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Enough is enough!!

Monday, October 26, 2009

I had an awesome weekend! I went to Twin Lake MI for a scrapbook weekend. I didn't get much done on my current scrapbook but I scrap calendars to give as gifts to parents and grand parents for Christmas and those are done! I had a hard time concentrating while i was there because I sat right next to a picture window and saw this:


Beautiful isn't it??
Anyway it was a really great weekend. Two of three of my BFF's were able to make it so we had lots of fun talking and laughing.
While I was there I realized something. I realized I didn't want to go back to my old ways. I didn't want to lose the muscle that I have worked so hard for. I don't want to be chubby and hate the way I look again! I will not do it!! Of course the only way to stop that from happening is starting to care (again) about what I put in my mouth. I have to care if I get up early (and there for go to bed early) to get on that treadmill for 45-60 minutes 5-6 days a week. I have been feeling like a slug for the last few weeks. Part of that is some unavoidable stress but mostly it is because I stopped exercising and gone back to my old ways of eating! So today I am saying enough is enough!! I CAN do this and I can do this without the person I depended so much on this past 10 months! As long as I have the support of my SP Friends I can and will do this!!!


Thanks for reading!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKNMOM 10/27/2009 9:32PM

    Beautiful pics!! Great insight, too! You CAN do it!!

Comment edited on: 10/27/2009 9:33:10 PM

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CHBADILLO 10/27/2009 1:28PM

    YOU GO GIRL!!!!! What a GREAT spirit! You'll be GREAT and thanks for the wonderful pictures. :)

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GOODGETNBETR 10/26/2009 7:01PM

    We all could use support but I believe it builds character, strength, courage, etc, etc when we face certain challenges on our own. You're with you all day long so why not practice some positive self talk(Those cookies will undo that run. PUT THEM DOWN!), become your best ally and you're halfway there. As for exercise, same thing, just have to self motivate. I've wrestled with myself, in the past, for sometimes a half hour flip flopping and basically talking myself into a workout. Good news, the positive self talk and self motivation are like muscles and get stronger the more we use them. Good luck!

emoticon don't go back...continue to inspire!

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2HOTKITTY 10/26/2009 7:00PM

  hope you enjoyed yourself. yes that is a beautiful site.

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BLAH!!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Ok so the first time in 10 months I can honestly say that I have so fallen of the wagon that I am not even being dragged by it, I am just sitting in the dust watching it roll away!!!
I have no desire to workout. I have no desire to care what I am putting in my mouth! I can honestly say that "my give a damn is busted" as the country music song goes. I haven't been on my tread mill since a week ago last Sunday. I went to a nature preserve here in town this past Sunday and walked around with family for almost an hour and a half but if it hadn't been suggested I would have spent the day in the house probably sitting on my butt.
I have to figure out what happened! I know I have been stressing lately but nothing really new that I haven't been dealing with for at LEAST a month and a half. Maybe that is the problem. Maybe dealing with all the same old crap is just weighing on me.
Right now what is weighing on me the most, I think is that I am feeling used and discarded from a person who I thought was a really good friend. All summer long we did this weightloss thing together. I hooked my friend up to SP. We work together and we would walk and talk during for 20 minutes or so everyday during lunch. We would chat online outside of work and just talk about all kinds of stuff. No Topic Off Limits kind of thing. I really felt close to this person. It all changed when I realized that I was spending way to much time with this friend instead of my own family. Then about the same time my husband started to voice his jealousy of this friendship. I told my friend I needed to step back and I said I would always be their friend. Well my friend, I feel has totally dumped me. We don't walk anymore (my choice), this person barely talks to me at all and only about work related things. I have emailed, sent instant messages and texts over the last month all of them have been ignored. I miss this person as my friend. They say they do/are my friend but is that how friends treat eachother? I feel like this person used me and now that they are no longer getting what they need/want from me they are turning around and walking away. It makes me mad and sad all at the same.
Maybe because this whole relationship with my friend was started with the same goal (to lose weight), maybe this whole I have no desire to exercise is a reflection on that. I don't know. To put it into words make it sound stupid and immature....but then at the same time it makes perfect sense.
Thanks for reading

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOODGETNBETR 10/21/2009 7:40PM

    It sucks when the dynamics of a good friendship change for the worse. Try finding a new buddy or use the time maybe recruit your husband. Either way, hope you find your mojo soon.

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SPARKNMOM 10/20/2009 10:02PM

    It's difficult when something/someone who really helped motivate you is no longer there. I've had a similar experience and finally just realized that even tho I felt like that person was an integral part of my success, that really wasn't the case. I've done this on my own (and w/ support from my SP friends) and my true reason for doing so is being happy and healthy for my family. You can do this. We're still here to encourage and support.



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WHOAMOMMA 10/20/2009 3:10PM

    From what you describe you are actually grieving from the loss of this friendship. It will take time to move on and work it out. Friends shouldn't come between family (my sister has a friend like that). You will get back into the swing of things and caring for yourself. Hang in there.
emoticon

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INDIANAGAL1 10/20/2009 9:49AM

    I hope she reads your blog and sees how much you miss your friend.

