2009 11:36AM

Oh, NO! Reeses' Peanut Butter Pumpkins!!! I am WAY not ready for them yet!!!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

In Memory of My Beloved Mildred

Saturday, September 26, 2009

In November I lost my best friend, Mildred, at age 93, the most delightfully beautiful masterpiece of God's creation ever. She was loving, gracious, intelligent, and a talented wordsmith with both prose and poetry flowing from her pen and tongue. For all the beauty God gives this world, it will never again be quite as beautiful as it was before Mildred left it to stay in the mansion of her first and greatest love. At the funeral her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and many unofficially adopted stray children, such as Yours Truly, did indeed rise up and called her Blessed. I cannot imagine what Jesus whispered to her 12 years ago when she rose and tucked a lost, bedraggled Yankee transplant under her wing when that pitiful creature slipped quietly into Duncan Methodist trying to escape notice while church-shopping in this strange town, with its strange and clannish culture, but I was instantly and truly adopted as hers. In case it isn't yet obvious, I have been missing her lately...a lot. Among Mildred's many works is this song that she wrote for an anthem for her Sunday School class--to the tune of Sweet Hour of Prayer:

Dear Father God, our guiding light,
Who watches over us through the night,
We thank you for your tender care,
It comforts us to know you're there.
We're grateful for this Sabbath Day,
When we can meet to praise and pray.
Your gracious gifts delight us so,
But often we don't let you know.

Your sovereignty will never cease,
You own the keys to life and peace,
You lead us on the righteous way,
And guide our feet so they won't stray.
You sent your son that we might live,
He taught us how to serve and give.
You bring us hope midst fear and pain,
And make us know we'll smile again.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRICIA441 9/26/2009 8:14PM

Sending you loving hugs. What a blessing for you both to have had each other. I am sure she continues to watch over you. Report Inappropriate Comment

MOM2ACAT 9/26/2009 5:36PM

I am sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute you have written, and what a treasure it must be to have known her. Report Inappropriate Comment

SP's Unhealthy Lifestyles Blog.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

The grossly unhealthy entry "Geting Older Really Stinks" in today's misnamed Healthy Lifestyles Blog was what really stinks. I feet obligated to pen my praise of older women :
I am 61 and I wouldn't choose to be young again in this superficial culture of looks and sex if God offered me the whole world to do so. Being older means I grew up in a more graceful and happy time than the quagmire kids today are born into--a time when people had morality and values.This is not the wisest article I've read on SP. The author focuses so purely on the physical. Is anyone under 50 aware that you are so much more than the sum of various body parts? I am taking a Bible study that includes a lot of young women in their 30's and 40's, mixed with us 60's to 80's, and as we discuss issues it becomes apparent how much more the older women are comfortable in their own skin. How lovely are the marriages that were formed when people took lifetime commitment seriously. How much grace, wisdom, courage, serenity, dignity, class, and love spill forth from the women in their 60's, 70's and 80's who have been through it all and survived, grown, and learned. Most important is the comfortable, close relationship they now have with their beloved God after walking with Him through all these trials and learning His love and faithful promises can be trusted. Would I trade any of this beauty in my future just so I can live in a nubile body that other women don't judge and men ogle and call "hot?" I am not that crazy.To anyone foolish enough to think getting older stinks, I assure you there is a lot of growth and wonder ahead for you with a healthy change in your focus and attitude.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STLRZGRRL 9/25/2009 7:11PM

I'm of two minds on this... yours and Ann's... I'm fighting 48 tooth and nail... some days it's a kicking, screaming battle, I'll tell you... But would I trade what I know now for being 22 again (the way I say I still am... ah-HAHAHAhaha... NO one is fooled)... NO WAY. Loved your post...! Comment edited on: 9/25/2009 7:12:41 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

ANNROBERTS54 9/24/2009 11:26AM

I read the article and I took it as somewhat tongue in cheek. I am 55 and many days I feel just like her about it. I embrace my age, wisdom and maturity as much as the next. But I also wish I did not have to live with all the age related baggage such as poor eyesite, waning hearing ability and aches and pains a plenty. Getting older is hard work. And I have an upbeat attitude about it, enough to laugh when others make light of the same situation Report Inappropriate Comment

ZANNYSCOTT 9/24/2009 11:17AM

Great post. Thanks for sharing your wisdom! I totally agree with your insight. (I'm 37.) :) Report Inappropriate Comment