Wednesday, April 20, 2011
I got way-laid.
Blown off course.
The good news is I am back.
I got an awful stomach virus a few weeks back and it took me 5 days to get over it. That just knocked me for a loop. I got to feeling much better and then my knee started hurting again. Between all that I lost my momentum and have stopped exercising. I am looking forward to getting back to it though. My knee has not hurt for several days, so I think that it (hopefully) is healed and won't bother me anymore.
I started a new diet. Counting calories just isn't getting me where I wanna be. I bought the book the 17 day diet, and am now on day 4. I haven't weighed yet, so I don't know if it is working or not, but I think today I looked less bloated. Hopefully this is a start of something positive! The diet is kinda restrictive, especially at first, but I am hoping it will help me eat better and more clean. For the first 17 days I eat chicken, fish, or turkey- as much as I want- prepared healthy. I can have as much as I want of healthy vegetables like broccoli, carrots, celery, tomatoes, and two servings a day of a probiotic dairy, two servings a day of a low sugar fruit, and two servings of fat such as oil. It seems simple, but is hard to stick to. I don't think a day has passed yet that I haven't cheated at least a little, but I think it is teaching me to eat better. Breakfast usually s a yogurt, fruit, and/ or egg. Lunch is a salad, and Dinner is a grilled meat, and veggies. I am not suppose to eat any carbs after 2:00. That is also hard to stick too. My son has had soccer games all week- every night. And due to my hunger, I have been having a horrendous time trying to stick to it at night. When your at the ball field and starving there are no healthy options. I was starving last night and quickly added up my calories and realized that I had eaten less than 500 for the day, so I ate two chili dogs. Not the most healthy option...and definitely not on my diet!!
My son had a soccer game last night. The coach rarely lets him play even though my son has real talent. He got to play about 5 whole minutes and got an assist in that time and just played awesome! I was so proud of him!
There were some bad storms that moved through last night. I live in a mobile home so I sat up until midnight, went to sleep, got back up at one to turn on the news to watch the radar. Realized we were under a severe thunderstorm warning and had to get the kids up, and ready to evacuate the aluminum, rectangular, box I live in. My oldest child is at College in a neighboring town, and I almost had a heart attack when I saw the tornado warning box pop up on the screen for his county. I called and called his phone and he had it turned off. Thankfully, the funnel cloud did not touch down, but he is getting his butt chewed today for being so irresponsible!! So we left home and went up the road to my sister's house (She has a basement), and stayed there til we got the all clear at 2:30. I rode back home, got the kids in the house, and back t bed, and collapsed in bed at 3:00. Only to have to get back up at 6:00 to start all over again!
So I am exhausted today. I broke my diet again and bought an energy drink. I have fibromyalgia, so the lack of sleep makes me ache like I have the flu. The energy drink is not good for me, but it perked me up enough that I can do my job as a teacher and it will get me through the day. Again, that is not on my diet...but I was desperate. Aching and trying to teach an entire group of third graders is no fun at all!!
Well off to my day! I am gonna try to stick to my diet and have a good day! I am restarting 30 day shred again on Saturday.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Things aren't going the way I thought they would. Things aren't going well. Losing weight is not easy~ Who knew??
So I need to rework my goals. Some goals I have already missed. I need to rework them, set new deadlines, and give myself some more breathing room. I have to realize that this weight loss thing is not gonna come easy for me. It's work and I have to get back to the work of it so that I can make this happen for me.
First I need to explain what all has been goign wrong. Confess my sins so to speak so I can release them and move on from them.
First, I am guilty of self sabotage. Meaning? I cause myself to fail. AT EVERYTHING!!! I procrastinate at everything. This hurts me, not only at my efforts to get healthy, but also at my efforts to find a job, to keep my house clean, basically it effects every aspect of my life in a negative way. Complicating matters is the fact that I have fibromyalgia and ADD. It's just not fun to be me when I have a deadline looming.
Second, I have not been doing what I need to do to lose weight. My exercise has been sporadic. My eating out of control. It's frustrating. I need to get back on course immediately. If I am to reach my goal weight and reclaim my life, it has to be now. I am 37. I am running out of time.
Third, I hurt my knee...I took several days off because I injured my knee. It seems to be better now.
Fourth, my computer has been messed up and logging into sparkpeople has been difficult. I don't have internet on my phone, so tracking when I am not at work can be very hard. I have a plan to go check into high speed wireless internet. It just came to my area (Yes, we just have dial-up) and seems to be affordable. So when I get paid at the end of the month I will probably convert to high speed to ensure I have access to the internet as much as possible.
The last few weeks have been full of failures.
I started Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, and stopped because I missed one day...then two...then I couldn't find the DVD. So, today I start that again. So Goal Number one is start the 30 Day Shred TODAY and finish it (30 Days) by April 14th. That allows for 2 days I can take off if needed or if something happens. Allowing flexibility will help me reach my goals faster.
