Sunday, January 29, 2012
I never win anything. Really. This is the first time in my life that I threw my name into the proverbial hat and was lucky enough to have it drawn back out. My prize? A shiny new workout DVD, delivered right to my door. I was very excited to give it a try, but I have to admit that in my mind it would only be a supplement to my already rigorous routine of spinning, running and strength training. When I popped the video in and saw that the first workout was only 22 minutes I thought "That's okay, I can just go to the gym later to get a real work out." Let me tell you, I did not make it to the gym later that day. In that 22 minutes I broke a sweat, breathed hard and had to skip the last set of squats because my legs had reached failure. I did wish that I had more coordination for the foot work required, but I'm not known for my grace. Besides, after the first two work outs I saw what was coming and was able to keep up just fine.
I also loved that the workout was different every time, never the same two days in a row. It was never boring, and I always felt like I worked my whole body.
I know this sounds like a fluffy review, but I really am glad to have this vid in my arsenal. I love that I can do 40 minutes, or 22, and either way I'm getting a comprehensive work out. And I love that Coach Nocole isn't a loud, obnoxious mannequin who is totally out of touch with who is actually doing her workouts.
So, go print your coupon, get yourself to Target and see for yourself why I'm so glad I finally won something!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
So here's the plan:
I am 190 lbs. today. My goal weight is somewhere between 164 and 175. I would like to weigh 170 on New Years Eve. This is not a hard and fast rule however, because I'm more concerned with my body fat %, which is 30% now. I want it to be 24% and if it comes with a 178 lb body, so be it.
I will only weigh myself, and check my BF on Friday mornings for the next 20 weeks. I have been weighing randomly and it only leads to confusion and frustration.
I will not eat after 8 pm for the next 20 weeks. I've been snacking at night, mostly fruits and veggies, but I've realized that the REASONS I snack at night, whether it's chips or grapes, are the same. I want to find a way to replace the destructive, self soothing habit with a more constructive one. If I'm home, I'll do 15 minutes of Yoga or meditation. If I'm not home...I'll have to figure that one out.
I will do 40 Yoga sessions by the New Year. I love Yoga. It works for me. I want to incorporate it into my daily living. Some opportunities to sit in on classes on campus, and join the school's Yoga club have arisen and I'm going to take advantage.
My weekly work out goals will be as follows. Spin 3 days a week, 45-60 minutes. X-train 1 day a week, 45-60 minutes. Lift weights twice a week, 20-30 minutes. 60 minute Yoga session, twice a week, an 10-15 minute sessions daily.
That sounds like a l lot of time...I wonder how many years it will add to my life?
School starts in a week, as well as rehearsals and performances every night for 4 weeks. Sh!t is going to hit the fan. I'm going to have to work out in the morning. It's going to be hard. It's going to feel so good, and make my life so much easier.
*I reserve the right to re-evaluate these goals in a few weeks and make adjustments when necessary. This will help with my evil "All or nothing" mentality.
Ok, let's do this.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Even though it's 7 miles to the top of Mt. Timpanogos, it's an incredibly popular hike. In fact, for the last few months I've been telling people that my goal for the summer was to summit Timp and I would get responses like "I love that hike, I've done it every year since I was 4!" Or "My Grandpa just hiked that for his 75th birthday!" Lots of people hike it, it's not too difficult for most, but the 14 mile round-trip hike has been out of my league for 31 years. So it was a big deal to me.
We live just below Timp, I see it every day. I have the perfect view of it from my favorite treadmill at the gym. I would look at the peak during my workouts, find the crag that I was planning to hike to, and increase my incline, always visualizing myself at the top. (Visualization works, try it.) This hike has been an abstract goal of mine since last summer. I had been working hard at losing weight and had some success, though I still weighed 275 lbs.. My husband and brother in law did the hike, and when Blake got home and told me all about it I told him right then that in the summer of 2011 I would do the hike with him. He loved the idea, but we tucked it away, so as to not get our hopes up. Come spring, I was down to ONEderland, feeling strong, and ready to take the goal seriously. We started hiking once a week. 3 miles, then 5, then 7, until we were doing about 10 miles a week. I also started training towards the goal at the gym. Spin, walking inclines, yoga and lots of glute and hammy work. Lots of glute and hammy work. OMG, so much glute and hammy work. August 14th rolls around and I'm ready to take on the mountain!
