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Rough Week, Better Weekend

Monday, April 08, 2013

As you all know my husband and I are having a few problems. Mainly due to him keeping his female friend who has caused problems around. Well over the week it was rough. I had a hard time keeping my temper in check and that didn't help matters any.

Into the weekend things started looking up. He had to work most of the day Saturday. To try and keep my mind off things I thoroughly cleaned the house. I even cleaned the couch where Lobo likes to sleep (drool) on it during the day while we're both working. I also steam cleaned the floors. I'll tell you what, even though it leaks a little, I love the steam mop from Bissell! I also did all the laundry, including his. He normally does his own laundry. He actually spent most of the evening with me. I don't even think he was on the computer for an hour. Normally I didn't mind, but it got to where he was spending more and more time on there. It used to be we got home, had dinner together, then we both spent about an hour on the computer before settling in for some quality time together. I'm hoping this week we'll be back on that schedule again.

Sunday was a good day too. He didn't spend hardly any time at all on the computer, unless he got on when I took a nap thanks to a migraine. We even worked out in the yard for a little bit together. We had some time to reconnect I think and that's probably what we needed. Funny thing is, on Friday I was upset because he didn't want to go away for a night with me. Turned out we had that time I wanted at home after all. I think he finally realizes why I was so upset and that I really need him to be there for me. I think we're going to be okay. At least I really hope so!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOBOSMOMMA 4/8/2013 11:07AM

    Thanks ladies. I think he's starting to realize that his friend is bad news.

Comment edited on: 4/8/2013 11:08:25 AM

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LEAH43138 4/8/2013 10:16AM

    Glad to hear that you had some time with you husband over the weekend. Hope it keeps getting better.

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CAALAN23 4/8/2013 9:46AM

    At least that sounds like he's trying, that's good right? I hope it all works out.

Tina

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KJELLYBEAN15 4/8/2013 9:10AM

    Hoping the weekend was what you both needed. Sending you my prayers.

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PICKIE98 4/8/2013 9:05AM

    Best of luck dear. I agree with you about respecting you enough to drop the woman.

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Rotten Weekend

Monday, April 01, 2013

So this weekend was not good. At all. A female friend of my husband's hinted around to me that she's leaving her husband for my husband. Now don't get me wrong, I trust my husband and know it isn't true, at least on his part. But I have a huge problem that he doesn't want to cut ties with her. He says she's just a friend and she isn't going to cause problems. I keep telling him she's already caused the problem. To me it feels like he is choosing her friendship over our marriage. He says it's not but I can't help but feel that way and he doesn't get it. So needless to say I am not backing down on this one. There's no way I can get over this if she's still around. This is someone he went to high school with and only recently got back in touch with, so it's not like it's a close friend he's had all these years along. I was skeptical of her to begin with, but I gave her a chance. All she did was prove to me that I was right not to trust her. I don't understand why he can't see that. We fought, and I cried, over this all weekend. I was just getting back to starting to feel normal again. But this on top of all the other issues that I've not completely dealt with, pushed me over the edge. I lost my temper. Big time. And now today I'm sick. Ugh!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOBOSMOMMA 4/3/2013 4:14PM

    Thanks ladies. He's still refusing to cut ties with her because "she's going through a hard time right now and needs a friend" So I'm really trying to understand. But I keep going back to the thought that if she really was his friend, she would not have done this. I still wish he'd delete her, but a TINY part of me understands as far as her needing someone. But why does it have to be MY husband?!

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RONDARC 4/1/2013 3:41PM

    emoticon

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PMRUNNER 4/1/2013 2:27PM

    Hugs! Hope he comes around!

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KJELLYBEAN15 4/1/2013 2:02PM

    I am so sorry. I wish I had some wonderful words of comfort for you but I don't know what to say. My husband and I had something similar happen to us many, many years ago. It's hard to think how significant it was when we were experiencing it. What the both of you do now could very well break this relationship. I totally understand where you are and you have every right to be there (!!!) but dont push too much. It just might push him out the door. I will pray for you and your relationship. Much love.

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Today = FAIL

Friday, March 29, 2013

So today my energy is low, my cravings are high, and it's that time of the month. Needless to say I caved and got a candy bar this morning. I'm still nursing the soda from yesterday. But at least I managed to find a healthier alternative for lunch than the McDonald's chicken nuggets I was craving. And I won't lie, I didn't get them because the line at the drive-thru was too long! But I'm not going to beat myself up over it too much. I've been doing pretty good up until the last two days. I'll just work harder to control the cravings over the weekend and into next week.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEAH43138 3/29/2013 5:40PM

    Trying not to give into cravings is really hard to do. I struggle from it too.

