LLBEAN75   22,349
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Life Update October 2011

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Here's an update on life, exercise and my weight from October 25, 2011! I'm hoping to find some of my old spark friends still active on the site, and/or make new friends!

I took progress pictures last month that are below. This is June 2010, April 2011 and September 2011. The difference from April 2011 to September 2011 is ONLY focusing on nutrition because I was exercise restricted at this point.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAPER_WINGS18 10/30/2011 11:00PM

    Love your vLog, Laura! You look fantastic! I am so thrilled for you! School sounds SO chaotic- I cannot imagine keeping up on SP, blogging on The Odd Duck, and all the other things to do in a day! You are a rockstar!! Glad to see ya on here!

P.S. I totalllly imagined you having a thick southern accent, LOL, so it's nice to be able to hear how you really sound. Maybe when I read your blogs now I will stop reading it in a southern accent in my head. bahaha!


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MIMOTOGO 10/30/2011 2:11PM

    Loved your video blog. Glad your back. It's true, every now and then I will go through my friends and there are so many that are no longer active. Thanks for re-connecting and I hope you have a great and successful week.

emoticon emoticon

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BRANDI87 10/25/2011 11:37PM

    Laura! Soo soo glad to see your post and that you are doing well and getting back to being active after your injury. I'm still here, not doing much sparking with how hectic things get. Things have been crazy on my end as well, moved to Chicago for school (started a Psy.D. program so I will be here a while lol). But I am around as well, so if you ever want to chat or whatever. Hope school keeps you busy ;-) BTW, what would your master's be in if you went for it? Just wondering..internship processes are always hectic and stressful. Ok, no more tangents. So glad you are back emoticon

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PAPPHEM 10/25/2011 10:28PM

    It is great to see you are doing well and almost done with school! I haven't been doing well tracking/ check in on Sparkpeople myself, but I'm still trucking along. But you've got to tell me, have you've managed to get your eating under control and still stay consistent with exercise? I still struggle with this! I do really well eating within my calories or exercising consistently, but I still can't seem to manage both at the same time for long.

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TMONTGOMERY71 10/25/2011 7:52PM

    Hello There! I was so encouraged by your video! Losing 30lbs is soo awesome and you look very healthy in your video! I'm really excited to begin and am happy to see other young women like me investing in themselves! I currently live in Ohio and just moved from Chicago with my husband to save money before traveling the world! I've decided that I can't travel and be active the way I want if I am as overweight/obese as I am so I'm putting in the grunt work and making it happen! I'd like to lose 60-70lbs and reach my BMI. So yeah, let's be friends!

How did you navigate holidays, parties, vacations, etc? I just went to a wedding on Saturday and it was so difficult! haha Especially when other are eating whatever they want. emoticon

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4EVERADONEGIRL 10/25/2011 7:20PM

    Lookin' good, Laura! (But I already know that because I follow The Odd Duck! LOL)

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March 2011 vs. June 2010 - Pictures

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

I've got a huge blog post with the results of my March Challenge up on my wordpress blog. If you want to check it out, the link is below. These pictures are also on the blog if you want to see them larger.


But I did want to post the results pictures here. This is June 2010 vs. tonight.

It's about 15-17 pounds lost. Though right now I am 10 pounds heavier than my lowest of 213 in September 2009, but I'm wearing the same clothes and in fact, some clothes are looser on me now than then. This is because I've been strength training 2-3x a week since the new year started, so I'm building a lot of muscle!

In fact, I only lost 3 pounds in March but I lost a total of 12.25 inches! Most notably -3 inches on my waist!

Even though I'm not as active on spark as I used to be - I'm still here! I log in every day to track my workouts and check on everyone. I am just blogging over at wordpress because it's so much more user friendly and it's difficult to maintain two blogs at the same time. I'm also tracking all of my food on another blog. Here is the link to that in case you are ever wondering what I'm eating/exercising:


I'm doing an April fitness challenge right now (details at the link below). I'm also walking two days a week now in the mornings with Matt for 30 minutes to try to boost the weight loss as much as I can.


I'm feeling really good lately, other than my scale struggles!

How are all of you doing!? I want to hear!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEPPIESUSAN 4/10/2011 1:59PM

    Wow, congrats on your progress, and thanks for sharing the photos! I hadn't realized you use so many different websites to keep track of various things, will go check out your links :)

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FITKITTYMAMA 4/7/2011 3:35PM

    Great progress Laura!!!

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LINDAKAY228 4/7/2011 11:59AM

    The pictures really tell the story! AWESOME!

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4EVERADONEGIRL 4/6/2011 4:40PM

    Your progress shows! YAY!!! Keep it up girl!

