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rough day...could be TMI

Friday, July 23, 2010

I had a rough day, but I think I handled it pretty well over all. I am going to spill it all so I am sorry in advance if you read something you may think is too personal but this is more for me than for anyone else...

I slept well! I have not been sleeping well last few nights but last night was awesome. Well I must have been very tired because I didn't set my alarm. I woke up to my husbands alarm 5 minutes before I was supposed to arrive at work. Luckily I only live 7-10 minutes from work. I took the worlds quickest shower, and the only reason why I did that is so I could condition my hair against the humidity! It was still wet when i got to work. Amazingly enough, I was at work 30 minutes after I jumped out of bed. It helps so much when you pick out your clothes and pack your lunch the night before let me tell ya!
I woke up with a headache. Not cool. I know why I had a headache. A couple of reasons really. One is allergies, so not in love with them! The other was hormonal, ahhh yes TOM is back. Since I started exercising my headaches have become a rare occurrence which I am very thankful for, now it is mainly during that one week a month and then it is almost everyday! Blah! Is there anything that can stop those? If anyone knows let me know! When I got to work I did my usual routine of checking my email (work and personal), got my log in points at SP and checked out my friend feed. Friday is also payday. I get paid once a week and my husband gets paid everyother. Today was my husbands payday so I did my usual checking to make sure the paychecks were directly deposited. As I did my quick jot down of all the bills I need to pay in the next two weeks I realized that I would not have enough money! SIGH! I am about $50 short of being able to pay for everything that is due in the next two weeks! Great! As some of you know my husband was laid off for 7 months. He is now severely under employed! He makes about half of his previous income. We got smart early in our lives and don't have a lot of debt. We have one car payment, a house payment and a second mortgage (we had to have two basement walls replaced in our house) . No credit card debt. Before he lost his job we saved approximately 20% of our income (of course we went on a 2 week vacation and used a bunch of money out of our savings 2 months before he was laid off). The point is, is that we have money in savings to cover the shortage but it will not be replaced! We are saving NO money, there is no college education fund, and he has no retirement fund! That stresses me out! So I started on my work (seeing I was at work after all) but I just wasn't into it. My head was pounding, I was thinking of the money that is slowly being drained from the savings account worrying about what was going to happen once that was gone. I was even considering starting to look for a 2nd job.

I work in accounting and I was given the task to reconcile one of the General Ledger accounts that hadn't been done since 2008! SIGH! Which means staring at the screen looking a numbers! Which is totally mentally draining! That is when I started about work we have a "snack" cabinet. Inside is chips, cookies, little debbies, candy, trail mix, breakfast bars... you get the idea. It is all free! I really wanted nothing more than to go back there and grab just whatever! Everything in my head was telling me to stay at my desk but I didn't I got up! I walked back there and got a breakfast bar. Nothing terrible. high protein with fruit and nuts in it. Then I also got a mini pack of peanut m&ms. I knew I shouldn't have but the devil on one shoulder told the angel on the other shoulder to just shut up and that I want it so I am eating it! I was working away (head still pounding) and I wanted to eat more. Oreo cookies or maybe a peanut butter cup! I really wanted cookies! So instead of going to the cabinet again I got on SP and I reached out. I put it on my friend feed and I put a huddle on two of my teams. even though I only got 2 responses (one person on each team) it made me feel better. I text my husband and told him I wanted a cookie and he told me not to (God love him). That is when my mood started to turn around. I started thinking that I am greatful for having money in my savings account to relay on. I started thinking I am glad my husband has a job instead of one of those people who are waiting on the government to renew unemployment benefits! thinking that I did a lot of work to get to where I am and I don't need to mess it all up in one day! I put on my friend feed how I felt and that alone made me feel better.
Anyway, my head stopped pounding and by time I left work i was feeling much better and to top it all of my dear husband gave me a foot rub tonight! How cool is that!
Thanks for Reading.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKNMOM 7/25/2010 10:48PM

    You've got a lot going on!! Sounds like your hubby is really being supportive....YAY for supportive hubbys!! :) I love, tho, how you ended on such a positive note despite your rough day. Hope you have a great week!!

