Thursday, April 11, 2013
My biggest problem inhibiting me on my journey to lose weight and get healthy? Motivation. I simply lack it. It's not that I don't want to lose the weight badly enough, I just can't seem to find the motivation. Ever. I always seem to find an excuse, when in reality, there is none. Not for every single day that is.
I commute an hour to work and I'm NOT, never have been, a morning person. I have to be at work at 7:30. My alarm is set for 5:45. I'm lucky if I'm out of bed before 6:05. So basically, no, I don't want to fit my workouts in in the morning. I hated my time in the Army for robbing me of my precious sleep, and they forced me to work out in the mornings. Not just work out, but most days run a few miles.
When I get home I'm just flat tired. I have an office job, but that does not mean I'm not tired. I deal with customers (soldiers) all day long. When I get home it's time to take the dogs out. It's time for dinner. It's time to clean up after dinner. It's time to let the dogs out again. It's time to get things ready for work in the morning.
In order to start feeling human again, I've gotten back on track with taking my vitamins, as long as we eat dinner at the table. The nights we eat in the living room, forget it. I put them in a weekly pill bottle every Sunday. But if they are not sitting in front of me when I sit down for dinner, I simply cannot remember to take them. I take a prenatal vitamin, vitamin c, cranberry pills, potassium citrate, and lately I've started taking maca root, although I usually take that one in the morning along with my allegra-d. Why don't I take the others in the morning? Because the prenatal makes me queasy if I don't eat. I don't eat until I get to work. Maybe there's my answer. Bring my vitamins to work!
So, why do I take what I take? I'll blog about that tomorrow. You don't want to read a book today, do you?
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Things have been going much better between the hubby and I. He has been much more attentive to me and spending less time on his computer. In fact, he didn't even get online last night. I have been happy to have him spending more time with me lately so much that I haven't pushed my luck by asking about the other chick. Last night we talked about it a little bit and he actually told me that he did finally tell her she needed to back off. I told him it wasn't the fact that he was trying to be a friend to her, just that she had intentionally led me to believe there was more and that he didn't seem to be concerned enough to tell her to back off with that. I told her she needed to back off, but until she heard it from him she didn't want to, or think she had to. Thankfully he did finally tell her, and so far she is honoring his wishes.
Her husband, on the other hand... My husband has told me that her husband keeps texting him from random numbers. The first day, he sent the text pretending to be her, saying she lost her contacts and was asking who it was. He never said, just replied with LOL. Because how would she have had my husband's number if she lost her contacts? Then yesterday he told me the guy tried to ask him stuff to see who he was. My husband didn't respond this time so the guy called him, but he didn't answer. So I'm very happy to see that he is taking a step away from all their drama and keeping our lives sane.
A part of me does feel sorry for her, especially now seeing how her husband is behaving, because I've been there. But it was not okay for her to cause a rift between my husband and I the way she did. I keep thinking she chose the wrong person to confide in. I myself have been in 2 very bad relationships, the first mentally abusing and controlling, and the second even worse. Basically I could relate to her better. But I honestly think she was trying to find someone that was actually willing to physically help her out of her situation. I know my husband would not have left me for that purpose, but by not telling her straight out he was leading her on in a way. She knew she had upset me and she knew I didn't want him talking to her anymore. Since he kept talking to her, she assumed she was getting her way. I'm so glad he finally set her straight.
In a way this has actually brought us closer. He saw how very upset I got and I think it made him realize just how much I do care for him. He feels bad that he hurt me like that. He's made more of an effort to spend time with me and be more affectionate. I realized that maybe I wasn't giving him enough attention as well. I've made more of an effort to keep up with the house, even though I still hurt a lot. We've rekindled the spark in the bedroom as well. So in the end I think we're all the more stronger from it. That does not mean I ever want our relationship tested like this again though!
Monday, April 08, 2013
As you all know my husband and I are having a few problems. Mainly due to him keeping his female friend who has caused problems around. Well over the week it was rough. I had a hard time keeping my temper in check and that didn't help matters any.
Into the weekend things started looking up. He had to work most of the day Saturday. To try and keep my mind off things I thoroughly cleaned the house. I even cleaned the couch where Lobo likes to sleep (drool) on it during the day while we're both working. I also steam cleaned the floors. I'll tell you what, even though it leaks a little, I love the steam mop from Bissell! I also did all the laundry, including his. He normally does his own laundry. He actually spent most of the evening with me. I don't even think he was on the computer for an hour. Normally I didn't mind, but it got to where he was spending more and more time on there. It used to be we got home, had dinner together, then we both spent about an hour on the computer before settling in for some quality time together. I'm hoping this week we'll be back on that schedule again.
Sunday was a good day too. He didn't spend hardly any time at all on the computer, unless he got on when I took a nap thanks to a migraine. We even worked out in the yard for a little bit together. We had some time to reconnect I think and that's probably what we needed. Funny thing is, on Friday I was upset because he didn't want to go away for a night with me. Turned out we had that time I wanted at home after all. I think he finally realizes why I was so upset and that I really need him to be there for me. I think we're going to be okay. At least I really hope so!
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