You will get back on track over the weekend.
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CAALAN23 3/29/2013 2:26PM

    Cravings have hit me hard today too. Office always has some kind of candy available and I indulged. At least they were mini but the only thing keeping me from grabbing like 12 is people seeing me do it. ;)

We can have a fabulous healthy weekend. :)
Tina

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Oh! My Aching Back!

Thursday, March 28, 2013

At some point while working at my last job, I hurt my back. I dealt with it for two weeks before I did anything about it. Partly because I was thinking I'd just overdone it a little and would be feeling fine in a few days. Partly in fear of being fired because of it, since I did get hurt on the job. I didn't have money for the doctor at the time, since I wasn't even working 20 hours per week. My husband's boss had insurance for me, but with a $30 doctor copay and $15 for prescription, I didn't have the money. So I had them file a worker's comp claim on me. Something I'd never done before, and never would have thought I'd do. But when it comes to back pain, you can only ignore it for so long.

The doctor drug tested me before he would do anything else for me. Then I had x-rays done and nothing seemed wrong. Nothing cracked or broken anyway. Although I honestly believe something was pinched. He prescribed me some steroids and some good pain meds and sent me on my way. I'm glad I went when I did, because by the time I got home from the doctor that night I was hurting way worse. I went home, took my meds, and crawled into bed. I woke up in the middle of the night, and I absolutely could not get out of bed. My husband leaves for work early, so I didn't wake him. He found me half way to the edge of the bed when he woke up. He helped me up and helped me to the wall so I could walk myself to the bathroom. Then he took all my pillows and blanket to the living room where I camped out on the couch for the next few days. Eventually I felt better.

But every since then... Every once in awhile my back will start bothering me again. Nothing like when I hurt it, but it still hurts me enough. Enough that I can't bend over. Enough that we went to a bowling party, and I just watched. I suck at bowling, but I enjoy it. But for fear of causing more pain, I watched. With my new job I now have my own insurance. Pretty good as for as medical coverage. Not so much for prescriptions though. So I'm thinking it's time to go have a visit with a chiropractor. I went once a week when I was in the Army. Granted it was for hip pain, but still. I got out of the Army in 2007 and haven't seen a chiropractor since, so I guess I'm well overdue for a visit. I went once a month for a few years prior to joining the Army also. When I had insurance that covered it at least.

Prior to hurting my back on the job, I had discovered the joys of a Nintendo Wii. I'd heard so much about them that I decided I wanted one. I found one of those online catalogs that let you pay as you go, and by golly I got myself an awesome Christmas present! I was considering getting Zumba, but instead I hesitantly bought the first Just Dance game. Oh my gosh, I loved it! Now don't get me wrong, I'm a white girl with no rhythm, and you wouldn't catch me in public dancing unless I'm drinking, which I don't do. But dangit I loved that game! I now have 1, 2, and 3. If my back ever lets me get back to it, I will buy 4 also. I cannot wait to start feeling better so I can get back to them. If you love music, and love making a fool out of yourself in the comforts of your own home, I highly recommend the Just Dance games! I definitely got a workout from them!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOBOSMOMMA 3/30/2013 6:10PM

    The worker's comp doctor released me after 3 weeks because I was feeling better, and I no longer work with that company, so...

But I did get a letter from the VA today telling me to make an initial appointment to get set up with a primary care doctor. I tried to get benefits when I first got out in 2007 but got nowhere. Tried again when I started my new job in January and this time it looks like I got somewhere. So maybe they can help me with my back.

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LEAH43138 3/29/2013 6:19PM

    I know what you mean about dancing as a workout. I have zumba and i love it. I only do it in front of my family because i can't dance :) but i have fun.

If it still feels like it is pinching in your back you might want them to do a MRI. My husband hurt his back in the military and after he retired out he tried to get them to figure out what was wrong instead of providing him with drugs. After only doing xrays he made them do an MRI and that is when the found the pinched nerve along with bulging disk and fractured disk. So if you feel something is wrong keep on them. That is why they have workers comp.

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LOBOSMOMMA 3/28/2013 6:03PM

    Thanks for the tip! I'm not sure the furkids would give me a peaceful enough moment for that though! I have been doing some stretching and am thinking of giving yoga a try.

