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Everyday day I'm strug-ug-ug-alin'!! (Put yo hands up!)

Thursday, March 29, 2012

I'm barely hanging in there.

I mean barely.

This week has been a huge struggle with me. I have had huge family drama. I got into a stupid argument with my sisters and nieces. It was stupid, I didn't cause it, and I am not going to apologize for something I didn't cause. Then I found out that my boyfriend who is the breadwinner, by a landslide in my house, is going to lose his job within a year. The factory he works for is closing and moving to Alabama. He has heard rumors that they are going to offer him double his salary now to move and work at the new factory. I say no. I have lived here all my life, my entire family is here, my friends are here, and all my children's friends are here. We know nothing and no one in Alabama and I refuse to move. The company is also rumored to give him a nice severance package, but he is only thinking about the money he would be making if he takes the AL job, and not how such a move would affect us all. It's been stressful, and caused 2 arguments so far, and I am really not looking forward to the next few months.

Plus, it's TOM.

I have started reading Joyce Meyer's "The Battlefield of The Mind" and I am really trying to rid myself of negative thoughts. I am also trying very hard to study the Bible everyday and make God a part of my daily life, through bible study, and prayer.

I also am job hunting for a teaching job. It takes a great deal of time to search, fill out applications, contact superintendents and Principals, put together and distribute your portfolio....It's endless.

It's soccer season, and I have been gone 3 nights this week in addition to working during the day, which means my house looks like a tornado went through it. :
I also am wanting to start writing again. Not just in my little blog here, but to write down the stories I have bouncing around in my head.

On top of that, I am a mother to 4 kids.

I am feeling overwhelmed and don't know how to deal with all this stress....and workout too!

My food intake has been horrible. I have been eating out more since I am not at home as much and I haven't always make the best choices.

My goal for the next week is to make better choices, workout more, stay on plan, and be here every single day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MI-ELLKAYBEE 3/29/2012 5:07PM

    OMG you are SO SO SO blessed to have a "breadwinner" who CAN earn double his salary! My husband's job disappeared 8 years ago - I am the sole support of my household and my mother's - my husband is way to old to be hired by anyone now. He looked daily for 5 years and never got a nibble - due to age!!!! Relocating is difficult - but having NO money and NO remaining credit and no hope and no help is worse. It does sound like you have emergency support (family) where you are - so that leaves options open to you. I have no one on this planet that would or could help me financially. No one. No family. No friends who are not struggling too. No one. Please think very hard before you decide to pass up a pure golden opportunity to have enough money. If you have that, you are free to travel. You are free to visit. You are FREE!!!! If you have nothing, it is SO hard to cling to hope and faith. SO very hard. Thank God every single day for options. Take the options - try it. You can always go back. But if you pass up the opportunity, it may not knock again. Believe me, even though it is a year away, I would already be packing. I gained weight when I lived for MONTHS at a time on nothing but Ramen noodles - my one treat a week was one dollar burger at McDonald's. I worked overtime every day for the money, commuted 2 hours, could never sleep due to stress and gained weight while totally UNDEREATING for years. Now I work for a company that is desperately struggling to survive, it hasn't paid me since October 28th, we are losing the office because they haven't paid the rent and I have nowhere to turn. Living on cash advances - almost at the end of all the credit lines. PLEASE think long and hard before you let your man pass up an opportunity that will give you more than you have now plus some real financial security. I will pray for you, too.

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NELLIEC 3/29/2012 4:30PM

    Yes, there are those times when we struggle. The key is to give the situation to God and find out what HE wants us to do.

For years there was a situation in which I struggled. Finally, the breaking point came and I just followed what God led me to do, which sometimes was pretty scary. I ended up without a husband, but with my 6 children and our pets, over 3000 miles away from what was familiar and known. But HE guided me every step, and I certainly don't regret it.

What is somewhat amusing is that now my ex and I get along reasonably well -- 3000 miles apart.

Comment edited on: 3/29/2012 4:31:08 PM

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SUE5007 3/29/2012 3:56PM

    Cute title. ;)

I would just try to keep the diet in check since soccer games make life so busy! Make a goal to always plan ahead to have grab-n-go foods like clementines, apples, peanut butter crackers and water bottles on hand if you have to literally run out of the house. You could even make a giant salad, and grill up some chicken and keep them in the fridge. When it's time for a game fill a tupperware container with some of the salad, throw some chicken on top, snap on a lid and go!

