Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Hundreds gather in Minnesota to protest global warming...
Saturday, November 07, 2009
REDNECK BABY CHAIR & TEETHING RING
Friday, October 30, 2009
A guy rushed into a service station one day and asked the manager if he'd a pay phone. The manager nodded, "Sure, over there." The guy inserted a couple of coins, dialed and waited for an answer. Finally someone came on the line. "Uh, sir," he said in a deep voice, "could you use an honest, hard-working young man?"
The station manager couldn't help overhearing the question. After a moment or two the guy said, "Oh, you already have an honest, hard-working young man? Well, okay. Thanks all the same." A broad smile stretched across his face. He hung up the phone and started back to his car, obviously elated.
"Hey, just a minute," the station manager said, "I couldn't help but hear your conversation. Why are you so happy? I thought the man said he already had someone and didn't need you?" The guy smiled. "Well, you see, I am that honest, hard-working young man. I was just checking up on myself!"
This is a devotional I received today but find that it is a great CHECK-UP for our HEALTHY LIFESTYLE ATTEMPTS AS WELL!
If you're serious about walking with God, (OR OR SERIOUS ABOUT MAKING HEALTHY CHOICES OF EATING OR EXERCISING) examine yourself regularly. Are you praying, reading God's Word and renewing your mind daily? (OR ARE YOU LEARNING MORE BY READING HEALTHY ARTICLES, CHECKING OUT THE EXERCISE VIDEOS AND DEMOS, POSTING ON YOUR TEAMS, & SEARCHING OUT NEW HEALTHY RECIPES)
How about your attitudes? Are they slipping? Your attitudes send a signal before you've said a word (OR DONE ANYTHING HEALTHY).
They're like traffic lights. Sometimes they flash red, which means 'stop, don't get in my way, I'm too busy to love, help, or care.' (EXERCISE OR PLAN A HEALTHY MEAL)
Sometimes they flash yellow, which means 'I'm touchy and out-of-sorts, I could go either way.' (ARE OUR HEALTHY DECISIONS BASED ON HOW WE FEEL)
Sometimes they flash green, which means, 'Let's go, I'm with you, you can count on me.' (LETS GET IN THE GREEN ZONE) -
What needs to be examined regularly? "OUR WAYS!"
"Let us examine our ways." Lamentations 3:40 NIV
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer!
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs Jones, do you know me? She responded, "Why yes, I do know you, Mr Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two bit paper pusher, Yes I know You."
The lawyer was stunned, not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes I know him."
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, and in a very quite voice said,
"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair!"
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