We woke up at 6 am to the sweet smell of rain. "Just get ready, we're going." he say's. Who am I to argue?
Oatmeal, eggs, coffee, banana, a little Spark. I love a big breakfast!
7:45 at the trail head. My best friend is there, we're all telling jokes and laughing, comparing trail snacks and tales of a sleepless night. My friend say's "I love the beginning of a hike, when spirits are still high." So true.
It's nearly impossible to describe how beautiful it was out there. There was cloud cover, but it was clearing up. We had a really heavy winter, late spring and wet summer, which means perpetual wildflowers in the mountains. I couldn't tell you how many times we all said "This is beautiful!" or how many times we all stood, speechless, trying to take in the landscape. I kept reminding myself that this was a place in the world that I never could have experienced if I hadn't done the work, and how glad I was that in my lifetime I was fortunate to experience such beauty.
We got to this snow field and my confidence started to falter. We knew there was still snow on the trail, we had been keeping up with the reports. It was nerve wracking, but not nearly as scary as what was ahead.
This is the point in the hike where I was rehearsing in my head how I would tell my husband that I just couldn't finish the hike. Physically I was fine. In fact, the rest of my group was complaining about their quads and having to stop to catch their breath. I was just fine. But I was scared. Blake could see it in my face and would smile and tell me I was doing great. In the picture above I had to work out a strategy to get me through. See, I couldn't stop too often or for too long to see how far I had to go because I would get wobbly. I would focus on the one step ahead, plant my foot hard, make sure I had it, and take the next step. I had to look up sometimes, to remind myself that I was getting closer, but nothing mattered as much as the next step. I made it just fine. The adrenaline was orgasmic!
It was quite a grunt to the saddle. It's about 6.25 miles up. The trail ran along a very steep cliff. It was loose gravel, and steep. When we got to the saddle I could look ahead to the winding trail that lead to the summit and I wanted to be sick, I could hardly appreciate the view of Utah Valley below because I was so focused on how scared I was. My husband had a signal on his phone and called the kids. He handed the phone to me and my 6 year old reached through the line and touched my heart when she said "You're brave mom, go to the top." I tried not to cry, put on my pack, swallowed my fear and pressed on.
Made it! 7 miles! 6 hours! I felt amazing! We spent a little time up there taking pictures, eating, hydrating, making each other laugh. I sat quietly for a while, trying to process.
I had carried this picture with me the whole way. It was taken in April of 2007, just after I married Blake. I was 320 pounds. I hate this picture. Blake and I looked at it a while. I shared it with my friends and we talked a little about what my journey has been like. Everyone said how they can hardly remember me that way. I hardly remember myself. I know I was living in shame and fighting off depression most of the time. I was in love and happy to have met such a wonderful man, but could hardly get comfortable in the relationship because I didn't feel worthy of it. I was always tired. I was sitting out of my own life because it's hard to live fully in a body like that. I sure as hell wasn't spending my Sunday afternoons on the tops of mountains. But I love the woman in that picture, because it was her, after all, that decided to make a change. It was her that believed that the woman I am today existed. She had no proof, no assurance that it would work. But one day she put on her tennis shoes and walked a mile. She drank more water than she was used to and stopped eating after 8 pm. Then she did it again the next day. I owe everything to woman in that picture. I didn't tear the picture up or burn it like I thought I would. I folded it up tightly and stuffed into a corner of the shelter. She belongs up there. It was her day.
