OMG when will this nightmare END?

Monday, January 17, 2011

So frustrating and I am so down in the dumps. I was getting myself in a good frame of mind for this biopsy that was to happen "tomorrow". My luck postponed now to at least Wednesday. Got call first thing this morning from doctors office i need blood work before the biopsy can be done.

If i did not go to the doctors for a check up (yearly) I would not be going through this nightmare! Yeah right I would not have known if anything was wrong and who knows what could of happened. I would be my happy carefree self! No worries!

We had a bad storm I drove immediately to Quest so the vampire could take my blood . So hopefully they will have the lab work tomorrow and I can proceed on schedule with the biopsy.

I got frustrated because I had to take tomorrow off and lose a days pay which is a lot to me as I am only employed part time with no sick time available to make up for the loss of pay and if I have to keep this up well most likely will end up on the unemployed line They are not very understanding the company I work for you are suppose to live breathe and eat for them.

I think I am going to lose my mind if this keeps up and funny thing it isn't anything the insurance company is doing and everyone blames them - no insurance company has been very good. I think I need to move from FLorida where there is better health care .

So sorry for the ramble Thanks for lending me your ear to bend for awhile

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHAWFAN 1/18/2011 8:21AM

Hoping for a good outcome on your biopsy. Take heart, you're not alone. Let us know how everything goes. Prayers going out for you. Report Inappropriate Comment

WALKINGGRANDMA 1/17/2011 11:34PM

Hope your woes end soon. Insurance companies are actually awful villains. Besides that, sometimes there is missed communication and the doctor really wanted your labwork done and no one bothered telling you. Plan the biopsy for your next day off (if the lab work still is good.) Hope tings work out well. Report Inappropriate Comment

MOMONTHERUN1 1/17/2011 9:26PM

It'll all work out for you in the end. It is a good thing that you went for your yearly exam! Never, ever not go. I had mine late last year and they thought that they found something so I had to go for an ultrasound and a mammogram. Thank God that my results came back negative and I hope and pray that you have good news when all of of this is said and done. Hang in there.... Report Inappropriate Comment

ASTEINMETZ10 1/17/2011 7:58PM

I am sorry for the hassel you are going through right now. insurance/hospitals can be a pain in the behind. However we are all lucky to have them and the technology around. I do not know your whole story. I just saw your blog in one of the forums we both belong too. I wish you luck with your tests. I wish you good health and good results. Report Inappropriate Comment

BRANDTSGIRL 1/17/2011 5:17PM

Oh my I will think of you often until you find out what's going on. Know that we are here to help and be with you at this time. Report Inappropriate Comment

MISSM66 1/17/2011 4:49PM

Hope everything work out for the good,I will keep you in my prayers. Report Inappropriate Comment

CONCHA77 1/17/2011 4:34PM

Hoping only the best for you, friend. Keep us posted about the outcome. Will be praying for you. Hugs. Report Inappropriate Comment

CLAIRE94620 1/17/2011 4:17PM

praying for a positive outcome Report Inappropriate Comment

HONEYMUFFIN1923 1/17/2011 4:14PM

Can you pick up some extra hours to make up the pay? This too shall pass. Hoping you test results are good. Report Inappropriate Comment

WALKFIT 1/17/2011 3:13PM

Hope it all works out in the end Report Inappropriate Comment

DEBLYNN323 1/17/2011 3:05PM

Sorry for your challenges of late! Hang in there. Hope your test results are good. Report Inappropriate Comment

Is the end coming into sight for me of the worrying?

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Hopefully Tuesday will be the end of my worrying and I will be done with all medical test . I am tired of it as of right now and its more stress than I want to deal with, if you know what I mean.

It started last month for my 1st mammogram in about 12 years then I had to do one because it was thought a lump was felt Well it was a lump that was found during a yearly so I was sent in for a mammogram after having it test showed it was just fatty tissue so no worrying.

NOw that I turned 50 time for my mammogram I don't fell anything there what so ever Little concerned that mammogram this time couldn't say / tell if it is fatty tissue like it did years ago. Now after a compression & ultra sound I'm being sent for a biopsy. Like what gives? this time? Technology is so much better now!

