Thursday, February 09, 2012
A funny thing happened this week. With the help of a new burst of resolve I adhered very closely to my program. I ate my planned meals, no deviations. I didn't have any in-between meal snacks. I didn't eat any candy. I didn't drink any soda. I exercised. And, I still had a good day.
-die of starvation from not snacking
-regret eating my packed lunch instead of fast food
-collapse from exhaustion from my workout
-fall asleep at my desk from lack of caffeine
-go into a chocolate deprivation shock
-have a great day
-feel good about myself and my choices
-got everything done and still had plenty of time for me after I worked out
So, now I know that those inner voices that tell me that I NEED chocolate, I NEED caffeine, I NEED a snack, I NEED fast food or I NEED to skip my workout are nonsense. I can have a perfectly happy & fulfilled day without any of those things.
Monday, January 16, 2012
For me, this blog is a personal record of the good things I've encountered during my journey. I want a place to record the things I feel good about. This way I can brag a little without annoying my friends, family and co-workers with every little high point of my weight-loss/becoming healthy journey. I can also come back and "relive the moment" whenever I need a little boost. I haven't written an entry lately because I haven't felt like there was anything good to talk about. I've been pretty stuck for the last month. I made a lot of concessions and excuses over the holidays. And, as a result my progress stalled. I didn't track my food every day, I wasn't exercising anymore, I wasn't preparing as many meals at home and I wasn't making the best choices. It's funny how quickly I can revert to the old habits. It is also interesting that I've had such a mental barrier around the weight of 230. Over the years I've lost weight a couple of times, got to 230, reverted back to my old ways, gained it back & added more weight. During my whole journey 230 loomed over me like a impenetrable fortress. I have been so afraid that I wouldn't make it to 230, or I'd just make it but gain the weight back. I find it very interesting that I made it past the dreaded 230 barrier...then stopped. I started to drift back to my old ways again...almost.
Luckily something is different this time. It isn't vanity (wanting to look better/skinnier) fueling my efforts this time. It isn't an intangible idea of possible health problems fueling my efforts this time. It isn't a willingness to please others (my doctor, my mother, my husband, my similarly weight-challenged friends) fueling my efforts this time. This time I am changing my life because of a real and measurable health risk (Diabetes). And moreover, I have changed my life and improved my health already. I refuse to stop, revert back to my old ways and virtually thumb my nose at the improvements I have made in my health. I'm already back on track and expect to see some forward progress on the scale by the end of the week. I'm tracking my food, I'm preparing most meals at home and I'm bringing back the exercise. I will not let some scary wall I created in my head stop me. If I built the wall I can dismantle it and turn it into a road to victory.
The scale is important, especially because the less I weigh, the more efficiently my body can use my insulin, keeping my blood sugars under control. However, it is not the only way to measure my progress. Although I may not have enjoyed seeing weight lost on the scale for about a month, I have had some small victories during that time. I made it through the Holiday season without gaining weight. I shopped at Eddie Bauer (warehouse store...with a coupon) for the first time in my life. Six months ago I wouldn't have been able to wear anything in the store. Today I don't even wear the largest size they carry. I can wear my wedding ring again. I haven't seen that on my finger since before my (8 year old) daughter was born. My blood sugar is normal and I was able to reduce my diabetes medication by half. I also had the confidence to go to a table of complete strangers at my co-worker's wedding and ask to take their picture. (I had guessed that they were my co-worker's friends from out of state and thought she might want their picture.) I painfully shy, so that was a big accomplishment for me.
I do look forward to being able to measure my progress with a smaller number on the scale soon. However, I am still proud of me for what I have accomplished.
Edited to add: I took my measurements today. And, oddly enough I'm 1/2 inch smaller in my hips, waist and thighs (1/4 inch in my arms). I know that the measuring tape will often move when the scale isn't for various reasons, but this was still unexpected because I had not been exercising like I should. Surprising, but I'll take it.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I had my doctor checkup last week and she is still pleased with my progress. So pleased, in fact, that she said that I could drop my Metformin (diabetes medication) from 1000 mg (2 pills) to 500 mg (1 pill) per day. She also said that if I keep losing the weight I could get off of the medication altogether. YAY me! I'm so happy to not only see the progress in my waistline, but to also see it in my health / bloodwork. I'm now very happy taking my pill every morning knowing I don't have to take another one that night. :-D I'm gery glad and proud of myself for doing what I needed to do to keep myself healthy.
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
I've lost 56 pounds. My 8 year old daughter weighs 56 pounds. It is amazing to see a representation of how much more weight I was carrying on my body. Of course, the volume is not necessarily exactly the same, but it is close enough to give me a pretty good picture. I also know when I'm giving her a piggy back ride, that her extra weight is what I used to be carrying around every day. No wonder I was tired and had knee aches! I'm glad I look much better and feel much better without the weight of an extra person clinging to my stomach, butt and thighs.
Thursday, December 01, 2011
Holiday parties / events make staying on track difficult, but not impossible.
I've slowly been training myself to not feel like I have to eat everything I want all at once. I've been doing a fairly good job of policing myself when I'm craving something. If I can fit it into that day's program, I indulge, track it and work it in. If it's late or I can't work it into that day I just tell myself that I'll work it in the next day. Then, the next day, if I still want it, I work that little indulgence into the day. More often than not, I'm over it by the next day anyways.
Holidays & holiday parties make the bargining with myself a lot more difficult. I'm sometimes faced with an overwhelming number of choices and I'm in situations where I can't postpone my cravings until the next day. I stumbled a bit over Thanksgiving. But, importantly, I'm back on track and I recognize what will be my stumbling block over the next few weeks. I'm going to try my best to make good choices for myself. I just have to remember that I'm doing this for my health & that is what is most important!
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