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BCVWDW 7/25/2010 4:02PM

    I'm sorry you had such a bad day, but I'm glad it turned around for you! You are always such a positive & high motivator. You are blessed & you are a blessing!

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ANGELASUE1979 7/25/2010 11:28AM

    I'm so sorry you had a bad day but I'm really impressed with how you turned it around. Attitude is everything. I feel your pain on the money shortages, I do. I pray for things to improve for you financially.

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CHBADILLO 7/25/2010 10:50AM

    Positive is always a good thing. Hope you're feeling better and can find out how to stop the headaches. Stress is not helping you right now, just continue positive thought living and things will get better. :)

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WALKOFFWIN 7/24/2010 3:28PM

    As a guy who isn't bothered by TMI or TOM, Congrats on NOT eating all those cookies!!! Hope you feel better as soon as that's possible.


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GOODGETNBETR 7/24/2010 2:05PM

    Hey Liz, sorry I missed your call as I've not been as consistent on the friend feed. Glad you reached out. And emoticon having your finances mostly clear and free of debt. Debt is such an insidious villain; giving you what you want today while robbing you of what you'll need in the future. Thank God for Suze Orman, Dave Ramsey and others that are helping us break the cycle. If I do nothing else my son will learn the value of hard work and the power of saving and putting time on your investment's side. As for the headaches, you might be dehydrated during TOM as headaches are one of the first symptoms. I hope you stay strong and focused on what you've already achieved and tomorrow's dreams. emoticon to your husband getting back to where he was or, perhaps even better, creating a new place to belong. God bless

Comment edited on: 7/24/2010 2:07:08 PM

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CONFIDENTLY_FIT 7/24/2010 8:15AM

    Way to go!!! Hope you are feeling much better today!

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JODIANN421 7/24/2010 12:20AM

    TOM is a pain! I am sorry you are having headaches. The only thing I can recommend is a heating pad on your upper back and shoulders and some ibuprofen, If they are anything like my TOM headaches it's stress.. tightening in your neck. You are lucky in so many ways, and it's really good that you were able to see those ways today. You are awesome! emoticon

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SMITTY35 7/23/2010 11:56PM

    So funny how no matter how well we are doing and mentally working on our new lifestyles, that darn TOM always seems to win... I ended up at IHOP today for similar reasons. =) Good job on focusing on the positives and turning yourself around!

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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Last year I found a way to motivate myself. A little bit of friendly competition. I picked one of my teams and clicked on the button that said "See Team Leaders" it has a list of the people with the most Sparkpoints on that team. Then there is a link for Fitness Minutes Leaders. I click on that and find what place I am in and I either try to stay in that position or get ahead by one or two by the end of the month. Some of the teams I am like number 40-something (or more) another I am in 6th. My goal for this month is to stay in the top 10 of that team. I may not even tell anyone that I am doing it. Sometimes I do, then it makes it really fun especially if it is a person like me who doesn't exercise the same amount of time everyday. I am not overly competitive but I do like a challenge!

On another note, I have lots to do this week so I may disappear for a few days. I will still be getting my log in points and tracking my fitness minutes but I will have to catch up on my SP Friends/Team mates blogs this weekend and next week. You all have a great week! Keep on Sparkin!!

Thanks for reading!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EPIPHANYANGEL 7/24/2010 1:40PM

    what a great idea. emoticon

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PPCM_SURVIVOR 7/24/2010 12:25AM

    Thats a fun goal :)

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LIZZYMITCH 7/20/2010 9:14PM

    Ever the busy bee, you are! Good luck with your workouts and have a lovely week =)

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BCVWDW 7/20/2010 3:38PM

    I see how you play - lurking in the shadows ready to pounce & knock some one out of the top ten... emoticon

Have a good weekend & look for you when you get back!

