Sunday, June 22, 2014
Yesterday Mikhail (he'll be 13 in less than a month!!!) said to me, 'Mom, you're a Hipster.' 'Really? Why is that?', I asked. He said, 'Well, look at you. You are wearing red shorts, a gray top, blue necklace & pink ponytail holder. You don't care what society says you should do.' 'Also,' He said, 'You dance & sing to your own music.' 'You don't follow the rules.'
HAHAHA!!! I don't follow the rules??? Where did he get that??? I dance to & sing my own music. *I am so beautiful to me* *Nobody knows the trouble I'm gonna be* *Celebrate good food* *Lisa got a big ol' butt*(that one actually is a song somebody else sang!)
I think we are always the same age inside. As a kid I was told I acted like an adult. As an adult I have been told I act like kid. The only real difference between now & then is that now I am okay with who I am. (for the most part)
Should we do what society says? Yes, to a degree. I am PC. I don't use outdated terms for people when I know better. I don't go out of my way to hurt others. I would never be mean just for the sake of being mean. BUT...
If I want to dance, I dance. If I want to sing, I sing. I am not going to 'sit down & shut up'! If I see something I don't like, I say so. I don't just ignore somebody getting hurt. I'll turn the other cheek IF nobody is being abused.
Sing in the rain! Dance like nobody is watching! Do what makes you happy!
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Yesterday, I started my blog with a small lie. (Small lies don't REALLY count anyway, do they? Psh!) I said I'd been keeping my opinions to myself the last few weeks. I SHOULD have said (in my blogs!) I had been. A woman in a thread got my opinion rather harshly late last week.
The post started something like this: I see ads for food & it must be like an alcoholic seeing their favorite bottle of booze. Okay, I'm down with that. Then she went on to say that withdrawal from food is like a dry drunk..... The worst part was she gave me this: I PROBABLY would have just let it go to ignorance had it not been for that. That was a direct hit as far as I was concerned.
Okay, NOW I need to say something. That's like comparing apples to oranges. Do not tell me an apple tastes like an orange ESPECIALLY if YOU have never tasted an orange!!! Oranges & apples are both fruit, have a peel & seeds, but they do NOT taste the same. EVER.
I explained to her that WE alcoholics learn to look away.... That every convenience store in America is an 'advertisement' for alcohol. She said it was easy to avoid convenience stores.
This was my response to her:
"As far as avoiding a convenience store being easy. I would think it's not as easy as avoiding a SECTION of a website on the internet. Furthermore I was using that as an example of the REAL WORLD. I get bombarded with alcohol at convenience stores, gas stations, grocery stores, Walmart, Target, K-mart, Shop-ko, and even PHARMACIES!!!!
My point was that at some point we really do need to use will power.
As far as the overeating being equal to a dry drunk I'll just say that if you ever have the DT's or have to lay in a hospital bed sedated for 3 days to keep from DYING from the DT's while withdrawing from a Twinkie I'll give you that.
If you get bombarded by unpleasant things on the computer you can go into your kitchen to find HEALTHY food. I get bombarded by alcohol every time I leave my house, but there isn't so much as a beer in my kitchen.
Just clearing a couple of things up....."
I stand by ALL of this. I am not saying that overeating isn't a compulsion. I'm not saying it isn't dangerous or unhealthy, but it is NOT like a dry drunk. First of all a 'dry drunk' is when a person doesn't drink, but continues to exhibit all the traits of an active alcoholic...short of drinking.
I'd like people to understand what they THINK they know.
I don't know if overeating is an addiction. I've read studies that say the same part of the brain is triggered when an over eater is exposed to certain foods just like an alcoholic's brain is triggered by alcohol.
I know that nobody ever died while withdrawing from candy. People die from DT's (Delirium tremens) every single day! You may wish you would die, but the withdrawal (in & of itself) from drugs like heroin & cocaine will not kill a person. Alcohol withdrawal can be & is often deadly!
When I went to treatment for alcoholism I was sedated for 3 days to keep me from going into DT's. I've had DT's at other times in my alcoholic life & they hurt! They hurt SO bad! I have bought a drunk a drink to help him avoid the DT's...or at least put them off.
I've had my issues with food. I don't know if I would have ever been considered a compulsive eater. I've been on both extremes of food intake. Overeating & starving both, but I don't think I truly understand compulsive eating. I DO understand alcoholism tho & I'm telling you it is NOT the same.
I KNOW that compulsive eating is dangerous. I understand that it could be considered an addiction. I do not think that alcoholism is worse....I think it's just different.
Whether you like it or not there DOES come a point in our lives that WILLPOWER comes into play! I've been sober for almost 8.5 years. When I was drinking I'm not sure that I had a choice. NOW, I absolutely do! I do not stay sober 'one day at a time'. There were points (especially in the first days) that I stayed sober one second at a time. Now, most days...sometimes weeks or months go by without me thinking of drinking, BUT because I am exposed to alcohol almost every time I leave my house I make a conscious decision to STAY sober!
The only way you will ever truly be free of over eating will come through willpower. You have it in you! I believe that!
Friday, June 20, 2014
You all may be surprised because I've been keeping my opinion to myself the last few weeks! It's been hard....oh, so hard.
You know my mom had MS. She was diagnosed in her mid forties & was in a full care facility by the time she was my age. Yes! Before she was 50 she was in a wheel chair & NURSING HOME. Her body was completely atrophied. MS is mean. By the time she died at 61 she only had VERY limited use of her right arm. She could hold a sippy cup & sometimes a fork to feed herself.
My sisters & I traveled back to Billings when she was diagnosed. I thought that MS was a death sentence. Ironically, it was actually worse. Yes, worse. My mom was sentenced to almost 15 years alone with her thoughts, regrets, unknown ambitions & hopes.
The Dr had given my older sister some exercises for my mom to do to keep her body from deteriorating any faster, but my mom refused to do them. IF she did do them she complained the whole time and as soon as my sister went home mom abandoned her exercise routine completely. She continued drinking, not exercising & eating horribly! (if at all...my mom was also anorexic.)
By the time I saw her again she looked completely different. I didn't recognize my own mom when they wheeled her out to the visitor's area. My niece called her Grandma & hugged her. I was shocked. She had gained probably 25 pounds. Her hair was waist long & it's natural color. Other than being in a wheelchair I hadn't seen her that healthy in years! MS indirectly saved her life. Or at least prolonged it.
I got so angry at her because almost immediately she told me she wanted to 'go somewhere'. WHAT??? She spent the better part of 20 years on a bar stool & NOW she wanted to go somewhere???? My dad took us to Disneyland & mom sat on a bench the entire time complaining that she was bored! She was in her early 30's at the time.
Why am I telling you this? Because I don't want to let myself atrophy. Am I going to sit on the couch until my legs wither up & die?
Are you going to start getting fingers & toes removed before you get your diabetes under control? Maybe you'll need to lose a leg to the knee?
My mom's life was too short. I don't know what lessons she learned, but I know the ones I have. They aren't going to be wasted!
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