Get in a walk during the game if you can, but you'll have more control over what you're eating than anything else.

Balancing a busy life is a full time job. Good luck, keep your head up. emoticon

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No patience today!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

My "job" is a substitute teacher. I go into other people's classrooms and take their spots whenever they can't be here to teach their students. It is a rewarding, though low paying job, especially for me, I have my teaching degree but am one of the many recent graduates who are unable to find a teaching job due to budget cuts.

It's frustrating for me to be 2.5 years past graduation and still not have a job. I am really going to put a major effort into job hunting this year and applying and doing everything I need to do to make sure that I ma successful in getting a job this year. Teaching is all I want to do with my life.

I think that losing weight will have a positive impact on my job search. It will be nice to be viewed as a normal size woman instead of an obese applicant. I know the statistics....thin people get hired more often than fat people...the world's last tolerated form of discrimination!

So today I am getting back on the fitness wagon which I fell off of last week. I am going to go run and I am going to like it- darn it! I am going to do Lv 2 of the 30 day shred and I am going to love that too!

I have 2 more big reasons for wanting to lose this weight....
My High school reunion next summer
My son's Soccer 8th grade night in April (I have to walk out on th e field in front of EVERYONE with my son!!)

So that's three external reasons for needing to get healthy. Time to get on it!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NELLIEC 2/29/2012 2:14PM

    There is at least one more reason -- to have a better quality healthy life. Too much weight is associated with so many diseases, so it is a good idea to have a lifestyle that maintains your health.

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MARVEEME 2/28/2012 9:07PM

    ATTAGIRL! And welcome back!

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ROBININVEGAS 2/28/2012 3:42PM

    That must be frustrating, keep up your spirits and do not stop until you get your dream job. Many future students are waiting..........and what a great role model you'll be.

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DREAMNSCHEME 2/28/2012 3:13PM

    You can do it!

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Stupid allergies!

Monday, February 27, 2012

I have been off track for the last week.

Follow-up: I went to the doctor and was indeed diagnosed with exercise induced asthma thanks to my newly found allergies. I have no insurance, so my doctor had me fill out papers for a program from Merck that will provide my medications (An inhaler, singualair, Nasonex) for free. I still haven't heard back from them or received any medication. Last week I got really sick. My head hurt, had a horrible runny nose and head congestion. At first I thought I was getting the flu, but it turns out it's my horrid allergies! I found some really, old, nasonex of mine in the medicine cabinet and I have taken a few of my son's singulair to feel better. (I have to get my singulair soon so I can replace my son's meds.) I am doing better though I still have the runny nose and occasional headache. Having no insurance and being "poor" sucks!

So for most of last week I did nothing. I didn't track my food most days and because I felt bad I ate comfort foods. I haven't weighed because I am sure I gained. I am getting back on track today and making sure I run and do 30 Day shred, and stick to my diet so that I can get below 220 before Friday.

Hoping that I can get my motivation back. I have been sooooo unmotivated. I have noticed my lack of motivation has been in line with my lax in reading weight loss themed books, stories, and magazines. Need to find some on my Kindle today!

I am also starting my new job hunt. Year #3 trying to get a teaching job. WIsh me luck!

Have a great day Sparkers!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANDK156 2/27/2012 3:19PM

    Acupuncture cleared my sinuses in 4 visits, from having been completely stuffed (unmoving kind of stuffed!) for 2 months. That was after 2 rounds of antibiotics failed to help. I don't know if you're the type to go for that but I absolutely loved it and felt fantastic all around. It was the nicest half hour of my week!

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NELLIEC 2/27/2012 2:09PM

    I am praying that you get your meds approved soon!

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Exercised Induced Asthma?

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

It's been awhile since I have blogged. Don't know why I haven't...it just hasn't happened. Basically I have been doing well. I am down to 224.4 pounds. I have been doing my best to stick to my diet. I have been following my C25K running plan and have started 30 Day Shred.

