Wednesday, July 07, 2010
I can't think of any cool titles for my blog. I am just really wanting to vent. I am doing the Stress Buster Challenge and they say I should blog/journal when I am feeling stressed so I am taking the advice. There are some random stuff that I need to "get off my chest" not all having to do with weight loss.
In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca
What in human nature (my human nature anyway) possesses someone to KNOW what they have to do but yet doesn't do it? I get so frustrated with myself. I know what I need to do to get fit and stay that way but am I doing it? NO! I have been putting a LOT of time in my garden (hours a day for the last two weeks) but that is only maintaining my current weight. I should be losing weight! Have you ever gotten something in your life get so out of control (a room, the whole house, a project at work etc) that you not only give up on THAT but EVERYTHING else too? I feel myself headed that way right now. I have been putting 100% towards the outside of my house but I have virtually let everything else go. Now I have a good reason to be working so hard on the outside of my house. My dear husband decided it would be a great idea to sign up for the annual Home and Garden Walk in our neighborhood. Then he decided that the back yard wasn't good enough so he started 2-3 big projects (low cost $$$ High cost ENERGY!) creating new beds by thinning things out of other beds. We are almost there. The walk is on Friday and Saturday. I am very proud of the way it looks!
The inside of my house is HORRIBLE! I wouldn't even invite my own mother to come in right now! I am letting things go at work. I am behind on couple projects, I have been eating OK and I swear that is the only reason why I haven't gained any weight. I have been wanting to get on the treadmill but I blame my husband for disconnecting the TV in that room (he rearranged the room and now doesn't have a long enough cord to get to the receiver) and I AM a TV watcher on the treadmill. Music just doesn't cut it if I have nothing to look at. I have other commitments as well. I am very active in my church. I am a Ley Delegate to the Indiana United Methodist Conference for my church. With that comes being on several committees in the church. Including Staff-Parish and Finance committee. I also am on 3 others that I have been on for several years. That means I am going to meetings and doing church functions all year round. Last night at the Staff Parish Meeting it was decided that the church could no longer afford to keep several paid positions on any longer. One of which is the person who teaches Sunday school (she doesn't get paid to teach Sunday School) for my kids. I am worried about what her reaction will be to this news. I am afraid she will stop teaching and/or leave the church. She is an amazing women that my kids really love but she does tend to take things personally. Worrying about this caused me to stay up until midnight last night, which means I only got about 5 and half hours of sleep. Being tired starts this cycle of craving sugary foods and over eating. I am fighting it today. I had a sensible breakfast and I had packed my lunch last night so that will be good. I just need to get past the afternoon. I did get on the scale this morning (usual weigh in day is Thursday morning but I didn't feel right in my clothes so I had to look). and I gained 2 pounds! I am not recording it yet and I hope by some act of God that it'll be gone in the morning!
Which brings me to my point and question I guess. When do you know when you are just doing to much and need to pull back or if you are just going through a rough phase and are just tired. Are these little voices in my head that are telling me to say no to people just because I am tired and having a rough patch right now or is it my instinct (voice of God or whatever you chose to call it) telling me this is what I need to do?
Thanks for reading!