This is so nerve wrecking it isn't even funny Yes I understand it maybe mostly nothing at all but I do have my concerns

While I was getting my 2nd round of test I met other women who had a bad mammogram but they only had to redo the mammogram and they were in and out. Me I was there between the 2 test 70 minutes - so why so much longer for me? See why I'd be worried?

The test (biopsy) is for Tuesday morning I decided I could not play and wait until I had a day off from work so I took the appointment made arrangements for someone else @ work to pickup my hours. Front End Manager good about that my co workers have been very supportive during my craziness of stressing and worrying could ask for a better bunch of people to work with. Now if only I could get the support from my family here . My one cousin in another state is being very supportive as well.

As far as I can tell that I am in group of women who never gave birth or who gave birth to their first child after age of 35 are in a higher risk group. Then women who had children before 30.

So God willing Tuesday will be the end of my worrying and just a false alarm. Keeping positive thoughts . Wonder if since I lift weights if I could have done something to myself while lifting weights and that is what is causing me all the stress?

Thanks for listening to me ramble

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELISADENK 1/16/2011 7:36PM

Wow! Take a deep breath. Infact, take a couple of deep breaths. A lot going on for you. Please let us know, too. Okay? In my prayers. Report Inappropriate Comment

What was I thinking?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Apparently not but that really isn't anything new for me! Last month my ex found me on facebook he sent me a message I answered and added him as a friend no big deal right Right!. He gave me his phone number to call well I notice the other day he wasn't on facebook any more so I broke down and called him yesterday. WE spoke a little bit he was at work (mind you that is something new for him) Work was always a four letter word to him .

Then I called him today to speak alittle while long in the 2 conversation I have found out he's been clean for 2 1/2 years and became a christian and now working as a diesel truck mechanic .

Now why on earth couldn't he do those things when we were together for? Only God knows . I told my mother I spoke with him she had a a complete tizzy fit over it I told her don't worry I'm not moving back to OKC, OK I just wanted to see how he was doing since he found me on facebook. I'm glad to hear he is doing so well.

So 2 things what was I thinking of calling and the real question is why on earth did I tell my mother for I knew what she'd do. Oh well this is life.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SERENADALLAS 1/13/2011 9:44AM

Been there done that too...but I found at times I actually got upset that he couldn't have "done" that while we were together. Sometimes it is best to leave the past right where it is at. Your mom - tizzy fit....take it this way. She cares about you and does not want to see you hurt again. Us MOM's are funny that way. Someone hurts our baby...watch out. We are always protectors no matter what age our kids are at. If you feel good about knowing how he is doing great...but if you find yourself thinking about him all over again...take the suggestion and leave it in the past. ;) (ok I am off my soapbox - I just don't like to see anyone hurt!)....lol Report Inappropriate Comment

AUNTB63 1/13/2011 8:48AM

I think you did the right thing. Contacting the ex and finding out he has turned his live around most have been a little shocking, but now you know and can let it go. As far as telling your Mother. She is your Mother and has unconditional love for you and will get over the conversation. She just wants to protect you from getting hurt again. Go forward from here and things will turn out for the better. Report Inappropriate Comment

MSLEO88 1/13/2011 8:43AM

Lol. Great Blog!!! That's what moms are for though Report Inappropriate Comment

WALKINGGRANDMA 1/12/2011 11:30PM

I'm glad you have found peace with your ex. I'm glad that the problems in his life are getting better. I agree that it is frustrating that you weren't able to enjoy the fruits of his being clean. Telling your mother may have been necessary. She is feeling protective of you and wants only the best for you. He hurt you. She doesn't want that to happen again. She will get over it. It will be fine. It is mother love. (at least I hope so.) Report Inappropriate Comment

JORDBAERROSE 1/12/2011 9:42PM

If we can't tell our own mother, whom can we tell lol.. They flip out and fall down again.. I do this tizzy fit with my own teenagers Report Inappropriate Comment

SHIRNEST 1/12/2011 9:32PM

Haven't we all done that. Report Inappropriate Comment

SHIRNEST 1/12/2011 9:31PM

Haven't we all done that. Report Inappropriate Comment

Ugh I'm so frustrated at Radiology & Doctors

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

I'm actually a lot calmer then earlier today I had my schedule all lined up duck in row for a very busy and productive day . Then it hits the fan Radiology calls to tell me that my appointment I had is on hold due to they could not get authority for my compression test (bad mammogram I had) since I don't have valid insurance Yeah part my fault gave them the new info you know new year new insurance cards. So I'm thinking all okay get another call to tell me oh no you don't have coverage so no test. I call Blue cross not what they told Radiology or doctors office what was told to radiology was they could not confirm this test would be covered under insurance - no kidding dick tracy 1st of all I have to pay until I reach the 3000 deductible anyway. I call radiology back with a reference number so I can go for test By now I am totally frustrated and think what the hell I'm not going now anyway If its something so be it I don't care.