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ANH102712 7/20/2010 9:53AM

    That sounds like a good idea! Have a good week!


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Just needed some down time

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Yesterday was a super busy day! Church meeting at 10, family get together at 12 and fire works! This morning I got up at 7am and went to the store to buy our weekly groceries. I plan everything out and make a list so with that and it being early Sunday morning I was in and out in less than an hour. The whole time I was there I felt like I was sleep walking. Just so tired. Usually I come home put away groceries and then start in the getting ready for church mode right away. Today I just went and sat on the chair! I almost fell asleep. I talked to the hubs and he went to church without me. Not that I am so super tired I just feel drained! I tried to get back to sleep but that wasn't happening so here I am on the computer.
I have lots I would like to accomplish today (farmers market, walking trails at Eagle Marsh with family and taking a walk with my GF this evening as well as decluttering my dinning room!) So I really think that by taking it easy this morning it will be for the best. It is now just after 10am and I don't have my SP Points yet but I think I will get off and find something to eat, shower and get my day started. I just needed some down time this morning...

Thanks for reading!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKNMOM 7/18/2010 11:12PM

    Down time can be a very good thing!! I had a day last week like that - and I really did need it!! Take care :)

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WALKOFFWIN 7/18/2010 11:54AM

    Thanks for writing! Sometimes down time is very important and downright healthy. So I'm glad you took your break and good luck with the rest of your day.


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What's new?

Friday, July 16, 2010

I am making a conscious effort to blog more. Writing down my day to day activities (weather weight related or not) seems to help me work out some of my feelings AND it is pretty interesting reading later.

First I want express how greatful I am for all the wonderful responses to my blog yesterday! I almost wanted to cry with all the people who understood what I was trying to say and their support! You all know who you are! I will be thanking each of you individually after I write this!

Yesterday was kind of crazy. I have gotten into a nice routine of with the kids being out of school and this gave me "taste" of what is coming up yet again as the school year starts. I picked them up from CAWS (daycare) and took them to register (early right??) They start school Aug 17. I always am nervous when the school year starts. It isn't just a source of stress for the kids but it is for me as well. My son has ADD and it never fails that I get a call from the teacher with in the first two weeks of school saying that they can't get him to do anything! Last year he had a wonderful teacher who came to understand of how to get him what she wanted him to do and he made great strides last year. I am keeping my fingers crossed that it will carry over to this year!
Anyway, after the registration we headed to Target to pick up a few things (is it possible to go to target and spend less than $50??) then headed home. Shortly after we got home my parents came over to go to dinner. We went out for dinner to celebrate my mothers birthday! The original restaurant we wanted to go to was closed (note in the door saying they would be closed from 7/10-7/20??? weird!) So we ended up going to a chinese buffet. I did pretty good, not great but I didn't leave there over stuffed and I watched the amount of starchy stuff I was eating so I was pretty happy about that! Back at home it was time to get the kids to bed. It was one of those days were they picked at each other practically all day so I wasn't upset to see them in their own beds! LOL Right around dusk hubs and I took a walk (just under 2 miles), we live in a beautiful area of town and love to see the pride of homeowners in our area!

Today is not as busy so I really need to some de-cluttering in my dinning room which somehow has become the dumping ground of the whole family (including me)! One of my BFF's will be texting/calling me to take a walk after she gets off of work at 7:30ish so that will be a good hour right there!

Have a great day SP and Thanks for reading!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WHOAMOMMA 7/17/2010 9:58AM

    Glad you had a good day. It is getting to where if you want to walk it's either early AM or just around 8 or 9 PM. It is nice to see people flowers and how they keep things up.

Have a great weekend.

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 7/16/2010 11:33AM

    Target is dangerous!!! I went yesterday for cat food, spent $100!! My kids are getting ready for school too. It is tough! I will keep my finders crossed that your son finds another amazing teacher!