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IMSMILEY88 4/6/2011 8:54AM

    So glad you checked in! And, you're looking great! Congrats!

I do a separate blog, too, but it's the one I neglect. emoticon

Yes, I'm still doing my first tri this Sunday! I'm excited & nervous & hope I'm remembering everything.

Take care!

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SARSPARKS25 4/5/2011 11:46PM

    Awesome! Thanks for the pictures!

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TXGRANDMA 4/5/2011 11:07PM

    Good Girl! emoticon

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Greetings from the north pole (aka DFW)

Thursday, February 03, 2011

If you have not heard about the snowpocalypse in DFW right now, you are missing out on some sucky news. It has been one of the worst storms we've had in 15+ years and the entire metroplex has been iced in since Tuesday morning!! The worst part is the Super Bowl is here at the new Cowboys Stadium on Sunday, so superbowl events have been going on all week. And most people haven't even been able to leave their homes! One of our friends from California is here working at the superbowl this week and it's been hell for him to try to get around to all the places he needs to go when most people are able to drive 30mph on the highways!

Schools have been cancelled since Tuesday. A lot of businesses have been closed since Tuesday as well. Yesterday the state of Texas issued rolling power outages to all power customers in Texas because the grids have been overloaded. Yesterday I was without power from 6am-8am and again for about 15 minutes at 9am. This means no heat, so my house was FREEZING yesterday. It was 57 degrees at one point, though it was hovering around 61 degrees most of the time until matt came home from work, built a fire and set up a new space heater he bought! Yesterday I spent most of the day wearing two layers of each type of clothing, huddled under two blankets on the couch and didn't move for hours because I was shaking even under the blankets! Being cold natured definitely didn't help that.

The natural gas providers have shut off all gas service to industrial customers in DFW. That's how serious this weather is!

Today it is supposed to dip into the single digits and we have a chance of snow again tomorrow morning. If you have never been to DFW or are not familiar with the weather here - we get snow maybe twice a year - though once is more like it. And it never sticks. We've had snow on the ground for three days straight now with 1/2" to 1" of ice underneath!

I haven't driven since Monday. The only times I've left the house in the past three days was when Matt drove me to the gym Tuesday night, then he drove me to the post office and the gym yesterday. I've missed all group exercise classes I had planned for this week, plus yoga. The gym is open during the day but closes early each night and my yoga studio has been closed. Tuesday I spent 45 minutes on the elliptical to make up for a spin class missed. Last night we went to Matt's companies gym and he led me though an hour + strength training session since I missed body works yesterday.

Today I'm supposed to be running 5 miles for my 10K re-training, but there is no way that's happening. I can't run outside. I doubt I have the sanity at this point to run 5 miles on a treadmill - but I'm going to the gym later and I'll do my best! The good news is I ran 4.5 miles last week and 5.5 is on the docket for next week - so missing this week's 5 mile won't set me back that much. I'm only going up a mile compared to the 2 miles than many training plans call for.

As far as food goes, I've done surprisingly well. I have been short on my fruit consumption the past two days but I'm working on that today. I made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies on Tuesday and I've been munching away on a few of those instead of eating all the chips, nuts and pretzels in my pantry that I really want to eat. Last night I had two beers after working out. I'm trying to give myself a little lee-way to enjoy some treats while being trapped, because otherwise I'll go nuts and eat everything in the house. I put the cookies in the freezer yesterday, so at least they are out of sight (out of mind!)

That's what is going on here. I haven't done anything for school the past three days which sucks, so I"m going to try to work on some things today. I have stuff due for my online class tomorrow that I must finish!

Overall I'd say I'm doing 150X better during this situation than I have in the past. At least I've gotten in a workout the past 4 days despite the weather and I've still been tracking everything I eat over at the food blog ( ieatirun.wordpress.com ) And hopefully by Saturday the ice will be gone so I can RUN outside again. Boy, that would be nice.

Anyone else iced in? How are YOU handling it?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDAKAY228 2/4/2011 8:31AM

    Here in southern New Mexico we're going through a deep freeze. Yesterday it was -9 with a wind chill of -23. Today it's 1 degree with a windchill of -8. It's a record breaking cold. Our natural gas comes through Texas and the rolling blackouts there reduced the pressure of the natural gas pumps which run on electricity and so many in New Mexico are without natural gas. Fortunately I still have it but part of my town is without. Schools have been closed all over the state to conserve the gas. We only got a little snow but the frigid temps have been horrible. So I empathize with you! The good news is that the ground hog didn't see his shadow on Feb 2nd so supposedly spring will be early! We can hope anyway!