An hour or so later radiology calls back okay they can squeeze me in now for the test No I'm stubborn not even speaking to them now I really want to wring their bloody necks for sure.

I so hate health care here it is the absolute worst. Makes me go back to 2004 when I told the then primary care doctor I was in really bad shape I couldn't lift my arms to comb my hair - walk - get out of bed hardly could dress myself so much pain. YOu know what his response was "you're middle aged and obese deal with it nothing is wrong with you" He gave my some kind on tranquillizers ( I never took them) It took 6 month to convince that doctor to send me for test that is when it was found out that I had rheumatoid arthritis my numbers were off the chart. He never apologized to me.

Funny when you think about health care one blames insurance companies for giving the run around never had them play games with me its always the DOCTORS playing games.

I had appointment last month which radiology canceled on me and now this . What if there really is something there that I need to take care of? Its no wonder why so many people give up trying to be treated in the medical world and just die Its such a hassle to go to doctors. Today just a head game I had to go through the whole holiday not knowing and now this I'm just so frustrated and really have no desire to go back if I'm going to get the run around.

Though I do know it is not smart of me not to follow through with all the cancer in my family. Maybe tomorrow I will have a change of heart. I really don't need this stress in my life.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SERENADALLAS 1/9/2011 9:55PM

Thinking positive thoughts for ya on thursday! Report Inappropriate Comment

SERENADALLAS 1/8/2011 7:13PM

I can certainly hear your frustration and I wish there was something witty I could say. All I can think is be selfish - TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. YOU ARE IMPORTANT and I wish you much peace and that the silliness of Doctors/Insurance etc stops so that you can get that peace of mind! xoxo Report Inappropriate Comment

ATHIMAE 1/6/2011 8:53PM

I agree with MistyRiver, the only person who will be hurt without the test is you. Keep persevering, it's just the system they work in - not the heart of the people themselves. You can do it! Athi Comment edited on: 1/6/2011 8:54:18 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

KENDALL7261 1/6/2011 10:29AM

Good Luck! It is so frustrating when things get delayed. Report Inappropriate Comment

-COURT- 1/6/2011 12:38AM

I know someone who put off her mammogram...Stage 3 and lost one breast. I hope things go well so you can alwlays have your test. Nothing like preventive care. I understand insurance stress can be a hassle. Hope it all works out. Report Inappropriate Comment

ELISADENK 1/5/2011 8:33PM

Hugs and cuddles! Report Inappropriate Comment

LINDALOU86 1/5/2011 7:09PM

Ugh. Health care can be such a pain! Hang in there. YOU are worth it! Report Inappropriate Comment

MISTYRIVER64 1/5/2011 7:05PM

Yes, it certainly sounds like it's causing you stress and that's not good in itself. Please try to continue with the tests though. The only person hurt in that case would be you - please don't let it go. Best of luck Report Inappropriate Comment

3 days into the new year

Monday, January 03, 2011

Well so far so good 3 days into new year made it 2 time to gym. yesterday gym was nearly empty today it appears everyone decided ot go and workout very busy place. Thankfully today was just a cardio day.

I had salad and soup for the past 2 days for lunch and cooked real meals for dinner and I have even taken the time to track my foods, I know this will not last but on days not to crazy Iwill make a better effort to track. Tomorrow I won't be home from work until 730 or 8 so most likely will be soup.

I don't usually get 2 days off in a row so I made up for work that I have put off in the house got lots accomplished these past 2 day and took time for "ME" what a novel idea that is

Received my bill from radiology today much nicer bill then what I was expecting still i still have more test on Wednesday due to mammogram that didn't come back good. that will be an interesting bill to see what HMO pays and doesn't.

I found a doctor to do mom's cataract surgery now to get an appointment for her.

So far 2011 is looking up for me. I will be pushing myself to be more Consistent with my workuts & eating habits. This will be a great year.