I haven't been logging everything I eat, giving me "permission" to overeat. It's ridiculous. I know better. I have to start being accountable.
My exercise has been sporadic. Enough to keep me in shape but not enough to make me feel like I am doing anything worthwhile, anything to help myself.
So all these things must be corrected. I have to get myself together.
Here are my re-worked, re-thought-out goals.
My goal: To get a teaching job for the 2011-2012 school year.
What I need to do to get there:
• Rework portfolio and submit to my teacher-friends to review by March 18th.
• Receive feedback and make final drafts of portfolio by April 1.
• Research school systems within an hours drive of my home and submit portfolios and applications to them by April 15th, 2011.
• Research school system websites daily for jobs beginning March 1, 2011.
• Visit Principal’s (& Superintendents) at schools with job openings within 2 days of job posting.
• Send thank you letters to Principals within 2 days of interviews or meeting them.
My Goal: I would like to have a relationship where I feel that I am cared for and loved.
My Goal: To run a 5K by June 2011.
• I will run 3 times a week following C25K.
• Find races to run on the race calendar at Johnsrunwalkshop.com
My Goal: Have 12 shoeboxes ready to send to OCC by November 2011, and have the $60 it will cost to ship them, saved.
*Prepare one box every month.
*Have a different kid, participate in the picking out of items for each shoebox.
*Put $7 back each month to help pay for shipping the boxes.
My Goal: Visit www.Makeachildsmile.com monthly and send at least 3 children cards.
My Goal: I will decrease my weight by a total of 82 pounds by October 30, 2011.
*I will obtain healthy eating habits and fitness habits.
~I will implement the whole foods eating in my household.
*I will workout for 30 mins 5x’s a week.
~Zumba 3X’s a week
~Run: 3 X’s a week
~Jillian Micheals 30 day Shred: Daily through April 14, 2011.
~ Insanity: April 18- June 21, 2011.
* I will track my calories DAILY recording everything I eat.
* I will lose twenty pounds by April 30, 2011.
*I will run a 5K by June 2011.
~Follow C25K running plan.
*I will lose 40 pounds by July 15, 2011.
*I will lose 60 pounds by October 30, 2011.
*I will run a 5K by September 2011.
~Follow advanced running plans online.
*I will lose 80 pounds by New Years Day 2012.
Okay time to get it together and get it done. No more excuses. I can do this.
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Happy 37th Birthday to myself today!
I am very blessed that, at 37 years old, I have four beautiful children who love me, I have a BF who is a tremendous pain in my @$$- but he loves me too. I have a roof over my head, a nice car to drive, a family that loves me and supports me and I am relatively healthy...though I need to improve my health some more. So I know how blessed I am today on this day of renewal.
This is my Happy New Year. THIS day is the start of my 37th year. I have so many things I wanna do differently. So many things I ant to be different when 38 comes around. I wanna be able to look back and see the changes I have made for the better. So this year I am going to work towards:
~Getting a job
~Making my relationship with BF a happier, healthier one.
~Being the best parent I can be to my children.
~Being a good friend to all
~Doing things to help out my community in whatever small way I can.
Next year I will look back on these things and know that I completed them all!
I haven't done 30 Day Shred the last few days because.... I can not find the DVD!! Grr!! Going to try to find it this afternoon, but still may not be able to do it because...
Yesterday I went for a run/ walk. It was great! I felt good, the run felt good. It wasn't incredibly hard like it is sometimes. I even pushed myself some at the end to run more than I had to. It was a great run. No incidences of anything going wrong.
After the run, I got in the car to go pick up my son from soccer. That's when I felt the pain. A pain deep in my left knee mostly on the right side above my knee cap, but sometimes radiating underneath my knee cap and to the left and below. My knee is functioning fine. No glitches, just constant pain. It wasn't too bad last night, but started to hurt a little more when I went to bed. I had to get up and take tylenol & Motrin and I slept with an ice pack all night long. I got up this morning and it's still hurting, despite the dose of Tylenol & Motrin again and I have been icing it whenever my job will allow me to sit for any length of time. (I am a substitute teacher.) I am no wimp. I have fibromyalgia, and arthritis and most the time I just push right along through the pain. However, this worries me. I am afraid that I have done permanent damage to my knee...and the bad part is this is my GOOD knee that is hurting! So I guess we will have to wait and see how it does. I don't have insurance so any types of tests are out for now.... Hopefully it will just go away!
My BF is fixing me italian for my birthday tonight so I am only counting calories during the day. I know that I will blow it tonight, so since it's my birthday I am not gonna worry about it. I am taking the day off from exercise as well. I hadn't planed to, but since my knee hurts so bad, I think it is warranted.
So happy birthday to me. Let's pray this pain leaves my knee!!
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