LLCURTS   88,704
SparkPoints
80,000-99,999 SparkPoints
 
 
LLCURTS's Recent Blog Entries

7 reasons not to mess with children. ;-)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

7 reasons not to mess with children.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. 'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

Have a great day and listen to your children - you just may learn something... emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAVAJO47 1/18/2010 9:37AM

    These are hilarious. Coming from an entire family of teachers, I have GOT to pass this one onto them. Thanks for the laugh :) emoticon emoticon emoticon

Jo Ann

Report Inappropriate Comment
SIMPLE_TAILOR 1/17/2010 9:16PM

    Way too cute . . .

Thanks for sharing!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
THE_SILVER_OWL 1/17/2010 8:19PM

    Thank you for my laugh of the day. Children are such a gift, and wise far beyond their years! ~JJ~
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BENDER7 1/17/2010 7:30PM

    Loved it! Thanks for sharing it. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LORETTA24 1/17/2010 7:21PM

    I am a teacher for Kindergarten and First Grade at a Christian school. I am so laughing out loud over your blog! I will be sharing this for certain. Keep smiling sunshine! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOVETOPLAY2 1/17/2010 5:18PM

    Cute!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Women over 50

Friday, January 15, 2010

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 50.

As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest.. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THE_SILVER_OWL 1/17/2010 8:21PM

    Hilarious! This made my day! ~JJ~

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEWAGAIN 1/16/2010 2:40PM

    I LOVE this!! hahahahaha

Report Inappropriate Comment
TERI99 1/16/2010 2:15PM

    Thank you! This really brightened my day. And to think such wisdom came from a MAN!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GABY1948 1/15/2010 9:04PM

    I have seen it but love it so much I could read it every day! Thanks for sharing.
Gaye

Report Inappropriate Comment
LENNIEBINO 1/15/2010 8:01PM

  I did miss this on 60 Minutes. I certainly enjoyed reading it. Thank you!

Report Inappropriate Comment


I'll start again on Monday

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The truth that hit me was " this isn't you, you were made for more than this!"
This could be the motivation I need when I don't feel like it - or want just one more, and one more, etc... we all make choices - always choices are to be made - it is as simple as saying yes - or - no ...

check this article out - and have a greater day! emoticon emoticon

Read Encouragement for Today daily devotional for Christian women from Proverbs 31 Ministries. Free online daily Bible devotions from Lysa TerKeurst, LeAnn Rice and Renee Swoop for today's Christian woman.

www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/encour
agement/

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GABY1948 1/14/2010 7:46PM

    Thank you so much for this! I shall remember that I was made for more! When I was first saved in 1994 I clung to Proverbs 3:5-8 for life...perhaps it is time for me to go back to that one! What a wonderful devotional.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GUSSYLYNN72 1/14/2010 4:09PM

    Thank you so much for sharing that. It makes sense though. Im going to check out the site more thoroughly. Have a blessed day.

Report Inappropriate Comment
THE_SILVER_OWL 1/14/2010 3:55PM

    The devotional has such a wonderful message. Thank you for sharing it with us. I too feel that I was made for more. This has really got me thinking today...~JJ
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOCELTICSGO 1/14/2010 1:05PM

    Monday is a holiday!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Snowman Funnies

Saturday, December 19, 2009



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIAJOEB 12/29/2009 10:36AM

    have a great day

Report Inappropriate Comment
LORETTA24 12/19/2009 11:17PM

    This certainly put a smile on my face! Thank you for sharing! Keep smiling Sunshine! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BEVPRESLEY 12/19/2009 9:44PM

    Cute! Thanks for the chuckle.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BARNABABY1 12/19/2009 8:27PM

    So cute! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NH_MOM 12/19/2009 6:42PM

    Thanks for the funnies!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GABY1948 12/19/2009 5:45PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HINOTO 12/19/2009 5:41PM

    haha those are great!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KITTYSPARK 12/19/2009 5:39PM

    I enjoyed it. Thank you. cute. Liz

Report Inappropriate Comment
SMASHKIWI 12/19/2009 5:21PM

    Too cute!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Touching Christmas Story

Friday, December 18, 2009

Touching story of Godís Faithfulness

In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two. Their father was gone.

Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared. Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds. He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries..

Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either. If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it.

I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job. The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town. No luck. The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince who ever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job. Still no luck.

The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truck stop. It was called the Big Wheel. An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night.

I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal.

That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel. When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money-- fully half of what I averaged every night.

As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage. The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.

One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires! There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires. Had angels taken up residence in Indiana ? I wondered. I made a deal with the local service station. In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires.

I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough. Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids.
I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys. Then I hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning. Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.

On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel.
There were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe. A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up.

When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes.

I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat. Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10!
I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans.
Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes.
There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries.
There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes.
There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour.
There was whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items.
And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.

As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the most amazing
Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude. And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.

Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December and they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop....

I hope you enjoy this as much as I did - moral to the story - GOD IS FAITHFUL and will continue to meet our needs!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND MAY HE MEET YOUR NEEDS THIS CHRISTMAS!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLE_TAILOR 12/18/2009 3:55PM

    I have seen this several times and I still tear up a bit when I read it.

Thanks for passing it again.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BARNABABY1 12/18/2009 2:33PM

    That was beautiful!

Report Inappropriate Comment
COLEENCOLE 12/18/2009 9:21AM

    I am crying. Lovely.

Report Inappropriate Comment
IBLEVNHIM 12/18/2009 7:24AM

    I watched a Christmas movie on T.V. last week with this story line(can't remember the name of it) and I must say, it was the best movie of all! Has so much meaning.Thanks for sharing.Merry Christmas.

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 Last Page