Thursday, May 07, 2009
If you havenít, you should!!
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. No kidding. I ran my fitness reports today and the changes over time are amazing. I started with SP on 12/1/08, and am proud to report that I did not log any exercise that entire month. Mind you, I always exercised but who knows what I was thinking in THOSE days. I must have thought that changing my diet would justify skipping exercise an entire month.
In the last couple of months however, I have really ramped things up. The report looks busy, full of little dots. Isnít it amazing what changes we can precipitate in such a short time? Need I say more?
Monday, May 04, 2009
Beware: I am starting this week in a funk. This is supposed to be my ďI feel sorry for myselfĒ blog. Despite all of the weight I have lost, I find myself looking in the mirror amazed at how fat I still am. I see the change in my clothes but the weight is still all there. Perception is a funny thing; a while ago I wrote about not seeing how fat I was in the mirror and being taken by surprise every time I looked at a picture of myself. Is this a transformation? Am I surfacing out of a lifelong trance?
I have struggled with weight my entire life. There are many endearing terms my family used when calling me. They ranged from Chubb Chubb and Chubby Dear to Pudgy in multiple languages. They were never derogatory or used in a bad way so I never minded. Who knows, this could come back as a repressed issue to be dealt with in years to come. Then again, it appears to be surfacing now. The point is that Iíve been dealing with this my whole life. I am so tired of being identified by my weight. There, I said it!!
There is more to me than being an overweight person. Why do all conversations have to revolve around my weight? How much have I lost, how much have I gained, what size do I wear, how much do I eat, what do I eat? Why canít it be about the last book I read, the latest news in the world, the last vacation I took, or anything else? I remember my father telling me I needed to lose weight while we were in a bakery buying sweets. My mother and I were always on one diet or another. My entire life was defined by food and that is before I moved to the US and really gained weight. I was chubby before; when I moved here I gained 25 pounds in 3 months and that was in high school. I have been yo-yoing up and down aver since.
I donít think I know how to deal with weight loss. I see my weight struggle as an inevitable part of life and whoís to say that this time is any different? What will we talk about if my weight is no longer an issue?
Food for thought! (Pun intended)
Sunday, May 03, 2009
1. 10,000 steps a day
2. 250 minutes of cardio this week
Sunday- 50 minutes
Monday- 35 minutes
Tuesday- 65 minutes
Wednesday- 45 minutes
3. Strength training every day.
4. One South Beach Phase 1 day.
5. Write a blog 5 times this week
6. Lose 2 pounds
7. Read at least 20 pages daily
Thursday - met
8. Yoga one night this week
9. No more than one serving of cheese a day
10. Beans for protein at least 5 meals this week.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Why is it that we always want what we donít have? I was pondering this in the dressing room of the lingerie department of a department store. There was a bra sale and it was obviously a wrong time to go bra shopping.
I dread shopping for bras. The stores are always filled with racks and racks of cute frilly things that could not even hold up cotton balls. Back in the corner somewhere hidden against the wall of shame, are the matronly looking bras for those of us who actually need to wear them all the time- preferably even to bed. There are typically 3 choices in 3 colors- and thatís it.
Any way, back to the bra sale: I took the meager selection available to me into the dressing room where total pandemonium ruled. There were bras on the floor, hanging over doors, flying through the air and women everywhere. I finally managed to get into a fitting room and started trying on bras. Well, as I was squeezing into minimizer bras, everyone around me was working on augmentation with wonderbras. What a paradox!!
It appears everyone but Louisa came bra shopping in pairs.
ďI think I should try the padding for a C cup.Ē One woman told her friend. In the dressing room next door, I was dreaming of minimizing down to a C cup. Sigh!
ďCould you see if this comes in a 32 A. The B-cup is too big.Ē This conversation took place on the other side of me. Double Sigh! Why even buy a bra?
I try minimizer number 2 which essentially minimizes by spreading everything evenly all over your body. Yup, so you minimize in one place and gain in other places. This is just pathetic.
As I am struggling with my bras and listening to the other women struggle with theirs, I have to laugh. We are all so fickle. We straighten our hair when itís curly and perm it when itís straight. We wish we had smaller hips while others wish for a smaller waist. Someone else is always luckier because they donít struggle with our fatal flaws.
Well, I bought my much needed bras and left the battlefield filled with women and bras behind me. I reminded myself that I am lucky to be healthy and that is really all to worry about. Forget about the flaws, theyíre a part of me and always will be.
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