LODYANGEL   12,557
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Exhausted, Tired, and Achy

Friday, September 30, 2011

I need to take better care of myself.

I also need to nurture my relationship with God more. I know there are things he wants me to do. I can't seem to follow whatever plan that he has set out for me. My relationship with my boyfriend is a problem. We have been together for 17 years and he has his own demons. We have been through more than I ever thought I would put up with. He is an alcoholic and he goes through the alcoholic cycle. He's great for a day or two to grumpy to a big blow up and then great again. The cycle is horrible and hard to live with. I have asked him countless times to get help and he won't do it. His drama adversely affects my life. I have started having anxiety attacks again, had small bouts of depression. I have fibromyalgia and the stress causes my fibromyalgia to flare, causing body aches which increases my depression.

And we all know how hard it is to workout when we feel bad.

So I need to make some choices. I need to be strong, and stick to what I have to do. I don't feel like I will ever get anywhere in my life until I get rid of this baggage.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEEBEE1936 10/1/2011 12:53AM

    Give Al-Anon a try. We shouldn't let someone like your boyfriend make our lives miserable. There is also a link on the computer for Al-Anon. You need help. Your boy friend choses to drink and you need to chose your life style. It will never be any different with him, don't be his enabler.
Wish you happier times. Believe me life is to short to put up with what you are. I am 75 and look back and think where did those years go.

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MARVEEME 9/30/2011 8:24PM

    Dump this guy now! Yesterday is not soon enough. Do what you need to do to get him out of your life forever. It doesn't have to be dramatic, just matter of fact.

Print this out:


This has resulted in many great relationships in my life. If you can't agree with the first sentence, then it's time to make a change. Keep the printout on the fridge for the outline you'll need to have a great relationship with everyone else.


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Old School Playlist

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I am old school. My favorite songs to workout to now were the same ones that I ran to back in High school when I ran Cross Country and track. Here's a list of my favorites, old school and some not so old school...

1. Push It- Salt N Pepa
2. The Power- Snap
3. Rub you the right way- Keith Sweat
4. Bust a Move- Young MC
5. WHoomp There It IS- Tag Team
6. U Go Girl- Tag Team
7. None of Your Business- Salt N Pepa
8. Summatime Man- Salt N Pepa
10. Supergirl- Saving Jane
11. It Feels Good- Toni Tone Tony
12. Stronger- Kanye West
13. Golddigger- Kanye West
14. Motown Philly- Boys II Men
15. Old Kentucky Home- KD, Nappy Roots....
16. Party In The USA- Miley Cyrus
17. Pumps N a Bump- Hammer
18. Freak Like Me- Adina Howard
19. Blah Blah Blah- Ke$ha
20. Tic Toc- Ke$ha
21. Everybody- Laura Bell Bundy
22. Free Your Mind- En Vogue
23. Right Round- Flo Rida
24. Awwnaww- Nappy Roots w/ Marcos of P.O.D. (Rock Version)
25. Tricky- Run DMC
26. Unskinny Bop- Poison
27. We're Not Gonna Take It- Twisted Sister
28. Wind It Up- Gwen Stefani
29. Super Bass- Nikki Menaj (My Newest favorite!)
30.Black Cat- Janet Jackson
31. My Humps- Black Eyed Peas (Good warm up or cool down

Well that's the top 31...

I got my water in yesterday and I did my 10 mins of exercise. I actually played soccer with my U8 team for about 20 mins. emoticon I have practice tonight with my U14 team, but I don't play with them because they are much bigger and I don't want them to hurt me. emoticon

I am concentrating on eating healthy, but the focus is on movement. Tonight will be some yoga. Tomorrow is work with no computer access. :( I will have to blog tomorrow night. Well until tomorrow! Carpe Diem!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PROVERBS31JULIA 10/25/2011 12:32AM

    I had to laugh at your comment being "Old School"... I've sooo gotta get my 1960's and 1970's "old skool" playlist together. Have the CD's but hate ripping them and then forgetting the next step to getting them on my iPhone (especially since I really want them to land in my external hard drive and not on my regular pc's hard drive - I lost files the last time it crashed!).

But some that I'm fairly certain would be on the list might be....

Grand Funk Railroad
- "We're an American Band"
- "Sally"

oh ...

I'm too tired for this...

but I'm thinking...

Anyway I was in my 20's when these songs came out on your list, but I loved many of Salt -n- Peppa's hits... (not that far removed from The Pointer Sister's "Jump For My Love" and other great songs...)...


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NELLIEC 9/29/2011 12:06AM

    Movement and eating healthy is great!

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FAIL...and new shoes!!!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


I wish the news was better. I wish I could report that I had stuck to plan and lost twenty pounds, but that is not the case.

I was doing really well- really well, on the seventeen day diet, and I didn't intentionally slip off. I ran out of food...

Yes that's right I ran out of the food I was suppose to be eating. The diet is restrictive and I ran out of the food I was suppose to be eating, and I hadn't gotten paid yet, so I had to stop the diet.

However, it was a success in that I felt better & I didn't intentionally quit.

However, I have a big FAIL in the exercise department. I have not been exercising at all and my health is showing it. My arthritis is back. My hips, knees, and even my ankles have been killing me. Fibromyalgia bites!

Entirely my fault. If I workout my arthritis rarely, if ever, hurts.

