Wednesday, February 09, 2011
I’m back on track.
After the flu and being sidelined for a day or two by migraines I am back on track. I am eating healthy and planning my meals and back to working out. So yay for that!
Yesterday was good. I went a little over my calories, but it’s that TOM, and the hormones are raging. I am thankful that I was able to hang on as well as I did. Cravings aren’t as bad today-yet. Hopefully I can keep them at bay! Breakfast was a fiber one oats and peanut butter bar and a dark hot chocolate with milk. I really don’t like the dark hot chocolate with milk…too rich for me. I much prefer it with water. However, I am doing a challenge this week on Sparkpeople to try to meet my 100% RDA of calcium. I never thought much about calcium because I do eat a lot of dairy. I love cheese and yogurt and most days have some of each. Yesterday I had cheese, yogurt, 2 servings of cottage cheese, and sour cream and still only got in 62% of my RDA. I guess I am not doing as well as I thought! I think I am going to purchase some supplements to help get my intake up! Luckily today my breakfast already has me at 60% RDA, so I might meet my goal today!!
This morning I have been playing on My Virtual Model. (Search Virtual model and follow the link!) I have done this many times before. First, I made a “Fat Melody” at my starting weight of 237. She was very pretty, but made me very sad when I looked at her. I guess because I know how truly unhappy she is with that body. Then I made a “ThinMelody” at my goal weight of 155. I am positively skinny at that weight!! I had a great time dressing her and trying on bikinis. She was HOT! I hope I look even remotely that good when I lose all this weight. Then I created “Midpoint Melody.” She looked really good. Cute. I remember the last time I was close to that weight- I was decent looking. I had a nearly flat stomach. I had to have a stress test and the male nurse who was putting the little sticky monitors on me told me I didn’t look like I weighed that much. (oh yes, he was flirting with me, and I was flirting back! Lol) So maybe I can look decent at that weight again in the next few months. It’s only 29 pounds away…
When I reach 20 pounds down, I am gonna make another model and compare her to my first virtual model. That should be interesting. I also have actual before pics. I’m not taking another set until I am 20 pounds down. They are awful!!
Well on to more positive things. I got through the “Kathy Smith’s Weight Loss Workout” last night. I used to do that workout all the time when I was younger and man is it tough! I bought the DVD of it online last year and had only done bits and pieces of it. I like it because of the dancing aspect of it. The knee lifts are killer though. I bet you do hundreds of knee lifts during the video. Should help shape up my thighs!!
Today is strength training and I think I am going to Zumba if it doesn’t start snowing. We are right along the line where the snow is suppose to cut off. If it cuts off closer to Lexington then we will get no snow, if it pushes more north we may get some. So I guess I will have to wait and see. If it does snow I will do a TBL DVD.
For lunch I am having a burger, with guacamole, salsa and tablespoon of light sour cream on tortillas. I have been craving burgers. I don’t know if it’s something missing in my diet or if it’s because it’s that time of month, but I gotta have a burger!!
Dinner is gonna be a healthy request Mexican Tortilla soup. YUM! I looked at my food tracker an I have officially got in all my calcium for the day!
Have a great day all!
Some of you asked to see my vision collage. It's filling up very quickly! I added those pictures from My Virtual Model to the collage today. I also made a "ticker" that I am going to keep on the wall beside my computer! If I lose a pound the arrow moves down! I love the tickers, so this was fun and really easy to do! I added a picture of it as well. If it's not on my blog, check my pictures! :)
Monday, February 07, 2011
I think that I am over the flu for the most part. Yay!
Today I am working. That is good. I also have my day planned out. Work. Meals. Exercise (Zumba if the roads aren't bad or Kathy Smith Weight loss workout if they are), take Daughter to 4H. Dinner is still in the air, but since it is at home I can be sure that I keep it healthy and with in my calorie budget.
Food yesterday was awful. We had a lunch at Church and then my thirteen year old had a Superbowl party for his cousins. We had a great time but I had several deep-fried, buffalo wings. We had healthier fare such as baked chips, dips made with 2% velveeta, a fruit tray, laughing cow cheese and pretzels, but it still was a day of overindulgence.
Last night after everyone left I sat up late looking through Fitness Magazine and found a few more inspirational pictures and phrases for my vision collage. I have made my vision collage a work in progress. Instead of making it all at one time, I am adding pieces as I go. It is coming along nicely. It is about 2 ft tall by 1 ft wide and covers the "Snack cabinet" in the kitchen. I figure once I am done I can create a small one in the bathroom and maybe another in my bedroom, maybe a tiny one in my car. Lots of places to keep my dreams in the front of my ADD mind! Lol! After I was done I took a picture of it and put it as the wallpaper on my cellphone. That way I have to face my dreams 40 times a day!
As for my overindulgence, yesterday is behind me and today is a new day, Today I will stay within my calorie counts, exercise, and drink my water to get rid of the excess bloat. I will stay within my calorie range and eat my fruits and veggies.