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IMSMILEY88 2/3/2011 7:51PM

    I think I already told you that we are still waiting on snow here in Houston. It should be hitting soon! And, they are saying 3-5 inches in some places. It's been really cold (20's) so it'll actually stick! We've lived here 14 years & it has snowed 3 times and none of it has stuck where we live. So, my daughter is thrilled! And, I'm thankful that it'll be in the 50's on Saturday so I'm guessing it'll melt. Oh, & we don't have anywhere to go so we'll just enjoy!

Glad you are hanging in there. I have family up in Dallas that I should probably check in with! Family in OK & KS, too, who are pretty much snowed in and have been for a couple of days.

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FITKITTYMAMA 2/3/2011 4:56PM

    I think you are doing a great job staying on track under those conditions. I feel so awful for you and for all of my friends in the areas that are getting hit by these ridiculous snow storms. Being a Southern California girl, I would not be able to cope I don't think. Our weather is cooler than normal and very windy, but nothing like what you are experiencing.

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4EVERADONEGIRL 2/3/2011 3:15PM

    You've done a great job staying on track considering! You definitely should be very proud of yourself!!!

I'm in California so we have been pretty mild in comparison; however, it was cold enough this morning for the sprinkler run-off to ice over so I had to be watchful while out in the wee morning hours. But I certainly can't complain...mid 60's and nothing but sun for me for the time being.

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BRANDI87 2/3/2011 2:35PM

    Giiiiirl I know abou that. I'm in Indiana and all of the Universities were closed and all. It started Monday and today was like the first site of life! LOL. We were without power from Monday until last night. It was 40 in our house...holy moly! We ended up staying the last night with a friend because it was too cold. Which equated to horrible eating and no workouts...Grr...Hope it clears up for you soon. I think it'll take a while for all the ice to melt..makes me wish I had ice skates! lol

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KARVY09 2/3/2011 12:03PM

    I'm so sick of the snow, but you're a former New Englander so you should be more hale and hearty than the rest of the folks down there. I'm glad you're trucking through your 10K training though!!!

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January results and February plans

Monday, January 31, 2011

January is over and I logged 1500 fitness minutes!! I cannot believe it. I don't think that I have ever accumulated that many in one month. Also I "burned" over 13,000 calories - but I don't wear my HRM anymore because it's broken, so that is all according to spark. Still - I'll take it.

Keeping up with working out definitely got harder as the month grew longer. As soon as school started in the third week, it started getting more difficult to fit in workouts. However, it's totally manageable - it just requires a little extra motivation and not being lazy on my part. Working out first thing in the morning definitely helps with this. While I can't do that every day - the days that I can it definitely helps! Also I fell in love with strength training. They are my favorite workouts of the week and they make me feel strong and awesome. I started the month using 2.5/5 lb weights in body works (we use both a heavy and a light) and I ended the month using 5lb/7.5 lb weights - though I mostly use 7.5 lb and push myself to not go back down to 5 lbs.

I'll weigh in again tomorrow, but as of today I had only lost 2 pounds this month. Disappointing? Yes. Hard to keep going when the scale wasn't moving? At times, yes. But I kept going, as best I could and I know that I'm going to lose weight in February. I know it was my body getting used to the new workout schedule and strength training.

I also blogged everything I ate on my food blog. Even when there were the rough times, I still wrote about it. I opened this blog up so you guys can all see it if you like. the link is IeatIrun.wordpress.com

I have already noticed that my clothes are feeling better, I'm feeling tighter and lighter. Last week I bought a cardigan from Old Navy in a size medium for the first time in my life! I also wore a pair of jeans I haven't worn in close to a year. I was feeling great! I can't wait to actually see the scale move because I know it will be very soon!

So in February I am going to keep up with my 10K re-training. I'm running the cowtown 10K on 2-26. I feel SO much more prepared for this race than my last 10K in October. And my hip is doing fantastic now, so I'm very relieved about that. It's been a difficult journey healing my hip, but I've found that the more active I am and work it out, the better it feels (after icing!). I'm also going to keep working on strength training, work on cutting out nighttime snacking and keep focusing on getting as many fruits and veggies into my days as I can. I just bought a juicer and have been enjoying green juices the past few days!

Since the scale hasn't really started moving yet I'm not going to set a weight loss goal for February. Though between you and me, getting to 218 would be fantastic! That would be roughly 1.5 pounds a week.

I'm going to keep blogging my weekly goals on my other blog becomingtheoddduck.wordpress.com so if you want to keep up with what I"m working on, I post each week's goals on Mondays.

