Tuesday, October 01, 2013
I am feeling very lazy, unmotivated and frustrated.
No, wait. That is not entirely true.
I am motivated. I am tired of feeling sluggish. I am tired of having difficult breathing (what's up with this asthma like sensation?). I am not happy with the way I look in my clothing. I am exhausted and out of breath when I walk up the three flights of stairs daily.
When I had my foot surgery in 2012, I was irritated that I couldn't run. Now I am irritated because although I WANT to run, I don't. I make excuses-too late, too much construction dust, too heavy of a flow this week, too iron deficient. How can I do cardio and strength training if I feel uncomfortable?
Bleh. Bleh. Bleh.
I look at my husband. He needs to get in shape. Between coaching kid's volleyball and work, settling into our new house, and family obligations his health club membership is going unused. I have a FREE membership and am not going as well due to excuses. Why can't we be each other's example? We are both in the same mindset...
We will go out for walks either before or after dinner on the rare weekdays that we are home together with no obligations calling our names for 30 minutes. Weekends as well-but who would have thought being a "weekend warrior" means going for a stroll???
I need to dump the Blehs. I can do leg lifts and squats while brushing my teeth-that's twice a day! I can continue to make healthy food choices in order to stop my waist from growing. I can start to work back to jogging and running by actually DOING it when we are walking-he'll be willing, I'm sure.
I am already in the process in making sure I am medically able to proceed. It is very unusual for me to feel as lethargic as I have been. My stress levels are back to normal, we will check my thyroid and I am supplementing my iron levels as they are in the toilet. If I find out it's just that I'm getting "old and lazy" that's fixable. Any medical issue is fixab le as well if I know what I'm treating.
In the meantime, guess I'll just get moving. Don't know if I'll be on often as I find I spend more time online browsing and reading than exercising and logging (although I am standing and doing leg lifts while typing this). But I'm back. Again. The plan is every time I get down, get back up.
Hope all are well!!
Monday, March 26, 2012
So, this is why I have to change my focus. Don't know why my picture posted upside down :)
For the last few weeks after making the appointment for my "elective" bunion surgery and repositioning of my second toe (which was dislocated due to the bunion) I have been pushing myself to get out and run. I would see people running outside in our very unusual 70 degree March weather, and decide "I need to go before I can't do that anymore!" Unfortunately, I realized that every time I ran outside even a short distance, my foot began to hurt worse than normal. It became painful to even stand after a 12 hour shift at work; I realized that my "elective" surgery just became "necessary". I reluctantly stopped running about one week prior to Friday in order to decrease pain and swelling. I actually felt jealous when I would see someone running by,wishing I could go. I'm not proud, but I stuck my tongue out at my husband when he took off for our usual neigborhood 5K route and came back and told me "only 30 minutes!".
The surgery went well; I had some extra bleeding but little pain. I do have swelling, I do have to sleep in this stupid boot, and I am tired of sitting (I swear I can hear my behind spreading as I type this). I have to go back to work in three more days and I'm not looking forward to attempting to maneuver, perform physical exams and explain to my walk in clinic patients why I'm at work. But this boot and I need to make friends because we're gonna be attached for the next 3 to 3 1/2 weeks. We don't have to like each other, we just have to tolerate each other.
Now I have to change my focus. I am cognizant of my desire to get out and run. I need to celebrate that my husband is still getting out and exercising. I still can do upper body, and if I'm careful I can do full range of leg lifts with this 10 lb. weight on my left foot. Now I have to figure out how to adjust my eating habits so I don't gain, and pump up the exercise with the upper body and I'll be back to the trails in no time.
Hope all my Sparkfriends are moving it-I'm still cheering you on albeit from the sidelines!!
Monday, January 23, 2012
I realized it has been more than one month since I last blogged. So much has happened since then, but so much feels the same. I haven't changed one inch for better or worse; haven't lost or gained more than the same five pounds despite holiday eating and having flu AND stomach flu in the last month. Where do I begin?
First, I haven't been tracking. Mostly because there's not much to track. My workouts have been sporadic, with most of them being major housecleaning in order to keep the rest of the family contracting what we're calling "the Hollywood cleanse" at work. That's how I lost 5 lbs. and got a flat stomach, but not in a good way. Luckily nobody else caught it. The downside is that since I had the flu in November, it has seriously affected my energy level and my ability to run. I feel like I need to start back on week one of Couch to 5K as my endurance (which was not good to start with) is even worse. The gastro last weekend did not help either. My food intake was minimal, but now is back to healthy. My water intake stinks. My exercise output is sporadic. But I'm working on it.
Second, I've been experiencing life. Just started a new job right before the holidays; and I feel VERY blessed that I have not just one but two jobs lined up. I took this job knowing what it entailed and that it wasn't what I wanted, but didn't expect to have the second job which is EXACTLY what I was looking for fall into my lap quite so quickly. The current job is still 12 hour days, which I didn't want, and every other weekend. The duties are what I expected (but knew I wouldn't be happy with for long). The new job will start in March, with stable hours, no weekends or holidays and a great teaching/learning environment which will allow me to practice the skill set I went to school for. Until then, I have days where my exercise is standing/sitting/walking continuously for 4-5 hours at a time and come home mentally exhausted and starving. Not much to track, not much to say. But, I'm making the most of it-it's a blessing to get paid for this work and my coworkers are very supportive and friendly.
Third, I think this is the first time in about a month that I've been on an actual laptop computer instead of on my dumbphone. I refuse to blog from there; the most I can do from that screen is "like" someone's friend feed status. It does make me feel disconnected from my spark family and I've tried to keep up with blogs but it's just too difficult. Trying to learn things to prepare for my new NEW job, trying to finish orientation from my first new job and keeping up with paperwork is too much for me. Something's gotta give and if I have a choice between getting 10 minutes in for exercise or reading rather than typing, I will.
Hope all my Spark Friends are getting to their goals. I hope to read all about it soon. I am 50/50 with my resolutions about journaling daily on paper before bed, getting my reading for work equal to my reading for pleasure, and getting my water in (worst at goal EVER!!). I'll get there.
Miss you all!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Looking at my page on my computer today instead of on my dumbphone, I realized it had been OVER one month since I blogged. So, to keep current and explain myself, here it is.
In the last month (since the week before Thanksgiving) I have: quit my staff nursing job, gotten the flu despite my flu shot, started orientation on my new nurse practitioner job, have set up multiple interviews for the job I REALLY want, and taken care of my DH after his surgery. Notice there's not a lot in there about running or strength training.
I have run a total of twice. I do pushups or situps when I actually get to sit in front of the television for 1/2 hour to decompress before bed. At my current new job, I am standing or walking for 9-10 hours a day which my poor foot is not used to unless it's exercising. One downside is that it's very dry in the office and we can't have food or drink there, so every day I fight to get my water in (not winning that one!) and it takes a day or two for my skin to recover. The only thing that's kept on track is that I can track my food from my phone.
I am blessed to have the opportunity for two jobs with my new career. The job I have was one that I was not exited to take, but it is a good way to ease into my new career and gives me confidence in my practice. The job that is kinda falling into my lap is a primary care office in an independent group that I will be forging the way for with a great doctor. It is close to home, flexible hours, good staff and company and a great learning experience that I can see myself growing with until retirement. I was very conflicted about the timing, but am an advocate of "whatever is meant to happen will work out". So, hopefully my next update will be before February when I will start the next chapter of my career.
Hope all my sparkfriends are doing well. I do check my Friend Feed and can read some blogs, but it's tough to comment sometimes due to phone limitations. I miss you all and hope you are on track this holiday! (ps no shopping done yet either-gotta get running!)
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