Life will be good. I will be good. On to my goals!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
I wrote this a few days ago and had internet problems and couldn't post it. So here it is.
Today’s topic is progress…
I have been doing this healthy lifestyle change, for well…many, many, years. It was in 2001 I joined 3FC and really began to learn about healthy eating. I would follow diet plans, lose a few pounds, and give up and gain it all back plus more.
I always wanted to run again. I had been a distance runner in high school and had always wanted to run a 5K, and a marathon. Life got in the way of those dreams. I had a baby at 17, was working two jobs and going to high school, then working and going to college, and then on to have more babies. My family became my life and I comforted myself with the fact that I might be unhealthy, but I was a good mom, and my kids were happy and that is what mattered. I was delusional.
I developed arthritis at 28, had my gall bladder and a lipoma removed in 2001. That should have been a wake up call, but it wasn’t. I continued to eat junk, drinking 6-8 Coke’s a day. I developed stomach problems that they never diagnosed. I would have stomach pains…starting out like heart burn or a gall bladder attack (which had been removed, but they left the ducts which means you can still have attacks!) and quickly morphing into the worst pain I had ever experienced! (This comes from a woman who gave birth to her four children naturally. No drugs of any kind.) It was in 2008 when I got really angry about my health; I had developed arthritis, and excruciating stomach problems; and I got mad and decided enough was enough. After many tests to try to diagnose my stomach problems, (which were never diagnosed. They did rule out cancer and Chrone’s disease, but other than that who knows what was wrong?) I took matters in my own hands. I decided that all the soda I was drinking could not have been good for my stomach. So I quit. Cold turkey. I switched from regular soda to Kool-aid, and then to water. The only beverages I drink now are water, tea, lemonade, and an occasional Kool-aid or wine. I also started working out. On July 4th, 2008 I decided that was my own personal independence day and I started walking everyday for 45 minutes to an hour. Within a few weeks I tried running again, but struggled. Then I found the “Couch to 5K” running program and began again. I lost 30 pounds and felt so much better about myself. But as winter moved in I lost my resolve and gained the weight back. This cycle has went on with varying degrees of success for the last few years.
Some habits I picked up along the way I kept. I eat more veggies. I read everything I can get my hands on about health and nutrition (My sister likes to say I know everything there is to know about fitness and health.) I still do not drink soda. I drink loads of water. I still run. In March 2010 I ran my first 3K….but I’m still obese.
It’s the food that is a problem, through all the things I have done. The food keeps me fat.
The thing is…I don’t even like the junk anymore. I don’t crave the junk food. I snack on Fiber One bars, clementines, and apples. I don’t restrict any type of food, but if it’s a problem I won’t buy it. When it’s that time of the month and I am craving Ben & Jerry’s Phish food ice cream, I have to drive ten miles to get it. Sometimes it is worth the drive for me, sometimes it’s not, but the choice is mine. There is no more mindless eating for me. I track every calorie. I account for every bite. Even though I am eating less, I am not hungry.
As for my heath problems, my arthritis only bothers me when I get lazy and don’t workout. My stomach problems are nearly non-existent. I occasionally have a stomach pain that reminds me of the former “attacks,” but they never progress to excruciating. There are no mad dashes to the ER. My blood pressure is good, cholesterol is within normal limits, things are good.
So I know that this new sparkdiet is still new to me. But I know that if I stay focused I can stick with it, and my new lifestyle changes I am making along this journey will become habits. Here’s to losing 72 more pounds!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
I have goals. I have had goals all my life. I have written down these goals. Thought about these goals. Tried to attain these goals, but something always stops me. Derails me. Sidetracks me. I have discovered it is my own fear. Fear of what?? I don't know for sure. Perhaps it is a fear of failure, fear of success, fear of change... maybe a mixture of all three. Who knows. I have come to realize that whatever my goal...I tend to self sabotage myself. I have been doing this "getting healthy" thing for years. Since at least 2001. And I am still bigger than when I was 9 months pregnant with any of my four children! As a matter of fact, despite my best efforts, I continually get larger!
I have moderate amounts of success. I will workout, eat healthy and lose 25-30 pounds, but that is usally the mimit. I fall off the wagon, get lazy, stop exercising, and when the holidays come, every time, I gain at least some of the weight back. I am happy to say that I came out of my holiday eating funk in time to stop myself before I gained back everything I had lost this summer. Still...it's depressing. That I can not overcome my innate need to destroy myself is depressing, saddening, crazy.
The good part is I recognize this. This year I stopped myself from getting bigger than my highest weight ever. That is a win. That is improvement. That is progress.
I have been reading, THE SPARK. I am now on Chapter two and am re-setting my goals. I realize that this is a work in progress. I realize that my goals need to be kept in the forefront of my mind. They need to be there so that I won't forget. So the sidetracks become shorter and shorter, and the stop signs disappear altogether. I am doing several things to make this happen.