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I am afraid to tell people what I weigh...

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Even on Spark I don't like to admit what I weigh. It isn't what you think either! I don't weigh 200, 300 pounds. My starting weight was 129, my goal weight is 110-113. I hear it a LOT "oh I would kill to weigh 129" or "why are you bothering?" or "you are so little already".

I tend to weigh myself almost everyday so I know the fluctuations the scale can do in a month. My official weigh in day is Thursday morning about 5:30am. Yesterday I hopped on the scale form not being on in a couple days and imagine my surprise when it said 122.2! I have been on a sort of plateau of 124 for quiet awhile (I say sort of because while my eating has been good the exercising is lacking until about 2 weeks ago) so I was so excited to see that 122. I thought "PLEASE stay there for a day!" Then I went about my business of the day. This morning I remembered as soon as I stepped foot in the bathroom! I step on the scale and sucked in my gut (like that helps right?? I do it all the time though!) and there it was 122.6! I was thrilled. I wanted to tell someone! But who?? Here is the problem. Some people who would NEVER say anything negative about people who are overweight (even if they are thinking it) would NOT hesitate to look at me and roll their eyes and sigh loudly and start their comments. Even if I never told them how much I weighed just that I lost two pounds.

I read a Daily Blog a few weeks ago that said that naturally skinny people will never fully understand the body image problems as some one who was/is obese. That part is true but if you think *I* don't have body image problems too you are sadly mistaken! I wear a 34D - pretty big for a person my height and my stomach sticks out just as far as my breasts do! When I raise my arms I see skin flapping in the wind! My thighs rub together when I walk! Sound familiar?

Last summer I got down to 113. I got comments about me losing weight and then it followed with "not that you needed to" comments. WHY do people do that!? I had one friend that after I said I gave another friend a pair of pants that no longer fit me she asked me what size I was now and I told her a size 4. She rolled her eyes "I hate you". I looked at her and told her I worked very hard for that 17 pound weight loss and I was NOT going to apologize for it! But the comments like this stick with me! I have other shorty's tell me just ignore it and you have to be short to understand. Well to me that is like saying to an obese person to just ignore the pig sounds teenage boys make at you when you are eating your lunch of salad!

I love to encourage and help motivate people on their journey here at SP but can I really do an effective job if I didn't have to lose 100 + pounds? I think I can but it is hard when even SP picks the MOD as someone who lost a ton of weight!

I am very proud of losing 2 pounds this week! I will continue to get back down to my goal weight but don't be surprised if I don't tell you what I weigh...

Thanks for Reading!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NICARAGUACHIC 8/12/2010 5:16PM

    Keep up the hard work! Every pound lost is hard work, especially when you start smaller! Don't let other people's opinions of you or comments deter you from figuring out what weight you feel the healthiest at!

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HSMOM2FOUR 7/18/2010 11:21PM

    WOO HOO!! Great job on the 2# loss!!

I'm one of the ones who has quite a bit to lose... but ya know what? I only envy you that you have the diligence and self-control to do something about it before it gets way out of hand. I only wish that I had done the same. YOU GO GIRL! I'm proud of you!

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LIZZYMITCH 7/15/2010 10:40PM

    i hate that there's a divide in the community of people losing weight. just because you never suffered through obesity doesn't mean your weight loss efforts aren't valiant and amazing and worthy of excessive celebration. call people out on their insensitivity! you are taking care of yourself and doing something extremely positive for your health, and that is something that everyone should admire. you should be shamelessly proud. don't let anyone diminish the value of your accomplishments. it's all stupid psychology. but if you turn it back on them by being defiantly proud, you can shine a light. you can encourage other people to do things they ought to be proud of. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!! You lost TWO POUNDS!!! That is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

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ANDI571 7/15/2010 9:46PM

    Good for you on losing your 2 pounds. I had a Weight Watchers leader one time tell us that when a person who comes in and do only had 5 or 10 pounds to lose and you judge them for it, she asked would we want to gain that 5 or 10 pounds.

