Tuesday, March 24, 2009
It may not be as easy as it appears. I love food SURE! But that can't be all there is right?
I was never fat as a child actually I was small, both in height and weight. The boys used to swing me around like a rag doll. While I do not and have never considered myself to be fat my heaviest has been just one pound over my "normal" range. I have not been healthy for a VERY long time if ever. I ate when I wanted and what I wanted without a thought of the consequences. Oh I remember back in high school thinking that I had a pot belly (I was 95 lbs then LOL). I really wanted to get rid of that but I didn't do much about it. Right after I graduated high school a girlfriend and I started working out at a place a lot like what Curves is like. I got in much better shape and I actually gained 10 pounds which I can only assume was all muscle. Then I got married. I stopped walking so much (I never had a car in high school). We ate out A LOT! I stopped working out after about 8 months but I never lost that weight. At 26 I had my first child. I gained about 30 pounds and lost it all very quickly but slowly after I was done breast feeding the weight crept up. I had my second child at 30; again the extra pounds went away rather fast. But you see I was still eating like I was pregnant and eating for two, still eating like I did back in high school.
After the weight came back after my second pregnancy I started to get concern. I was seeing my life slow down rather than speed up. So much was going on at home my son was having what I now know is signs of ADD but we thought were Autism. I had a new born; I had to go from 3 days a week part-time to 4 – ten hour days at work because my husband took a job for less pay. Then I felt like I just coasted. For YEARS I just coasted. Then came 2007, my son was having an awful time in school we went in for meetings at least once a month. My daughter was in the emergency room 3 times in 8 months for different things (the worse was being hit by a car- no permanent damage done). My father was diagnosis with colon cancer (he is cancer free today). My mother-in-law’s health went down hill very fast and she was unable to live by herself. A lot of family drama was going on when there are 9 siblings! I was differently WAY down on the “to do” list. All the while I was able to look at myself in the mirror less and less from the neck up let alone from the neck down. My husband, bless him, still told me how beautiful I was, how sexy I was. So I used that as an excuse as well. Well if HE thinks I look good…
Things got much better in 2008 but I went back to coasting. Actually as I am thinking about it was more like I was waiting. I was waiting for the next bad thing to happen. When I got on the scale and saw that I was just a pound away from being considered obese it scared me. Then I knew I had to do something!
I finally got tired of being tired all the time, of being moody, of snapping at everyone that means the most to me. Most of all I got tired looking down and seeing my belly stick out as far as my D cups!!!
So here I am. Believe me I have not even come close completing my journey and I still have a lot of questions on how do I do this or that. I have had to learn how to eat healthfully for the first time in my life and I am still learning but with help I will get there.
Thanks for reading!