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NICKYCRANE 3/28/2013 5:26PM

    I sympathise as a fellow sufferer. Actually SP has more or less cured my back. If I feel it now, I know I need to take it easy. The one time I had it so bad I let them give me an injection (after which I had a sore bottom for the next month!), I was lying on the floor. 2 aged deaconnesses (Lutheran nuns, approximately) came in with armfuls of cushions, and told me to lie flat on the floor with my feet and calves on the sofa, with my knees at right angles and my calves parallel to the floor. I can't remember what they did with the cushions. Maybe supported my arms so I could read comfortably. I was very dubious about the likely value of the experiment, but was so desperate I was willing to try anything. I had a good book. After about 45 minutes the pain was so much better, I felt like a new person! The Germans call it Stufenlage. The Swiss go to clinics to do it. I asked why they didn't do it at home. My friend said: Because they are too lazy! Without wanting to accuse the Swiss of being lazy, they probably tend to be the opposite, it may be easy not to do something so simple at home. It's a good way of relaxing anyway. I think they recommend 10 minutes of it. I did about 45 mins the first time and it set me on the road to recovery. You need a blanket to keep warm, and a pillow under your head and possibly under your arms makes reading much more comfortable. I think you might find it worth a try!

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Just Too Much

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

As I've mentioned, I've had a lot going on this past year. It was a tough one for me. I may go into detail about the different situations at some point, but for now I'll just kind of give a brief summary.

In February 2012, I got diagnosed with Bell's Palsy. I'd had it before, but before was very mild compared to this time around. This time it caused me to miss a week off work simply because I couldn't drive. My left eye would not stay closed and it put strain on my right eye which is already my weak eye. This made it hard for me to see so I wasn't able to drive. I also had a very droopy mouth on the left side, and my left nostril felt glued shut. Have I recovered? Not completely, but it's much less noticeable now at least.

In March 2012, I finally started back to school after taking half a year off. It wasn't the same and I didn't like it so I dropped my classes. The school didn't notify the VA. Caused me all kinds of debts and trouble that I'm still trying to get straigtened out.

With my going back to school I also cut my hours back at work to weekends only. When I wanted to get my hours back, I wasn't able to. Begged for months and still no luck. So now we're talking financial strain. Strain on me and on my husband. Luckily he supported me without grumbling too much, but it still put a strain on us.

At some point over the summer, my mom fell and broke her hip. She had surgery and was in the hospital for a few weeks, then another few months in the nursing home afterwards. I never got to go see her. She's home now, but I still haven't been able to make the trip to see her. I'm thinking of going in May when I get an extra paycheck.

In October, I found out a dear friend of mine got killed. Shot and killed by her abusive husband she was trying to leave. Shot by him then staged to look like she shot herself. Then he left with a friend and didn't even report it until the next morning. They arrested him, but last I heard he was out on bail. Talk about a boiling over pot of emotions that came along with that. I'm still simmering...

In Novemeber, my oldest sister passed away. She had been in and out of the hospital for years. She had been in the hospital for over a year this last time. I knew she was in bad shape. I just could not make it down to see her. I really wish I had found a way to.

In December I finally found a new job. Keep in mind I'd been searching since early spring. Only after begging for more hours a month before I started looking. Some good news, and relief, finally.

In January 2013, I started my new job. My last day at my old job was bittersweet. I had been working in home health care and had a few clients I had gotten close to. One I had been assigned to the whole 1.5 years I was with that company. She passed away the following weekend. Thankfully her daughter called me and told me. The company surely didn't.

So now you have an idea of the chaos I was trying to make sense of. My husband's a good man, but he did not help me very well emotionally. I felt like I had nobody to talk to. I think I went through a time of mild depression also.

But I've gotten back on my vitamins, I've found an herbal supplement that seems to be helping, and I'm starting to feel like myself again.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOBOSMOMMA 3/27/2013 7:47PM

    Thanks to all of you for the encouraging words.

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LEAH43138 3/27/2013 2:35PM

    I am sorry about all the loss and struggle you have been through.
You are a strong person. You have been through so much that would normally break a person but you didn't give up, you kept on pushing. Glad that it is turning around for you.

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AURORAMILLET 3/27/2013 2:25PM

    Wow! I can see that you have been through ALOT! I could not even begin to imagine having to go through all of that. I can only imagine how strong you must be to be able to manage.

Take on eday at a time and make the most of it.

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KJELLYBEAN15 3/27/2013 2:21PM

    Wow. You sure have had your challenges and strains this past year. I really don't know what to say other than whenever you feel alone, seek comfort in the support you know you can get from your friends here. And dont ever forget that your Lord Jesus Christ is there with you, holding onto you at all times. He feels your pains. He will comfort you during all trials. I hope you can see your mom soon. You never know when it might be the last time.

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