We all come in differnet sizes and shapes, and what 10 pounds does to one, might not do to another.

When I lost years ago, I noticed that the friends I hung around that were my size quit hanging around. I guess misery loves company.

Keep up the good work.

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ONEKIDSMOM 7/15/2010 9:07PM

    Believe it or not, I can identify with you on the compliments with the sting in them, "not that you needed to"... well, nobody tells ME that, as I topped out over 200, but there are some things I've learned in my trips to thin-ville.

One is that as one gets smaller, fewer pounds separate clothing sizes. Fewer pounds divide feeling good from feeling not so good.

So, good for you! It takes just as much work for someone who is smaller to drop ten pounds as it might to take a much larger person to drop 50! And on a small frame, you might really need to.

emoticon emoticon

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ROXELLS_WARRIOR 7/15/2010 12:41PM

    Wow. This should be a community service announcement! Thank you for sharing your experience, and I hope people who recognize themselves as the commenters will take note.
And emoticon on the two pounds and breaking the plateau! Keep it up, woman! You're awesome!

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GODS_CHILDREN 7/15/2010 12:19PM

    When I had gained from 110 to 145 I went to WW and everyone told me if they looked like me they would be happy. I felt so guilty that I quit and ended up gaining more....Wish I only had the fifteen pounds I first gained to lose but going to WW and only having to lose 35 still matter to me.

Don't let what people think is a compliment make you feel guilty. YOU and only YOU know what weight you feel your best. It's a struggle no matter how much you have to lose.

The truth is any weight less then you are looks better to others and that is why they say it as a compliment but not to say you shouldn't be there. I didn't learn that until I gained so much no one said that to me.

Funny thing is because I always have a hour glass figure people tell me " I wish I had your curves" I just say back I wish I had long legs. LOL NO one is really ever going to be happy with themselves because of the way society is about looks.

Keep striving to reach the weight that is meant for you and when someone says that just say, You will get there but by then I hope to be at 110. wink!

Good luck!


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SWAMSER 7/15/2010 11:48AM

    Remember the number on the scale is just a number. What helped me was to track my body fat instead of weight. Many of the body fat scales also tell you your % of water. This also brings some comfort since if your water % is higher you will weigh more. When you talk to others few will tell you you don't need to lose weight if your body fat is more then 10%. (most don't know ideal, 10 just sounds like alot) Also finding your body fat will help you determine if you are at a healthy weight.

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JODIANN421 7/15/2010 11:27AM

    Congrats on your loss! You have been working very hard and should be proud of yourself! I am proud of you! And I have to say you are one of my very best motivators on this site!! You are always encouraging, and I thank you for that :) emoticon

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 7/15/2010 9:35AM

    Just because you dont have a lot to lose does not make it easier! I only wanted to lose about 10 lbs. They are just as hard as losing more! You have to do the same things to get the weight off. It is all about how you feel about YOU! Keepup the great work!! 2 lbs.... emoticon

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K82BTHIN 7/15/2010 9:22AM

    I feel for you. I really do and I am double your weight. My very best friend in high school was naturally thin AND tall. Lucky her. She couldn't gain weight. Her doctor really wanted her to and she would have 2-3 McD's milkshakes a day.

Her body image was shot by the time she was 16. I learned way back then that even thin peoople need there props when they achieve a goal about weight!

So here are yours! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Way to go on your achievement!

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EGGENS 7/15/2010 9:17AM

    emoticon Good for you losing the 2 lbs this week! I think people just don't think before they say or post things. Who is to say which person's journey is harder than the others?

I am tall so I have the opposite problem. I tell people I need to lose 40lbs and they are shocked. For me it was liberating to post my weight on my spark page and have it for everyone to see. I hope you have a great week and that the weight keeps coming off.


Comment edited on: 7/15/2010 9:18:16 AM

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