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I hit my goal...

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Its been four years since the weight started to come off. Four very long years with lots of ups and downs that sometimes didn't feel like it was worth it. But it was because this morning I officially hit 100 pounds gone. That's huge. Almost like I just lost a whole person. I tried to take a picture of the scale but its digital and wouldn't accept a picture. I might not sound proud enough of this accomplishment, but I am. emoticon

I have to move back to Vermont in July (to attend school) and I am a little worried that this won't last. Living in New Orleans has at least afforded me the ability to walk for lengthy distances with very little problems because everything is flat. Yesterday i went to Audubon park and walk for so long that I honestly have no idea how far it was that I walked, but it was worth it. I hadn't been sleeping and last night I was finally able to get some sort of rested sleep. Plus all the vit d was really good for my mental health. So maintaining this is going to be a bit of a stretch and pretty hard since I hate going out there. Its ironic in a way. I can go out in New Orleans by myself and be alright, but doing that in Vermont and I feel a whole different way-I get to scared to do it. It's pretty pathetic honestly.

Yesterday I pushed myself to get the heck out of the house. the entire time I've lived here, its been pretty much been in the house. I lost my "other half" this winter (his choice-not mine) and also my adventure partner so I've waited to do stuff with everyone, but there isn't anyone. I missed Mardi Gras, seeing so many of the little things I've been craving seeing but since I waited on someone else, they just didn't happen. So finally yesterday despite one very massive panic attack I made myself get out of the house for a few hours. I took the bus, went to the park and had a really nice time. It was really warm which as nice, I should have brought my sunblock-by the time I got home I should have applied it a few more times. (which is why I am staying in today-i got pretty sunburnt). I"m going to miss it here, so figured its time to get done what I can in the time I have left here. (and before it gets too hot).

It's nice that some things are falling into place-good timing too. My birthday is in a week.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BANANNAPHANT 4/25/2014 2:28PM



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LIZIEBEAN 4/24/2014 8:43PM

    Thank you for all the grats and well wishes :) It means a lot. I am really hoping to be able to come back to at least some place in the South-New Orleans has been amazing and hopefully after school is over I can come back.

Thank you all again :) emoticon

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SWEETRACHEL313 4/24/2014 1:52PM

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! You are an inspiration! emoticon

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DANCINCAJUN1 4/24/2014 11:22AM

    congratulations !! you are doing so well .... you have been down there at the best time of the year .... it does really get hot and humid but it is great as far as I'm concerned ... so many things to do .... and you do notice the difference in the people down that way versus those up here in the north .... so much more laid back and lots friendlier .... so proud of you ... maybe you can return? keep up the good work ! rocie

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JMJLTOP 4/24/2014 11:21AM

  That is an amazing feat you accomplished! You have enough strength and determination to get as far as you have gotten... Don't let your mind play tricks on you!.... You have the strength to get through your fears, even in Vermont.

I get pretty anxious sometimes too. I am more introverted and would rather spend time by myself. I am fine out in public and love people, but I like my alone time too. I had a rough childhood so it is hard for me to trust people. What has helped me tremendously is my puppy dog, Joey. He is my best friend and makes me so so happy. He will never leave me, and all he wants to do is spend time with me.

Keep your chin up. Meditate or pray if you don't already. It will give you the mental strength to get through it.

Congrats again!!!

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BRAINBENTT 4/24/2014 11:07AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SPATTEN2001 4/24/2014 11:03AM

    Congratulations ... that is quite an accomplishment!!! Very proud of your perseverance ... you can continue on this pathway even back in Vermont ... we are here to encourage you all the way!!!!

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Snacks and stuff: a team effort

Thursday, January 30, 2014

It seems like watching movies is never complete without having some sort of snack nearby. Josh and I tend to watch movies before bed (most of the time) and if there is something snacky like popcorn or my favorite-chips-they will be eaten. It is almost like the two go hand in hand. Literally.

As of late I've been trying to think of ways to make yummy movie snacks that do not take long to prep, that he and I can make. That is one of the most awesome things about him. He gives me cooking lessons and I've openly admitted that I am not one for cooking and my abilities are limited (even though I've been told that I don't give myself enough credit in that department). I spent the morning scouring spark recipes looking for nom nom-y movie snacks that we can make. I've found some (like trail mixes or variations on the chex mix. and also hummus. I would kill for some hummus to use as chip dip instead of the store bought stuff right now) and have also gotten on this slight kick to alter our pizza that we came up with. The original version is not what you would call healthy at all because of the white sauce and the amount of meat that goes on it (but since it's made very infrequently I figure splurging on that once in a blue moon is alright).

Both of us could stand to loose some weight and since movies and cooking lately have been a team effort I think this is a good thing.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DANCINCAJUN1 1/30/2014 10:33PM

    there are some good recipes here on this site .... I got hooked, as did my son and grandson, on the low fat zucchini brownies ... oh my they are so good .... very filling and just look so chocolately .... another good item is the apple crisp -- I condensed it to the apples sliced and then put my cinnamon and sugar mix on it then spread oatmeal on top ...put some liquid can't believe it's not butter on the top and cook in the oven for 30 minutes ... once we added a little bit of apple juice to make it a bit wetter ... good good good .... rocie

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Earned the right to celebrate but I'm at a loss as to how.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

I am one of those people that can easily celebrate the achievements of others in a heartbeat. I can think up awesome fun things to in order to celebrate but when it comes to my own ground breaking achievements I find my self drawing a huge blank as to how I should go about doing this.

