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Day One hundred-ten - Not Shoulding Tonight - 4/21/10

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

It's only 8:20, am I'm going to jot down this blog and I'm hitting the hay. I think it's going to storm here tonight, which might explain why I ache today and why I'm so tired. I woke up with the alarm this morning, and with time to get in 10 minutes or so of fitness, but I was so tired, I just laid there....with the alarm going off.....for 25 minutes. That's ridiculus! I can only believe that it means I need some more rest. I still need to record the snack I'm eating right now and then off to sleep. Sorry all, will have to catch up with you later. Need to run tomorrow.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DJS-DEBBIE 4/23/2010 5:48AM

    I hope you are feeling rested by now!

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PAM1864 4/22/2010 2:46AM

    Have a good sleep dear. I read your Tuesday blog now, you are doing great. Did you change your goal. I know you are preparing yourself for the May run. emoticon
My Thursday already started and today evening I will be traveling. I am so excited. I will get in touch when I settle down. Take care. Take rest emoticon


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MIMIKK7 4/21/2010 10:33PM

    Sweet dreams emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ANGELFMABV 4/21/2010 9:45PM

    Rest well my friend! emoticon

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Day One hundred-nine - Perseverance Has Its Rewards (Goal Adjustments) - 4/20/10

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Today is my day off, so I didn't have to hit the floor running as usual this morning. Nice change. I still have a lot that I want to accomplish today, but I'm going at it steadily and will do as much as I can. I like this idea of blogging early in the day though...Yesterday I got to the end of the day and between being worn out and disappointed and wanting to "eat the world", I decided that sleep was more important, and I think I was right because today I feel better.

First of all, I'm getting really close to the weight loss goal that was set for me back on Jan 2nd, when I first signed on to Spark. Less than 5 lbs. to go, but I would prefer to adjust that goal. Does anyone know how to go about that? I have it at 146lbs right now, but I'd like to be around 140 (or even 139 just so I can say I'm under 140). I have no idea how to go about adjusting this, so any suggestions would be appreciated. I also want to get the body fat % down from 31% to 27% or less, so I've really got to ramp up the strength training.

Second, I had that HR meeting and it did not go as hoped, but did turn out as expected. We'll see what happens to the schedule now. I have been working 40 hours a week for sometime now, but apparently to be full-time with HD you have to agree to be available 24/7 for scheduling purposes. That may work for some people, but I need to have some dedicated time in my week that I know is for "me" or my other obligations outside of work. So, I will remain on PT status.
Oh well, I'll just have to keep watching my budget closely, stay healthy, and keep an eye open for something else.

Third, I lost another 1/2 lb!!! WOOHOO!!! Got to celebrate THAT! April 1st my weight was 151.5, so this past 20 days, I have lost only 2.5lbs. That's still okay, but not what I had become accustomed to. I need to stay focused on all the other things that are happening that are reasons to celebrate, and on preparing for the 5K coming up. I'm getting nervous already and it's still over 2 1/2 weeks away. Today I'm going back to the same park I ran at Sunday (with the HILLS) and I'm going to do the full 5K just to see what kind of time I log. That will give me a good benchmark to start improving on. Hopefully I can start working toward gettin down to a 30 mins. 5K and then maybe a 10K for the fall....we'll see. Another Spark friend is considering doing a situp challenge and I could really up my core strength and strength training, so I think that is where I will concentrate my efforts on the physical side.

On the more personal side, I am still working on the getting up with the alarm thing and getting more sleep - they kind of go hand in hand. I know this will benefit my life in so many ways, but my sis doesn't usually get to bed very early since she sleeps till 9AM or later everyday. That makes it hard for me to get to bed early, especially when I always seem to find things that need to be done (ie, reading, sparking, dishes, garbage, laundry etc etc etc). That's why I am liking this blogging earlier...it is one more of those things that won't try to keep me from the bed when I get home from my group tonight.

So, those are the plans and goals for this next phase of my journey. I'm so grateful that I have all of you to travel it with. You are such wonderful, special, supportive friends....even when I reach my weight goal, I will be continuing to Spark. It has become about so much more than just the weight. The pounds were just camoflaging the real issues....now I can see that it is about liking me and caring enough about me to give me my very best. It's about being the very BEST ME POSSIBLE - and I think I have more room to grow there....so you are all stuck with me. Enough rambling...I'm getting misty eyed and stuff. Time to get moving and spark spark spark!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BE_STRONG 4/21/2010 4:33PM

    Wow, your blog was so reflective. I can tell you've been thinking about a lot of these issues. Finding time for yourself will help in your journey. I hope your job issues get resolved in a way that helps you out.