The first is my Vision collage. I took a large piece of white paper and covered the front of one of my kitchen cabinets with it. (It is covering my "snack" cabinet.) On it I have glued a few motivating items. A cartoon drawing of a teacher, a blackboard saying "best teacher", several pictures of the ocean, a picture of a woman running...these things are things I want for myself. Things that motivate me. Right now there is still a great deal of blank spots left. That is so my vision collage can change. Along this journey I fully expect to find new things I wanna try, new things to experience, so I wanna leave lots of room for those motivating things as well. Plus, I am not done growing yet...so who knows where my vision collage will take me.
I am also writing my goals out. Positively stated. With deadlines.
Deadlines are scary. Deadlines typically suck. Deadlines mean that you have to so something, you don't wanna do, by this certain time or bad things will happen to you. Don't pay your bill by the deadline, pay a late fee. Don't turn your homework in on time...fail. Don't get that project done for work...get fired. Yep, Deadlines suck. But this time I am looking at deadlines differently...well, sort of. These deadlines are good things. They will keep me on track toward the bigger things. If I don't meet these deadlines...then the bad things will happen. The bad thing...me, feeling like a failure.
I am tired of feeling like a failure. I always envision myself as a winner. If you wanna be a winner, you have to act like a winner, and that means MEETING DEADLINES!!
Here are some exercises I did this morning to help me meet come up with my new goals.
Here are some questions to help you think "on purpose" about your goals:
• What do you really love to do and excel at and why?
I love to teach. That is what I was made to do. When I am in a classroom that is when I am truly happy. I completed one of my life goals in 2009. I went back to college and received my Bachelor’s degree on Elementary Education. Since then, I have been unable to find a job. The education budget has been continually cut, and experienced teachers are losing their jobs. Because of this, I can only find work as a substitute teacher. Sub work is great. I love it. But it doesn’t pay the bills. I don’t work consistently and I am falling further and further behind on my rent. It is frustrating to have worked so hard…for nothing.
My goal: To get a teaching job for the 2011-2012 school year.
What I need to do to get there:
• Rework portfolio and submit to my teacher-friends to review by Valentine’s Day.
• Receive feedback and make final drafts of portfolio by March 1, 2011.
• Research school systems within an hours drive of my home and submit portfolios and applications to them by March 30th, 2011.
• Research school system websites daily for jobs beginning March 1, 2011.
• Visit Principal’s (& Superintendents) at schools with job openings within 2 days of job posting.
• Send thank you letters to Principals within 2 days of interviews or meeting them.
• What was your best moment? Day? Week? Why was it so good? Break down the elements of each to find insights that might help shape your purpose.
I’m not sure about my best day. My best day in my relationship with my boyfriend was the day of my friends wedding. My boyfriend was so sweet and attentive that day. I caught the bouquet, and the whole day was beautiful.
My Goal: I would like to have a relationship where I feel that I am cared for and loved.
Also, when I crossed the finish like to the 3K I finished last March.
My Goal: To run a 3K on March 12th in less than 23 mins.
* I will run 3 times a week following C25K.
• If your life had a highlight reel, what would be on it?
My high school days of running track and cross country . We had a tradition on the cross country team that on the night we played the next county, rival team, we would run the football to the game. I ran 16 miles. The entire way. Various other races where I attained my personal bests. Moments when I was important and necessary in my nieces lives, becoming a mother, caring for my kids, receiving my Associates and my Bachelors degree, times when I helped others.
• What kind of difference would you like to make that would benefit others?
I am poor. For years I have thought I am so poor, that there isn’t much that I can do to make the world a better place. I was wrong. I found a cause “Operation Christmas Child” that brings Christmas and Jesus’ message to children in other countries that otherwise have nothing. You fill a shoebox with toys, clothes, books, and necessities (Such as toothbrushes, toothpaste, combs, washcloths, etc.) and OCC takes them to to her countries bringing to the children the story of Christ and Christmas. For a few simple dollars you can make a child’s dream come true. (If you have never heard or seen this, look on youtube.com for videos of the gifts being delivered. It’s amazing to watch the joy a simple shoebox brings these children.)
My Goal: Have 12 shoeboxes ready to send to OCC by November 2011, and have the $60 it will cost to ship them, saved.
My Goal: Visit www.Makeachildsmile.com monthly and send at least 3 children cards.
My being overweight affects others. My children over the years picked up my poor nutrition habits. If I die at a young age because I am obese, my children will have no one to care for them.
My Goal: I will decrease my weight by a total of 82 pounds by October 30, 2011.
*I will obtain healthy eating habits and fitness habits.
*I will workout for 30 mins 5x’s a week.
* I will track my calories DAILY recording everything I eat.
* I will lose twenty pounds by February 28, 2011.
*I will run a 3K on March 12, 2011.
*I will run a 5K by April 2011.
*I will lose 40 pounds by April 30, 2011.
*I will lose 60 pounds by July 30, 2011.
*I will run a 5K by September 2011.
*I will lose 80 pounds by September 30, 2011.
There... That's a start!
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