It's not like I haven't earned this right, because I know I have. I've come so far in the past few years in many aspects of my life and I haven't once stopped to give myself credit for the majority of it. I don't know if it's just that I really don't know how to or if I don't totally feel comfortable with giving myself that huge compliment or what, but I do know its over due for something, I just don't know what that something is.

In May I'll graduate from college with my A.S in human services which has kicked this "celebration" idea into over drive. I've chosen not to return to Vermont for the ceremony, partially because I am not comfortable with being the center of attention in front of that many people, and partially because of a large hassle involved with seeing some people there, yet in any case I've chosen not to attend so it's left the recognizing of this event up to me to plan, if I wanted to and I do.

Graduating college is like the finally of the last four years of busting my rear to shape my life into something worth living. Four years ago I was on all these toxic psych meds, my weight was the highest its ever been, and I was on the "comfortable" road going pretty much no where. I stopped the meds and a year later enrolled at CCV. I've lost nearly 100 pounds (Was close this past summer, but now it seems I've gotten closer to that monumental goal), and I've made some pretty scary choices that resulted in doing something that has turned out to be good, even if it is terrifying.

So I suppose it's no wonder that I can't figure out something worthy enough to celebrate these achievements. I've thought of buying something (but what do I really need or want bad enough), I am taking a family trip the local zoo/aquarium/insectarium because I've never been to a zoo or an aquarium and I've always wanted to. The insectarium has a room of free roaming butterflies and which includes blue morphos (i'm slightly obsessed with them) and it's that room that is drawing me to go.

The only other thing that keeps coming to me time and time again is a tattoo. I know people get them for all sorts of reasons and I only shy away from it, not because it will hurt, but because I want to make sure that is something I really want. I've still got time to think about this, all of it since technically graduation isn't until May, (the zoo trip is a bit early though). I guess I'm just at a loss of how to do this and have it match the importance of the changes and events that it's representing.

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LIZIEBEAN 1/28/2014 10:32PM

    Oh the zoo is so happening. :) Its been one of the few things I've been super excited about. The tattoo is just one of those things that keeps kicking around but the reality is I might never get one even if I like the idea. Thankfully I know enough to wait until I am totally sure that its something I want before jumping into that pit.

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DANCINCAJUN1 1/26/2014 6:16PM

    I am truly not into any tattoo for ladies at all .... now that zoo ... I'm one of those that go and go and go as you never see it all ... the wonders of nature !! roc

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UMBILICAL 1/26/2014 6:11PM

  Follow your heart

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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

This year is GOING TO BE AWESOME, because it has to. It's January and I've reached my 80 pounds lost mark again. My weight jumped in Vermont and since moving to NOLA it's come back down at a really steady rate. I started my last semester of college today which opens more doors for my life and my future and I am EXCITED! Maybe it's just today that I have such a positive out look on my life and I know that some days that perspective isn't so positive and that is something I should work on.

Regardless I am proud of myself and my accomplishments in the last year. I have busted my rear to get where I am and I really should remember these things when I start feeling sad, ugly or fat. (It happens to the best of us). It also helps having friends that love and support you, when the others walk away. emoticon

Later Spark. I'm off to do something amazing and I have no idea what it is yet.

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EULAJADE 1/23/2014 1:42PM

    Im so proud of you. You have really worked your butt off. I miss the crap out of you but i'm happy that your finally happy and doing what is best for you. Keep up the epic work your doing with school. You are one of the few wicked smart people I know and I KNOW you will be successful. Cause I believe in you and you have the drive. I love you Sis. emoticon emoticon

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DANCINCAJUN1 1/21/2014 8:44PM

    emoticon so glad for you ... you sound so positive ... a good attribute for sure ... roc

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Weight yo-yo

Sunday, December 15, 2013

By the end of my summer in Vermont my weight had jumped back up to 430 and I have to say I HATE recording weight gains. It's just very depressing and everything and I hate doing it. But I did this time because I does make a difference in long run. (can't have all positive without a little negaitve mixed in). So I've been here a little more than two months now and if I remember right I had gotten down to 428 just before I left in October. I weighed myself today and since I've been here I've managed to get back down some more- 412 :) This is good, very good. Summer scares me with all the heat and humidity and everything so the more I loose the better. Monday Josh and I are going to look at the cemeteries and the Christmas lights (I know what a combination!) so that is a lot of walking to add also. I am hoping that the New Year brings good stuff this time around and not more chaos. Thanks but I've had enough of that stuff to last another lifetime.

In case I don't pop back in to say "hi", Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year.

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DANCINCAJUN1 12/15/2013 9:02PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Thanks and happy days ahead for you .... Rocie

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