I can't believe that your 5K is that close. You have got to be so excited. You will do an awesome job!

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MERRYLYN 4/21/2010 3:03PM

    You GO girl!
You have done a fantastic job and almost to your goal weight.
It is great that you have redefined your goals or set up new ones. That will help you maintain once you have reached whichever weight goal you feel is the right fit for you.
Learning to love and appreciate yourself is as great an accomplishment as the weight loss. You are great, you are worth it.
Sorry the job thing didn't work out as you wished, but maybe there will be a door of opportunity opening to you soon for something better.
Even if you don't come in first in that run.. you will be a winner because you have completed it. You can do it. emoticon

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TEXASG-MA 4/20/2010 7:59PM

  Friend, I'm proud of you. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
You are such an inspiration to me. Love you dear friend.

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ANGELFMABV 4/20/2010 3:30PM

    You are doing great with meeting your goals and accomplishing the things you wanted for yourself. Keep up the great work! emoticon

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LDSMALL 4/20/2010 2:12PM

    You are amazing!!! I am so excited for your first 5K! You are going to do awesome, but more important, I hope that you take the time that day to enjoy this accomplishment!!! I will always remember my first race and that runner's high!!!

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MIMIKK7 4/20/2010 2:00PM

    You are doing such an emoticonjob!! emoticonon the losing another half pound and needing to adjust your goals!! Way cool!! Keep rockin it girl cause you are emoticon
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    Great job on another half pound!!! WAY 2 GO!!! You're doing so great!

And if you can fit in the blogging in the morn, you're right, it might help you stress less at the end of the night!

2 1/2 weeks!!! so excited for you!!! You'll do GREAT!

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SONNYG1 4/20/2010 1:04PM

    Yes, go to My Tools, look for my goals on left hand side, select change goals link. Sounds like you're doing great. emoticon

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    So- I've only read your first part so far. To change your goal weight, you go to the start page. Scroll down, on the left there is a place that says my goals. There's a change link by your weight. Now I need to finish reading your blog :)

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Day One hundred-seven - Perfecting the Balancing Act 4/18/10

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Aaahh, it's Sunday. I DO LOVE Sundays! And today is a sunny Sunday to boot, even better. I am really taking a good look at necessities and priorities these days. Getting a grip on what is important and what is not, and who it is important to.

My life is pretty full. I work full-time and help out at church, where I am pretty active. In addition, I live with my sister who is partially disabled, sometimes more than others. She has gotten to this phase where sometimes she is able (if she wants to do something) and other times, she doesn't want to and then her inabilities kick it up a notch. The most recent is the lawn...we have a riding mower, but after enough phone calls to enough doctors she finally got one to say that she can't ride the mower....add another task to my never ending list. I don't have a problem with doing the lawn per se, it's just htat I work and have other obligations, so it will have to be squeszzed in when ***I***have time. Apparently this is not good enough, so she called another sister in from out of town. In some way, whe is trying to make me feel guilty for not jumping right on this newest chore, however, it is a blessing to me. I finally have sometime to do some sparking and this afternoon, while they are busy, I'm FINALLY meeting a friend at the community center path to do some running.

I believe the sisters are grilling 1/2 lb burgers for dinner, so if I make it home in time, I'll have a 1/2 of a 1/2 lb burger with them. This will undoubtably not go over well because after I got home from church, she told me what we were having so I "could plan". They fail to realize that NO amount of planning is going to make eating an entire 1/2 lb burger worth it.

I am starting to realize that much of what I do is in an attempt to make other people happy, which rarely works, and if it does, it isn't for very long. In the process I let what is good for me suffer. This HAS to change. So, I am working on that today.

Tomorrow, I have a meeting with HR at work. They are asking me to go to full-time status (I am already working the 40 hrs a week), but my availability is not completely open, nor will it be, and that is generally a pre-requisite for full-time. We'll see what they have to say. Full time would be nice and I could certainly use the $ and the benefits, but at this point in my life, I am no longer living to work. Work is a very important thing, but it is NOT the only thing.

So, now I have my blogging done and am mostly caught up with sparking and e-mails and even have some of my reading done for my TWO women's groups this week....I can do the rest tonight while the sis's are vegging in front of the tube.