How did your January turn out? What are you going to work on in February?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4EVERADONEGIRL 2/2/2011 2:27PM

    Way to go on rocking January!!! Can't wait to see what you do in Feb!

Rock on girlie!!

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SEPPIESUSAN 2/1/2011 9:36PM

    Even if the weight loss hasn't been as fast as you might like it does sound like you're doing all the right things. Yay to size medium!!

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    SO PROUD OF YOU. you motivate me to keep going, too :)

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LINDAKAY228 2/1/2011 8:36AM

    COngratulations on your accomplishments for January. I had read about the cowtown and really wished I could do it but couldn't afford the travel from where I live in New Mexico. Maybe next year. My son lives in Fort Worth and I would have loved to go stay with them since it's been a year since I've seen him and my grandkids. Also, the 28th is my birthday and it would have been an awesome way to celebrate. But like I said, maybe next year I can do it. I'll be thinking of you and rooting for you on that day!

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FITKITTYMAMA 2/1/2011 12:00AM

I'm glad to hear January went well for you and that you have learned to love strength training! Like you, I didn't see a big loss on the scale in January either, but I feel like I have laid the foundation for great things to happen and am developing healthy habits for life (finally)!


Comment edited on: 2/1/2011 12:00:58 AM

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Don't judge me

Monday, January 24, 2011

What if every time that you judged someone negatively in your head they turned to you and said, ďDonít judge me.Ē

First Ė that would be terrifying. But second, I bet you would figure out pretty quickly how to reverse your immediate judgments about people. Wouldnít you?

Now imagine that every time you think something bad about yourself, the same thing would happen.

Hearing yourself say, ďDonít judge meĒ isnít as powerful as hearing someone else say it, is it?

I had a particularly difficult therapy session today. In the 1.5 + years Iíve been seeing my doctor we have worked through a majority of the superficial problems (and some deep issues too) and now we mostly talk about school, the future and the difficult stuff than I have been putting off dealing with. Specifically family issues and the self esteem/weight loss issues I still have.

I will spare yíall the details, but today came down to the conclusion that I lack compassion. I will never be a successful clinical RD unless I learn to develop compassion. For the record, I feel like I have more compassion for people that it felt like today in my session Ė but I guess thatís just my outward projection. On the inside, I donít have as much compassion as I try to show.

Ultimately I will never learn to have compassion until I finish my weight loss journey. Why? Until I actually achieve my goal and am a successful example of how to live a healthy life, how can I teach others to do the same? And how can I inspire others when I havenít done the same for myself?

While those statements are true, the more important reason why I wonít learn compassion until I finish losing weight is because I am SO hard on myself. The harder I am on myself, the harder I am on others. How can I have compassion for others until I learn compassion for myself? And how will I learn to stop judging others negatively, thus detracting from any compassion I could have for them, until I stop judging myself negatively?

Oh my god, it sucked to hear all of these things today. On some level it wasnít a new realization. Iím sure each one of my close spark friends has told me at some point to stop being so hard on myself. And Iíve made SUCH progress with this problem in all the other areas of my life. But when it comes to losing weight, Iím still struggle Ė beating myself up some days. Thankfully now, I have more good days than in the past. Iíve made progress. But I still have progress to make.

The worst part of the session was when my doctor said that when she sees a patient who is 300-400+ pounds, she doesnít think ďHow did they get there?Ē Rather she thinks, ďWhat can I do to help them get better?Ē

That felt like a punch in the gut to hear because that is completely NOT my mindset. With myself or with anyone else really. I felt like such a mean, negative person. I have completely given up everything in my life to pursue this new career so I can HELP others be healthy, but yet I judge that 95% of them will never achieve it in my head. AND I think the same thing about myself.

We talked about why I havenít finished losing weight. We talked about how I sabotage myself because I donít really think it will happen. We talked about how I feel self conscious every single day Iím at school because I am considered obese by the BMI calculator, yet I am studying to become a RD. I feel like some people think Iím a joke because Iím studying nutrition, yet Iím overweight. And Iím terrified to graduate, become an actual RD and lose credibility from someone the second they see me because I am overweight. In a lot of ways, Iím racing against the clock to finish this journey. I need to be able to ďlook the partĒ and that is a lot of pressure to be facing in a new career and new life.

One thing that was positive from the session was the reminder that even if I am overweight, I am fit. I am more fit than a lot of the people who are skinny in my classes. This is something I forget a lot of the time. Iím also smarter than a lot of people in my classes Ė but that doesnít always have the *immediate* positive benefits that being thin or ďlooking healthyĒ would potentially give me in my new field.