We finished the hike at 8 pm. I had blisters. I was sick of it by the end. I needed to go to the bathroom. I was glad it was over. We stopped for burritos on the way home, scarfed them, showered, and crawled in to bed. It wasn't until the next morning, when I opened my eyes, stretched my body and felt the days hike in my muscles, that I was overcome with joy. I have done it. I am here. I am the woman I always wanted to be. I have more body fat to lose, but I don't have to wait anymore to live my life. I can do anything, today. I am more motivated than ever to show my body unconditional love and respect, by feeding it well and using it often.
Thank you for reading this. I've been so looking forward to the day I could write this, thanks for being here for it. Show yourself some love today.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
I'm sitting her, 11:32 PM, a bundle of nerves. Tomorrow morning I will hike 7 miles to the tip top of the second highest peak in Utah. I'm so thrilled about what is in store. It will be beautiful. My best friend and her husband will be there, as well as my sweet, sweet husband. The most thrilling thing is how confident I am in my physical ability to do this. I have hiked about 50 miles already this summer, in preparation for tomorrow. I'm skilled and strong and ready to do this. This hike feels so iconic to me. It's going to be a testament to who I truly am and what I'm capable of overcoming. Yay!
Also, a little pic of me in a size 12 dress that I wore to a function at school tonight!
Such a good day! I can't wait to share tomorrows hike with you all, lots of pics promised!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
I love spin class! I haven't been running lately because it hurts my knee so much. I had started increasing my distance, and even let myself daydream about running a half in the fall, but it started hurting so much, and it was totally cramping my style for a few days after a run. And I have this great hike coming up in August. It's 14 miles round trip, the second highest peak in Utah, my husbands favorite annual hike and this year I can finally do it with him. The problems with my knee were hindering my efforts to prep my legs and back with my ST, so I had to choose. I chose this hike as my half this year and we'll see what happens next year. No running for a while.
Anyway, no running means creative cardio and spinning is my next favorite thing. The problem is I can't always make it to a spin class. My husband works weird hours, the daycare at the gym doesn't always have room for my kids during class times, sometimes I only have time for 30 or 40 minutes of spinning but I HATE leaving a class early, cause I don't want to be thought of as the fat girl that can't keep up anymore. Luckily I'm pretty crafty and totally willing to do what ever it takes to get my workouts in.
I found this site http://www.trihardist.com/p/cycling-workou
ts.html and downloaded a bunch of spin class podcasts. I love them! I'm in the spin class all by myself, I keep the room dark and the fans churning. I can stop early without bruising my ego, I can grunt and whimper and curse if I need to (I often need to).
The old me would have said "Oh well, guess I can't do spin classes" and given up. There are a million reasons to not go work out, or to do anything that is simultaneously hard and good for me. But I won't play that game anymore. I'm lucky enough to have a gym membership and a family that supports all the time away from home that it requires, but mark my words, if the day ever comes that I don't have a gym, or can't get away easily, I will still find a way to work out. If it means carrying my 6 year old on my back while I walk up and down the 4 steps to my front door a zillion times, then that's what I'll do. I will never give up the strength, health, peace of mind, self esteem, clear skin, restful sleeps, toned shoulders, good, no great sex, authentic hunger, tight a$$ and general sense of well being that working out gives me. Never. Never ever ever.
Of course, I have 14 months of consistency and progress that gives me the courage to make a statement as bold as that. Maybe you're just starting out and the workouts are still hard and you still dread them. I remember feeling nauseous on the treadmill, I remember having a red face all day because of a 20 minute workout, I remember starting out on what I thought would be a 1 mile walk and having to quit half way through because I couldn't catch my breath. You'll just have to take my word for it that the time will come that exercise becomes easier, calming, meditative, even fun.
Prove me wrong, I dare you.
I love that saying "There is someone busier than you running right now." And I've even thought a few others:
There is someone with more children...
There is someone with more serious injuries...
There is someone older...
There is someone heavier...
There is someone with uglier workout clothes...
It's hard to find the time and motivation to work out. Suck it up, do it anyway. Get creative, get selfish, get crafty, whatever, get moving!
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