It feels good to take care of me for a change. Hope that feeling holds when the backlash begins.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WINNINGSPARK 4/20/2010 1:03AM

    Wow! How wonderful you are putting yourself first and seeing how you didn't for so long. And isn't it just grand that the lawn got mowed in the process???? Way to go. You have earned all the time you need for yourself and then some. So, keep it up. I hope you told HR that you'd be willing only if they offered double the money and triple the benefits!
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MERRYLYN 4/19/2010 9:11PM

    You really have a plate full to deal with but it sounds as though you are making some sensible choices in finding the perfect balance. You are right in thinking you can't live your life just to please others and also right in making some 'me' time. It keeps one sane. Sounds like you are doing a great job with your running.. and having some fun with a new running partner. emoticon
Glad you are getting some help with the responsibilities. No need for you to do everything.
Keep up the good work and here's to a perfect balance.

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ANGELFMABV 4/19/2010 6:44PM

    Good for you getting time for yourself. When or if you have a discussion with your sister, thank her for asking for additional assistance from other members of the family as your chore list is over filled.

You are doing a great job! Keep up the good work.

p.s. good luck with HR and I hope whatever it is you are looking for in your employment they offer you. emoticon

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DJS-DEBBIE 4/19/2010 5:00AM

    You have got to make you a priority! It is hard (I am still struggling with it myself) but it is worth it in the end.

Glad you had such a nice day!

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NELLIEC 4/18/2010 11:00PM

    It does seem that disabled people (including me) are more motivated to do the things we like. But it does take determination to do those things which aren't so attractive.

But you personally do have to care for yourself because that way you will be more healthy than otherwise. My oldest daughter said she is glad I have gotten more healthy with SparkPeople since I have built up my ability to do things.

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MIMIKK7 4/18/2010 10:02PM

    I am so impressed with your self-determination in prioritizing your life! emoticonYour day sounded so successful and I am so glad you found a running buddy!! emoticonYou are an inspiration to your new running buddy and to your emoticon!!! Isn't that emoticon!!! Have a fabulous week! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOGOULD 4/18/2010 9:18PM

    Oh, yeah, today I had some really good and happy "me" time!!! Little sis came over and got the yard mowed on the rider and her dog played with our dogs and I got to catch up on stuff AND GO FOR A RUN WITH A FRIEND!!! WOOHOO!!! It was at a lovely park with through lightly wooded/landscape w/ a couple of bridges and a couple of hills and flowers and did I mention HILLS, all around a lovely little lake and did I mention HILLS? She is in her late 30's and a tiny little thing...but she stayed with me even though I was just a tad slower especially after the HILL. She could talk comfortably the whole time, so I let her, and we ran and ran and ran. In, fact halfway through she asked how I was doing to which I replied "K, I'll make it" and she said that is where she usually walks her way back, that I was HELPING HER! WOW! Me helping here!!! Can you believe it! So we finished the 2.5 miles right at 30 mins. So, even with the HILLS, we did 12 min. miles.

Came home and had my 1/2 of a 1/2lb burger and salad and fruit salad for dinner and nothing snotty was said. Then both sisters who finishsed theirs promptly napped for a half hour while I ran out (drove) to the store for more equal and oatmeal.

Going back to the park Tuesday. Long runs two days in a row now and my body needs a break....think I feel like some weight training and intervals tomorrow....FINALLY!!!!

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LDSMALL 4/18/2010 8:27PM

    I am so impressed with how you are able to really look at things and see what areas of life you strive to work on. With all that is going on, you are amazing. You stick to your plans, you find time to run and your first 5K is less than a month away! You truly are the perfect example of a Spark inspiration!! Keep up the great work and be sure to find that YOU time!!

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    IT IS hard to only think of you, but sometimes you really have to do just that. And trying to make EVERYONE happy, won't ever work. Just do the best you can...and let them figure out how to get happy!!! You be happy for you! You deserve you time!!!

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Day One hundred-five - My Trouble - 4/16/10

Friday, April 16, 2010

My biggest issue isn't eating healthy, I can do that. Even with people all around me who may not be deliberately trying to sabotage my efforts, but who definately don't choose to eat healthy nor understand my desire to. I still manage to watch what I eat and stay within my limits. I've done that every day (except Easter Sunday) since the beginning of the year.