Last night was Wk3 D1 of C25k. Basically for a part of the workout time last night, we had to double our running time which SUUUUCCCCKKKEEEDDD. Well I noticed while I was running, even during the walking portion, I was having a hard time catching my breath. I finished the workout just as planned and went back home to do 30 day Shred. I could barely do it. I felt awful. I was wheezing some. I have had small bouts of exercise induced asthma (I self diagnosed) before. But this was the worst yet. I really felt like I was sucking air through a straw. Afterwards I was so tired and MEAN emoticon (I didn't sleep well the night before) that I blessed my family with an early bedtime for myself, took 2 melatonin, and went to sleep. This morning my back, near my right shoulder blade feels as if it is in knots, and it hurts through to the front of my chest. I am not sure if it's from my wheezing workout last night or if it's from the way I slept. (I sleep on my sides which put a lot of strain on my shoulders. I have had problems with that before.) I have taken 2 ibuprofen, and am trying to work through it, but it's no fun at all.

I have no health insurance so I am going to make an appointment with the free clinic (Which is run with the help of my own doctor) and see what they can do for me about this exercise induced asthma. I don't want this to stop me from working out, or to hurt my workouts in anyway.

So I am pretty bummed...

I am in 2 different Biggest loser competitions. One is with my family and I am pretty sure I am not winning it, and the other is with one of the schools I work at and I am pretty sure I am not winning that one either. Lol! Aunt Flo is visiting again and I blew my diet yesterday, so I have to be extra vigilant with what I eat the next three days to make sure I lose weight again on Friday for BL Competiton #2.

Workout today is suppose to be strength training. I feel like such crap, i am not sure I will get it in. I will do what I can do and that's all I can do...

Everyone have a great day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHATTIEGIRL 2/9/2012 9:21PM

    H Melody;

I hope you get to see the doctor and get some help and go on line to see if you can get insurance. I will say prays for you and that your days get better. Keep doing your exercise going and eating healthy. Learn something new every day. May God bless you always and keep you safe.

Smile Joyce

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    I had exercise induced asthma years ago, doc put me on an inhaler and told me to get my weight down. It took me awhile, but once the weight was down substantially (I went from 205-159, now back up to 169) I noticed one day that I didn't have the breathing problem any longer. I wish you luck and keep the press on, the weight will continue to go down gradually. emoticon

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JANDK156 2/7/2012 5:05PM

    I have that, too, and use an inhaler before strenuous exercise, which then prevents attacks. Good luck!

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NELLIEC 2/7/2012 1:56PM

    Asthma can make a big impact on your life. I certainly hope you can get some help with it!

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CAKEMAKERMOM 2/7/2012 10:43AM

    If you really do have asthma, please get it looked at. I hope your dr can do something for you. It can make you suffocate because the lungs aren't working right.

Congratulations on your weight loss! Even if you aren't winning the biggest loser competitions, you're winning your own life competition.

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:) Another pound down!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Good morning.

Things are going well. My weight this morning was 226.6. That is down to the lowest number I have seen thus far this new weight loss endeavour. I have lost 5 pounds this time around and a total of 11 pounds from my highest weight ever.

Food was good yesterday. I stayed within my calorie range and I exercised, doing 30 mins of taebo, and 40 mins of run/walking. I am excited to be doing so well. The knees are holding up and didn't hurt much at all yesterday. I took a long, hot, soak in the bath and then iced them and my heel.

Thanks to everyone for leaving such positive comments on my blog yesterday and for expressing your concern as well about my running with injured knees. My right knee was injured years ago in a succession of car wrecks and is good as it's ever gonna be. THe left one was recently injured and is holding up well. I have been a runner all my life, I suffer from arthritis and fibromyalgia, and know the difference between the daily aches and pains and when something is more serious. I won't push myself too hard that I injure myself. I am super careful about protecting my knees.

Today is an easy day of some basic strength training and 40-60 mins of yoga. :)

Have a great day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNNYAUTUMN812 1/28/2012 8:02AM

    Good Job!!! emoticon emoticon

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MARVEEME 1/28/2012 7:44AM


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MARTHASPARKS 1/26/2012 2:08PM

    Great move in the right direction!

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JANDK156 1/25/2012 8:50PM

    That's great! Very happy for you :D

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ELLFIN3 1/25/2012 5:18PM

    Sounds like You know just what You need to do to get rid of the pounds! WooHoo for You and Your health! Awesome on another pound gone forever!!!!! emoticon

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    emoticon emoticon

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