Some people only know how to do all or nothing when it comes to friendships. I had a friend a few years ago that totally took over my life. When I started dating someone seriously, she was very jealous of the time I spent with him because she didn't have someone else. I was trying to divide my extra time between the two of them but she didn't want that. She ended up finding a new friend whose life she could take over.

No matter how it turns out with your friend, your family and your health have to be your top priorities.

Good luck and I hope you get back on the wagon!

Comment edited on: 10/20/2009 9:51:02 AM

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ROWERANDY 10/20/2009 9:12AM

    If this friend was male, you were correct in stepping back from the relationship. Your closeness must change. Why not reach out to a female and make a new friendship. Your family unit and relationship with them is number one next to God.

Comment edited on: 10/20/2009 12:44:46 PM

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GABBIE00 10/20/2009 8:44AM

    when you think you had been used by someone you thought was a friend will get you down.but pick yourself up and show this so call good friend that you don't need them.maybe she thinks you can't do this without her and come back to the way things were.prove to her you don't need her type and came carry on without her.I know you can and we're here for you.just yell and we're here

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Day 12 of October Challenge

Monday, October 12, 2009

Well I really didn't want to get up this morning. I wasn't tired really, i just didn't want to go to work this morning so I didn't get up on time to exercise, actually i was late for work today by about 10 minutes! I know I feel better mentally all day when I take the time to exercise. So I guess I was just setting myself up for a bad day. Or maybe it was because I am still feeling pretty drained or maybe it is TOM or maybe it was a combo of all three! Who knows but what I do know is that I was in a negative mood almost all day! I hate feeling like that. I hope i get over this pretty soon. I don't like feel like this. I was in pain most of the evening in my lower back and stomach but I am happy to say that is gone. Like my page says Tomorrow is a New Day!!

Good night all, thanks for Reading!


October Challenge:
1 Person - 1. Post an encouraging message on at least 1 persons Spark Page every day.
4 People - 2. Post a response to at least 1 persons Blog everyday.
Doing it now! -3. Blog Everyday in October.
nope - 4. Do the 30 Day Shred
Nope- 5. Walk on the treadmill at least 30 minutes 6 days a week.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKNMOM 10/12/2009 11:16PM

    Oooh...I hate being late. I'm with you - makes my whole day feel crappy!! But...life happens and I never seem to have enough time!!

Hope you pain stays away and that tomorrow is much better!!

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Day 11 Of October Challenge

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Well, again this will be short. It is officially past my bedtime. We had a wonderful day today. I saw lots of people I haven't seen in a long time. I helped serve communion today and I got to stand next to the Indiana District Bishop! I was so nervous my legs were literally shaking!! I did ok, I didn't trip or anything but I am just hoping that someone got a picture because that may be the only time I will ever be next to him. He is a great guy and he gave the sermon about our next 100 years!
Any rate, I got up and walked the treadmill but didn't allow myself enough time to do the shred. Hopefully in the morning I will.

Good night all and thanks for reading!

October Challenge:
2 people - 1. Post an encouraging message on at least 1 persons Spark Page every day.
2 people - 2. Post a response to at least 1 persons Blog everyday.
Doing it now! -3. Blog Everyday in October.
nope - 4. Do the 30 Day Shred
Yes 42 minutes - 5. Walk on the treadmill at least 30 minutes 6 days a week.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKNMOM 10/11/2009 10:48PM

    Wow....great day!!

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Day 10 of October Challenge

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Well you may (or may not) have noticed that Day 8 &9 are missing in my challenge. Well my husband is sick and I was feeling so warn out that I decided to listen to my body and get more sleep and take it easy for a few days. Husband has been saying that I have to much going on for awhile now. He is feeling much better and so far I haven't gotten sick so hopefully it is working!
I haven't been on the treadmill or done the Shred for 3 days now. While I don't like it I am not feeling bad about it. If I take care of myself now and NOT get sick then it will save me a week (or more) of recovery.
We had a great day today. Our church is celebrating its 100 year anniversary tomorrow so a lot of my families time has been there getting set up and cleaning up. Then we went to a 4 year old girls birthday party! It was a great day. I had a nap this afternoon because I had a headache due to dehydration (it is funny how you know these things once you start to get your water in!).
Have a great now all!

October Challenge:
1 person - 1. Post an encouraging message on at least 1 persons Spark Page every day.
1 person - 2. Post a response to at least 1 persons Blog everyday.
Doing it now! -3. Blog Everyday in October.
nope - 4. Do the 30 Day Shred
Nope - 5. Walk on the treadmill at least 30 minutes 6 days a week.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKNMOM 10/10/2009 10:56PM

    Yay for listening to your body and taking days to rest. Hope hubby feels better soon and doesn't pass it on to you!

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