My biggest issue is that my schedule is ALWAYS on overload and if even one more thing gets added, I fall behind, and when I fall behind something suffers. Most recently two things, sleep and fitness. I would love to be able to do some fitness in the morning when I get up, but since I go to work at 7AM most mornings, I don't know how I'm going to make that happen. I'm still trying to get up with the alarm in the morning and only doing that about 50% of the time. So, I'm taking a step back. I've got to get that sleep and getting up thing conquered. It won't be easy since it will mean being asleep at 9PM....but if I'm going to get to the next step and not start falling back, I think that is the next logical step.

Oh boy, wish me luck, for now I'm heading downstairs to get in some strenth training and some intervals on the treadmill.

Any suggestions or advice are GREATLY appreciated. I don't know what I'd do without you Spark Friends. I know I wouldn't have made it this far. Much thanks to you all!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGELFMABV 4/17/2010 11:03AM

    So sorry I wish I had some ideas for you. My thoughts are if there is any way to lessen your load without jeopardizing your "Me" time that would be the way to go. You are the only one that can figure what is more important and when you figure that out, you can work on that issue. REMEMBER YOU ARE #1 AND YOU COME FIRST! Once you have that everything else will fall into place. Have a great day and keep up the great work. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BE_STRONG 4/17/2010 10:55AM

    I'm trying to work out my schedule too. I'm not much help to you. I can just offer you encouragement. I know you will be able to come up with some kind of schedule that will work for you. Maybe that means getting in a little extra on days you have time and then when you don't have time, just get in 10-15 min. Then don't beat yourself up about it. This has to be something we can continue to do forever, so it has to be part of our daily life.

I can't wait to read how everyone else fits it in.

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CKAYT56 4/17/2010 12:12AM

    I, too, am sorry that you are struggling with trying to fit everything into your schedule. Time and scheduling can really be a nightmare. I am at a point in my life where I have time for "ME" now, I put myself first, and have made my life healthier.

I would suggest that SLEEP should be your NUMBER ONE priority. Then start to find places in your schedule for exercise, maybe not all in one block of time and maybe more on some days and less on other days. Start brainstorming where you might find 10 minutes here or there to do some form of movement (break at work, lunch break, get up 10 minutes earlier, while watching TV, during commercials, while waiting in line, etc.)

Your problem, I think, is a problem that most of us have or have had. Keep working on it for a solution!

Char in Minnesota

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MERRYLYN 4/16/2010 10:48PM

    I am sorry you are struggling. I wish I could manufacture a few hours to your day, but it probably would only get filled with other trivia and you still wouldn't have time for yourself.
I have felt overwhelmed this week and didn't do so well with the exercise either. You are doing well to keep on track with your food. That is one positive goal. Getting enough sleep is a necessary goal. Sorry your exercise buddies are not reliable. Guess you just have to rely on yourself. Then you can go when you feel like it and for as long as you like.
Good luck. Hope things work out for you.

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DJS-DEBBIE 4/16/2010 8:52PM

    I wish I could help but I am struggling with the same problem myself!

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    Do you have anytime at work to take a walk..maybe during your lunch hour?
Good luck...sleep is very important.

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WINNINGSPARK 4/16/2010 8:06PM

    Well, your 50% is still beating me by about 49% so don't look to me for advice! I have no idea what to do to get enough sleep and have enough time. My only real answer to it is prayer. When I pray and ask for help with it I usually get it - I don't always accept the help I get but I do get it. Speaking of, about 3 years ago I asked for help with this same thing....getting up on time with the alarm. I was given an unplanned puppy. So, we must be careful what we pray for as the form doesn't always match our own idea of what works. I got up early without fail for close to a year because of that little @#$%. Now he's older and can sleep in later.
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NELLIEC 4/16/2010 1:03PM

    Even though I used to be a "late bird" rather than an early bird, I now am an early bird and go to bed early also! The body feels so much better!

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MIMIKK7 4/16/2010 11:38AM

    You are doing an emoticonjob with everything! I agree you are a very busy, dedicated woman that packs more things into your schedule then most pack into several days! With that said, focus on getting adequate, restful sleep and then the rest should fall into place for you. emoticonon winning the battle on eating healthy when I know it feels like people around you are sabotaging your efforts. emoticonYou are an amazing, strong woman and you will work this out! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOSINWEIGHTJEN 4/16/2010 11:27AM

    Good luck!!! And have fun with your strength exercises!!!