Also, I have had small episodes of depression, and several anxiety attacks.

Again, I didn't have these problems when I was working out.

So the problem is what to do about it.

I am going back to the bare basics. I am not dieting right now and I am going to do ten minutes a day of some sort of exercise. I think to start I am going to do yoga. Then progress on to other things. I am changing my goals here at sparkpeople, and work towards small slow changes. I have difficulty with that. I always put too much on myself, burn out quickly, or find it all too much, and end up with the big FAIL.

Did I mention that I self sabotage? Every time things go good I will mess it up on purpose.

No diet right now. Honestly, dieting I think makes me fatter because I put an unhealthy emphasis on food. Maybe just eat healthy- which I am decently good at now anyway- and put the emphasis on working out.

Here is some exciting news...

I found Reebok slimtone shoes for $27.99 at finishline.com. I ordered them and LOVE them. I highly recommend them. I like them so much I am ordering another pair in a different color. Plus, you can not beat the price!! I have never saw a toning shoe for less than fifty dollars.

I also ordered a pair of Asics Gel Nimbus 12's. I only run in Asics. I love them so I knew I would be happy with them, however...When I took these out of the box, I wanted to go run. It's awesome when a shoe makes you want to be more active!

Well off to eat my breakfast (Yogurt and a banana) and seize the day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NELLIEC 9/27/2011 9:19PM

    Well, eating healthy should be the end result anyway, so starting to do that as much as possible is great! Any special diet that we can't continue is just temporary.

Yoga sounds like a good exercise for arthritic conditions since it is fairly gentle and yet gives a good workout.

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MARVEEME 9/27/2011 9:24AM

    See Melody. See Melody run. RUN Melody RUN!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Day 8 of the 17 day diet. Cycle 1

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Today is day 8. I miscalculated yesterday and called it day 6. Whatever.

First off, I want to say...I am not going to defend my diet to any of you people. I did that once a few months ago (See my blog post about "Snarkiness on SP"). My diet is healthy, I get all the calories I need, and I have NO cravings now. Last weigh in I had lost 4 more pounds. So that's all the proof I need for myself! Before you comment on a diet, research it. I tried to follow SP diet but the counting calories drove me insane! I can't spend every moment on my computer and when I was logging...I felt like I was LITERALLY on the computer all day, entering calories, entering exercise. It was too much. This way it's more relaxed and I am happier and less stressed!

I am getting sick. Have a sinus thing, throat is sore, headache. Yuck! Last night I slid off the diet a bit. I ate a little bit of ice cream. Not enough to derail all my hard work, but I wanted to be totally on plan yesterday so I was depressed that I allowed it to happen. But when your sick you want comfort food. Tonight I will read a book instead!

I still haven't gotten back to working out. Hopefully soon!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHATTIEGIRL 9/19/2011 9:58PM

    Hi Melody:

I sure hope you are feeling better by now. I don't eat the Spark people menus. I put my own food in and most times I am at the low point of my calories. I eat a balance breakfast, cereal, banana or some fruit, juice, and green herbal tea. Lunch is light cottage cheese and fruit or a sandwich with lettuce, tomato and onion a cheese , tuna or lunch meats. Dinner veggies, meat and very little starch sweet potato, brown rice or spaghetti noodles of some kind. I will eat a cookie piece of mini hershey candy, cashews what ever I want and i don't go over my calories. You have to do what is best for you as long as you stay healthy. God bless you always. Learn something new every day.

Smile Joyce

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MARVEEME 8/23/2011 5:59PM

    emoticon emoticon
Do what you need to do to 1) get healthy again 2) stay healthy and 3) plan your life and live your plan.

My prayers for a speedy recovery!

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Day 6

Monday, August 22, 2011

I am on day 6 of the 17 day diet.

I am still at 4 pounds lost.

The weekend was good. I went off the diet a tad. Saturday I ate a lean hamburger (No on the first cycle of the diet) and a small piece of strawberry shortcake. Yesterday I ate 2 pieces of pizza. Other than that I was on plan. :)

Today I am fully back on plan. Breakfast was 2 hardboiled eggs and blueberries. (I am out of yogurt.) Lunch was steamed tilapia with tomato slices and cauliflower. WIth 1 tsp of ranch for dipping. The drink of the day is homemade lemonade sweetened with stevia. Dinner will probably be chicken- grilled.

I am still not feeling the motivation to work out. I think about it, but the motivation to realy get out there isn't with me. Any ideas to help rev up my engines...let me know.

Baby boy had the stomach virus. He is home with Mom and doing better. I have a headache and a sore throat. I hope whatever it is will pass. I can't afford to be sick.

Well I am off to finish my day.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NELLIEC 8/22/2011 10:13PM

    I figure if I am not feeling very motivated, I should go ahead and do ten minutes of exercise. Then after that I usually feel motivated to do more.

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JESSICA2140 8/22/2011 1:39PM

    For me, the best motivation to work out is...to work out! Sounds silly, I know, but once I've forced myself to do at least 15 minutes of something, I find I don't want to stop! It also helps to have "fabulous prizes" waiting for you at the end of the week...if I hit my workout every planned day in the week, I give myself a prize...but make VERY sure that they are not food oriented. Things like a new book, or a new shirt, a facial. One week, I "gave" myself a free day around the house where I did ABSOLUTELY nothing that was cleaning oriented! Little motivators...but they work for me!

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