The only real conclusions I came to today, other than feeling like a horrible person, was that I need to really work on my own judgments of myself. I need to stop the negative self talk to myself. I need to believe in myself and know that my hard work is going to pay off. And I need to think that Iím going to be a kick ass RD because Iíve lived through the emotional and physical torture that losing weight can be Ė and that is something I can pass along to my patients.

Even though I have made SO much progress and feel like a completely different person now, I still have some underlying thought processes and thought patterns that I need to change. It is not my fault that I think this way. It was the environment I was raised in and never questioned until 1.5 years ago when I started therapy. But I cannot blame my childhood any longer and I have to make serious changes to this area of my life.

I have to stop judging myself negatively. I have to stop telling myself Iím not capable of losing weight. I have to stop sabotaging myself, thinking Iím not worth it and blaming myself for being in this situation. Instead I have to think of how I can help myself get out of it and how I can help others to do the same.

Change your attitude and your outlook will follow.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    a) i love you
b) my word for this year? COMPASSION. yes. i'm serious. it's the word I decided on in early december to stand firm on all year. AWESOME.
c) i am excited for your journey :) xoxox

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TARAHA 1/25/2011 10:35PM

    I am a chubby RD and I can tell you that my career in dietetics has not been in the weight loss arena for precisely the same reasons that you feared. That and the fact that I liked management, nutritional support better. This was a very hard blog for me to read because I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I have always been embarrassed to tell people what do.

But this cloud has a silver lining. While I do not work in a clinical setting, my weight loss journey has sparked other co-workers to join me on this challenging road. It has also given me (and you) a very important prospective - we KNOW what they are going through and we KNOW how hard it is. This WILL give you empathy and compassion that you do not feel you have right now. This will make you one of the best clinicians out there!

BTW - I have looked at your spark page and you look Fantastic, not obese. You look slim and fit! Remember that Tom Cruise has an obese BMI. So do many muscular people. Good luck with your journey, and thanks for being so honest and lastly - cut yourself some slack girl!

Hang in there and let me know if I can help you in any way.

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4EVERADONEGIRL 1/25/2011 12:52PM

    Glad that you are making progress! Sounds like a lot of deep issues were stirred up and the comments left below are awesome...I can't help but agree that you don't have to be at goal weight to be a terrific RD. Each client will be coming to you for a variety of reasons and unless your goal is to ONLY treat patients that are looking to lose weight you are placing this limitation on yourself rather than it being a true limitation. So why not throw it out now and stop letting it hold you back?

Keep up the progress!!! And thank you for sharing some really deep, personal thoughts! :-)

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BROWREN 1/25/2011 8:40AM

    emoticon "Iím terrified to graduate, become an actual RD and lose credibility from someone the second they see me because I am overweight." This is not a compassionate thought towards yourself. Do you think that people can only see you as credible if you have lost the weight and maintain the loss? What about all of the other people who see an RD for other issues? Could you only treat a patient with diabetes, high cholesterol, or hypertension if you have experienced and overcome those issues? What about the cancer patient that is having difficulty keeping weight on? Will you be able to feel compassion for them?

You will never be able to have previously experienced all of the reasons why a person would chose to visit an RD, but your desire to help them improve their life should override everything else. And that has to start with you, accepting that you can be a great RD, even if you don't lose all of the weight before graduation. You are still a work in progress, striving to live a healthier life, and that is what is most important. Your great wealth of knowledge, willingness to work hard, creativity, and desire to help will overcome any negative first impressions created by your weight. As a potential patient for an RD, that is what would keep me coming back, not the size of your clothing.

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BADAMS86 1/24/2011 11:57PM

    Wow! What an eye-opening and amazing blog. "Iím terrified to graduate, become an actual RD and lose credibility from someone the second they see me because I am overweight." Right there - that is not having compassion for yourself. Give yourself more credit than that! For starters, you are going to encounter many different situations with patients throughout your career. Like the doctor who thinks "what can she do to help them," You must think in regards to yourself, what it is that YOU bring to the table that can help not only yourself, but the people you are charged with helping in your career as an RD. You are going to do amazing things and really make a difference in people's lives, and even your own life if you will allow it! :)

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WOOLANDWOOD 1/24/2011 11:06PM

    Just want to say to try to start the compassion for yourself now because if you base it on completion of your move to treating yourself/body better by getting it done then you will starve yourself of your (perfectly acceptable) emotional need for it. And I have found that if I am kind to myself while I lose weight my life is all around easier.

I only mean to be helpful and hope that you find my expression ok.
I don't know how old you are and I'm not sure it matters except to say that I think it's great that you are taking care of yourself now.

Keep up the good work, I know it's hard; I'm in therapy too. And it's hard work. emoticon

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