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UMUCGRAD 4/16/2010 11:27AM

    Good for you for reaching out! For me, I have to take one thing at a time and focus on one goal at a time. You're doing great with the eating healthy part, and it sounds as if you're on track with your next goal, which is to incorporate enough sleep into your 24 hours. That sleep is soooo important to overall health, stress management and weight loss. They're all connected. Hang in there, you're doing great. You'll figure out how to get the exercise in.

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Day One Hundred Four Disappointed Again - 4/15/10

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I'm halfway through the month and feeling a bit disappointed. Since the first I have only lost 1.5 lbs. I know that I shouldn't beat myself up because I'm still losing, and Easter didn't help matters. Without that total blow out day, I would probably be down another 1 to 1.5 lbs.

To be perfectly honest I know that the issue is that I haven't gotten back to the level of fitness that I was at before the Easter week. I am doing well to do 15-20 minutes a couple of times a week unless I'm running and this week, so far, I have only one run in. Tonight was to have been my run with the two "new" running buddies and one ran into a glass door and is badly bruised so her doctor said no running for a few days and the other one I have not been able to reach all week. I shouldn't let other peoples actions affect me like this, but they bummed me out so bad, I just blew off fitness altogether today, no run, no ST, nothing. That kind of attitude isn't going to help at all.

Trying to see the "up" side, I finally am pretty much caught up with all the e-mails and sparking and laundry and kitchen cleaning and yard pick up that I had fallen behind in, so maybe after a good nights sleep I'll feel ready to tackle a good hard fitness session to get the scale kick started.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIMIKK7 4/16/2010 11:29AM

    You can do this! You have made FABULOUS progress and your profile picture looks emoticonThat is unfortunate that your running buddies fell through again. Today is a new day! It is your day to get your groove back and make it your own! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LKEITHO 4/16/2010 9:25AM

    Hang in there! It is disappointing when others let you down and spoil your exercise plans, but I hope you will be able to get back at it now that a lot of your other responsibilities have been taken care of. All the best!

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ANGELFMABV 4/16/2010 6:35AM

    Ahhh don't let others and the numbers get you down. You have been doing this pretty much on your own (besides your virtual support and home support) and not depending on having others to run with. emoticon Put the saddle on and make the best of a great day! emoticon

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DJS-DEBBIE 4/16/2010 4:07AM

    Yes you are still losing and today is another day! Get some movement in.

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SLIMLILA 4/15/2010 11:34PM

    I know how discouraging it is not to see successful result son the scale. I hit 19 some time in Feb. and still I am only at 197.5 the last time I checked in. And I am doing everything right.... my sister was telling me she ate 6 Cadbury Easter Creme Eggs and I told her I had only had a couple bites,.

I have to remember my other goal was to improve my blood sugars and that I have done for sure! And I have to be making my body healthier because of the lifestyle changes I have made, walking 2 miles every day at least and eating healthy and making sure I drink all my water. So, it's gotta show up somewhere. I've been in the city staying at dd's for almost 2 weeks now but I'm still tracking on SP.

So hang in there, you're not the only one discouraged, all we can do is keep doing the right things and accept all the support you get around here at SP. emoticon

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SUSANHEALTHIER 4/15/2010 11:21PM

    I haven't been doing as well either. Hard to get back into it since getting home from vacation. Just got back late tonight from touring a University with daughter in Jacksonville, FL. I'm tired but will go to Jazzercise class in morning. I earn points for every class I go to in order to earn a free t-shirt...PLUS I get sparkpoints!!
Don't be hard on yourself and don't depend on your running buddies. Ha...all my neighbors haven't been going with me to jazzercise class in weeks. Remember, only you can take care of yourself.It's funny..I love you and don't even "know" you!!! I can imagine your family and friends love you...you are such a dear person and people NEED you! Don't give up...take a deep breath and start again!! emoticon
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LOSINWEIGHTJEN 4/15/2010 11:20PM

    Tomorrow is a new day! You've been doing SO great! You'll get it back!

Just plan on going out yourself. That's the one thing I don't like about going with someone...if she cancels, I have a hard time wanting to go out. Now if I know the weather MIGHT be bad in the morning, I cancel on her at night (so I can get on the treadmill in the morning)before she cancels on me in the morning when I'm already in my outdoor exercise clothes! But that took me changing. In the beginning I didn't go out when she canceled!

Anyway- you're doing great. Don't be down on yourself! Tackle your day tomorrow!!!

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SPARKIE1964 4/15/2010 11:07PM

    Think of where you were a year ago this time & how much progress you've made. Tomorrow is a new day. You CAN do it!

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